Thread 82454769

>5 months later
I'm starting to think she's never coming back

>>82454769 (OP)
Me and you man, me and you
How and when did she disappear though

>>82454769 (OP)
>I'm starting to think she's never coming back
Once you go Black you never go back.
Sorry whiteboi, her pussy is very warm though, I will cum inside her for you, bro.

>>82454775
she disappeared back in april she got all distant and then she disappeared :(
I miss her :(

>>82454769 (OP)
Its been nearly 2 years for me.

>>82454803
why are you larping as a black man?

>>82454775
>>82454881
You know you were not man enough for her, she need Black semen inside her womb to be happy.
Don't be sad, be happy for her and her womb full of Black Bull semen.

>>82454769 (OP)
She's not dude.
It's tough. I'm sorry. It's even worse when it's like this >>82454833 and you don't understand why

But you need to look at the future. Not the past

>>82454881
at least I'm not suicidal and depressed, now I'm just depressed

I too know what it's like for the most important person to just randomly grow cold, make themselves hate you, and then vanish. I want to see them again. I want them around.

>>82454922
her leaving so suddenly really fucked me up, but oh well at least I finally stopped thinking I would never find a girl as perfect as her
>>82454942
why does this happen? why do they do this

>>82454951
>her leaving so suddenly really fucked me up
I know that feel anon. I really do.

>>82454979
don't know about you but it was a bit traumatic for me, if I ever get a gf again I'm gonna be afraid of her leaving me all the damn time

>>82455005
>if I ever get a gf again I'm gonna be afraid of her leaving me all the damn time
Yeah, that's one of my biggest fears too. I think I have trust issues now.

>>82454803
>Black
>>82454803
>pussy

>>82454833
Damn man, you don't have her contacts or anything? Like a tiktok or whatever, it's how I figured mine ghosted me
>>82454951
>why does this happen? why do they do this
They end up regretting talking to you and don't want to make you feel bad so instead of saying they just ghost you which makes you feel bad anyways

>>82455005
>>82455036
I agree with both of you.

The hardest part for me is just how little they share with us. It's like they don't want us to understand them at all. It hurts being shut out.

>>82455061
>The hardest part for me is just how little they share with us.
I wish she would tell me why, but maybe she just doesn't want to deal with me emotionally. I get that, but in ghosting me she basically just threw me away. It sucks being treated like an item that she got tired of.

>>82455099
Oh hey, shark girl anon.

Yeah, it does. I will never tell girls they shouldn't complain about being objectified, because it happens to us too and I know how much it sucks. I just wish they would hold other women accountable for doing it too

>>82455036
I mean I already had abandonment issues I was always afraid she was gonna leave me and this just made it way way worse
>>82455061
yeah whenever she was not feeling well she would not say anything she would just disappear and she wouldn't answer my texts I started smoking because she did that a couple of times and I would get really anxious

>>82454951
>why does this happen? why do they do this
They are emotionally dysregulated people who aren't able to talk about their feelings, or face normal conflicts properly. In the face of any hardship or trigger they enter a flight or fight response. Healthy people at this stage rapidly unconsciously regulate their emotions to not lash out, and not run off. Unless they were really worked up, then they'd have to manually ground themselves and calm down.
However these people have no unconscious ability to do this, and their ability to manually do it is compromised from either trauma, bpd, neglect, or pain. They need to seek help to fix this behaviour because it's cruel to everyone around them and themselves, as they'll either lash out unwarrantedly or run off. Yet they don't because instead they hurt people even more by thinking that person would be better off without them in their life.
I wish we could fix all traumatized and emotionally unstable people so everyone could be happy.

>>82455128
honestly I should be angry at her and hate her but I just can't I still love her and I miss her very much I wish she would come back

>>82455115
I feel like women get a lot more leeway with objectifying men. You'd never really think twice about a woman saying objectifying things about a guy, but the other way around seems a lot worse for some reason. Regardless, objectification sucks.

>>82455119
>this just made it way way worse
Every time someone leaves you, it trains your brain to think that the next person is going to leave you too. It affirms your fears/beliefs and makes it that much harder to heal.
For me, I just take it as a given that she'll leave me eventually, at this point, so much so that I kind of found peace with it and it didn't even hurt that much when she ghosted me. I just said to myself, "Well, that's it, I guess."
Unfortunately, I think I now have problems with loving people. How can you love someone while constantly fearing that they'll leave? It's impossible to trust someone while fearing they'll leave all the time. I don't think anything will fix it. (Probably would've helped me if I had better parents too.)

>>82455158
Anon... you really need to hope she doesn't. It's normal to feel that way because humans are designed to grow together but if she comes back she will probably leave again and it will be worse. Just try to bandage the wound and let it heal. Don't scratch at it.

>>82455177
>Probably would've helped me if I had better parents too.
this I remember always fearing my mom was going to leave me forever, she never really made me feel like she loved me

>>82455181
I know you're right but I just need to hear from her again just one more time even if I probably won't like to hear what she has to say (she would probably only come back to properly break up with me)
people like me should not be in a relationship I don't deserve to be loved

>>82455191
You brought back my memories of fearing my parents would leave me. Granted, I developed the fear from reading stories about kids getting kicked out of the house at 18, but my parents weren't exactly very reassuring. I'd constantly receive threats of getting kicked out because I was "useless."

>>82455211
my parents simply weren't reassuring at all that's why I feared they would leave me, well I was only afraid of my mom leaving, my dad was scary and I was afraid of being near him

>>82455158
I wish for the person I am thinking of to come back as well.

>>82455223
I wonder if there's a trend of people on this board having shitty parents. I mean I'd say there's a bit of a trend from what I've seen so far.

>>82455177
>I feel like women get a lot more leeway with objectifying men. You'd never really think twice about a woman saying objectifying things about a guy, but the other way around seems a lot worse for some reason. Regardless, objectification sucks.
It's because men are taught to just accept whatever treatment we get.
>>82455202
Anon please don't spiral like this I don't want you to kill yourself
>>82455191
>>82455211
Bruh y'all's parents are actual villains

>>82455238
probably, someone should make a thread about that
>>82455241
>Anon please don't spiral like this I don't want you to kill yourself
that's something that's been on my mind since she left, the uh not deserving love part that is. I did got suicidal the first 2 months after she left
>Bruh y'all's parents are actual villains
my mom would always give church and whatever other church related things priority over me and she would say that god is more important than us (she still does) also she would take care of her friend's kids and she treated them better than me

>>82455202
Don't know why I still love her even though she would just leave like that... how irrational we are sometimes. I wish I'd find a girl who'd love me the same way I love people.
Well... I don't think my brand of love is very healthy, anyway. I think I have issues with codependency. But if someone could switch off their love just because they got mistreated, wasn't that love just fake? I'm not saying people should put up with mistreatment, but it's hard to just stop loving someone immediately.

>>82455241
>Bruh y'all's parents are actual villains
I wouldn't call them villains, but they are utterly incapable of empathy. Maybe their own parents were shitty and they just replicate the behaviors they were taught. I find myself starting to exhibit the behaviors they laid upon me, and I'm not happy about that at all.

>>82455273
>my mom would always give church and whatever other church related things priority over me and she would say that god is more important than us (she still does) also she would take care of her friend's kids and she treated them better than me
That's not even just bad that's outright schizo, God's always telling people to take care of their family

Actual cognitive dissonance
>>82455282
>villains, but they are utterly incapable of empathy. Maybe their own parents were shitty and they just replicate the behaviors they were taught.
To me that makes it worse in a lot of cases. My mom uses that as an excuse but all I can think is "so you know how bad it feels when someone does this yet you do it to me anyways?"

>>82455282
I have a problem with codependency too which she was always telling me she liked and actually she was like that too, again I just don't know why she changed so suddenly
>>82455313
>That's not even just bad that's outright schizo, God's always telling people to take care of their family
that's why I had a problem with religion for a while, these days I don't care though but yeah telling that to your kid really fucks him up

>>82455313
>My mom uses that as an excuse but all I can think is "so you know how bad it feels when someone does this yet you do it to me anyways?"
Not like it matters anyway. They won't listen to me. I'm not really a person in their eyes, more like a pet. Who cares about what I feel? All they care about is their perfect little child and if it acts in a way that breaks their perfect little worldview, they need to beat the child back into the way they think things should be.
I know people would tell me to move out, but I'm a ridiculously late bloomer with no job prospects and too much fear to build a support network. I don't know what I'd do if I left the house, especially in this economy. I envy people who have the drive and independence to move away from their parents and live on their own. I don't think I could do it. I'd have killed myself pretty quickly.

>>82455339
>again I just don't know why she changed so suddenly
I'll never understand it myself. Maybe they just kept up the lie to feel better about themselves ("I'm sparing him the pain"). Maybe they lied to themselves about liking you. People on this board say they're BPD but I think real BPD would be worse than that...
Conflict avoidance is a hell of a drug, I suppose. Anything except the truth. I can empathize with that at least.
Also, maybe some girls just do it for the validation and then get bored. That's also a possibility.

>>82455383
>maybe some girls just do it for the validation and then get bored.
ugh I really don't want to think she was one of those girls but the thought certainly has crossed my mind more than once

I'm probably the most avoidant girl you can think of, i run away from people all the time and spend years thinking about them and being ashamed. It comes from trauma but i know it's shitty. Just know that if they are anything like me, they care about you in their own fucked up way. It's not that they don't care, it's that they care too much. You did nothing wrong.

>>82454769 (OP)
Ahahahahahahahahaha she is definitely riding someone elses dick while you cry over her you cuck bitch.

>>82455451
well if she's anything like you, is there a possibility she will come back?

>>82455451
If you cared you'd seek treatment for this honestly, and come back to people you do it to.

>>82455383
>I'm not really a person in their eyes, more like a pet. Who cares about what I feel? All they care about is their perfect little child and if it acts in a way that breaks their perfect little worldview, they need to beat the child back into the way they think things should be.
Yeah that's exactly it man. You can't be you, it's always "you have to __" "you can't __" and if you ask for some kind of reason it's just "because I said so"
>>82455339
>telling that to your kid really fucks him up
Yup. Way too many parents don't actually understand the way their actions and words create their child's worldview
>>82455451
What causes this
>>82455469
Anon, please don't

>>82455469
Unfortunately, no. Shame is at the core of avoidant tendencies, so the longer i stay away the more impossible it is for me to come back, because shame grows and i don't even know what to say to explain my disappearance. It fucks my life and any opportunity for real connection and i suffer greatly from it, but i always end up thinking people are better off without a mentally ill person like me anyway. I hope she's not like me though

>>82455492
>Anon, please don't
I can't help it sorry, I miss her very much
>>82455495
I get the shame part but if she came back I wouldn't make her explain herself I get it I understand how she feels.
but this is just wishful thinking I guess

>>82455451
>It's not that they don't care, it's that they care too much.
Doesn't really reassure me or make me feel any better. None of that matters when she ghosts me and I can't talk to her anymore, you know? She removed herself from my life, so she basically doesn't exist anymore from my perspective. So why would any of that matter to me?

>>82455492
>You can't be you, it's always "you have to __" "you can't __" and if you ask for some kind of reason it's just "because I said so"
You should've been around when I posted the thread about me punching a hole in the wall because my parents made me cut my hair, lol. Irrational reaction, I know, but being alive for so long without any agency is starting to make me crack.
>What causes this
Like she said, trauma. It's how she learned to cope with things when people fucked her over. I can imagine why she acts like this if I try to imagine what people did to her in the first place. Still, it's not an excuse for mistreating people!

>>82455495
Did you do that to friends? People you loved? Do you have any stories of avoidance you're comfortable with sharing?

>>82455495
That's a terrible way to look at it. Why don't you try to fix this?

>>82455545
>Irrational reaction
I do very irrational shit too like cutting myself

>>82455485
I think i have a severe form, probably avoidant personality disorder, and obviously we are avoidant in every part of life so i avoid the subject with therapists too.

>>82455492
Neglect and abuse in childhood.

>>82455545
Like i said shame is at the core of it, i'm ashamed to even exist so it's in everything really. I avoid living, i'm almost thirty but don't have a driving license, never went to uni, and all of that is avoidance too because i don't want to try things/am afraid of everything. I ghost jobs too, which means sometimes depression gets worse and i just stop going to work without explaining anything to my boss or colleagues which makes me look like a freak/unreliable person, which makes me ashamed, which makes me ultimately quit the job because i don't know how to explain myself. I obviously did that with any person trying to get close to me all my life too, women or men. I have 40 text messages unread right now, and it's not that i'm very extroverted, it's that i have messages from 2 years ago i've never opened because i'm afraid of reading them. I had a girlfriend i adored and someday she sent a message telling me she missed me and loved me and hoped i was okay, i read it and cried and we still never talked again (it's been 6 years and i still think about her). In fact you'd better ask me to whom didn't i do it, because i don't know how to be anything else. I just always disappear, always run away, always stop myself from experiencing normal human things. I feel unworthy and it's a vicious cycle because it prevents me from getting better, i feel like i don't deserve it and should be punished with loneliness all my life. I have integrated what my parents told me all my life basically.

>>82455751
I've ghosted a couple of jobs too and also dropped out of highschool for the same reason I am a bit avoidant too but when I was with my gf I would do my best to not be avoidant when I wasn't feeling well, I wish she had done the same thing for me but I get it guess that's why I can't really get mad at her

>>82455751
I can relate to that too. I also have avoidant tendencies. I ghosted all of my friends for a couple of months because I was too scared to talk to them. Considered ghosting work before because I was just too anxious to show up, and I didn't want to tell them that because it's so shameful. I felt ashamed the longer I ghosted my friends because... well, I'm ghosting them, why wouldn't I feel ashamed of it? The shame makes it harder to fix. So I understand you. I assume your abuse was much worse than mine for you to be at this point though.
Often times I tell myself I am worthless and a freak and that I should just kill myself. In fact, I'm doing that right now. I'm ashamed of procrastinating but my fear prevents me from starting, and the shame makes me feel even worse.
I hope you can fix it. It takes small steps to get there, and you'll probably fight your avoidant tendencies for the rest of your life. But you can celebrate the little victories you get here and there, just like I often do.

>>82455801
Right? When it's the person you're dating, I would think you'd put in the extra effort to not avoid them and be honest with them. Maybe that fact makes it even worse for some people, though. Being honest to your partner is an even harder ask than being honest to some stranger, sometimes.

>>82455801
That's why i wanted to tell you all in this thread what i would never be able to tell the multiple people i've ghosted all my life: we care, we care so much we feel like we're going to explode, and also we're sorry. I wish i had the strength to say that irl but i know i never will because the idea of being vulnerable and weak makes me sick to my stomach.

>>82455821
You're nice, thank you. I have never dated because of that, i'm actually quite envious that you're able to pause the avoidance in romantic relationships, i only wish for intimacy once in my life but men are even worse for me, they trigger the tendencies very quickly in me. I'm so afraid of relationships it's hard to even explain what it does to me, i don't even know how to start getting better. But you know i'm kind of an extreme case, i hope the person who ghosted you will come back.

>>82455821
I was always honest to my girlfriend but that's just me I guess

>>82455886
>That's why i wanted to tell you all in this thread what i would never be able to tell the multiple people i've ghosted all my life: we care, we care so much we feel like we're going to explode, and also we're sorry.
I'm glad you were able to get that off your chest. Heh, maybe it did make me feel a bit better after all.
>I wish i had the strength to say that irl
Most people don't. Don't beat yourself up too much for it.
>i hope the person who ghosted you will come back.
Thanks, but it's probably not going to happen. I waited for a year for someone else to come back, and they didn't. It's probably just a repeat of that situation. Also, I'm not sure how I feel about taking someone back who would be willing to ghost me like that. I probably would because I'm desperate and because she was really cute, but I'd feel really iffy about it. And the lost trust would probably make things worse. But my codependent heart will probably make things work somehow~

>>82455887
I hope you can maintain that quality, anon, but I can see why it'd start fading away. Lots of people get more and more jaded as life goes on. I myself have started being a lot less honest after getting hurt over and over again for it.

>>82455886
>the idea of being vulnerable and weak makes me sick to my stomach.
my gf was like that, she never wanted to seem weak around me even though I didn't care about that
>>82455961
>I hope you can maintain that quality, anon, but I can see why it'd start fading away. Lots of people get more and more jaded as life goes on. I myself have started being a lot less honest after getting hurt over and over again for it.
she was my first girlfriend, I honestly don't know if I will be able to be completely honest with my next gf if there's a next one I'm already having troubles just with talking to regular people and with friends

im always wondering about that one girl
if she still feels bad, remorseful
she said she cares
but actions speak louder than words
all im left with is disgust at the world

>>82456002
some days I hate her and I'm really mad at her but most of the time I'm just sad

>>82455961
Eh I think you're right in fact, you should not let this person get back in your life and the best thing would be to move on. I'm probably projecting an ideal scenario of reconciliation to make myself feel better about my fucked up ways to be honest.

>Lots of people get more and more jaded as life goes on. I myself have started being a lot less honest after getting hurt over and over again for it.
That's a terrible thing, i hate that we become jaded, that the more we live the less likely we are to be candid optimists. It's so ugly and unfair. But i can only understand obviously

>>82456043
Sounds like you more or less started out jaded

Have you ever had a time when you went the opposite direction? When you got less jaded and more trusting?

>>82456099
Honestly kind of yeah, i was a very shy and inhibited child, so i was never one to show my emotions or anything like that, but my parents hated me, beat me, wouldn't feed me and would let me out of the house like i was homeless and i still would think they loved me, you know how kids are, you don't realize things aren't normal so you're still naive and hopeful. I was probably inhibited already because of that at this point, but i didn't fully realize it. I was also rejected at school but i would still want to have friends, i wouldn't understand why people were mean to me, it wasn't ideal by any mean but at least i hadn't integrated the abuse as my own internal monologue. I was shocked when bad things happened, now not only am i not shocked but i expect bad things to happen to me and i tell myself that i'm a piece of shit all the time, i participate in my own bullying basically. So for me it feels worse than before, yeah.

>>82456227
That's terrible anon

>>82454833
stop punching the Air
chris chan bullshit lmao

>Muh responsible witch
crack-bullshit
punching the air while the camera is angled at the ground is chris chan shit ill lurk your twitter solely to make you seem like a fucking idiot

>>82454769 (OP)
I hope she comes back, so that you don't come back.

I hope everyone gets back those who they have lost

>>82458623
why the bump?
couldn't let your shitty thread die?

>>82458646
I'm not OP, and I'll damn well bump any thread that displaces a spot for another hundred millionth avatarfag/ewhore blog thread or "femcel" thread.

>>82458706
It is the same as the other slop.
But even more repetitive.

>>82458735
I prefer authenticity over ewhoring, ragebait, and coombait. What can I say.