>You guys ever see Brokeback Mountain? There's these two cowboys and they run cattle. And they're running cattle and they're camping and they start kissing cause they're gay. They have wives and kids back home but they're really gay so they dance around naked in the river and shit. In the end Jake dies of AIDS and the other one goes to his old piece of shit trailer. And he's inside that trailer and it's full of gay cowboy shit and the old gay rubs the dead gay cowboy's coat and cries. That trailer full of gay cowboy shit is Chael Sonnen.

You guys ever see Neon Genesis Evangelion? There's this kid named Shinji and he's this little whiny bitch. He has to save the world from these aliens and he uses this big robot to do it. Problem is he's a little bitch so they need some little red haired girl to help him. She ends up getting fucked up and he jerks off onto her cause she's in a coma and he turns the whole planet into jello because he's a bitch. That little red haired girl was Chael Sonnen and I'm cumming on him cause he's a little bitch.

Have you all heard the tragic tale of King Midas? There was this centaur and he was wasted so started handing out wishes. This Midas king, he wishes for everything touched to-everything he touches to be gold. And he's touching things, touching flowers, touching tables, touching microphones making gold. And then he's happy and his daughter comes up and he turns her to gold, too. He thought he had the golden touch but then he fucked up. That king is Chael Sonnen.

You guys ever hear of the story of the Three Little Pigs? There are these brothers, these pigs brothers, they all want to build houses and they each decide they want to build their house different. The first pig is like, alright, I'll make this straw hut, this is my house. And the second pig, he finds some sticks and it looks like shit. And then the last pig brother, he makes his out of bricks. So then this wolf comes up and he sees the houses and he's like, why'd you build these houses and the brother pigs all said "Cause we're little pussies, we're little bitches and we're scared." Those three little pigs were Chael Sonnen.

>You guys ever hear of Hansel and Gretel? So there's these two kids, Hansel and Greta, they're brothers, sister, brother sister and they like candy and treats and they like to walk in the woods. Well, there's some old witch and she sees them, Hans and Gretel, and they see her and her candy and then she eats them. Chael Sonnen are those two dumb kids.