I am excited to share my day with you. I have a lot of hobbies and everything is unfolding in this perfect way.

I think about when we arrive home for the first time and I push you against the door.
Your hands held above your head kissing you.
Forceful, physical, deep.

I'm not telling you what to feel
I'm putting your voice back in your mouth
And letting you choke on the dissonance

Your chaos
a test
The only result
Your own failure

I recognize our truth
Am Grounded in it
Not with
Not without
Together
Our own to each other

You didn't recognize
The Independence you have
The strength you embody
To do your part
In our love

Our space
You destroy
suppress
With contrast
Of your actions
To our truth
self imposed
confliction

Of what you crave
Before you were too scared to take it

Our reality
Beneath all your
Projection
Noise

I put on this album and the first song reflects:

Tell me a lie
Through those honest eyes
It's the painless way
Truth is ruthless...

Draw me a line
But, let the center define
Where the fault will lay
Truth is ruthless...

And, somewhere down the line
It's just a matter of time
Before I fade away
Truth is ruthless...

So, call up your demons
And, cut out their tongues
It's time you were leaving
It's your turn to run
Run away...
Truth is Ruthless...

https://youtu.be/zDZFbaXnhK4?si=g4J8Yg7IqJ5Cs4IV

>>81793549
She's just as obsessed with me as I am of her. That's why she's still here communicating and writing about me all the time. I just said in my post above what essentially the issue is. She fucked up. All she had to do is simply communicate over a misunderstanding and everything would be okay and she would have the world. And then when she's left and planned to come back the distance in silence distorted her past traumas and she misperceived me further. Then she became dishonest to test me because she was afraid when really what she needed to do was trust. But instead she started attacking me and I thought it was someone else.

She hopes that what she felt with me was not true because it's so rare how could it be true, and if it was how could she live with fucking it up? And then she found out it was true. I stayed loyal and faithful for 4 years of silence because I loved her. She'll never have that again in this lifetime from anyone. I looked at her recently, she's not doing well, she did not age well, and all of these are from outside factors that she chose. And now she's living with the rot. And it's a conundrum because she's unable to forgive herself but she's also unable to take responsibility and work it out so instead of feeling the guilt in the pain and the shame she points fingers distorts our truth or how she truly felt when she was with me . She needs a reminder the discord is there.. and writes larp threads all day everyday about me hoping that at some point something will tell her we're not meant to be, but exactly the opposite has happened in ways you can't explain, in ways that are communicated to her.

LISTEN,
I've been wanting to show you this song for so long
https://youtu.be/9pno9BrK8iI?si=lQZ7dRzNdkVHhVXE
~~~~~~~~
>>81788879
Being James you naturally communicated through his voice

I understand and I apologize for my reactions
There are suddenly a completely different tone to All you have said.

You don't need my permission but you have my silent acknowledgment and respect of your process however degrative demeaning, sadistic bully,what you feel are.
Embodiment of James is
How you find your self

What you said in those
What You say of James degrative, sadistic, bully, and as James the words were not external toward another they were internal wrestling with acceptance of who you are
You used This place the same as I do for therapy to understand myself and accept who I am, even if there are faults.

>>81664906

https://youtu.be/acYvqt0iZOQ?si=ZbSuUwpAANrtu5Fi

Now the answer. What could I say? If I don't see you behind those normally empty phrases then even if I feel the same I may turn away misunderstanding you.

The answer? "How are you?". To be honest would type a lot. Too much. To say the truth. How you truly are, is too much and picking just a part of it feels like a affront. So the response chosen even if felt is enough is short and doesn't actually reflect your whole truth, that truth the other loves and doesn't see I'm your response. It pushes them away. It makes them think you changed and they lost you.

Unconditional love refers to the love given and received in complete acceptance and care for each other as long as the condition of faithfulness is kept. Each other over all else in every way.

You are scared of having us. That it's better not to experience me in real life and know I am real and instead settle for what doesn't mean anything to you.

Losing me would be too much. You can't handle that pain and abandonment and it scares you.

Right now you're thinking about what I mean to you and how badly you fucked up, how much it hurts to recognize the worth of our time lost. You're afraid that you fucked us up beyond repair. Your scared of being honest with me and if I'll accept you.