You know... Despite how in your head you think yourself the victim and the wronged one. And you hate your ex-wife and family and see them as villains to blame for your woes...
Your actions, behaviour and lunacy here over the years towards Alisa and Cold Steel show that you are the only monster in your life.
And you did both your ex-wife and your family a huge favour by removing yourself from their lives.
I bet she's thriving, thanking God for allowing her to avoid a future with you.
And your family? I can almost guarantee they breathed a massive sigh of relief once they got rid of you, a clear mentally ill pest.
Luckily you're a bitter recluse now, inching ever closer to suicide.
You're too far gone mentally and too complacent in your own bitterness and unpleasantry for anyone to ever give you a chance.
At least in your death you will finally do a good thing; improving the world for once, by killing a pathetic monster.
And Cold Steel? It will be continue to be loved. Alisa will continue to be the most romanced character in the arc. And Rean? Forever THE Face of Trails.
You will die in bitter solitude and endless agony. And you deserve it.