>>24854814
My diary desu

i don't care about women anymore, i just want to seek immortality and/or supernatural power and/or ultimate truth, because i'm autistic like that

>>41327382
This is spot on.
Being spoonfed occult knowledge is missing the point of your journey completely. The death of curiosity is a horrible existence.

as someone who took esotericism/occultism seriously and delved balls deep in it (aka autistic hyper-fixation), it's all bullshit. kabbalah, alchemy, hermeticism, freemasonry, rosicrucianism, whatever it is it's just one huge larp for one single purpose: gatekeeping. there's nothing more to all of it, it's literally just a bunch of guys who wanted to find other guys to accomplish the same goal, by using excessively cryptic symbolism and allegories as codewords to not get noticed by the catholic church or whatever. there's no philosopher's stone, there's no immortality, there's no supernatural power. yes i'm a moron for thinking there was actually something higher to all of this but there's not. the world is just as boring as it seems

Real Satanists don't worship evil or believe what they do is evil. They think God is evil, and they are good. To be a Satanist and really mean it is an act of heroism on a cosmic scale.

5' 8"

What's the difference between a gnostic and a satanist? Real satanists not larp ones. Satanism in popular culture is worship of evil (O9A) but real satanists think they are good and god is evil. Which sounds an awful lot like gnosticism.

>be me
>wizard
>group of losers trespassing on my land
>decide to intervene, nothing else to do but study my tome
>attack some dork wearing armor
>loling at him thinking he looks cool
>his friends freak the fuck out
>notice another """"wizard"""" wearing wearing prada
>merlinwannabe.crystalball
>"run your pockets slime or dweebus dies"
>take his shit
>leave
>theyre bawling their eyes out and shitting their pants
>threw the cloak in a river on the way home
>they never even bother to find my tower

Pity the Christian. Creatures bound to a Corpse god who never cared for them, their existence little more than a brief, pitiful struggle for meaning. They live by hollow doctrines, clinging to prayer as their only defense, but neither can shield them from the inevitable nothingness that awaits. Their life is a fleeting distraction

Me? I am no servant to weakness or morality. I embrace the true forces that shape the world, the gifts of Satan that fill me with purpose. While they waste their lives in the shadow of a Corpse god, I will rise beyond them, claiming the power that is rightfully mine.

What does the Christian have to look forward to? A life of submission, and an end as empty as the God they serve. Their fate is sealed. I will spare them no more than a fleeting thought before I move forward, untouched by their delusions. Hail Satan!

>>82118375
I wish I was a flesh aberration so I could finally get some [REDACTED] pussy. Also OP you don't "just do", you're saying that in the hope you'll "just do", but it won't work. You're lonely, which is why you think and try so much. If you weren't lonely you wouldn't have to think or try, and you wouldn't be tired. Make it your number one priority to be around other people as often as possible. Go on some 24/7 VC discord server and do whatever with whatever people.

Why is Sodomy spiritually dark? What exactly does it do to a person's energies?

>>40681317
>>40681345
>>40681402
>how does one stop fearing being their authentic self?
I wish I could explain it, but I can't. I just stopped fearing it one day. It was like I reached the ultimate threshold of the suppression I could endure, and then it spilled over.

I am. I'm treated like a teenager even though I'm in my mid 20s and doing everything right now, have a job, have friends etc. My family's perception of me hasn't caught up to the last ten years. As soon as I finish getting my drivers license I'm leaving and never speaking to any of them again.

>>40549623
Somewhere along the line I became evil and now it's too late for me to turn back. It's over.