>>40766551
>>40766636
>>40766647
(2/2)
Having met peeps with BPD before I find that the fear of being hated seems to be very common, yeah.. I'm afraid the workbook will be much more useful than I in that regard but I can tell you what it is like from the other side of the conversation, if you want. I am not sure if what I am about to say will be good advice but, overall, my lived experiences suggest that almost nobody will ever actually hate you. I am not prone to anger but when I get upset I flare up for a timespan of minutes before factory resetting. I usually don't even remember after a bit. From the outside it can be very scary with that fear of being hated, but my inner world is actually very simple in that regard, I am extremely reactive. I wouldn't voice anger towards people I hate. I wouldn't spend time with them at all, ever, if I could help it.
>>40770780
>>40766891
I would advise you to try, just to get into the groove, a strict almost 0 deficit diet. Compute your TDEE and, for a week, try to count calories such that you meet your target with a 250kcal deficit or so. Drink lots, and try to go to bed early. I understand that binging makes this hard, meal prep might help since it makes you eat defined portions but it depends on your specific living circumstances and your willingness to do spreadsheet autism and cooking. We also have ED resources, including some workbooks and things specifically related to binge and purge cycles.

Back again, slowly beginning to catch up. Tired tonight, still on vacation this week but at home, you can expect more activity starting tomorrow!
>>40685827
You're a sweetheart, Shinjinon. Thank you!
>It's a strange skill to have.
A lovely one in my book. And yes, the inner critic we all got makes us hate verbalizing positive traits about ourselves but it is, just like the inner critic itself, an integral part of meaningfully engaging with feedback, positive feedback specifically.
As for sexual stuff, I get it. It can have a lot of baggage, and like you said you had experiences which where people outright violated your boundaries on multiple levels. That in and of itself always makes things INCREDIBLY hard.
>I want to feel warm and safe about what I do
>so I think I have to practice doing things softer.
Oh 100%, it might be best to take things low and slow with tons of aftercare and cuddles.
>>40686348
>There's posts from up 4 or 5 previous threads I didn't reply to in time.
Alright, do you need help locating the threads? Of course it's gonna be a bit of work finding your posts but I am sure you can quickly find them by scrolling. The archives which display the posts that are replied to so following will be comparably straightforward.
https://www.archived.moe/lgbt/thread/40648685
The OPs link to recent expired threads so it's easy to have the recent 5 open with shift-clicking. If you want I can try to find your posts I replied to and >>link them here,that might take a bit of time though!
>Thank you for the link, I appreciate having some resources on this kind of thing.
It's my pleasure.
>>40688797
If you want I can try and offer some accountability, do you post here often, Anon?
>>40690104
Alrighty, let's start at the beginning, can you try and give a list of things that need doing. I think a back and forth would be good where I try and help you build a dependency graph for things. So I will start responding more quickly come Friday.

>>40342074
(1/2)
Still a student, good. How is your friend circle, do you think the remaining time lends itself to maybe getting to know a few more people to keep in contact with post grad?
>I wish people were more forgiving.
>It's hard to know if I'm the issue, others, or it's simply not meant to be.
It is never "not meant to be" in my limited experience. There are too many people almost exactly in our shoes for this to be possible. It doesn't mean it is easy.. sadly.
>Circumstances and mindset.
The mindset aspects you experience will, most likely, stop being an issue when you are exposed to people enough. All these "not enough" thoughts cannot survive in the face of a contradicting reality. There is, however, also another thought. Take those qualities you named. Pretty, cool, stylish.. and genuinely reflect upon when the last time was you decided against being someone's friend because they were lacking in any such regard. Flip the script, as I often say. Now circumstance is the tough one.
>My parents, they're good people, but are sometimes emotionally stunted.
This is also usually not the kind of thing parents are good for.
>Friends have their own shit to deal with, or are simply not close enough for them to really care.
Okay, this is essential: yes they have their own shit to deal with. But everyone will, always, forever. You got to accept that. And you got to accept that, if everyone were to wait for the right moment like this, which as established never occurs, nobody could lean on anyone. And.. people need to be needed. It is a harrowing experience to not have anyone that relies on you, I find. Sure some people can live without that but they will let you know.
>I sometimes lend a listening ear to their woes, but I just get the feeling the same grace would not be returned to me.
You deny yourself there. You can frame it as something on top of grace: People need to be needed. Be their fulfillment.

>>40281912
Yeah, I miss my biflag too!
Spiraling sometimes happens, yeah.. I am glad you weathered the storm. The difficulties many of us are facing are heavy, yeah. At the same time, it makes me glad that, in the face of how powerlessness we often are, we can at least be there for one another like this.
It's definitely worth trying out other therapists to see if you click! But you also make a great point about advocating for yourself. As for the kindness.. Hm, I do you feel you have emotional support?
>I'm kind of thinking of it in terms of energy; what ideas about my future are energizing in the present?
perfect! And your list looks good, too!

>>40282123
>kind of hard for me to tell recuperation/backsliding
It is a tricky thing but I suppose the difference comes down to preventing the break to become an indefinite state.
>I still feel like I'm craving something.
As for the feelings.. you trying to articulate them, name them, trying to explore their purpose or function can and will help. But yes it IS hard.
>cool...
I know it sucks, but it is better to know it can happen than to feel broken and alone right? You aren't broken. Human hardware kinda sucks, is all.
>Or you share stuff externally with other people?
That part. I express my emotions outwardly and work through them with others.
>feels like a lost cause, but I'll keep trying for something like that I guess
If it doesn't work well for you, don't worry too much. It is one approach among many, I could really stand to make a wider array of recommendations, come to think of it.
>I've really liked Heidi Priebe lately
Never heard of her!
>it's closely aligned with a lot of the cptsd & toxic shame stuff on this general
I dug a little and found this to add to the resouces: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y47iJrbO2ug.
The draft for her entry looks like this right now https://sntry.cc/3e7f202071, anything you think I should add to the examples that you might rec in particular?