>>40469628
I'm 25 and I'll have to switch to medicaid once I turn 26. I've been considering top surgery as a cope and still presenting as female, but I learned that medicaid in my state doesn't cover top surgery unless you've been on T for at least six months. I feel like it's over before I even started. Now I feel like I have to rush and attempt to conceal any effort while on my parent's insurance before it's too late. I'm also terrified of anesthesia because I went through anesthesia awareness and while top surgery would make a massive positive impact in my life I've also been terrified of being put under again.
Transitioning and going on HRT isn't an option for me because I'm not accepted. I tried coming out repeatedly between 11-14 because I wanted to go on blockers and unfortunately puberty fucked me up so much that I feel any effort to modify my hormones is pointless.
I just wish that I could go to sleep and never wak up again. I don't know why I had to be cursed with such a shitty family.