>>82166306
i don't even consume entertainment though, not anymore at least. there are no video games that interest me. there are no movies that interest me. there is no music that interests me. most of my days coming back from work i just sit or pace in my appartment trying to figure out what to do with my life. i was able to force myself to try to learn stuff, but as you've said yourself it's forced. maybe i truly don't care about acquiring skills. so then i don't care about learning how to make games. i don't care about learning how to draw. i don't care about learning how to make music. do i not care about anything at all? am i truly bankrupt of passion that badly? what the fuck is the point of living if i can neither be a consumer nor a creator? i fucking hate the fact i have nothing inside of me to drive me to do shit, and the only fuel that i have to live is determined by other people. i feel like a slave to other people's desires. i hate living.
