there has never been a point in my life where I didn't hate my stupid mother

unfortunately I live with her so I can't just ghost her yet. but I try to talk to her as little as I possibly can

Do you sometimes get intrusive thoughts like that someone is gonna break into your house at night and kill your whole family? I can have a perfectly good day and then I'll go home when I commute back from college and think "what if" I find my whole family lying dead on the floor in a pool of blood. I get kinda panicky when that happens. Otherwise my mind is really sound and calm I wouldn't consider myself mentally ill but these things really bug me. Anyone else with similar patterns?

>>212629351
thanks anon. I will pray for good relations between our countries in the future

what's the meaning of life? I wish I had something to die for. this is such a clowns world how does anyone wake up in the morning energized. why are the people around me so full of vitality ready to talk, do things and manipulate their environment to their will.
Will. why do they have will. why do i have nothing. I am nothing. I am a different species.