I often feel guilty raising this issue, as it seems like a personal problem that shouldn’t weigh so heavily. I (bi) and my partner (pan) have been together for nearly a year, with our anniversary approaching. We care deeply for each other, but both feel dissatisfied with our sex life. Early in the relationship, we discussed our sexual interests to ensure compatibility. We aligned on most things, except for one key difference.
I’ve identified as non-monogamous since age 14 and was clear from the start about wanting to engage in sexual activities with others, with my partner’s consent. My partner wasn’t comfortable with random hookups (nor am I), but expressed enthusiasm for group experiences like threesomes or foursomes. We agreed to explore this after 2-3 months, with my partner taking the lead in finding compatible individuals or couples, which seemed feasible given the attention we both receive.
Three months passed, then six, then nine—nothing happened. When I bring it up, my partner responds vaguely, suggesting we wait longer. This ongoing delay is creating tension, as we both acknowledge our sex life feels stale, yet my partner hesitates to move forward with something previously exciting to them.
This issue alone probably wouldn’t end the relationship, but knowing this situation at the start might have changed our path.
I’m unsure if this is the right place to share, but I hope some have faced similar challenges. (dont murder me, I used ai to reduce the character count).
ENM Problems (Bi/Pan couple) Need advice...
