>>82276034
>I think you are overthinking
i tend to do that a lot...
>And they won't tell you to fuck off either
they have with a person i know personally. perhaps he wasn't as honest with them as he is with me, but all they did was diagnose him with chronic anxiety and gave him xanax. then sent him back to work. needless to say that didn't help at all, plus he had to wait 6 months just to be given that "diagnosis". i really don't know if it's even worth going through the effort of mentally forcing myself to say to a stranger i want to kms if all im gonna get is a "take these drugs bye"
>they weren't worth be worth your time anyways
i'd agree but my time is worth nothing at the present.
>to your wellbeing and career its you above else
sure but i dont have a career at all, i cant be picky with what im offered. i can't help but worry cause i might just get kicked out of the house or be sent back to a factory soon enough and i WILL kill myself before i work another day in a factory.
>I think that the doc would be a good idea
i wouldn't be able to tell them anything. i don't trust therapists or psychologists. they don't want to help you. they couldn't care less about my problems they only care because of they money i give them or it's because it's their job. it makes me feel pathetic to think im so fucked up in the head that all i can do is whine to some random person who couldn't care less if i died tomorrow.
>i don't see why it couldn't get better either way
how? i dont get it really. you're not the only one that says they're confident things will get better for me but i genuinely do not see any way out. nothing that will stop my self loathing and such. maybe im lying to everyone and i make things seem better than what they are because i dont want them to worry. i dont know

>>82267590
sorry to hear that anon. i understand if you don't feel like talking about them, but what kind of nightmares are they? what happens in them?
>the amount of disassociation
same. it's like there's only 2 extremes and nothing in-between. do you have mood swings too?
>>82267679
it does though. there's rules set up by society that force us to behave in certain ways, do certain things, live in certain places. no one is truly free. unless "realizing life has no rules" means killing yourself in which case i agree that would make one free.
>>82267753
>but we all know it won't go any further
we don't, we can only expect things to go a certain way in order to be more prepared for the outcome
>My 'tism and incel insecurity is too strong.
yknow, it could always be that it's their insecurities and mental issues too
>still nothing yet
i really don't understand why people do that, does it really take so much effort to answer to a text? jeez. sure maybe they're busy but there's no way you dont have 10 seconds free in 10 hours or so
>I welcome death when it comes
it cannot come soon enough.

>>82114379
its going to be okay anon, this too shall pass
one way or another

>>81952990
keep your love on a short leash and dont give it away easily, or the only thing that you'll get is hurt

>>81865561
and here i was about to say yes too
>>81865638
>I bet most see how heavy things can get and just try to cope
i don't doubt that a lot of people are aware of how cruel life is but what i dont get is how they manage to not care. how do they keep coping all the time, knowing that their lives don't matter, working until they die for nothing. they seem insane to me even though i might be the one labelled insane by everyone else.

>>81719536
i also feel that way quite often, mood swings are not an uncommon thing for me. but you might just be having manic episodes rather than being bipolar. im not a doctor but i think bipolar is more than just feeling great and then awful an hour later

>>81619582
reincarnation is what i believe will happen. i will turn into a chicken or something after i die and honestly i cant wait