Thread 712666339

Looks like a brainless kids game. FUCK Miyamoto. DKC is never coming back.

its fucking donkey kong you loser lmao, its always been a kids game

>>712666494
Play DKC2 skibidi zoomtard

>>712666339 (OP)
>for kids now
lol

Fuck the OP. Post your favorite song from the show.
https://youtu.be/k5-X58Tw6RQ?si=989G-NHipjFY75n7

>>712666339 (OP)
All new Nintendo games have been made much easier and brain dead. Tears of a kingdom is also a kids game.

>>712666628
nigger just because it was harder doesn't mean it wasn't made for kids.
Adults in 95 were mostly playing doom clones one the computer, not Donkey Kong

>>712668396
>nigger just because it was harder doesn't mean it wasn't made for kids.
Low key it does. No kid could beat ocarina of time by themselves thusly was not made for kids.

>>712669236
NIGGER I BEAT OOT BY MYSELF YOU FUCKING RETARD

>>712666339 (OP)
holy fucking shit you have been at this for TWO MONTHS
TAKE
YOUR
MEDS

>>712669320
Youre a grown ass man, sir.

>>712669465
I will actually rape and murder you

>>712669447
>he thinks posting for two months is a feat
Oooooo sweet child o mine

>>712666339 (OP)
Don't forget that DK now has a brat sidekick like it's a Saturday morning cartoon. DK has gotten too kidified now and is completely ruined.

Looks like Mario Odyssey - Lots of walking around and picking up pointless moons.

>>712669591
is that Paulina's kid?

>>712666339 (OP)
Yuji Naka once again lightyears ahead of nintendo

>>712666339 (OP)
>>712669591
After the total mindbreak that the Switch 2's success has been causing, I genuinely can't tell bait from actual retardation anymore.

gamer cred isn't real

>>712669465
I beat those games when I was like 12 on the virtual console, bruh....

>>712666339 (OP)
>now

>>712666339 (OP)
>>712669591
I refuse to believe you guys are serious in anyway. Are you really enjoying these fake arguments that much?

>>712666628
The one where you play as monkeys going to war against pirate crocodiles or a different one

>>712669793
With a guide.

>>712666339 (OP)
Please do not curse Shigeru Miyamoto.
Thank You.

>>712666339 (OP)
Easiest bait yet, and it works every single time.

>>712669591
Why are you so mean?
Especially about Suzanne, why do you have a problem with Suzanne?

>>712669689
Yes.
According to Nate the Hate, her name is Suzanne.

>>712670252
Dunno who the hell is Suzanne. I just hate stupid annoying brats.

>>712670252
>>712670343
>exactly 60 seconds apart
Not subtle

I think this game is going to be super shallow like everything Nintendo does when it comes to sandboxes.
However, Nintendo is programming a Roblox clone, and according to the guys who tested the game, it's pretty advanced.
So I don't know if Nintendo is working up the courage to be more daring, or if that's an unusual project where they decided to do something complex for a change.

>>712669236
>low key
>oot is for adults
the absolute state of zoomers, vidrel, its a mentally taxing puzzle for them.

>>712670562
Suzanne is the supposed name of the Mini-Pauline character.

>>712670825
It is not.

>>712670876
I know we don't know for sure until Nintendo formally reveals her, but I do think it's an appropriate name for her for the time being.

>>712671037
It is not.

>>712666339 (OP)
>going downhill
>tie is going against the wind instead of with it
Nintendo is so washed now

>>712669992
That guide being my older brother, Cope.

>>712671061
Alright then, what would you name her?

>>712671282
Well it's not actually in the game so I probably wouldn't talk about it at all

>>712669503
I'd pay to see that!

>>712666339 (OP)
Nintendo cultists have lost the plot. Every Nintendo character and franchise is for children. If you are over the age of 12 and still playing this stuff, you are not well. And to seethe this obsessively over it is a bridge even further than that.

>>712669697
ngl i'd fuck balan so hard that his tummy would grow bigger than his hat from how much cum i deposited in his asshole.

>>712671362
Why does Nintendo of Korea have key art of Mini-Pauline?
Why is Nintendo of America keeping so much under wraps?

>>712666494
>>712666629
>>712668396
>>712669320
>>712669793
>>712669717
>>712669815
>>712669882
>>712670162
>>712671367
If it's always been for kids then now it is for BABIES.
I managed to beat Pokemon Emerald when I was 5 years old, I know that it was a kids' game. But the latest generations are on a whole different level.
>visibly younger protagonists
>a more cartoony art style
>having to attend school (SV and Ash in the SM anime)
>letting the adults handle the situation (Leon in SWSH)
>goody two-shoes new protagonist in the anime
>harmless joke """"""evil"""""" teams as villains
>having to wear safety gear while riding pokemon or riding a bike
>etc...

>>712671156
You wouldnt have needed your older bro with tears of a kingdom

>>712670685
>puzzle is just pushing a cube through a rectangular corridor
30 years later and nothing has changed. What a shit franchise.

>>712666628
You mean that kids game made for 5 year olds?
Yes I've played it. On the SNES anf GBA.
You faggots lost.
Got raped.
Develop a personality that isn't hating some old jap.

>>712666339 (OP)
really don't understand this desaturated look nintendo shoves into all their games now

>>712669591
SOVL

>>712671494
It won't be in the game. It was scrapped

>>712671798
Why are you saying that?
Do you have insider information?
Or do just not want Mini-Pauline to be in the game?

>>712671576
I didn't need him for master quest and SS hero mode either(couldn't get the hylian shield tho), and that was like 2 years after I played OOT.

>>712671535
Trying too hard with the bait now.

>>712669236
I beat OoT when I was 5, completely on my own.
You are just arse at video games.
Beat Master Quest on GC when I was 8 or 9.
Fucking God damn anon, stop being shit.
I know snoys don't play vidya but fucking try.

>>712671892
>Or do just not want
Fuck off ESL

>>712669591
>DK now has a brat sidekick
So diddy kong?
Dixie kong?
Kiddy Kong?
Nigger fucker.

>>712672078
Please pardon me forgetting the word "you" when typing my response.
Do you just not want Mini-Pauline to be in the game?

>>712671905
>>712672067
can you admit OOT is harder than TOK?
>I beat OoT when I was 5, completely on my own.
No dice big vro

>>712671535
he just threw the whole rod in

>>712666628
You mean the game you played when you were fucking 10?

>>712666339 (OP)
this game actually looks more fun than any other DK game
scratches a red faction itch

>>712671578
>pretending you werent stuck on that puzzle for 20 minutes.
respond without sounding mad.

>>712666339 (OP)
>now

>>712672316
Why would I admit something that's false? TotK is far harder and more complex than OoT.
I'm sorry you have an IQ of 30 anon, but most people beat OoT between the ages of 3-9.
Maybe you'll get to that level one day, I believe in ya buddy.

>>712672135
>Kiddy Kong
Was never at any point Donkey Kong's sidekick

>>712666339 (OP)
>now
It's fucking Donkey Kong, you retard. When was it not for kids?

>>712666339 (OP)
gotta pander to idiots they are the only ones still buying shit after 2020

>>712666339 (OP)
Bevause you were a 30 y/o salary man when DK64 came out, let alone Country on snes

>>712672316
Marginally harder.
Beating a trielemental gleeok took me more tries than I'm willing to admit.
Back then, the most complicated enemy was Dark Link, until you stop trying to jump attack him and start flanking him.

>>712666339 (OP)
looking forward to it.
>t. married 38 y.o 2 kids, get fucked virgin "adults"

>>712672801
>totk
>more complex
I mean yeah I'm sure at least one player suffered brain damage between 1998 and 2023 and found it more complex.

>>712666628
>Play DKC2 skibidi zoomtard
NTA but I did play DKC2... When I was a kid.

>>712672889
>UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ACTKUALLIIIII
>EVEN DOU HE WAZ A SIDEKICK IN DKC
>ET WAZNT DKS SIDE KICK!!!
>ET DIFFURT
>because DK was too busy being an incompetent retard by getting captured. Twice. Plus Diddy got captured as well. Twice.
Banana is in your hoard cock sucker.
Amuse me.

>>712666339 (OP)
>now

>>712671535
>beat Pokemon Emerald when I was 5 years old
So that would make you what? 25, at least? Play fucking Octopath Traveler or whatever, and leave the kiddie crap behind

I remember the blood and gore in DKC

So when are we getting more info on this game? It comes out next month and we really only have a singilar trailer and the press event gameplay to go off of.

>>712666628
>DKC fans turned into Cranky
lel

>>712673786
direct for it will likely be two weeks prior.
a general nintendo direct in a week or so.

>>712673786
There's nothing left to show.

>>712674010
Where did you hear this?

>>712674031
We still need to hear about Mini-Pauline.

>>712674010
>a general nintendo direct in a week or so.
HAHAHAHAHA

>>712666339 (OP)
>cartoon monkey game is for kids
No shit?

>>712674128
Not real

>>712666339 (OP)
looks like mario odyssey it it was tears of the kingdom

>>712666339 (OP)
>now
Are you fucking retarded?

>>712674083
someone in my discord

Didn't realize Donkey Kong Country on the SNES was rated M for mature.

>>712669320
not possible. i used no strategy guides and because of that have been stuck since early 2024. i barely figured out the goron shit and the fish in front of whale thing

>>712674010
Next direct is September at the earliest.

>>712674227
She is real.
Please stop denying reality.

I think it looks cool but I'm worried it has no depth

>>712674402
It will have lots of depth, just like Super Mario Sunshine.

>OMG IS THAT A SLIGHTLY DARK IMPLICATION IN MY KIDDY GAME???
>THIS COULD TOTALLY TRAUMATIZE SKIBIDI RIZZLERS RIGHT SISTERS???
That's you, that's how you sound.
Faggot.

>>712674402
Of course it has depth, the whole game is underground

>>712674128
Why are you reply to bait?

>>712674083
Typical Nintendo affair. Major games get a focused direct 2-3 weeks before release.
Nintendo usual goes a summer direct.
Switch2 launch is irrelevant as there was one within 2 weeks of the Switch launching.

712674129
Is this a humilation fetish thing? Do you get off on being always wrong?
Or are you this retarded?

>>712674129
>>712674389
Why are you guys acting like a June direct is out of the question?

>>712674647
All signs point to there not being one.

>>712674695
And what signs would those be?

>>712666339 (OP)
>Video game is a toy for children
Yes. Now that you realize this, it's time to stop playing video games for forever.

>>712674735
his shit smeared pants.

>>712674839
Let him speak anon. Maybe he has some interesting points.

>>712666339 (OP)
>Looks like a brainless kids game.
It's a Nintendo game dumbfuck, they're all made to be easily picked up by a five year old and enjoyed.

all those DEEPEST LORE threads tricked actual retards into thinking these were more than kids games and now we're paying the price for it

>>712674924
I very severely doubt it given how /v/ has been for the last week.
Plus this being a seethe ragebait thread.
He'll just cope about 'muh switch2 launch' ignoring we got a direct soon after the Switch launch then point to splatoon raiders as if a random announcement never lead into a direct.

>>712675028
We will get very deep lore in Donkey Kong Bananza.

>>712675056
I'm not convinced we'll get a direct this month, but I've also seen nothing that shows that it won't happen either.

The main thing is we have a november gap with no big holiday title, and many games needing release dates such as Metroid Prime 4. We know for a fact they've got more up their sleeve, but it's just a matter of when they show it. Since June tends to be the time when they lay out their plans for the rest of the year and more often than not there's a June direct, in that way it seems likely. But on the other hand I'm not really banking on it as I don't think there's a ton of urgency when they have one big title per month ready to go for the next couple of months.

>>712675028
>and now we're paying the price for it
but you don't even buy games

>>712666339 (OP)
>now

>>712675501
This is the third time you've said this.

I think I'm going to replay Mario Odyssey on the Switch 2. Haven't played it since release.

>>712675501
Yeah, now. DKC was grim and appealed to every demographic. Now, they want to cater exclusively to children under ten.

>>712675806
We haven't seen the rest of the game.

>>712666339 (OP)
Name ONE Donkey Kong game rated higher than E for Everyone

>>712675727
It looks great now on Switch 2 in 4K

>>712675806
>DKC was grim
bro it had a literal children's cartoon show

>>712666339 (OP)
The reason you played your first Donkey Kong game is the same — it was a game for kids, and you were a kid.
Now you’ve grown up and you’re mad that games are still for kids? lol

>>712675971
ENTER the CREATOR of the E10+ rating

>>712676205
this is GRIM
this is DARK
this lore is DEEP
so freaking scary!!

>>712676205
That's still an E rating

>>712676261
E for Ecstacy maybe

>>712676257
Donkey Kong had some edge, zoomer. Back then, you weren't even a sperm.

I want to hug loline so much bros... why can't she be real already.

Who here is ready for Mini-Pauline?

>>712675356
Prime4 will be novemberwith Kirby Air Riders in december.
Cap this post.
That aside Nintendo will want momentum going so we'll get a direct to briefly review BK B, splatoon raiders, etc before release. Show off 3rd parties and indies.
We'll get a direct before june ends.

712675806
where do you niggers come from? seriously.

>>712676205
This shit is so fucking good.

>>712676412
Suzanne will be real.

>>712676323
Doubtful

>>712676443
>This shit is so fucking good.
I played Jungle Beat last month and was shocked how much fun I had with the game. I need to see them re-release the Bongos for the Gamecube Switch 2 app.

>>712666339 (OP)
Thread theme:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npuuTBlEb1U

>>712671724
I wonder if she will keep the rock form for gameplay sections or if they will actually commit to having an actual little girl hanging on his back

>>712676405
Hey unc tell me another scary story about how grimdark Donkey Kong for the Super Nintendo was? Like the time King K. Rool got a zinger bite on his you know what

>>712676205
Why did he do it?

>>712676443
They're not making Metroid Prime the big holiday title when Metroid Prime games rarely can push a million or two on a good day. Let's be real, it doesn't have mass appeal no matter how polished it is or how hard they shill it. Yes it will sell a few millions, but it's not going to sell the tens of millions that Mario, Zelda, and Pokemon games make. Be realistic. Metroid is great, but it's not gonna be a system seller especially when it's already coming out on the Switch 1.

>>712666339 (OP)
>captcha: xDKxD

>>712666339 (OP)
Sir, you should be 18 to be allowed to post on 4chan.
Everyone has figured out that Nintendo makes games for children by then.

>>712676786
We'll have to wait and see.

>>712676570
A rhythm platformer/beat 'em up is a very solid idea.
It's great fun once you find that rhythm.

>>712676947
okay retard bro.
See you in november.

>>712677484
>not a single argument
Metroid does not sell systems, period. I think it's a great series, but it's never been a big seller, especially not in Japan. Metroid Dread is the best selling Metroid game of all time at just 3M sales.

When you look at the best selling games on the Switch...yeah that's not saying a lot. Splatoon Raiders is going to sell more than Metroid Prime 4 and nobody is pretending like that will be the big holiday title.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_best-selling_Nintendo_Switch_video_games

>>712676109
to be fair in the 1980s and somewhat into the 1990s there were quite a few properties that really shouldn't have been adapted into children shows, just donkey kong isn't one of those.

hell Beetlejuice got a childrens show, a dark comedy movie about dying and the afterlife that was originally planned to have an undead middle eastern man wanting to rape lydia instead of what we got where he just wanted to marry her.

>>712677693
Metroid doesn't sell as good because it's not Super Mario.

Anons are just messing around for attention right? I refuse to believe the silly cartoon animal could genuinely drive people angry like that.

>>712677762
So then why do Pikmin, Kirby, Fire Emblem, Splatoon, Animal Crossing etc all outsell Metroid?

>>712677968
Nothing sells more than Mario.

>>712677963
You underestimate how mentally ill people are over Nintendo right now.

>>712677963
The DKschizo has been doing this since the Switch 2 teaser. He's actually that mentally ill.

>>712678023
Alright but all of those franchises regularly outsell Metroid.

The entire point of this "debate" is that Metroid is illfit to be the big holiday title when Metroid is consistently one of the worst performing Nintendo IPs.

It's getting released on Switch 1 as well. It's not going to sell Switch 2 systems, it's not going to be slated as the big holiday title.

>>712677693
And raider is already esrb rated likely putting it at august or september (most likely september because Drag & Drift is 'summer release' thus august).
Nintendo has clearly been making a push to get Metroid into people's mind/attention since Federation Force.
Making it a strong single player release for the holidays between fagemon in october and kirby air riders in december does that.
Now.
When it releases between november10th and the 24th you can come back, tongue my arse. and suck my balls.
dear li'l retard.

>>712678097
I don't think DKschizo is actually mad about DK's new look.

>>712668396
>>712669320
autist is having a filtered melty, many such cases

>>712677968
Pikmin was a 2-3 mil seller before the Switch are you drunk?
Same for Kirby and Fire Emblem. ffs FE still is. As is Xenoblade.
>really trying to compare Metroid to AC
Be more disengenuous please.

>>712678210
You realize Nintendo is in this to try and make money right?

The holiday sales slot isn't about putting games into people's minds or bringing attention to something unknown. It's about selling a big game that's going to make them a lot of money. That was never going to be Metroid. Metroid Prime remastered sold 1M copies. Dread sold 3M. At this point, Xenoblade series on Switch has outperformed Metroid and it's a 'niche' rpg, but nobody would ever act like that's going to be the big system seller because it's not.

A Mario Maker game I could see, a 3D Mario I could see. A Zelda remake I could see. An Animal Crossing I could see. But not Metroid Prime 4. I don't doubt it will release soon, but this is more than just spreading awareness. It's about releasing a big, must-buy app to sell CONSOLES for the holidays. They want to sell more Switch 2's. Metroid Prime 4 is not gonna sell mroe Switch 2's when it's on the Switch 1 and was never gonna be a big seller to begin with.

>>712666628
Just because the retards who now make media treat kids as braindead doesn't mean DKC2 wasn't for kids.

>>712678431
I'm thinking, the biggest open-world sandbox 3D Mario.
I think a good title would be Super Mario Forever, a game that ties all of the previous games together.

>>712678365
Three Houses outsold Dread and Prime remastered
Pikmin 4 outsold Dread and Prime remastered
Kirby regularly outsells both those games despite releasing a new game every eyar practically.
And I didn't even mention Xenoblade, while no individual title outsold Dread (3M) or Prime remastered (1M) but yes when you look at XB2 (2.7M), came close, and then Xenoblade 1 and 3 both sold aroudn 1.8M, which means the series has sold over 6M on the console. And it's a "niche" RPG that's only been around for the past 10 years or so.

Why isn't Metroid comparable to Animal Crossing? Animal Crossing is also relatively new when compared to Metroid, having been around since the late 64 era into the Gamecube, and starting off modestly but growing more and more each year. Metroid has not seen that growth.

Once again, if we're talking from a business perspective, Metroid Prime 4 was never going to be a huge financial success. It's more something that's being made for the diehard fans. Not to sell consoles, not to sell a bunch of money. It's just there to say "hey, we still care about Metroid and we said we'd release this game when we revealed it 8 years ago and now we're going to finally deliver". That's all. It's great that it's being released, but let's set our expecations realistically. It might sell maybe 5M overall, and that would be a great success, but Splatoon sold that much on the Wii U, and it was a new IP. Just saying.

>>712678624
You never want to attach "Forever" to a game title.

>>712678431
>At this point, Xenoblade series on Switch has outperformed Metroid
>4 games sell better than 2
>both in small niche genres
even fucking xenoblade2 is '''only''' at 3mil or so.
Both series carry equal weight.
Nintendo treats them about the same in regards to marketing and budget.
The holidays are going to have fagemon and another kart racer game to be the uber must buy titles. Plus back log of MKW, DK B, Splatoon Raiders.
You can NOT just stuff your holidays up with multiplayer shit. You NEED solid single player title along with such.
Again you can deny reality all you want but come back in november anon. People will already be debating a Switch2 upgrade due to other releases along with the prior points.

>>712678624
that sounds like a romhack, having every level feels like it would be pretty bloated.

how about do a randomized playlist based on agreed upon difficulty that way every time you start a new game you don't know what stages you will get.

a "run" is 20-30 stages where you could get any stage from old mario games, it would be easier to implement just the 2d ones but would be hilarious if you could randomly get a 3d stage too.

i figure this would help with replay value since the variety would make it easier to start new runs over and over.

>>712678807
You can if you nail the game perfectly.

dkc series was bad
i was there
owned the pre-release vhs

levels were as stupid as mario ones with random jump wheels suspending in mid air for no reason
jumping down random instant death pits to find "secrets" was also stupid
no positive merit

The open world sandbox meme destroyed Nintendo

>>712678778
Holy fuck you are actually fucking retarded and can't read.
Damn anon how sad.
>None of these series preformers well above Metroid UNTIL Switch releases
>HURF DERF THESE SWITCH RELEASES DID BETTERERER DURFFFFFFF
Nevermind for Kirby it took Forgotten Land to hit 7mil, Star Allies is like 3ish mil.
And post proof the FE 3H went over 3 mil, even 4mil.
>nigger twat is really trying to compare a house builder casual arse life sim, to the more niche Metrovania genre
You really need to actually stop typing anon.
You are so beyond ignorant of how the industry operates.
>b...but s..splatoon...!
Yes, TPS have far more appeal and market reach than Metrovanias do.
Genres DO matter.
Dumb twat.
Never mind that IP age/length has very little to do with sales for 90% of series. It's about genre, mechanics, aesthetic.

>>712666339 (OP)
>brainless kids game
And? DK64 was a mindless kids collect-a-thon game

>>712672067
>I beat OoT when I was 5, completely on my own.
no you didn't lmao. go interact with some 5 year olds and you'll understand you just have a fucked memory

>>712666628
Zoomers love DKC

>>712671724
This is cool where did you even find this video?

>>712666339 (OP)
Man, the insecurity levels are off the charts today. Timmy and his little school friends must have found the board

#notmydonkeykong

>>712679865
#MyDonkeyKong

>>712679546
it's just the two shitbags running their seethe campaign.

>>712679376
I liked it since reveal./
Don't lump me in with the retards.

>>712679412
I'm sorry you are clinically retarded anon.
But I beat the game when I was 5. Same for MM.
I was filtered by DK64 DK arcade for a long time though, but eventually went back and cleared it when I was 14 or so
You'll get there one day too.

>>712679991
Nothing.

>>712666339 (OP)
It looks boring honestly.

Only redeeming thing is the challenge rooms it'll have, like the Cap Doors from Mario Odyssey

This computer generated random world shit is getting old. We need to go back to linear level design with tight platforming and quality world design

>>712680056
No we don't.

>>712666339 (OP)
>now

>>712666339 (OP)
>now

>>712680332
Enough out of you please.
This thread is moving too slow.

>>712680332
Learn to cope.

Why does DK with overalls makes me so horny ?

>>712680445
>>712671156
Learn to arrest, the same thing happened when your brother was kneeled by chauvin.

>DK was never for kids and he doesn't need a sidekick
It's kind of funny how forced the DK hate is. He's untouchable and that makes autists seethe.

>>712680535
...Huh?

>>712680535
Please, seek clinical help.

>>712680535
>it's a /pol/ fits in poorly episode

>>712680004
>I'm sorry you are clinically retarded anon.
>But I beat the game when I was 5. Same for MM.
>I was filtered by DK64 DK arcade for a long time though, but eventually went back and cleared it when I was 14 or so
>You'll get there one day too.
you beat a 2003 game when you were 8 and a 1998 one when you were 5. Truly you were a prodigy. Too bad you can't fucking count in 2005 though

Someone is running a smear campaign against Donkey Kong and Mini-Pauline.

>>712680839
Someone has self respect and taste.

>>712680839
it's just two autists
one starts lying about the series while the other cries wokey kong
they're very easy to spot

>>712680918
You can't have self respect if you're here.

>>712680930
Oh really?
Because I thought it was just one autist.

>>712666917
It's boring

This was my first owned and finished Nintendo game and console.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=agg2K8K2qc0

>>712670685
Islam symbol? I just know this shit Is as occultic as mario 64

>>712672135
>Nigger fucker
I'm not familiar with this character, were they introduced in DK Conga? I didn't play that game.

>>712681149
just the 1.0 version, they did a revision to remove all that stuff, the mirror shield also had that symbol and there was some chanting that was removed from a dungeon.

this wasn't some modern thing either, it was back during the n64 when they did these changes.

I can't believe they actually killed him. I am heartbroken.

>>712666628
i played it when i was a kid you retarded zoomer

I am sending an email to Nintendo jp asking for a redesign.

I am sending an email to Nintendo jp asking for a loli Pauline spin-off.

>>712666628
I did. I got 102% as a 10 year old kid. It's a game for kids.

>>712681783
Super (Suzanne/Mini-Pauline) open-world, here we go!

>>712672624
I can rotate an apple in my head so it was no problem for me.

>>712669591
>brat sidekick
.....And that's a bad thing because?

>>712666339 (OP)
>>712677963
Personally it bugs me because it looks like a mindless collectathon with destructible environments (red faction did this 20 years ago). But Nintendo will get away with it as "innovation" because it's not the normal bing bing wahoo formula but with bing bing wahoo characters (that will be $80 please)

I'm not asking for high art, I'm literally playing mario wonder rn, i just think the gameplay loop should remain interesting after 20 mins, no matter how simple or complex it is

Wake up, retard.
All video games are for children.

>REEE X IS FOR KIDS
this is an anime site. your favorite pastime is watching vietnamese cartoons for 10 year olds in brazil

>>712672067
no you didn't

>>712666339 (OP)
>now

>>712682586
Donkey Kong Bananza will be high art.

>>712666339 (OP)
It's always been for kids. This one just looks like it's aimed exclusively at brainrotted tiktoktard variety.

>>712666339 (OP)
pokemon is the biggest success story of maintained media relevance across time, they did it by appealing to children and never deviating from this. The playbook for Nintendo is already set, accept the fact that you're too old for nintendo now.

>>712671535
Do you miss Kimishima yet?

>>712683769
Frye won
Tomboys won

>>712683769
Don't you smear juniper.

>>712676205
Enter the last game to have the KREMLINGS as the main antagonists

Unless Bananza changes that

>>712666628
I did, when I was 11

>>712684084
It will.

>>712678778
>Three Houses outsold Dread and Prime remastered

Because it had a head start dumb disingenuous fuck

>>712681131
Sexy! Now this is how you flirt on 4chan

>>712682292
Brats are annoying and ruin everything they are shoehorned into. She will be clinging unto DK the entire time the whole game so it will be unplayable.

>>712684536
How does that make it unplayable?

>>712675672
I remember this playing on my TV on Christmas day and my mom saying "I thought this game was for kids!"

>>712684681
She will just keep screeching the entire time she is onscreen and will keep getting forced cutscenes every 5 minutes just to shove her more into hour faces and annoy us more. Brat characters ruin everything and Bananza is already ruined.

>>712685064
But Suzanne is Shigeru Miyamoto's favorite new character.
That's why he said in an interview that he is looking forward to Donkey Kong Bananza.

>>712684726
girl, same!

>modern nintendo game is brainless
it's not 1990 anymore they're not making clunky weird games to see what works anymore

>>712685192
>Miyamoto is a cunnycel
As expected of a jii-san

>>712684084
I miss the small DK spin-offs.

>>712685704
No he is not.

>>712685802
Grimdark just like I remember it! Such nostalgia!

Gonna be real here, had rare stayed around for the entirety of the GameCube and made a dk game for it, the way dk64 turned out has me convinced it would’ve been the dk equivalent of sonic 06

mfw tendies say dk was always goofy

>>712684174
>>712681947
>>712681629
>>712678607
>>712673370
>>712672481
Just because you experience something as a kid it doesn't mean it was for kids. I saw horror movies as kids but it doesn't mean that it was primarily intended as such.

>>712666339 (OP)
Voxel based environments are the future

>>712683769
Frye a cute and you a fag.

>>712686084
Video games are toys.

>>712670252
>>712670343
Notice how you always say this but never give the actual source.

>>712686347
Not all toys are for adults.

>>712669568
It would only be a feat in the degree of disappointment it would incur if your mother heard about this

>>712686347
Not all toys are for kids.

>>712669898
yeah the hard as balls one. you'll notice the distinct lack of cal arts meme faces and dabbing.

>>712686424
Correct, Donkey Kong is a good example.

>>712686394
I'm trying to look for it in Famiboards and ResetEra.
Nate the Hate's Suzanne information was posted here on April 9th.

"So NateDrake did confirm the Pauline leak is true but the girl is not Pauline. Her name is Suzanne and she's Pauline's daughter from New Donk City who's knack of looking for an adventure got her wound up over on this new island."

>>712686495
people don't stop playing with toys just because they grew up, the toys just get more expensive.

>>712686394
There isn't one.

>>712686613

Man I wish I had a thousand bucks...

>>712666339 (OP)
The vibe is the series will probably never recover. New DK is corny.

His new voice in Mario Kart is bad. It's like the Scooby complaints except actually valid. DK made the BROOHOO sounds only half the time before. Now it's actually 100% of the time.

>>712686749
my problem is i *do* but keep talking myself out of it, i could probably buy at least 4 but if i sold all my retro games and my old cars i could probably afford 10 or more, if i bought older stuff like World Cup Soccer by Williams or something that is $5k vs these $10 units i could easily get twice as many though maintenance would be higher at first.

>>712683769
Kishima was literally a hands-off guy
>do nothing, Become a high tier Nintendo President.

>>712666628
I did...As a kid.

The fuck kinda argument is this shit.

>>712686927

Lucky. Just buy it then, its Godzilla.

OP is right and tendies zoomoids can't handle it, pretty funny

>>712685064
I don't trust people who dislike kids.

>>712666628
I literally played it as a kid. Also Country Returns and Tropical Freeze are better.

>>712669591
>the rock will be fully voice acted

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwQm3Glpxn4

>>712687024
That guy dislikes our new Bing-Bing Wahoo spinoff mascot Suzanne in particular.

>>712687016
the thing is there is a Godzilla Premium about 30 minutes from me i can play for $2 a play, i adore this game, especially the premium version but it feels weird spending used car money on a game, especially when i could just spend the money on more boring shit like home improvements.

course home improvements stalled out because i been having horrible luck with contractors, got scammed on sub-par concrete work a few years ago i dropped $10,700 on.

>>712686554
Just like Micky Mouse, Sonic, and 100 other characters. DK is breaking model here in a rare occurrence to emphasize the fact he's literally about to be blown up. nu-DK breaks model every time he takes a step. oh I walked 5 steps time for more silly meme faces.. so whacky.

>>712687072
Full english VA was the death all Charm in Nintendo games.
They hire shitty anime dub actors too. it's fucking terrible.

>>712687072
The voice really does sound like a Suzanne trapped in a rock.

Dear, Zoomer faggot.

Before forming an opining play DKC 1, 2, 3 and 64.

>>712666339 (OP)
>Looks like a brainless kids game
Honestly, said the same shit on another thread the other day, literally the only thing they've showed so far is monke grab rock and monke smash things, the only thing I would call actual gameplay would be the couple old school dk levels in 2d, but I don't think this game will be worth a damn.

>>712687072
Is that AI artifacts in that Voice?

>>712687445
I'm assuming it's a voice filter.

>>712666628
I played that when I was 7, God I want to go back

>>712686084
>ages 6+

>>712687442
It reminds me of Starfox Zero, it wasn't concise in conveying why I will enjoy myself. Is this a modern Miyamoto trait?

>>712687442
They are holding back something...

What if there is a feature, where you control Suzanne by herself, or some parts of levels need just Suzanne, like, crawling through holes that DK can't fit through?

>>712669236
only reason why it was "harder" is because the kids that grew up with it were not hand held like they are with today's games.

>>712687302
Modern DK is harder.

>>712674354
M for monkey

>>712688214
It is not about being hard.
It is about being FUN.

I know you won't play it anyway.

>>712688463
Zoomies won't get this one

>>712688529
But they are all fun.

>>712666339 (OP)
>Donkey Kong is for kids now
>now

I can't wait for the Suzanne platforming segments.

>>712683769
>>712686997
Interesting to note that Nintendo started really going to shit at the same time Furukawa took charge.

>>712666339 (OP)
It seems to have Odyssey-like game design and I don't like Donkey Kong's redesign. Maybe it won't be pure dogshit but I'm not hopeful. Probably will leave me with the same unsatisfied empty feeling as Odyssey.

>>712669236
>No kid could beat ocarina of time by themselves
I did, was like 6 years old. It took some time tho.

>>712671724
>those fucking textures
i love still having PS3 graphics almost 20 fucking years later

>>712686084
It has cartoon monkeys in it you fucking idiot

>>712666628
Shoo Cranky Kong

>>712688707
Well yeah he's just a mcbusinessman.
Iwata for all his faults was a game developer through and through.

>>712688529
>fun
>dk64
>beaver bother
No.

>>712688597
The gameboy ports are funner thou.

>>712666339 (OP)
>>712666628
>>712669591

This is an abstract type of bait.

>>712689038
He's mad and furious because Mini-Pauline is going to save the Switch 2.

>>712687686
>>712688862
Let's see you guys fight crocodiles without weapons in harsh environments if you think it's so juvenile-like.

>>712683838
incredible how easily you can fix a female character design with the right bangs

I just don't like Wokey Kong

>>712680678
make me.

>>712692560
Glad to know that you really do want someone to help you :)

>>712666628
based

>>712666628
cringe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PVnKZr0x3o

I love that we had a time when Nintendo would let other companies do crazy shit with their IP.

>>712694290
>I love that we had a time when Nintendo would let other companies do crazy shit with their IP.
Still here dumb dumb.
Mario+rabbids.
Cadence of Hyrule.

>>712666339 (OP)
>>712666917

>Looks like a brainless kids game
This is the route that a lot of Nintendo IPs are taking, sadly. And it's a weird route to take the pricing and design of the Switch seems like Nintendo's now attempting to aim for a "Disney adult" target demographic.

Zelda, Pikmin, Xenoblade, also lost a lot of their challenge - seems like only Metroid has managed to retained its soul.

>>712666339 (OP)
looks incredibly fun, but i don't like how you're gonna be spamming the sensor button for collectibles and then spam the hell out of other buttons for terraforming the levels

>>712666339 (OP)
>Now

>>712669236
No, it was lowkey a kids game, or to be more precise, a "for everyone" game back in the day.

Modern day kids and companies are just total fucking pussies.

>>712694441
They also let WayForward touch Advance Wars

>>712688682
What do you want to see in them?

>>712676964
How the fuck does this shit look so bad and so low detail compared to games literally running on an engine made for WiiU.
look this is 3D world and it has higher fidelity models, textures, shading and actual fur FX.

>>712681149
>mario 64
you mean the whole "m64 is a jew ritual to indoctrinate you"? it's the other way around, it's the equivalent of not taking your shoes off on purpose when entering a japanese home
it's literally the equivalent of asscreed shadows, a literal desecration of kike rituals and making mario (you) go through a mockery of rituals that only high ranking zionists should be able to go through, which is why only after that point the west went from largely indifferent to nintendo to actively wanting them dead

All vidya are for children.
You have been playing rated R games as a little shit too, haven’t you?
See

>>712666339 (OP)
only reason I want the Switch 2

>>712666917
It's because they're not making games for Asian and White nerdy kids anymore, they're trying to appeal to a wide jogger and jeet demographic. They have to dumb down the games considerably so even a small fraction of them can play them.

>>712697919
Bing-Bing Wahoo mechanics like the triple-jump, wall jump, basically everything except punching bricks and ? blocks, because there are no bricks and ? blocks in Donkey Kong Bananza.

>>712699105
I collect collectathons even some of the shit ones like Vexx.
but what is appealing about this one?
-where your bannana count is not shown
-there is no platforming
-there is no movement depth
-and you can just punch through and climb over everything.

Japan has fallen.

>>712699415
long live China

>>712669725
then how do people keep losing it?

>>712699323
>shit ones
>like Vexx.
made an enemy for life, fuck boy

>>712689470
bro I have a First Funky Fighter cabinet in my bedroom you're not built like me

>>712692659
Lol didn't ask :^)

>>712699198
real

>>712699198
fake

Bro....let them cook

>>712694914
Omg it's the trans rights sister!

>>712666339 (OP)
So is it open world or just large levels like Mario Odyssey?

>>712702576
It's large levels like Mario Odyssey.

>>712666339 (OP)
But it has nothing to do with DKC. It's Donkey Kong Bananza. There is no country. Much like how Donkey Kong 64 was also just diet Banjo Kazooie and lacked the word country in its title. God, DK64 fucking blows.

>>712703501
>But it has nothing to do with DKC.

Retard raresnoy, the trailer shows a clip of a segment that is the first level of DKC with 1-to-1 forest canopy, and the demo clearly says at the start that it takes place off the coast of DK Island.

>>712698428
because that footage was probably captured from a shitty capture card or low res video, retard

>>712666339 (OP)
Are you gonna seethe like this over every single Switch 2 game?

>>712704368
You can't blame obvious low poly and shit textures on "low res video" dum dum.

>>712704452
Yes.

>>712704473
Look how smooth Marios shadow is
and look how pixelated TroonKs shadow is even from far away.

>>712704452
He is going to lose his mind once Mini-Pauline is revealed Bing-Bing Wahoo-ing everywhere.
He is going to be sooooooo mad.

>>712666628
I literally played it when I was ten when it came out, what kind of fucking argument is that.
And it was fucking amazing.

>>712670685
OOT was kind of dark, eerie an scary sometimes. I wish Nintendo made another one like this but at least we still got MM and TP, so is not like it was a one and done.

Super Mario Odyssey 2: Donkey Kong Bananza

Are you ready to watch /v/troons fart blood all over again?

>>712704473
isn't most of the environment destructible? That's probably why it looks low poly like that. Tons of more texture and stuff underneath too.

>>712669882
thread is obviously made in jest but /v/ermins can't help themselves.

>>712704730
I am ready to watch that one person do that, over Mini-Pauline.

>>712704473
Man, this really exposed how fucking rough and half-assed DK looks, especially so as near-launch release title for a new console.

It's not even the overall dated clunkiness of the models, shadows, lighting and environments either; even the art style is kind of ass.

>>712705215
There are plenty of great modern games that are low-poly.

>>712705301
And they still manage to look better than DK too.
DK just looks and comes off as half-assed and minimum-effort, but that applies to a lot of modern Nintendo games these days. Too many of their games utilize the same tacky-looking, low-res, low -texture, plastic art direction.

>>712705421
The story and narrative will carry the game.

>>712671489
it's okay to be gay let's rejoice with the goys

>>712704730
>requires the absolute minimum of possible brain capacity for creativity to be fun
>nuneo/v/ shits itself uncontrollably before release
It'll be BotW/TotK all over again.