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>Horse
:|
>Horse, Japan
:O
What is this recent psy-op about a horse girl game out of nowhere?
>>714649680 (OP)That game is 10 years old
It's been popular forever.
>gooks already pissy they lost to japan (again) despite their astroturfing
love to see it
>>714649813Blue Archive dominates the hearts of japanese fans
>>714649680 (OP)whats wrong with Japan?
how many actual race horses are female?
>>714649942Game started with a bunch of trillion, but after getting cucked out of the right of a super popular Triple Crown stallion, they started adding in a bunch of mares, now there are a bunch of thirsty mares in the game.
>>714649813Sure thing, blud. Hope the yakuzas didn't catch you wanking to your imagination.
ive spent 16 hours in the past day on this game
>>714649889>>714650097more like the artists' wallets thanks to the bribes
>>714649889>>714650097How does this translate to game revenue?
Oh right, it doesn't, astroturfing doesn't translate to sales.
>>714650036So those are men?
>UMMM DID YOU KNOW THEY'RE REAL HORSES
>UMMM ACKSHUALLY IN JAPAN HORSE RACING IS A VERY RESPECTED SPORT
>OH MY GLORB DID YOU SEE ITS HECKIN URARARAS BIRTHDAY TODAY IRL?! (shes based on a real horse)
ok buddy. just say you play it for the cute girls and dopamine. no need to posture like this we all see through it
>>714649889>>714650097I sure hope you get nice ingame goods for defending the game on anonymous imageboards.
>>714649680 (OP)I've already liked horses, them now being cute anime girls is a nice cherry on top. Ponies are better though.
>>714650274All of them are girls, the stallions were reincarnated into horse girls. The stallions also love (You) and want (You) to be their stud. The mares also want the same.
>>714650289btw reminder this is against steam ToS regarding reviews
>>714649942Trying to look this up. I'm getting 2 different answers. Males dominate 2/3rd to females but that is slowly changing where it's getting closer to a 50% split. Female and Male horses have about the advantages and disadvantages you'd expect. Females have more stamina and focus and not prone to anger. Males are stronger, better reaction time and aren't easily distracted.
how much money do you have to spend on the game to make it bearable? like are we talking price of a monthly battlepass levels, or chinks milking you dry gacha?
>>714649942It was a stallion dominated sport, but after the 2000s came the rise of monster mares who can BTFO even stallions on the same playing field.
>>714650374ZAMN the yakuza approved of THIS?!
>>714650623They generally turn a blindeye if artists don't do degenerate shits like futa, NTR or guro. Most of the policing are self-policing by artists themselves or zealot fans.
>>714650541PVP the sky's the limit. PVE you can do everything without spending any money.
The game's more of a time sink than a money sink.
>>714650438The fuck is Gaben gonna do about it?
BmnMESL
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>>714650573What's with females turning so big in this past decade?
the milf on the left needs a hard mating press
>>714650458Yeah, but male horses have extra weight with that dong.
>>714651239They retracted their dongs most of the time and there was only one case where a stallion won a race fully erected because he just wanted to fuck a mare competing in the race.
>>714649680 (OP)When are they adding Seabiscuit and Secretariat?
>>714651495When the ranchers stop laughing the slant eyes out of their farms.
>>714649680 (OP)I watched season 1. It was eh. Too much drama for me. I tried season 2 but dropped it at the first episode where it was just re-hashing the same shit with the leg injury just with a different horse.
hq720
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>>714651495Hopefully never. Gaijin horses are not allowed.
>>714651761Isn't there like four or five American horses in the game right now?
>>714651495when they add Potoooooooo
>>714650036>futa on femalehot
urara
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GANBATTE HARU-CHAN
YOU CAN WIN A RACE!!
>>714651420>only one case where a stallion won a race fully erected because he just wanted to fuck a mare competing in the race.based.
I hope he scored.
What a lad.
>>714651420Is there video footage of this?
>>714649680 (OP)I find this heartwarming desu. This is what I like about those alt history media with anime girls where fans would try everything to reverse the misfortune of some things, like in azur lane, making ships that historically sank or blew up in battle into successful combatants, because the anime girl attached to it makes the thing more endearing to players.
>>714651612wat.
im ready to fap please explain.
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>>714651761Fuck off cunt, when's eternally based as fuck best boi Bucephalus
>>714651495Not going to happen if the copyright holders are absolute Jews about it, and hoard it like the Musicians of the 80's were.
>>714651996https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4nZxSiHsjo
The video is about a 1997 race so quality is rather bad.
He's also the brother of Fine Motion.
>>714649680 (OP)>Horse>:|There's a Oversea horse with real name in the game though
https://umamusume.fandom.com/wiki/Montjeu
>>714652274hnnnnnnnnnng what an alpha...
>>714649680 (OP)HOLY
FUCKING
SHIT
IS THAT
XITTER MAN
WOW WE MADE $25
BETTER ADVERTISE SO HE MAKES EVEN MORE MONEY
LMAO
IM SO POOOOOOR
>>714649680 (OP)>>714649889>>714650097I accept your admission that BA is astro-turfed.
>>714649680 (OP)What is this "Horse" creature you spoke of?
>>714650573>monster maresGolshi fears this btw
>>714652621>GolshiGoldship*
>>714650036>its gay horse porn disguised as a yuri academy animewild idea I guess
>>714649813they didnt put pedo archive on steam Japan for whatever retarded reason
>>714652781This. I wanted to play it but its' region blocked here
I watched Northernlion play and then did a deep dive and researched a few of the horses from the game.
Haru Uraara is indeed soulful, and she literally won at life. Most of the other champions had miserable injuries, died fast or injured themselves so bad in races that they had to be euthanized after. Haru Urara was beloved by all as an eternal loser and she's 29 years old now and still kicking and eating carrots and grass.
There's also some other fun stories, like Tokai Teio. Despite being cursed to suffer constant injuries, he doesn't stop trying to win and is still a big threat. There's also Gold Ship, who is inconsistent because he's crazy and stubborn, so sometimes he wins and sometimes he just costs everyone a bunch of money. Or Rice Shower, the horse known as the assassin. He never won anything big consistently but he was famous for spoiling other more popular horses out of nowhere.
Anyways, I'll never play this game cause gacha is for suckers.
>>714652274>When Lara Croft is at the finish line
>>714649813Blue Archive has been available in English for years, this is the first time Uma Musume has had an English version
>>714652982That did not stop BAfags from thinking the steam version was about to crush Umamusume at the minimum.
>>714652781>>714652864Seems like a lie so gooks can cope about their astroturfed failure.
>>714652919>Rice Showersounds like a JAV watersports video
file
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>>714653041post hand, SEA shitskin
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>>714652781Nip are so mad BA threads on 2chan practically disappeared despite having practically daily threads.
>>714652764kek now I remember the original trailer made it look like yurifags' dream game and trannies spamming "gay horse! gay horse!" everywhere
>>714650097>1432 for vtubersThat's wild since I've literally never seen a good vtuber doujin.
>>714653052No, I literally can't play the game here.
>>714653180Meh, BA lewds completely BTFO anything horse shit have.
>>714653272Meanwhile JP gets a seperate JP only uma musume I think? The global version is region locked.
A shame. I guess, I'll play something else.
>>7146498135 minute game vs 3 hour game
retard
>>714653292>horse shitmore like dog shit, if you know what I mean
>>714649680 (OP)>psy-opDid you forget how to enjoy things?
Be honest.
Horse connoisseur question: Is Deep Impact represented?
>>714649680 (OP)Do they show the girls pooping on the track?
>>714652781Different server (it's ahead of global by around 6 months)
Different publisher
I remember back then a lot of people didn't even know BA was originally Korean, because the JP version came out first.
>>714653378post steam page
they should all be built like chun li, rather than twigs.
>>714653468No, Deep Impact was supposed to be included but it seems they were never able to get the rights
>>714653468No, but...
>Deep Impact makes it in>His anime girl has a robotic spineWould be kino
>>714653535Lol no. This is all I have to show. Steam store is really fucky during sales.
>>714653709meant the jp version's steam page retard
>>714653782https://store.steampowered.com/app/3564400/_/
>>714653660Man that sucks, cool design too.
>>714649680 (OP)stop using language you dont understand normie
How the FUCK do I combat late start
It keeps happening even if I'm at 500 wit
>>714649680 (OP)>Horse:O
>Horse, Japan:O
fixed
Horses are cool
>>714654052Late start doesn't matter for non-runners.
i learned a lot about gold ship because of this game, seems like a cool guy.
>>714652436>horses don't exist in the Uma Musume world>their place in human history was completely replaced by Umaswhat a weird world.
>has SIRED over 70 (SEVENTY) children last year
kek WE LOVE YOU GOAT
>>714654330Did they have stocky farming horse girls too
>>714654330I wonder what the Ferrari logo look like in this world.
https://youtu.be/ydd-Sz4iMjM?si=gWl6XipCiOU9zuPW
>>714654489Horses are just fantasy creatures like elves and good rng
>>714649680 (OP)I'm sorry but I feel kinda out of the loop here, but wasn't this an anime some years back? Is this a game adaptation or something?
>>714654614The game got an actual English release like 4 years after the game launched in JP.
>>714654614Game that got an anime adapation. It's only coming to steam and in english for the first time ever.
>>714654614It's very complicated. The short version is that the anime was supposed to promote the game, but the game had issues with publishing, so the anime ended up airing like a year or two before the game had finally released in Japan (full region lock). Since then it's grown massively, received more games and anime, and now there's finally a Global version.
>>714654596>>714654489there is one random implication of a real horse in the world
a fucking in universe VR game, where one of the umas is confused and describes a creature with "the body of a cow and the head of an alpaca".
>>714653126Actually, from what I heard 2chan started to just outright ban non-JP gacha discussion on their main board because of all the shitposting it was causing, imagine the pajeets who do drive-bys everywhere on /vg/ but instead of shitskins they're netouyos
>>714649813>Actually got more reviewsUh horsebros...should we be worried?
FUN FACT!
Mares much prefer having sex with human men over stallions!
>>714654882Dang, if only 4chan also got actual moderation.
>>714650374The idea of training your JK wife, make her win tons of races and the get married and have little umas is really boner inducing in my heart
>thread has nothing to do with BA
>immediate steam chart image trying to start shit
Holy fucking obsessed
>>714654889BA is telling people to review the game for rewards in-game. This is, by the way, really against Steam's TOS. But hey, since when have gooks listened to the rules?
>>714654684>>714654689>>714654729Oh... Is it any good, or is it just another mediocrity that streamers need to hype for their content slop?
>>714654889They bribed them to review the game
>>714650289
>>714654954this simply can not be factual considering the size difference between human """"males"""" and stallions.
>>714654330So does that mean in ancient times there were war Umas that pulled chariots and soldiers that rode them into battle?
>>714650097>yakuzas personally hunting coomers downBASED BASED BASED
>>714654330How was warfare in the past?
>>714650036Uh... so I'm gay.
>>714654889>Even by giving out literal in-game bribes so people leave positive reviews, the game barely reaches uma musume's review numbers.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>>714654967>Falling for the horses' trap.
>>714654990It's fun for a couple of days.
>>714655010Human men last much longer, and most of the erogenous zone is near the base of the vagina anyway. Contrary to what porn has taught you, women don't generally enjoy having their cervix slammed for 20 seconds and then being done, and that goes for horses too.
>>714655025>brave king Richard the Lionheart riding home on his uma after the crusades
>horse looks nothing like the anime girl
You won't fuck the Umas, you'll find another male Uma for her to breed with.
>>714649680 (OP)This is incorrect considering that MLP in the 2010's was more popular than Musume could ever hope to be
Anyone else feel pity for those playing the game? Cause those Japs could have already told them that the game is super fun at first but rapidly turns into being the most miserable experience ever once people realized it's the most pay to win shit ever made.
An Uma...
An Uma...
My kingdom for an Uma...
>>714654684stop making me look at this faggot
>>714650036Gold Ship's foot long futa horse cock
>>714655183Most people will get bored in a week anyway, let them have a bit of fun as F2Pers trying to make their horse win. Obviously in the long term it's just all about your support cards, but at the start you can have fun just trying to hit the milestones with garbage.
>>714654990It's a raising sim. In practice it's just going between menus and setting up things. You choose training options, race tactics, read/listen to events and that's the game.
It's not the Gran Turismo of horseracing, it's about cute girls.
Tried the game, for a solid 20 hours.
At minimum that dailies are what one hour? A career fast is like 40 minutes. Then there's going to be more shit in the future I'm guessing.
Tell me all this grinding shit is not needed just for turbo whales and pvp niggers, I can just come back for every campaign and be fine
>>714655185What did he mean by this?
Uma Lane
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>>714655025we do not know, the farthest back the series has gone afaik is that the "Three Uma Godesses" are all based on the three Arabian Stallions from the 17th century, that all real life race horses can be traced back to.
also, here's an Uma Lane instead of bike lane in the anime, these have a lot of special rights.
It's the only way they can make horse racing interesting for the youths
>>71465531918th* not 17th
>>714655185I think my horse has autism...
>>714655319>Uma Lane instead of bike laneCute!
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>>714655157Male Umas don't exist, canonically every Uma is female and is implied to mate with a Human to have the next generation of Umas.
consider
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>>714655010The sensitive parts of a mare's vagina are all toward the entrance; close enough for a man's penis to stimulate. A stallion's big penis is actually more likely to hurt mares than pleasure them. More importantly, men last much longer than stallions, which greatly increasing the likelihood of the mares experiencing an orgasm when having sex with a man. Also, any horse breeder will tell you that it can be very difficult to get a mare in the mood to breed with a stallion. As a result, they will sometimes stimulate the mares themselves with a bit of foreplay, which the mares take absolutely no issue with.
>>714649680 (OP)I had no idea the girls were based on actual existing horses. That might explain some of why the yakuza got so touchy about porn.
>>714655319>crash into uma>die
>>714655275>Tell me all this grinding shit is not needed just for turbo whales and pvp niggers, I can just come back for every campaign and be fineSure, but how are you going to do the campaign for the girls you like if not by stockpiling at least 30k carrots for a guaranteed pull? (And if their banner is already done, well good luck.)
PVPing and minmaxing helps with that. Whales get sent to a different circle of hell anyway, where they have to fight each other, so nobody escapes the pain and grind.
>>714649680 (OP)You DID watch her movie, right?
>>714655183As someone who's been burned by cygames several times in the past I'm hoping for some schadenfreude as I watch all these people trying the game
>>714654330I guess some people died happier, being torn apart by horse-girls who were tied to their limbs instead of real horses.
So are Umas euthanized if they fall during a race too?
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How in the world are these umas so compatible with human men...
Browsing through some old akg thread and lets see what we have here
"I'm all ears"
>>714649813Why are brown "people" like this?
>>714655614Eventually God realized human women are the failure of creation, so he gave human men the replacement.
>>714655575Thats nice. Anime pilgrimage can be pretty wholesome. Like when japanese tourists went to europe to visit tank musuems because of girls und panzer
>>714655614>no male Umas means Human Male-Female Uma relationships are the main way to survive>Umas are stronger and faster than human women>Umas are more loving and friendly than human womenit's just logical.
>>714655551No, they just become baby umas factory
>>714655551you buy her from the owner or she get's glued just like in real life
>>714655550guess knights fought on the shoulders of equally armored Umas.
>>714655752If this was a boy I would be okay with it
>>714655712I just fear that some asshat will ruin it for everyone like with some other anime pilgrimage places. It will happen rather than if.
>>714655820Ancient Mandragora.. they have been delusional for some time
>>714655205How much milk do baby umas need? That's a lot of milk...
the bald bitch left the bazaar to boost this dogshit fucking horrible gacha slop dogshit
>>714655787So then the question is, were the Umas massive fucking units or were the requirements to be a knight in the Umaverse that you had to be small and light enough for the Uma to carry you properly into battle.
>>714655871>"Why yes my nationalism IS my religion">"The Ursus people worship Ursus itself and the Emperor."Fucking baZed
>>714649813I've been playing both. both are good. Both take about a half hour to an hour to play each day.
Why does everything have to be a this vs that thing? It's stupid.
Will the umas think me unfaithful if I give free hugs?
>>714649680 (OP)it really has nothing to do with horses and horse racing itself. it's just that troonies have fried dopamine receptors. gacha is popular exclusively with troonies because they are sexually repressed incels and have anxiety attacks whenever they see a male character, so they can only play games where every character is a girl. this game in particular is popular with them because it's a pretty novel idea, since most gacha games are nearly identical in both presentation and gameplay. the female gives the troon players validation and the novelty of the game itself keeps it engaging for them while they're dilating.
keep on cloppin' troonies!
>>714655890Could it have been that just as there are no jockeys now, there were no riders back then either and that Umas themselves were the knights instead
>>714649680 (OP)actually she's very clearly doing ":)"
>>714649813Gacha is gacha, it's all gay.
>>714655614>How in the world are these umas so compatible with human men...Because real life mares enjoy having sex with human men much more so than with stallions.
>>714655968it's funny to think about a manlet with a lance being carried into battle by an Uma tho.
>>714655937Oh... it was the kally wally maid in Ursus period
>>714655968So it's just a fancier version of strapping a knife on a hamsters back?
>>714656031I see the less savourable things were present from the start
>>714650036I like the top middle mare, the middle right mare and the bottom left stallion. They look the most high-energy to me, absolute winners. I don't know anything about horses, just going by the vibe.
>>714656112And finally some Jessica to wash the taste out of your mouth.
Hope you enjoyed the storytime.
>>714650036>Fine Motion doesn't follow this rule>then you find out it does...
>>714655264It's been almost 2 weeks and it just keeps rising.
>they begged and cried so hard to get BA on steam
>all its done is expose the game as shit no one plays and is just astroturfed like crazy
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>>714656360according to who and what metric? your brain?
>>714656171We call her Mambo here.
>>714656205She's still classified as a mare.
>>714656410That's shay you're replying to, he's one of /vg/'s biggest schizos and one of the people responsible for destroying /gbfg/. He's been spamming gachawar threads on /v/ and shitting up several generals for days now, don't reply to him.
>>714656410see
>>714649813>BA is so dead they have to break steam TOS and literally bribe people to play the game and give positive reviews
>dude what if battleships were anime girls
>dude what if horses were anime girls
>dude what if guns were anime girls
>dude what if androids were anime girls
>>714656478take your meds schizo
kslop losing to japan is always a good thing
>>714656515The fact that Gaben didn't do anything mean it's legal to do so. It's their loss Cykagames have nothing to bribe their players with. That's why Japan will always be behind the time and get BTFO by Koreans and Chinese.
>>714656547When will edge-fags finally get some love, and they turn knives and machetes into anime girls too? I think there is a real market slice in that and short swords.
Horses were more important for the development of humanity's progress than dogs were. There I said it.
Also something i forgot about strange Uma Musume lore; Ireland is a monarchy, and the "Irish Royal Family" are all Umas.
>>714656547KINO
>>714649813Is this a fair comparison when Uma got to release a few days early and steal blue archives thunder while they both got held up in approval limbo, pretty sure Blue Archive was meant to come out first
>>714656547What if tanks were anime girls?
>>714656590>randomly seething about granblue how much are you going to cry when this Ktrash gets thrown off steam?
Because it's a cool Japanese thing that wouldn't exist in ZOGland.
>>714656648oh you're absolutely right, but dogs are much better companions for day to day life.
>>714656478I wonder what happene-
>>714656703Uma got released at the same time as Persona 5 X, which dealt a huge hit to its peak early until Uma slowly picks up the pace like an end closer.
To think this used to be an april fools joke. You still not allowed to draw porn of them, right?
>>714651118Unironically girls marrying tall guys on mass, since tall fathers make tall girls while short moms make short guys
And since all the breeders are tall men and goblin females all the children are short boys and tall girls
>>714656459a mare that functionally can't get pregnant
she should have been turned into mutton or whatever horse meat is called the moment it was found
>>714656627edge weapons don't have cool denominations like guns or warships, or cute name like horses, its just the generic name of the type of blade and thats it, its boring
>>714656547>dude what if androids were anime girlsI am listening. Especially if it's an Action game. Please go with it Japan.
>>714656879there are almost 11,5k works on r34, I don't think it's as bad as you people think it is.
>>714655183>>714655546how bad is it on JP servers? What scummy tricks does cygames pull?
>>714652274Oh... I expected it to be bigger. Do race horses take some steroids that makes their unmentionables smaller?
>>714656547Sadly no "what if x were anime girls (male)" yet...
>>714656887that doesn't sound right, there would be nothing but short boys and tall girls in no time, hell, tall people wouldn't exist today if it was that simple
>>714657080Do sword boys count?
>>714656627Search Touken Ranbu. It's for Fujo/Umejoshi though.
>>714657039>how bad is it on JP servers?Fairly average JP gacha experience I'd say.
>What scummy tricks does cygames pull?Almost halved the daily income and 1,5x faster banners on Global. If it wasn't for the freebies and powercreep it's unironically much more advised to play on JP.
>>714657237Shazbot, my million gachabuck idea is already over before it began.
>>714657069anon horse penis aren't as big as in 2d porn, and the real ones that are big are from bigger species that aren't fit for racing
uuuhh think of it as race horses being more like otterbuild kpop stars rather than some giant pornstar negro, kind of
>>714656981Bro, your Touken Ranbu and superchuuni names of legendary samurai swords?
>>714656547I'm still waiting on 'what if planes were anime girls' but I imagine it'd be hard for the japs or chinks to convince Lockheed or Northrop to make their jet fighters cute girls with big boobs
>>714654412is she REALLY that popular as breeding material??
I want to make an Uma cry...
>>714657137deserved, they were Gehenna apologists
>>714657351Isn't that close to what Strike Witches is? Not to that extent but wasn't that the purpose or something?
>>714657115Only a few of them count
>>714657380>sheGoldship is a stallion
So was his grandpa, Mejiro McQueen
urara
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>>714657326Thank you for the explanation, I think I would like my horses from farming anime than from racing environment then... racing horses are disappointing.
>>714650097I love azur lane girls but holy shit that's a fucking collapse. Kancolle pulling ahead of them, touhou too when I had heard people thinking Touhou was dying to gacha.
>>714657069no thats just from hard domestication. When you control the means of reproduction, the reproductive organs themselves get smaller (usually). Most successful ones are perma virgins anyways stuck mounting plastic tubes.
>>714649680 (OP)Anons have been posting "goofy ahhh horse" threads for like 5 years dude.
>>714651761They eventually added the French horse Montjeu
>>714657434Close but not quite. Strike Witches is more based on pilots rather than planes.
>>714657434They are named after WW2 pilot aces, it's not as direct as making them based on the planes.
>>714657498Japs will never let foreign trash outsell their own. BA is only up because they paid to win. the trade off is that none of those artists even play the game
>>714651802Taiki Shuttle and El Condor Pasa
>>714657712this is just global, i'm sure there's more on JP
>>714657712All were trained in Japan. There's only Montjeu currently, an Irish bred and French trained horse.
Aren't there some american Umas in the manga?
I remember a nearly 2 meters tall black Uma named Michelle
>>714657573>>714657548Ah, right. Well, there's still hope I guess.
>>714657861They used stand-in names instead of the real names so they don't exactly count.
>>714649680 (OP)> Out of nowhere.> Horse racing is a popular betting format.> Japan just made the smart move of waifu-fagging horses into anime characters to sell to horny whales who are into horse racing.Nothing personal.
>>714657113Here is the fun part!
Short guy and tall girl make tall kids
So it evens out
>>714657792>>714656663>IrishReminder that in this universe IRA means Irish Royal Army
I have never played a gacha game in my life but I do like horse racing. I bet at Del Mar several times a year.
I am going to try this out.
>>714654504https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPNkeRtWicg
>>714657964>who are into horse racing99% of the people playing this game don't give a fuck about actual horse racing with actual horses.
As a cossack i don't know how to feel about this game
You are making me feel weird about my mares
Please post your sideview horses here is a rare one of mine
>>714658138I bet the real number is more like 40% care/been to betting on horses at the races and whatever.
You really don't know how popular gambling has been for Japanese especially since Horse Racing is one of those few major gambling forms that are legal in Japan since gambling restrictions and such? That's why Mahjong is somewhat popular still as well. Asians love gambling, Japanese are no different hence pachinko parlors were successful in the 2010s.
>>714656887>tfw victim of this>mom is petite>dad is canadian lumberjack mixed with medieval blacksmith, with just a sprinkle of viking gods>I am the son with mom genes>for onee-chan mother Nature decided "what if lumberjack, but woman">only imouto lucked outI suffer and feel fucked up by my manlet genes and my onee hates being called godzilla.
>>714653641futa IS better than male
>>714657482real life horses are so based. i wish we still had our own horses instead of cars and 17 quadrillion people on the planet.
>>714649680 (OP)https://youtu.be/6wQlhou9CUQ?list=RD6wQlhou9CUQ
UMA MAYANO TOP GUN TO THE DANGERZONE!!!!
>>714658074Ok that's funny as shit
I hate horses. They smell and shit everywhere.
>>714655025>cavalry didnt exist on horseback>they just probably had fully armored umas with huge fucking impractical weapons like zweihanders cleave through enemy infantry>some probably pulled chariots because they were strong enough to do so while also armored and using lances themselvesumamusume total war when
00
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My lovely mare...
>>714656887>>714658295I have a tall mom and a short dad (they're actually the same height) and somehow came out exactly average. Thankfully I look completely like my mom's Germanic family at least, my brother is a couple inches taller than me but got my dad's med looks and horrific male pattern baldness. (I'm 39 and a norwood 1, brother was probably a 3 by 25 and is a 5 at 35.)
Also I used to know a Canadian girl who was like 6'2", maybe it was your sister lol.
>>714658763why's the guy black?
>>714658650why not just halberds or lances in general or shit like naginata? Makes sense to have those types of 2handers and lance and shield as options for shock troops.
>>714649680 (OP)I started playing the game recently and I barely get the second goal of getting 9000 fans with her but i've only been doing the career with her because she's cute but It's been hard, but in reality she's just shit???
>>714649680 (OP)>shitty overhyped gacha in Japan because they love horses and it's literally supported by Yakuza>years later they release it globally>somehow it's also overrated by westernsThere's definitely some shit going on here. The game is not good and the waifu designs are average as fuck.
>>714658995She historically couldn't win a single race despite running 113 times.
In-game you're supposed to grind godlike legacies.
>>714658995Dude she IS the ultimate shitter. If you want an actual easy mode, go play a run with Bakushin to get a feel of the game first.
>>714655614>>714655693Imagine being a real woman in a universe where umas exist.
>>714659079The game still have plenty of beautiful human women.
>>714658340Sure, tranny. Of course you'd say futa is better.
>>714659163>he doesn't know
>>714659163She is also an Uma.
>>714659236And the director too.
>>714654330What about the Mongols?
>>714649680 (OP)EOPs got their sloppy seconds of gachaslop after half a decade
>>714659379A horde of rapist umas who torn down villages and raped all the men.
>>714653272Move to a real country.
>>714655010Apparently it's true. Think of human caretakers as fancy sex toys compared to just a guy puming and dumping.
Granted i think it's more about using your hands than your penis
>>714653641Me on the bottom left.
>>714650036>Suzuka is a stallion>Air Groove is a mareyou'd think it was the opposite how nearly all yuri art depicts them
>>714651097You know, I used to never really understood the western move trope of " """ugly""" girl takes off her glasses and then suddenly everyone sees her as super hot"
but whenever I see gold ship without her little autism hat on I always have to do a double take like holy shit who is that woman god damn
juice
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>>714655183I've been going nolife on this game these past several days and I'm already getting burnt out. I can't imagine sticking to this game for years. How japs can even endure this daily grind let alone enjoy it is beyond me.
>>714658995Horsebreeding is serious business, someone has to be dead last.
>>714659648At her core she's still the same retarded horse.
>>714655736Is this canon?
>>714659236where's her tail
>>714656547Fate is to blame for this
>>714659916Probably loses her tail during the war. She is based on WW2 era horse.
>>714659939I thought that Fate just introduced cooler/cuter/sexier versions of folklore and historical figures.
>>714657142TWO MORE Special WEEKS!!
>>714660048Only worth it if there are 3-4 rainbows.
>>714655575the fuck? Do japs really act like horses are Gods or celebrity??? It's just a horse. Are Uma Musume fags like MLP fags who obsess over horses sexually?
>>714660162Arguably a racehorse is not "just a horse".
>>714660048You seem to lack the Guts.
>>714657675>Japs will never let foreign trash outsell their own
>>714660162Racehorse are treated like famous pro athlete which they really are.
>>714649680 (OP)>t-t-thing is popular?>GRRAAAHHHH ME NO UNDERSTAND!!!! ME SAY PSYOP!!!!
so how do characters work on this?
as far as I understand I roll an uma and can do the career mode with her, but that has a limit of rounds and after that she gets turned into a veteran that can't be trained more, do I need to roll for the character again if I want to have a veteran with better stats? or what are dupes used on?
>>714660162>It's just a horseThose horses likely have higher status and value than your own existence.
>>714660515You can do as many career run with the same uma as you want as long as your veteran storage allow it.
Dupes are used to uncap the stars of your uma. If your umas are 1 or 2 stars, uncapping to 3 stars will unlock their proper race outfit and unique skill. Uncapping further will give them a slight stats boosts and unique level up, but it's just a cherry on top.
>>714659971>dude what if King Arthur was an anime girl
>>714660515>but that has a limit of rounds and after that she gets turned into a veteran that can't be trained moreYou has a base character you can do a run with. After the run is over, whatever result you got from the character becomes a Veteran that can be used to potentially pass down stats and abilities to later Umas. The base character is always there for you to do new runs with.
>what are dupes used on?To unlock potential of the character, ie: give them higher starting stats. And in the case of 1/2* characters, unlock their unique costume once they get to 3*
this is just mlp for incels
>>714660515you can retire veterans (and you 99% will because some of your runs are just guaranteed to be shit or worse than newer ones)
the gameplay loop is grinding good stats for breeding and eventually turning your wife into a juggernaut
>>714660596>>714660651oh ok its like a limit break thing
what are dupes for after you max one? do they convert to some kind of currency?
>>714660273Uma and FGO are consistently kicking hoyo titles in the nuts though?
>>714660162MLP is gay and have no historical significance or worth
>>714660738Yeah, it can be converted into a currency to buy Star Pieces to limit break other Umas in case you couldn't roll enough dupes
>>714660781Honkai Star Rail still gets top 3 once in a while lile back in april. Also Skirk is topping charts.
The absolutist post said that Japan would never allow a foreign product outsell theirs ever, which isn't true.
>got running style aptitude S spark for not the one I have almost all of my skills for
wat do
>>714650374Still gay though, if I fuck my best friend reincarnated on a 10/10 is still gay
>>714656547no you don't get it, the wiki says Doki Doki Pogostick Office Stationery Suprise!~ has deep lore and i really learned something about the world of office supplies. uwu paperclip-chan ^_^
>>714659852I can't remember if it was on efukt or whatever but I remember a link on /b/ years ago (during the height of the brony/horsefucker adjacency) of some grainy footage of a mare sucking a guy's dick to get him ready. You ever seen that webm of that giraffe and the fence pole? They get into it
>>714660162I imagine it's out of politeness for the farm owners so they don't have to deal with the swarm of unwashed otaku and weebs trying to see the meme horse
>>714656024>>714661160Animals can't consent retards
>>714660162>Do japs really act like horses are Gods or celebrity???img horse wearing deerstalker hat standing in front of paint it smeared on canvas . jpg
>>714656547>>714656713crazy no one has tried Tanks or Plane girls gacha yet
>>714661236Neither can my leg but that doesn't stop Fido
>>714661240That actually makes hella lot of sense.
>>714661308It will probably happen at some point, but I figure it doesn't help that the gacha market is really fucking bloated already, I don't think there are enough military otaku to act as a base if the gacha would come from Japan and wants to actually survive in the market.
>>714650036>Hishi Amazon on female sideAlright, futa uma it is then.
When does he get his anime girl version
>>714661308Anon I've literally posted a tank girl gacha.
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.astrogame.shermange&hl=en
https://steamcommunity.com/app/581130
>>714661556they have to get the license wich I seriously doubt
>>714661236I'm pretty sure if a horse wasn't interested they could just crush your bones.
>>714660162the culture was so popular its insufferable sometimes
back when the game was new some jap neet camp at pixiv reporting artist that draw sexy artwork, even sfw got caught in the crossfire
horse gambling could make nip acting like triggered wumao chinks
>>714660781How the fuck is fgo still even alive?
>>714661236>consent is necessary
>>714661160>You ever seen that webmNo? Care to share with the class?
swxLkF0
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>>714657036>open site>its all ai slopgrim
>>714662049Because Umas are all either mentally challenged or insane
>>714662171>not having AI filtered out alreadyit's on you
So if all the horses are women, how do they make more?
>>714662379With human men, duh.
>>714662379Marrying their trainer.
>>714662049Because the umas are retarded. If physique is all that matters, gorillas would rule the world.
4563673
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>>714662049they just want to race
Why do chinks and gooks get so mad when a japanese thing gets popular on here? 4chan was made in the first place to discuss japanese media not gook shit or chink shit
>>714662467koikatsu is still the best way to fap to umas
>>714651612desu the idea of watching my mare waifu get bred by a hot futa stallion would be based
>>714649680 (OP)>Players doing everything they can>Devs giving her horrible starsShe’s one of the ones you can basically just spam speed on and win though, the person writing this hasn’t actually played the game.
>>714652078Her full name is N>arita T>op R>oad.
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>>714662379Humans, you can see Kitasan Black's father in the anime.
>>714649942>>714650036They are all female, the ones that are based off of male horses have designs that show that off but they are still female regardless.
>>714662601Because it kills their anti-Japan
>JAPAN IS DEAD CHINA AND KOREA WON FUCK JAPANsentiment.
>>714649680 (OP)for me it's OC umas
>>714662847PLEASE tell me that she becomes playable later on
>>714662739true, first try i literally cleared URA with her
>>714662601Game tribalism is old hat especially when games are actively competing with each other like Gachas do. If you played an MMO in the last 20 years it should all feel very familiar.
>>714652121The American Civil War but it's waged by Lee's Traveller vs. Grant's Cincinnati.
>>714657482>>714655575>Haru Urara is 29 years old>The average horse lives for 25 to 30 years
>>714649680 (OP)It's simple, you just slap a cute anime girl on anything it immediately becomes %1000 better. It's like magic. It even works on a fighter plane or a WW2 battleship.
>>714662521>mogs the horses>BA mog anythinglol
Why is this weebshit BA is popular again? Pedophile?
>>714662601Chinls and gooks don't care about 4chan, just like japs. Are the fags here that are obsessed with east asia.
>>714649680 (OP)It's been out in Japan for 4 years now.
It's been hyped in Japan since 2016.
You just got blindsided by it because you live in a bubble that doesn't touch weeb stuff.
I remember seeing it in Japan as far back as in 2016 in Akiba with posters and promo material. The second big push was 2018 when the anime came out, people expected the game to come out but it didn't. Then when the game came out it was a spectacle.
Untitled
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>>714663137BA is one of those cases where its popularity in the cultural sphere is vastly bigger than its popularity among people who play it.
>>714662601SEAbrownoid on /v/ loves to create shitpost thread japan is dead over and over again like a broken bot
/v/ talking about japanese games makes them really mad
Do Umas only run, or are there other sports?
I want Dalera and Saint Boy.
>>714651761I saw the game say one horse girl is from Germany. Cant remember which
What happens to an umas if her leg gets broken in a race? She get taken out to pasture?
>>714663391Sometimes you get events where they play basketball.
>>714649680 (OP)nortubel needs horses
>>714663449In the anime Teio just got hospitalized multiple times and was forcibly withdrawn from races.
No glue factory sadly.
>>714649813well Blue Archive is banned on steam in several countries.
Horse fuckers are not.
>>714663449>What happens to an umas if her leg gets broken in a race? She get taken out to pasture?
>>714663501The BA steam client is banned in Japan of all places, must be related to rights and marketing
>>714663391Only horse racing. Horse gymnasts like them would be kino.
>>714663449their womb is still useful
they become cumdumpster for the trainer
reigners
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Do you think the Umas get sad when they realize that some people are only watching them to bet on their races instead of getting "inspired to follow their dreams" or whatever
>>714663430Okay looked it up aparently these two are cannonically " german exchange students"
>>714663506>didnt make the horse Rice ShowerOne job you hack
>>714663506Why does she have a penis?
>>714663582betting doesn't exist in uma world
but we all know if uma actually exist people would still gamble like madmen
>>714663575The Steam BA is also fully voiced by gooks meanwhile the BA JP version to this day still has no voice acting LMAO
>>714651761Taiki Shuttle is American.
>>714663582Gold ship doesnt get sad she just costs them 12 billion yen
>>714663727>The Steam BA is also fully voiced by gookswhat
>meanwhile the BA JP version to this day still has no voice actingI thought it's intentional because a fuckton of gachas regardless of country of origin work like that.
>>714663501I bet the real reason is no one want to listen to gook voice acting
>play weebshit gacha when every characters has jap names and do jap thing>but they’re all voiced by gooksWho the fuck is the audience for this shit?
>>714663693new zealand looks like a hobo, why
>>714661883It still alive and well due to sheer momentum at this point. Way too many people that got too invested in it either emotionally or financially.
ten
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>>714650097>kancolle>472i think tenryuu is a miracle of the universe but how the fuck this series that never even went global still manages to be that big
>>714661883brand power, one of the first mobages to go big, sunk cost fallacy.
>>714663335Nigga, BA is a fucking chibi auto battle grindfest, what fucking cultural about chibi auto battle?
>>714663828How can those poor sunk cost souls be saved?
>>714663810yeah i don't get it either
their weeb main audience only cares about JP VA, this is just waste of time and money
>>714663589>both wear dirndlBAVARIAN CULTURALL SUPREMACY ONCE MORE
>>714663857Global never matters to Comiket. Uma Musume, Idolmaster, Touhou & VTubers have always been the bigger ones in terms of circles. It just needs to be massive in Japan.
>>714663821this doesn't look like a hobo
>>714663986GOD SHE'S SO FUCKING FLAT
I NEED HER NOW
>>714663895Honestly I feel really free when I lost my 7 years old account with around 20 different SSR due to forgetting to bind it. I am a f2p though.
>>714663891I am talking about how much people talk about it, the porn, and so on
>>714661526link full image.. please..
>>714664051So pedophile and lolicon
>>714662049We outnumber them. Who would win, 100 humans or 1 uma?
>>714663891He's right though. BA might not be Genshin-tier popular but slightly more hardened gachafags are perfectly aware of its existence and the memes.
>>7146641571 Gentildonna can beat 100 humans.
>>714664236in a fight, right?
>>714649813>BATHE FGO KILLER THEY SAID
>>714663975for some reason these kind of otaku culture never took off in korea and china when they are weeb af
maybe because they ban porn
>>714664312At this point I have lost count of how many FGO killers have come out to great fanfare, and closed shop while FGO still keeps on chugging along undeterred. In a way it's sort of amazing considering how much of a disaster the launch was and that's usually what kills a gacha.
>>714649813>game with no global release vs game that has been out for 4 years
bros I think I'm in love...
>>714649813>uma musume is actually growing after launch
>>714650036>Female umas have larger penises than males
>>714664460No one want to play weebshit with pigsqueak gook voice acting
>>714664483her womb is begging for trainer seed...
>>714664505It's also funny when BA typically peak their steam traffic during prime SEA hours, while uma peak theirs during USA/European hours after the SEAs went to sleep.
>>714664483>>714664580Mommies are lame, I want an onee-san/older sister type horse. Only a bit older and taking advantage of our difference in age/height, I don't want baby play.
>>714664603SEA shares timezone with East Asian and Australian though.
>>714662379It's just cute horse girls doing cute horse girl things. You're not supposed to think about it that hard.
>Horse Game, Sweden
Why do girls love these things so much anyway?
>>714664730b-but nursing handjob...
>>714664483>There's a horse named Super CreekNeat.
>>714649813>>714649889>>714650150There is something funnier everytime BA and korea gets BTFO they bring out porn as a quantitative of success when is all porn made by the same developers since they are porn addicts
That's right, imagine getting so BTFO you say a game having more rule34 porn is better than any other game because their playerbase is like 99% porn addicts
Koreans are so fucking pathetic is unreal
>>714665265Stop bashing them or else they'll give their players ingame rewards to bash you up.
>>714658295I want to fuck your sister.
That is all
>>714665341This is literlaly against steam rules, why has no one reported them yet?
>>714662601Japan fumbled a lot. There are a truckload of failed jap gachas which were hilariously bad, and downright predatory with a LOT LOT LOT worse rates than the popular ones.
Unfortunately japan kind of lost its way and all they do now is commiefornian brainrot, their video games are now just like western ones. It added to the pack that Final fantasy failed extra hard both mmo and main game wise.
As for gooks and chinks they were opportunitistic. You can't blame someone for striking the iron while its hot. BA and genshin became the go-to weaboo game, mostly because the extremely aggressive marketing, but now this game is getting traction. Japan is not "back", not by a long shot, but uma musume's popularity came as a welcomed surprise.
Nikke tried becoming the next big weaboo game, especially with the stellar blade boost, but since the anni Nikke is kind of mediocre. They fucked up really damn hard, and currently it has one of the most busywork boring ass phase.
I'm not into giantess stuff but I need the horse girls to be taller than 170 centimeters
>>714665341the gift is actually garbage lmao
>>714665341The bribe is fucking nothing. Not even roll currency or important mats.
>>714665497Because no one cares. Literally, the reward is ass.
>>714655478Yet the stallion drives human females crazy from penetration
>>714658995Change her racing strategy from late burst to front runner despite her having shit aptitude for it, then spam speed and power with a ratio of 80/20 in training. Aim for at least 900~ speed by time the ura finale starts
>>714665681How short are you for 170cm to be giant?
>>714661632nta, but I recently found this digging through the points shop. probably won't play it, but the cat, that looks like a Pershing or E8, is a cute.
>>714660162That horse probably caused more money to exchange hand than the GDP of the country you reside in, thirdie.
what is the appeal of horseboy (female)
>>714660162This post really triggered the browns.
it's so over for human women
is there a difference between yellow/pink answers?
>>714657069>Series about cute and hot anime girls with horse features. >Anon still looking for and at dicks. One day I would like a scientist to explain the phenomenon of anon always being gay no matter the scenario.
>>714652274>Won because SEXMy hero...
>>714661060it would be less wild than if it was some recarinated stallion tho
>>714649680 (OP)Oh I didn't know female horses could race also.
>>714666526What is goo-goo babies
>>714666876He was Takeshi before Takeshi was even born
>>714656126The most absolute dogshit picks.
>>714666526I find baby play very hot especially when the girl is younger than me
>>714666821Well we have a scientist at least
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Which Uma is your favorite retard?
For me, its Bakushin
Reisa
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>>714663891>what fucking cultural about chibi auto battle?Reisa, simple as.
>>714667076Training Bakushin feels like I pulled her out of a special ed class because she sprints good
>>714667123>>714667076I love her jukebox song
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>>714667076>Someone finally acknowledging best girl1st place on the track and my heart
>>714653578They are high school girls thoughbeit
>>714650254How does game revenue benefit me? The fanworks do.
Do skills that have (medium) only activate in medium races or can they still activate in (Long) races?
>>714657498Azur Lane was never above KanColle in Japan.
>>714667986They only activate in the distances they specify. Same with any skill that mentions a race strategy (pace chasers, front runners, etc)
>>714652919>that time gold ship randomly chimped out at his neighbour in the starting gate and tried to climb over to start a fight Based schizohorse
>>714650374>one guy one horse
>>714650097>1432 doujins for vtuber shitThis is really depressing
>what if MALE racing horses were actually anime girls?
faggot shit
>>714667123Other umas FEAR Bakushin's TARD SPEED
>>714651761You have irish princess already in game
>>714655575>>714657482Well, I guess this anime is ok if it got people to be nicer to this horse.
>>714668312Dang. Thanks anon
>>714668373As God intended.
>>714664236I wouldn't want to fuck Gentildonna knowing even a total horndog like Goldship was scared to mate with her.
>>714650036Only mares getting to wear bloomers makes me so fucking mad
>>714650097Literally nothing to look forward to. The doujin scene is on a dire state.
>>714664585>200kg dl>120kg squat 10x3Both completely possible for an in-shape dude.
>>714650097what killed Granblue?
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>>714667246>>714667076I love her because she gave me my first URA win
>>714667076>>714669078Too bad she has absolutely zero interest in (you)
>>714669045Unfortunantely for you thats a bad day for a grown uma
>>714668863Golshi is a wuss.
>start playing horse game because its cute
>enter horse thread expecting horse game
>it's just more console wars
>>714650374>The stallions also love (You) and want (You) to be their stud.Not all of them. Bakushin is totally opposed to it because she's a prude for example
>>714669183bruh this is not even for fujos or yumejos but for genuine fags
>>714669286She's just dumb, like how she failed to accept she's out of gas for any race longer than a sprint.
>>714649680 (OP)I hate tranime so much
>>714662049Umas live their life a race at a time. Nothing else matters. Not the school, not the cafeteria, not their trainer and all his bullshit. For those 3 minutes or less, they're free.
>>714660162Haru Urara is actually a celebrity
https://vimeo.com/176459945
>>714669436>not their trainerThe birthrates say otherwise
>>714667076https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxcAXamuyR4
>>714655519https://vimeo.com/176459945
Surprisingly kino. I can't believe I'm getting invested in these horse stories.
>>714666643Treating racehorses like athletes is one of the whitest things imaginable. It's a core trait among all Europeans, especially the whitest of all, the Irish.
what's the best horse to get the triple crown with? my rice shower keeps jobbing to bourbon
>>714671028Rudolf is borderline free.
>>714667076MAKITANEFUKUKITARU
>>714671028Rudolf has it as a goal.
Getting it depends on your skill as a trainer though.
>>714650036>Super Creek's futa cock poking my head during a lap pillowhot
>>714671059>>714671264Nice, might grab her from the selector
>>714671349Yes. They are literally the whitest, no matter the cope that 54% muttmericans claim