Thread 720475582

Which god shall you fight for, adventurer?

Dionysus is always the correct answer

>>720475738
Came here to post this

>>720475582 (OP)
Athena is best, objectively.

>>720475582 (OP)
Hades. When I die, I want to be in his favor. None of these fuckers are going to help you out when that time comes. Athena and Ares will probably give you some respect and aid for fighting for them, as they like warriors/war, but Zeus and Poseidon's bitchasses aren't doing shit.

>>720475582 (OP)
gera, i love me some milfs

>>720476136
Hades is all business. Even if he likes you, I don't think he'd give you special treatment.

>>720476283
>Zeuscuck spreading bad optics again

>>720476283
This is why you pick Persephone and hope you gain favor through her. Hades couldn't say no.

>>720475582 (OP)
well not zeus his pose is kinda faggy here

>>720475582 (OP)
why are they all wh*te? be better

>>720475582 (OP)
they're humans on magical juice, they can fight for themselves and if not they're not worthy of worship

>>720477008
if you were god why would you want to be anything less than white? maybe silver, gold or some other precious metal color but from bland color of regulars human you can't do better than being white

>>720475582 (OP)
Aphrodite owes me sex

>>720475582 (OP)
Ummm where's the diversity

>>720477240
she's FAT

>>720477008
there's nothing better than white though

>Gods of Wisdom and Hunt were women
No complaints for me, but how did this happen in Ancient Greece?
Was it an early example of
>tfw no gf to hunt
>tfw no gf to discuss battlefield maneuvering with

>>720477289
Oh no

>>720475738
This. Based god of mental illness, hedonism, kinos. His modern incarnation is gang weed, and he is still putting party rockers in houses

>>720477050
>he didn't read the iliad and doesn't know why gods send humans to war

Apollo is the god of what again?
The sun, intellect, song, festivities, divination, healing, gold, music composition, and what else?

Fight for them? I'm going to break each of their jabroni backs and make them HUMBLE

>>720475582 (OP)
Athena, so that I can humiliate her after the fight by fucking her in the ass

kys dionysus simps

Poseidon is pretty cool I guess.

my crew

>>720479120
WHY ARE THEY ALL WHITE, STRAIGHT AND ABLE-BODIED? FIX THIS

>>720478583
oh no, I didn't read some greek manga about some imaginary beings, woe is me
quick rundown?

>>720475582 (OP)
Artemis because she is a virgin

>>720479202
...you don't see token god Hel?

>>720477489
>hunt
Nature has always been feminine (we call it mother nature, not father nature for a reason). It's a fickle beast and only a woman could understand it's inner workings. Men are too rational for that, thus Artemis is a woman.
>wisdom
She's the daughter of Zeus, and he's very competent in war, having lead the gods against the titans and all that. War is half strategy, careful planing and tactics and half fucking murderous violence. Athena and Ares personify that. If take away all the violence and physical might, you're left with just the wisdom, just Athena, she being a woman and thus inherently weaker physically further aids in her characterisation as the personification of wisdom.
Ares is the other half, all the violence, all the martial prowess, the technique, the strength... He just has to be male.
>>720478720
Thieves, travellers, merchants, roads and anyone who uses them...

>muh heccin greekslop
Just like my Percy Jackson books!!1

>>720479214
Bro, the iliad was the peak of greek culture, all in the format of a book (actually it wasn't a book, it was a long poem, and you had like, people whose only job was to recite it on the streets for coin, and ot was awesome), and greek culture is the basis is the basis of western culture, so you lack the basics.
I'm sorry you are american.

>>720479214
>being proud of not reading what's possibly the most important book in all of antiquity

>>720479375
>Thieves, travellers, merchants, roads and anyone who uses them...
Wasnt't that hermes?

>>720475582 (OP)
None of them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDGIHphpuJ0

>>720479682
reading is for loser nerds

>>720475582 (OP)
Who is Gera? She looks cute, but I haven't heard of her.

>>720479608
>greek culture is the basis is the basis of western culture
It's insane how pervasive this renascence myth is.

>>720479424
>In Iliad humans fight for the gods because the gods themselves are engaged in constant conflict and use mortals as instruments to advance their own rivalries and desires.
>This divine interference is driven by the gods' own passions, petty grievances, and personal ambition
nigger I already knew that humans were fighting for gods just because they were fucking cucks but you had to go and inflate up some boring historical story with a deep meaning it doesn't actually have
2/10 for the effort of trying to make me waste time

>>720475582 (OP)
Where is my bro Hephaestus?
God of fire, volcanos, smithing, and cuckoldry?

>>720479608
>you don't know some shitty story from some third world shithole so you must be amerimutt
sounds like projection, guess you must be the hipster version of 'uh-huh you lack media literacy!'

>>720479916
Only available on NG+

>>720479758
I think it's meant to be Hera?

Aphrodite for the yuri, apart from being the sanest and most reasoneable of the bunch. What's the worst she ever did, turn one or two peeping toms into some random forest animal? Athena did the same but worse.

>>720475582 (OP)
Hecate if she's an option.
Otherwise Artemis.

>out walking in the park
>on the other side of the river a homeless man is watching me
>try to ignore him
>wait, are those bird on this shoulders?
>he starts laughing and points at me
>the birds take flight
>suddenly on me one of them flaps me on the head
>the other skillfully steals my candybar
>i yell while they return to the homeless man who is still laughing
>they disappear into the shadows of the forest

>>720480078
stop consuming porn

>>720475582 (OP)
Hypnos, obviously.

>>720480206
hideous

>>720480174
Yuri is porn for the soul.

>>720480158
People say that the Greek gods were all dicks, but Odin and his family were all bastards and Ragnarok is the best thing that could happen to humanity.

>>720480296
Please do not call my god hideous.

>>720480023
Is she known for anything other than being Zeus' bitch?

>>720480425
he is genuinely straight up ugly

>>720475582 (OP)
>>720479120
>blocks you're path

>>720480206
You know hypnos is a boy right?

>>720480473
Apart from all she did to some poor random nobody called Heracles? Not really.

>>720480473
Yes!
She's also zeus' sistster!

>>720480479
You are crazy. I am not homosexual and even I think he's very handsome.

>>720480518
Yeah, although by some Camp Half-Blood interpretation (I recall they covered this in book 1 or 2 of the Heroes Of Olympus series), you could say the girl version of him over here >>720480206 is canon too.

>>720479202
>ABLE-BODIED
Odin is missing an eye and Hel is missing half a body.

>>720480748
Noone likes Hephaestus. Not even himself.

>>720480748
Wait for DLC.

>>720475582 (OP)
Poseidon, I want to ride a hippocampi.

>>720480748
Sons of Hephaestus are hairy-armed golems with big underbites.

>>720479916
>and cuckoldry
They did him dirty.

Was he in the wrong?

>>720480385
norse gods ain't shit but hoes and tricks

>>720480780
Damn brat!

>>720475582 (OP)
Is there a single one there that isn't gay or a furry?

>>720480078
>sanest and most reasoneable
>a w*man

>>720479120
way sexier than greek "gods"

>>720480078
She caused the Trojan War

ALLOW THOR TO RETORT, YOU SHAPESHIFTING RAPIST

bastet, more like baddie

>>720481083
we all make small tiny little mistakes sometimes

>>720480981
So, which of the male gods is more reasonable? Because Zeus, Poseidon, Ares, Apollo, Dionisius and Hermes very much are not. Sources vary on Hades, but I would rather not side with death if I can avoid it. No offence.

GREETINGS, TRAVELERS

>>720481083
Oh wait I brainfarted and wrote Aphrodite instead of Artemis... My bad.

>>720481170
bro she's a furry?

>>720481170
Anusbis

>>720475582 (OP)
Athenamommy

>>720481170
>goddess of children and warfare

>>720480939
Yes.
It's wisdom that matters, not technology/the things of this world. Just look what worldly things have brought us/done to us.

>>720480939
Nah he was based.

>>720481326
Only from the neck up, she's not furry enough.

greek gods are stylish
egyptian gods are cool
norse gods are rednecks

>>720481583
Temples are expensive bro, we have to combine functions.

>>720481175
Hades is a straight business man with a complicated personal life. I don't know about you but I don't want to marry the guy, I just want a comfy job. He's by far the best choice.

>>720475582 (OP)
Zeus the based god of wife beaters, rapists and petty punishments

>>720480939
>Steal from the gods
>Gods punish you

>>720481835
he dindu nuffin

>>720478720
God of genociding pr*testants.

>>720481738
>straight business man
That would imply you can negotiate with him, which only 2 or 3 dudes managed to and they all lost hard from it.

I think it's funny that, looking back on it, a lot of the 4chan users who were really involved in the skeptic meta circa 2014 who got very into atheism were probably just kids like me who wanted to believe that religion was real, but came from abusive religious conservative households that were gradually going stereotypical anti-Trump libshit and felt that learning QP logic and """rational thinking""" would arm them against their parents. I mean, the only reason I stopped believing in Yahweh was that I just stopped thinking about him. A lot of us grew up fans of Camp Half-Blood, and that series has tons of completely unabridged depictions of gods, but it also initially tied that into the conceit that special ed kids were demigods being oppressed by the Muggle government. No idea how that got trashed only a few years later when TJ and all the rest of those guys got popular.

Alan Moore made an observation in his book The Moon And Serpent Bumper Book Of Magic that isn't necessarily ultra-insightful but is definitely relevant, and that's that arguing whether or not there is a God is kind of a done deal, but that time has proven the idea of a God to be persistent; I think that if a God didn't exist, or at least wasn't important, we wouldn't be having this discussion (see Chainsaw Man).

>>720475582 (OP)
Artemis. I WILL make her love me

>>720482056
too long

>>720475582 (OP)
Athena, she's cool and strong and wise, except that one time, we don't talk about that one time.

>>720482136
Read, nigga, read!

>>720481170
What's up with Anubis and Xolotl being the literal same god with the exact same purpose in two completely separate mythos?

>>720482160
never!

>>720475738
FPBP

>>720480473
Hercules mum.

>>720481583
This is the ancient egyptians trying to avoid the word rape.
This is also the ancient egyptians having a god of rape.
Maybe some of them were in fact black...
>>720481976
That's him being good at his job.

>>720475582 (OP)
Objectively speaking if you lived the life of an "adventurer" you would be especially favored by Hermes and if your feats were great also by Athena (she is patron of heroes).

>>720482090
She will love you after she turns you into a squirrel. Then she will kill you anyway.

>>720482308
t.

>>720476283
Lovely painting

>>720476027
She is such a tiranic bitch not even centuries of athenian astroturfing could hide that.

>>720482557
Based barbarian. Would be bros with.

>>720482213
dogs are filthy corpse eating vermin all over the planet

>>720475582 (OP)
On one hand, Hades is consistently portrayed as the most level-headed. On the other hand, Hephaestus.

>>720482589
That's what I need, if Athena was my mom things would be different around here.

>>720482490
What if you were a badass hunter and earned her favor?

>>720482557
I just like to have fun, is not that complicated

>>720482213
god synthesis is pretty common
all greek gods have roman equivalent
Greek Hermes and Egyptian Ptah are usually considered the same, some people even fused these into Hermes Trismegistus
etc.
most gods from some mythos have their equal in others mythos, people usually revere same things/concepts but through their personal optics

>>720482665
Whenever I imagined greek gods as my family always imagined Athena as my cool big sister.

>>720482680
Shut up Orion you are dead. She was just playing with you. Then she killed you when she got bored of her short 0.01% het phase. You never scored.

>>720475582 (OP)
>Athena
>Literally the Godess of victory

Easy choice

which one is the god of loser freaks

>https://tiermaker.com/create/all-greek-gods-hellenism--625379

Found a Greek gods tier list if you want to powerscale.

nu-god of war
>interesting new take on the series
>ruined by drama

nu-god of war 2
>ruined by massive amounts of woke shit
>even better, they cut the new trilogy short and fucked the pacing
>jumped right to the big ragnarok showdown without any buildup

nu-god of war 3 in egypt better be a normal fucking action game

>>720483147
Yours

>>720483147
Ares. He's a friendless loser jobber with less backspine than an amoeba.

>>720483224
But in The Lightning Thief, he was a sick-ass biker.

>>720475582 (OP)
Poseidon, as a fellow sigma male we would get along

>>720483194
I would say that Egypt is way too esoteric for the current people in charge to get a grasp on it, but again, subverting every single idea in existence trough jewish/goyim lenses it's really easy to do.
>better be a normal fucking action game
Its going to be more of the same, you already know this

>>720482927
Athena was defeated in a weaving contest by the mortal Arachne, spiderfuckers WON!

>>720475582 (OP)
>Gera
Fucking WHO?

>>720483580
me

GET THIS SHIT OFF OF MEEEEEEEEE

>>720483576
Was there ever any doubt?

>>720483194
Nu-God of War will see Kratos shaving his beard (and pubes) to fight against Buddha, who turns out to be Yahweh in disguise.

>>720483363
And he still got trolled by a cripple and defeated by an 11 year old kid fighting with a butter knife for the third time in his life.

>>720483580
I think it's supposed to be Hera, but it was misspelled.

>>720482927
I like the dichotomy of Greek myth.
The Goddess of knowing how to claim victory, and the God of violently winning the battle

i downloaded smite 2 this week
bot matches are okay

>>720475582 (OP)
If you are an adventurer then Athena and Hermes are the only real choices here, they are the only gods that actually like and support heroes and adventurers.
Hera, Artemis, Apollo, Poseidon and Aphrodite are pretty much the opposite and mundane shit is enough for these assholes to declare a vendetta out of nowhere.
Zeus is as likely to turn you into a constellation as he is to have you tortured in Tartarus forever, and getting involved with Dionysus can only end in you or the woman you love getting killed and raped by him or his groupies.
Hades, Ares, Demeter, Hestia and Hephaestus won't give a shit whatsoever unless another god starts bothering them to do something.

>>720479120
Baldr is the only choice here, maybe Idun and Freyr. As for the others, the women are all useless, whores or useless whores and the men only want cannon fodder for Ragnarok.

>>720482308
Heavy drinkers don't look like that.

>>720483850
You are dead-set on manufacturing Jobbers™ in these discussion. James Gunn is not going to come into your house and rape you in your sleep, faithless one.

A shame that no other of this songs came close to this one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2W3jfvZU4w

>>720482927
>Athena
>Goddess of victory
You mean Nike

>>720484026
uninstall it please we care about you

>>720484091
Dude it's in the myths (that survived until now). Ares crowning achievement is almost "dying" inside a jar he got tricked into entering.

>>720479202
Tyr is one armed, and Hod is blind

>>720482785
It truly is for some people. All they want out of life is pain and for others to feel it too.

>>720475582 (OP)
Sex with Athena and Artemis
Otherwise Poseidon. I'd pick Ares if I didn't know any better.

>>720484287
>Ares crowning achievement is almost "dying" inside a jar he got tricked into entering.
WHEEEEEEEEEEZE

i would simply not get tricked i'm smarter

>>720475582 (OP)
>Loves his dog
>Has issues with his family
>Recluse
>Only leaves his home to kidnap women
Hades is literally me

>>720484287
>>720484461
So are you telling me the Russian man who cummed on Rainbow Character from Show-That-Must-Not-Be-Named-On-/V/ was performing a ritualistic act with spiritual significance?

I'm glad there are other Poseidonbros. Hades is cool too.

and then we have these freaks

>>720484652
yeah these suck

>>720475582 (OP)
Dionysus
>fight
>feast
>fuck
>repeat

>>720484593
Wait that guy was Russian?

>>720484773
Some variant of Caucasian Euro, at least.

>>720484652
>*Chomp*

Was this ever topped?

>>720483776
Kratos vs. Jesus would be the greatest game of all time

can i put soggy cookies in a food dehydrator

>>720485138
Loved it as a kid. Was meh when I reread both the OG and the sequel why did you read the sequel it's so fucking bad past me not long ago. Still the best in the series easily, but I liked Titan Curse much more than I remembered liking as a kid.

>>720485274
No it will produce mustard gas.

>>720484652
Quetzalcoatl was pretty based since he explicitly stated he doesn't need human sacrifice.
Pretty swell guy.

>>720477187
I thought they were said to be like Bronze, the popular alloy of the time

>>720482623
Would you rather the corpses rot, golem?

>>720482623
brown hands typed this post

>>720485660
idk he sounds like a beta cuck

>ra
>odin
>zeus
>Xiuhtecuhtli-Huehueteotl

>>720475939
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEZsGUqgtHQ

SJÆL

>>720475582 (OP)
Artemis
>patron of hunters and animals
>literally built for it (fertility/childbirth)
>can be your tomboy hunter gf

>>720481287
I miss Great: The Show so much bros

>>720486489
Definitely one of the best webtoons of all time.

>>720486393
What i will give the comic credit for, is trying to pair them as the Uncle you don't like and warm up to, vs the Uncle you really like but you get the ick from occasionally

>>720475582 (OP)
Why is Zeus standing like an anime girl

>>720484652
They are honestly pretty based.

>>720485386
Kind of the opposite for me. On a reread, The Lightning Thief was the strongest for me, and Titan’s Curse was weaker, followed by Sea Of Monsters being even weaker than I remembered it being the weakest of the five as a kid.

>>720486747
stop shaming them

>>720475582 (OP)
Athena best girl and goddess. She's literally the protector and advisor of Heroes in Greek Mythology. You could even use the word "patron" even.

>>720484045
uhhh no pretty sure everyone of these love heroes and all together agree to send them to the elysian fields. Its just that you will be favored by Hermes and Athena the most if you decide to live the life of an adventurer.

>>720486747
He is on his gay phase after fucking 50000 men while transformed into a loli shape.

>>720475582 (OP)
Lust? Aphrodite if I get to fuck her

For real seriously? Athena, because (if I was in a Fantasy world) I would adventure and she would probably protect me and I would do the same

>>720487078
>Im turning into sto-ACK!

>>720487084
>and all together agree to send them to the elysian fields
Lol no that's the judges of the dead which is comprised of the 3 biggest assholes in greek myth.

>want to make my own pantheon
>get idea for a story
>humans finally start project colonize mars
>lots of ships travel to mars
>the new coming gods of mars start to form along the journey
>first the god of hope as everyone are excited
>then a ship blows up and the god of death appears
>hope and death sit in awkward silence

>>720487430
bit childish

>>720487509
it would be a ya novel

i didnt choose the saturn life
the saturn life chose me

What books should I read if I actually want to read Greek myth?

>>720487629
The Odyssey

>>720487430
Where the god of sex at? you know that you need a god of sex, right?

>>720487218
Oh yea thats correct. Still none of them are against adventurers. Ive never heard such a thing.

zeus did 9/11

>>720484652
post huemac

>>720487430
Seen a lot better

>>720487218
No, really, why is Minos a judge of the death instead of drowning on a pool of shit in Tartarus?

>>720487430
>>720487598
do not add a sex god

>>720487629
the odyssey, the iliad, the theogony, the bibliotheca, the metamorphoses, the dionysiaca

>>720477843
The oddly smooth movements give me AI vibes.
I know it's a real shot from a real movie, but still

>>720487629
Just watch hercules the legendary journeys lol lmao

>>720475582 (OP)
thanatos or hades because I want to be the edgy anti-hero

>>720475582 (OP)
Tomboy sex with Artemis

>>720487883
That isn't a god.

>>720475582 (OP)
>god built like a brick shithouse, exhudes aura of justice via his smiting thunderbolts
>is actually the trickster god that will fuck over anyone and everyone he wants
wtf is zeus' problem?

this picture sucks the greeks didn't have wooden wine barrels

>hephaestus was born of hera alone
>ovid has ares also be born of hera alone, with the help of flora
>there's an obscure myth where hebe was born from hera touching lettuce
What's with Hera and Zeus' kids not actually being born of them

>>720487629
The Theogony
The Illiad
The Odyssey
Avoid metamorphosis and the aneid, they’re fan fiction by some faggots.

>>720488310
He does what he wants.

>>720488341
Excuse me, mate, were you there? No? Well, shut the fuck up then

>be Zeus
>have one of the legit most beautiful goddesses in existance as your wife
>she was there along with Aphrodite and Athena when Paris had the discord apple to give to the fairest after all
>she never cheated on you
>actually even gave up to you the mortal who was interested in her
>goddess of marriage btw
>cheat on her every week or so

What was his problem? Eons of marital boredom perhaps?

>>720488310
>so powerful he got bored and turned to degeneracy
many such cases

>>720488386
idk but i blame zeus he's a freak

>>720488310
Zeus is weaponized autism.

>>720486134
youtu.be/R5GKQJcDAIw

>>720479768
>Mediterraneans who love making marble scultures trying to tell you they're actually different Mediterranean butt fuckers who love making marble sculptures

Get real, fuckface. Take your sedentary contrarian delusions to some flat earth discord.

>>720487430
add a sex god

>>720488586
>aphrodite's mother in some myths is dione
>literally means she-zeus
>there is a possibility that the goddess of love was born from zeus fucking a female version of himself
remember to love yourself

>>720480515
bro, did you just fuckin' spit at me?

>>720484070
Dionisus was always depicted as a Chad in ancient mosaics. The fat drunk stuff is modern media I think lol.

>>720488586
>one of the legit most beautiful goddesses in existance as your wife
lmao everyone says she's the ugliest of the pantheon sans maybe Demeter.

>>720475582 (OP)
I'll work for Zeus. Bro's just a gooner but is treated as one of the greatest monsters of all time today. Rape is bad but Zeus was far from the only one to rape, and frankly getting raped by a member of the Greek pantheon is arguably one of the better ways go through the encounter. Fuckers like Athena get to play the role of wise warrior maidens when one of her most famous stories is being BTFO in sewing by a mortal, then beating said mortal half to death, watching her kill herself, and then dragging her back to life as a spider.
But if I could peon for any god, it would be Gilgamesh.

>>720480515
Bet.

>>720480515
Bet.

>>720489219
teehee

>>720475582 (OP)
Imagine not being team Atlas

>>720489506
Imagine being Ayn Rand and being like "YO PUT IT DOOOWN"

>>720489506
>another atlas holding the world instead of the heavens fag

>>720489915
>implying you know what the heavens look like

/V/ is literally Camp Half-Blood now.

>>720475582 (OP)
Jesus :)

>>720481170
ENTER

>>720490340
He looks just like me... I.... thank you...

>>720488929
There are MANY depictions of Dionysus over the centuries. You could argue he's like a different god in some occasions. And then there's the whole Orphic mystery cult of his.

Definately one of, if not the most interesting deities of that mythology.

>>720490184
boo, that's the most boring one
like picking mario in party/kart

>>720490593
As the latest addition, he just has the most fanfics.

>>720490695
Is there an underdog cult of drunk fetishists that are writing fanfics about D?

>>720490638
Nothing wrong with choosing the right answer.

>>720475738
ALL HAIL DIONYSUS
ALL HAIL
SLAIN AND RISEN GOD
ALL
HAIL
DIONYSUS

Ever since I read some books about Hecate after learning about her via 2hu, she's always amazed me with how fucking bullshit she is given people still worship her thousands of years later.

Which one will help me win the spelling bee?

>>720487084
>Poseidon fucking over Odysseus out of revenge
>Apollo getting Achilles killed out of revenge
>Apollo getting Orion killed out of jealousy
>Artemis killing random hunters out of shame
>Artemis and Aphrodite dual cursing Atalanta out of pettiness
>Aphrodite bullying Psyche just to be a cunt
>Hera fucking over Heracles out of pure bitterness
>Zeus ruining Paris life to avoid doing his job
>Dionysus stealing Theseus' woman just because he felt like it that day
The list goes on. More often than not the gods are the true antagonists of the stories not the monsters the heroes kill. You can be the bravest strongest hero of them all, beloved by everyone, favored by both Zeus and Athena but randomly stumble into a situation another god did not approve of and your life is over. If Zeus feels like it he will then put you in the sky as a consolation.
Athena and Hermes are the only safe choices and that's pretty much it, and Athena only to heroes and heroes alone as Arachne and Medusa found out. Hades is the only one that is consistently fair with mortals but he's also completely indifferent otherwise.

>>720491102
Athena. But you'll probably lose your sight as payment.

>>720475582 (OP)
I prefere to serve nobody and fight for myself only.
But if it's like ADOM and DCSS where you need to worship a god to succeed, I pick Ares as the warfare and carnage god.

>>720481175
>So, which of the male gods is more reasonable?
Hades, no contest. He's basically the only one that doesn't actively start shit for no particular reason. Most of the damage credited to him happened because he "kidnapped" Persephone, and even then it was Demeter the one actually fucking over mortals. Compare that to Zeus being unable to keep it in his toga and Poseidon causing earthquakes for shits and giggles, the man is pretty much a saint.
Also, Hades isn't death itself (that's Thanatos), he only rules over the dead.

>>720491432
Are we just a long-running shonen anime with a perpetual tournament arc that gods like to watch?

>>720491432
really makes you think........

>>720491171
I think only Hestia is spotless and that's probably because she's the goddess of hearth/home and is generally a very low profile goddess. She even gave her place in the 12 to Dionysus in the myths, if I remember correctly.

>>720491826
Where are her massive tits and string?

>>720491890
Wrong Hestia m8

>>720477008
Because that was the aesthetic they preferred. Zeus's real form is some kind of lightning cloud but he decided he wanted to be a Euro and modeled the appearance of himself and the people he made off of them. He likes being toga santa.

>>720485697
bronze would require texturing effort, otherwise they'll just look like poos

>>720484652
I don't know a single thing about these fuckers other than epic snake man and mirror man

Fight for yourself/woman.

>>720484652
They look sick, i give them that.

>>720487078
>Have a contest with a mortal
>Get assblasted and turn her into a spider out of spite
It doesn't matter that Athena was a product of Zeus mind, which implies that he had the soul of a hero in a female vessel. She was, still, a woman.

>>720487189
This one was alright, Donnie

>>720487430
>Marvel inspired slop
I can tell
>>720488310
None. He's based.
>>720487629
https://sacred-texts.com/cla/index.htm

>>720489579
>Jewish
>Woman
>Communist
>Atheist
Holy shit, i never see an author glowing this hard ever before

>>720491669
The last few seasons must have been pretty fucking boring for them. We're long overdue for some intervention.

>>720477289
I'm at her service

>>720495886
Arachne won.
>People who want to fuck Athena: 1 (Zeus, he fucks anything)
>People who want to fuck arachne: 8,142,000,000

>>720475738
the faggot god

>>720496295
No if thats what you want apollo would be more your speed

>>720475582 (OP)
artemis is a dyke

>>720496295
Hermes is the god of twinks

>>720496290
Human women can never compete with spider women, simple as

>>720475582 (OP)
I hate how Hades is almost always presented as a le evil bad guy. The worst thing he had done is kidnapping his future wife, but they worked it out.

>>720496982
How does one differentiate between a dyke and a tomboy?

>>720498391
Tomboys act like men but are among the most dainty girls inside once you get close enough to know them.
Dykes are tough men, inside and out, but can't actually be tough men so they make an imitation that comes off as crass and unappealing. Hence why the term is associated with lesbians.

>>720475582 (OP)
Only retards don't choose Hades.

Unless you're the biggest god damn gigachad and Aphrodite comes down to fuck some immortality into you / become her husband you're going to die one day and be brought before my man Hades.

>>720478837
>gets immediately buck broken after challenging the divinity

>>720475582 (OP)
Artemis fell in love with a man at least once, so people who think she's a dyke are obviously wrong
she's just pure for me

>>720501025
>she's just pure for me
I wonder how many "Goddess loves a man" tales were exactly this that they just passed down to their kids.

>>720475582 (OP)
Hera is clearly the best
>as long as you're not a child of zeus she won't hate you
>she will go out of her way to bully the other gods into helping you with her quest, like when she browbeat aphrodite into getting medea to fall in love with jason
>her boon to paris was to make him the king of 2 continents
>she can fight well enough, she once beat the shit out of artemis so bad artemis went home crying to zeus
>the only way to lose her favor once you have it is to be a colossal retard and try to break up with your wife
honestly a good gig all around, just don't be a fucking moron like jason and everything is peachy

>>720488586
it's even worse than that
>be zeus
>have a cute childhood friend water nymph
>she is smart and you are strong, they make a good team
>she helps you free your siblings
>beat dad up
>become king
>marry cute water nymph spirit
>get prophecy that your son will overthrow you
>childhood friend is pregnant
>fucking absorb her
>marry Hera
>all your wife's smartness gives you a headache and becomes athena
>do everything in your post

>>720478837
>anonymous one day later

>>720475582 (OP)
dionysus

>>720502615
One must imagine anon happy.

>>720475582 (OP)
eris
or nyx

>>720479757
Alexander the Great was a huge Iliad fanboy. Reportedly a copy of the Iliad that was annotated by Aristotle was his most prized possession. He took it with him into all of his battles and still had it with him when he died. Was the dude who conquered Persia in his early twenties a loser nerd?

>>720478837
Hate to break it to you, kid, you are dead, you accomplished nothing in the admittedly short span of your life, but together we can change that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXAtR-qfITc

>>720486445
She's a virgin goddess and if she doesn't kill you for no good reason then her brother Apollo will.

>>720482213
Guard dogs are a pretty universal concept. So who do you want guarding your soul in the underworld? A badass dog god. Put that way, Cerberus fits the same mold.

>>720482623
>he eats non-corpses
uuuuuhhh bro?

>>720475582 (OP)
Where's Vesta?
>misspelling Hera
Eh, she is the shittiest of the Greek gods.

>>720480603
>poor random nobody
Heracles was named after Hera to mock the fact that Zeus cucked her. Zeus knew exactly what his wife would do to the poor bastard.

>>720501867
>be Zues
>give birth to a god of war
>she's superior than the god of war (Ares) that your wife birthed
>give birth to a god of madness
>he's than more fun than the god of madness & bloodlust (Ares) that your wife birthed
>favor those 2 over any of your other children

>>720475582 (OP)
I WANT TO CONQUER THE GODS
I SHALL SUNDER OLYMPUS ITSELF
DIVINITY WILL FALL BY MY MORTAL HANDS

>>720490593
>the weakest god is actually the strongest!?
modern isekai character

>>720505250
This, except I will use my penis instead.

The street-shitters have some pretty cool mythology. I haven't read the Ramayana, but it sounds like it's a bunch of ridiculous Dragon Ball Z fights between the gods and the cast of Baki the Grappler.

>Be Meghanada
>Kill 670 million monkeys
>Everyone thinks you're a badass
>Dad gets in a fight with Indra, god of thunder and king of the demi-gods
>You ride in to save your dad and suplex the living shit out of the god of thunder
>Strap Indra to the front of your chariot and ride home (presumably through a cactus patch) and throw him in your dungeon
>God of All Creation knocks on your door, hat in hand, saying you beat Indra fair and square and he's not here for revenge, he just wants you to please release Indra in return for a boon
>Ask for immortality, he says there's gotta be caveats
>You remember how one dude asked to be unkillable at day or night, on land or sea, by man or beast. So the gods sent a half-man-half-monkey to kill him at dusk on a beach.
>You say you're not falling for that shit.
>Brahma instead says that if you say your morning prayers, it'll summon a chariot that you'll be immortal while riding. But the man who knocks you from it will be the one who kills you.
>You say that's fine, because anyone who can dismount you is enough of a badass that you wouldn't mind getting killed by him.
>Brahma shakes your hand and says from now on, you're name is Indrajit- the conqueror of Indra
>Indra remains super butthurt about the whole thing

>>720475582 (OP)
>all of them lose to UNO psyop

>>720475582 (OP)
Hebe

>>720505592
even more cringekino is the bollywood that they base off of it. they make superhero movies ABOUT THEIR GODS. this shit gets so batshit insane its hilarious i love it

>>720482880
I want to fuck your sister.

>Odysseus brings 600 men to 12 years of war
>somehow keeps all of the alive
>loses them all in one year of the gods fucking with him

>there are anons who genuinely believe Artemis was a virgin or more laughable a lesbian
Come on anons you can't be that naive to the ways of women. Mythology is chock full of lying sluts but you somehow believe this one?

>>720508175
Burden of Proof is on >>(You)

>>720508175
There must always be a waifu queen.

>>720508175
They are goddesses, what makes you think that they can't just regenerate their hymen?

>>720475582 (OP)
Aphrodite, obviously.

>>720509895
What would it be like if Aphrodite sat on my face?

>>720479724
How's he not sliding down?

>>720476136
He didn't even decide your fate, that's up to the three judges. Hades was just the lord of the Underworld and the god of currency, he wasn't even the god of death

>>720479120
>3 different war gods
>2 love goddesses
>includes the dickhead nobody worshiped and his bastard daughter for some retarded reason
>entire pantheon and myths associated were written down by a Christian and thoroughly influenced by it anyway
Great picture, retard

>>720481583
>>720481719
Only adult cats were sacred to the Epgytians.

>>720476283
Very romantic artwork. Here's another from the same artist.

>>720475738
Thats not a god, he was a philosopher, a man

>>720475738
YESTERDAY I HEARD YOU SAY
YOUR LUST FOR LIFE HAS GONE AWAY

>>720496437
>>720497010
There's a fable about Dionysis fucking himself in the ass with a dildo. Granted, there's no Greco-Roman writings on the story, only Christian writings made to paint the classical pagans as degens. But I could still totally believe it

>>720511534
Too old-looking and too willing, for some reason Hades looks like a clean-shaven eromenos too

>>720477008
Hades is clearly purple

>>720512048
Hades is known to be monogamous and romantically in love with Persephone. There's nothing too willing about that art, it's literally his character.

>>720512308
I meant Persephone, retard. She's his niece, she was kidnapped, raped and tricked into being forced to stay in the Underworld for 6 months at a time

>>720475582 (OP)
The gods can look after themselves, thank you.

>>720513930
Hades is still a romantic.
>She's his niece
So. Most of the gods are incestuous. Hera for example is Zeus' sister and wife.

>She was kidnapped
More like led astray.

>raped
No

>tricked into being forced to stay in the Underworld for 6 months at a time
She could have said no to the fruit and wouldn't be bound to the underworld. Besides, Hades made a concession with Demeter in that he will grant half of the year outside of the underworld. Compared to Poseidon and Zeus, Hades is the reasonable one out of a pantheon of asshole gods.

>>720475582 (OP)
Sorry, none of that for you. You get a faggot in a wheelchair

>>720514797
What the fuck is this?

>>720490184
>kike grifter

>>720484652
>Yeah man, I can totally read those knots. This one says Xipe Totec and this one is, uh, Chalchiuhtlicue. Trust me, I studied these knots all my life.

>>720515435
Mayan is not a dead language, those are the real names.

>meet what could have been your dream tomboy gf
>after she dies by your hand on the battlefield though
Rough.

>>720475582 (OP)
>no helios

>>720508560
>goddess of childbirth and asociated with fertility somehow despite her supposed chastity
>most famous followers, the strong independent amazons, openly fuck gigachads like heracles and theseus without pretext
>really close to another one (Orion) herself
>virginity retention rate among her group of maidens is like 30% thanks to various gods
>somehow keeps getting caught naked by young virile hunters (a buck is one of her symbols) like in some echi anime
>yet all these guys are immediately silenced, turned to animals or women before they could give their own account
>mother is an adulterous homewrecker
>twin brother, the sun to her moon, is a notorious slut
>so are all other nature and sky goddesses like Eos and Selene (also a moon goddess that is occasionally conflated with her) who fuck random peasants
>the story of Aura is so ridiculously written, like some manhwa revenge porn, you can feel the coping and seething two thousand years later (it also shows her chastity was questioned back then)
Unlike Athena and Hestia there's simply too much noise here.
Rather than a goddess virgins would worship to keep it (Hestia) she seems like a goddess women keeping secret affairs would desperatly flock to, ergo a goddess of childbirth hidding in the woods with her sorority. Also women have always hidden their affairs as other women or pets, they still do, and secretly fucking younger men is like the most common female fantasy as they grow older and more independent.

If a woman was allowed to write Artemis myths back then instead of old men, you can bet your ass it would have turned into the Tale of Genji but greek.

>>720509727
And that is the literal waifu queen >>720488586 >>720501342

>>720509825
Oh right she probably can, still a lying slut, but good for all the anons that want to fuck her

>>720475582 (OP)
Prometheus. ONE MORE GOD REJECTED

>>720484652
Now that's some deities worth fighting for!

I can't tell if I just like the idea of the soft, cute, nice Queen of Hell or if modern art of Persephone has brainwashed me.

>>720484652
The Mexica(Aztec was a Priest rank, not their endonym) had a mesugaki goddess names Tlazolteotl, who was mom to some very meek boy named Centeotl, the thing is that Tlazolteotl was wild sex, but STDs were in her portfolio, also reportedly was either yellow skinned or very pale and blonde. I like to think Tlazolteotl looked like Bache from Azur Lane.

>>720480939
I always thought there being a biblical equivalent of the Prometheus myth (the gift of knowledge being given to ignorant men, stolen whether literally or just by going against divine word, and a punishment doled out for its receiving) in Adam and Eve was fascinating

>>720517126
I can't not associate her with her SMT design.

For me, it's Eris.

>>720517126
I think you meant to say mesogaki.

>>720517126
Well, that's certainly one association i will never be able to unmake.
>>720517432
Let me guess, Soul Hackers?

>>720517432
Good thing I refuse on principle to play SMT to not have these disappointments. I'll stick to this being my Tlazolteotl image. Short, pale, blonde, brat.

>>720475582 (OP)
Aphrodite my queen

>>720475582 (OP)
Poseidon because I like to go fishing on the weekends :)

Hades.
All I ask that he grant me is protection from the other gods, and a seat at his table when my time comes.
Other stuff would be welcomed, like a cool spear or something, but I'm not going to ask him to be generous.

>>720479120
Where's kratos?

>>720517631
10/10, you get to carve out the next heart in the ceremony, my Tlatoani.

>>720517659
Yep. Lotta funky Mesoamerican demon designs from that one.

>>720517126
Man, why are all goddesses used goods with a full lineage? Even the fucking god of purity is a turbo slut.

>>720475582 (OP)
Persephone. Gets raped but is the goddess of the underworld.

>>720517906
ancient civilizations did not usually associate purity with virginity that is a post-christian invention!

>>720480378
Every single yurifag is an autogynephile porn addict.

>>720514856
Hades 2

>>720517906
Well, we have a femboy god of medicine, Patecatl. Strawberry blonde, pale, freckles. Only myth I recall of him is that he learned from Xipe Totec, god of renewal and rebirth. Patecatl drops some vials and is very tearful about it. That's it. The codex is lost or burned after 1540 in some riot. He also has kids, 400 rabbit girls who like to drink. Mexican Tewis, I guess.

>>720518047
Vestal Virgins?

>>720479916
desu when it comes to Aphrodite anyone would be a cuck, there's no way that bitch is gonna be satisfied with just one dick no matter who it is.

>>720518132
essentially a weird virginity cult of rome, though the vestal virgins and vesta's veneration could go a long way in explaining the post-christian obsession with virginity

>>720518271
Artemis, the hunter who was a virgin aka virgin hunter

>>720518358
artemis was revered as a goddess of chastity, not a goddess of purity
additionally as mentioned previously in the thread there's a lot of traits related to artemis (like also being goddess of childbirth and her chaste nature while every single other member of her immediate family is a total whore) that kinda point to her mythologically being a goddess for infidelity or affairs and secret sex/relationships

Guys.... just play SMITE 2

>>720518128
>Even the twinks fucked like crazy and had a billion kids
Man, being a god is ez mode.

>>720475738
TODAY A STAMPEDE KILLED SUPERMAN
AND APOLLO AND DIONYSUS BOTH GOT HANGED

>>720519132
Nah.

>>720475582 (OP)
>reboot takes the single worst character and makes them absolute best

Lugh is the underrated and one of the most chad gods

>>720475582 (OP)
Myself - a mortal who achieves apotheosis-CHIM-gnosis, whatever you call it. My own take on a Mithratic warrior God of liberation who crushes bullies and tyrants.

Apollo and Poseidon

Where my Apollonians at?

>>720475582 (OP)
I've never read that deeply into it but I feel like I'm an Apollobro.

>>720475738
No, is Demeter.
You will have many wheats, many babies, and you will like it.

Jesus Christ is God

>>720517906
Who wouldn't want to have their hand at a goddess? The problem is that you're born too late to have a chance at them.

>>720526558
Jesus is the Monad, the idealized conscious. Abrahamics' argument is that only a perfect being deserves worship on the level of a god, thus they get anal when anyone absolutely devotes themself to something imperfect, be it a lowercase god, your ancestors, an idol or king, your spouse...

>>720527149
I'll create a new religion and I will be the first one to fuck all the goddesses.

>>720527251
Based. Jesus is a composite god based on Dionysus, Adonis, and various figures from the Hebrew Bible. Is it possible he’s based, in part, on a historical Jesus or even multiple Jesus-like Jews that were crucified by Romans whatever their names? Sure. But the degree to which Jesus, the miracle worker, has been mythologized, and created from pre-existing myths, kind of makes this irrelevant.
tl;dr HAIL APOLLO GOD OF LIGHT AND LYRE

>>720528836
The important thing though is that a figure like how God is described has existed in western concious as far back as Plato's Theory of Forms, and Jesus's story was the one that closest fit the bill to the Greco-Roman public's conception of that figure.

>>720529276
>>720528836
>>720527251
It is interesting how much of a Greek religion Christianity is. A lot of its core concepts come out of Ancient Greek thought. Gospel of John is important stuff. Just don't overgreek or you'll end up being a Gnostic.

>>720475582 (OP)
I'm something of a seadog myself, a bit of a scallywag if you will. Poseidon.

>>720529875
Based. May Poseidon grant (You) calm waters and good horses

>>720475582 (OP)
athena or hephaestus
ALWAYS play it smart

>>720486393
I quite liked Valhalla. Too bad all of it wasn't translated into Finnish but at least we did get like five albums. I think I might have fapped to Freya as a young lad. Pretty sure you could see her boobs in the first album. The animated film is pretty cool too.

>>720505592
I think Hindu mythology is incredibly fucking cool
Can't stand Indians, but their legends are nice

>>720517906
But Artemis was a virgin and never had sex, she's the goddess of incels.

>>720531575
>Can't stand Indians, but their legends are nice
Same
>mfw surfing the Kali Yuga

>>720479120
>Frigg ::DDD

>>720488310
I blame his poor familial upbringing. The titans were the original abusive household.

>>720531575
All of the best parts of it came from PIE faith anyways

>>720518474
You're looking to deep into it, she's considered goddess of childbirth cause she helped her mother give birth to Apollo. She asked Zeus to grand her eternal purity and chastity, indifferent to the joys of marriage and the pleasures of love just so she could hunt. She even killed a man that saw her naked.

>>720484652
I'd probably worship Tezcatlipoca because he's been fucking my shit up with a bit too much change, conflict and chaos. Also Mictlantecuhtli because I fear death.