Thread 33540551

Bitch you live down the street! Why do you need to come over to talk in the middle of the street for two fucking hours. You ever heard of a goddammn phone. Dumb bitches

What people don't understand about the internet is it was set up to identify evil people. Everything people do online, is logged forever. It's your permanent record. People think they can hide behind VPNs but that's ridiculous. You can consider the internet, God and you will be judged accordingly soon. NOTHING is secret. NOTHING.

>>33540717
It's called the new world order.

>>33540551 (OP)
I made a new friend just by talking to a random stranger. I couldn't be happier, she is the nicest person ever. Genuinely kind. I wish I was as kind as her, she is an inspiration to me, I'm going to keep making the effort until we are besties.

>>33540551 (OP)
I don't understand people who can talk non stop for that long. How do they not get tired of their own voice?


I'm seriously thinking about going to ACA meetings. I'm at a point in my life in which i can't see any value or purpose to my life. I just exist, i don't feel like I care about anything and I don't feel any aspirations or wants. The idea of placing myself in a 12 step program feels weird, and I really dislike the idea of hand holding and telling each other we matter. The whole touchy feely thing irks me, but I really don't have anything to lose anymore. And maybe it's a more selfish thought, but I also might meet somebody to at least call a friend or something. All I know is I've been in a bad headspace for too long and something needs to give or change before I burn out entirely

>>33540551 (OP)
I wish I could know the future and know that I'm going to do well in school when it starts again on the 2nd of September.
I'm old now, 29, there's no time to waste
but getting off my ass is so difficult
and being alone is so difficult, I've been single since last summer when my ex cheated on me..
I just.. want to know that I'll be consistent with the new hobbies I have, the dancing bachata and the singing choir. I want to be good. I want to be a good outdoorsy person so that I never have to feel shit and be stuck in a loop where I watch videos, play games and cum over and over again.

You didn't put GIOYC in the title.
OP is a faggot.

I love Dubai chocolate

>>33540785
I'm happy for you anon. You must be so lucky to find someone like that because it's so hard to do. Good luck building this friendship.

>Play a video game after work, brain feels okay.
>Watch a poorly dubbed 5/10 seasonal anime before bed, brain feels fine.
>Watch YouTube for an hour, get a headache and feel gross.
I'm not sure what the exact psychology is here, but tl;dr I may be a healthier person if I watch pantyshot anime and play Diablo II and stop watching hobby YouTube. I feel like I'm from a mirror universe.

Now that I have two jobs, I finally feel secure.
At least if one of my jobs didn't go well, I'd still have the other job. And I'm more appreciated at my second job.
I know the colleagues of my first job are not terrible either, but some of them can be so rude and insufferable, and most of the supervisors have no intention of keeping me around.

i broke up with my long term boyfriend a couple of weeks ago and im going crazy bc no sex. im not even ovulating! im scared im gonna do something that ill regret. i genuinely feel like a starving animal
is this how men feel? maybe theres just something wrong with me

>go into the bathroom
>someone wrote on the wall
>"Chamber of Secret Homos"

I lol'd

U understand that regardless of how much time and effort that u put into stalking me, messing around with my autocorrect and algorithm trying to destroy my sanity I never have and never will make any assumption as to who it is right? And that’s exactly what would be convenient for Paul and “S” due to the fact that I already called either them or people impersonating them out almost three years ago. It’s safe to speculate that it’s them however and I do my best to manage that possibility. The things u are doing is demented, psychopathic and not the least bit reasonable. Fuck u.

I dont have a 'why' in my life
How can I live a meaningful life if I don't have a why?

Hacker get the fuck off my phone

>>33541113
du you bai it?

>>33541464
Faste 20 hours, do a language on duolingo, do the math and piano courses, try to perfect your body, and just generally try to be perfect forever while never getting there.

Mike needs to be eliminated.

He must go. I mean it. That is a fucking ORDER!

Eliminate him. I've had enough of this evil creature. GET RID OF HIM!

Scum too though I highly suspect its the same person.

It's war. This is what I'm telling you people. THIS IS AN ORDER.

https://youtu.be/k7R2uVZYebE

I felt great for a few weeks and thought life was looking up and today all I want to do is crawl in a hole and die. Getting real tired of this shit.

I woke up after having a bunch of flashbacks of how shit I have been as a friend in the past in my dream
I'm diagnosed with aspergers. When I was 12 and younger I had a handful of friends. One from school. Some of my cousins. A friend I made when I temporarily moved into a housing estate while my family's house was being built, and I just fucked it all up so bad. Not that I did something, but more what I didn't do. I haven't had a friend since 12 years old. I don't even know how to socialise anymore. I'm so fucking stupid. I never deserved the friends I had, I was so bad at friendships but they still tried. I even pushed my cousins away, we all used to be very close. I was going through a rough time all throughout my teens so I just isolated myself, shut myself off from the world. Now i'm a stranger to my extended family more or less. Recently I've been trying however. I've been going to family events for a few years now. Well, mostly it was because my grandfather, granduncle and grandmother all died in the span of 4 years, so i've been seeing my family more. But I find that i'm still so socially inept

I don't know why my mind decided to play back every moment I fucked up all of a sudden. It's a bit late for that. Nearly two decades late. I feel so shit about myself right now

>>33541555
>>33541549

I am NOT changing my mind on this. It is for the good of all of humanity. He is an extreme evil force that needs to be eliminated. If you want my help in the future, you do as I say. Cancer dart, poison, idc GET IT DONE.

>>33541541
Doesn't really give me a why
My life is meaningless unfortunately

KILL BILL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJjsm6CVsG8

>>33541585
Just try to be perfect forever. You haven't even tried. That doesn't sound like the sentence of a perfect person at all. You can't not try the advice and say it doesn't work. That's cheating. You are cheating for team nihilism.

Billy must die.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/fyBsYmit6jA

I planned on going camping last weekend but after I told my parents (I still live with them) my dad freaked out and was convinced I was going to kill myself in the woods. I tried telling him about how it's a government campground without much privacy but he just seemed so genuinely terrified that I couldn't bring myself to go anymore. Ironically that argument's triggered a depressive episode. Just feel like such a loser

>>33541654
at least u know he cares a lot about you

6am: Wake up, feeling like you've been in a car crash. Drag yourself out of bed to possibly force a shit out too early in the morning, shower and get dressed. If you're extra tired you just get dressed and leave after starring into the abyss and pondering life for an hour.
7am: Commute to work. If you're lucky it will be a 20 minute walk or drive. Thats probably not the case. You probably enter the rat race with fellow wagies on the road, foot paths, public transport for 30-40 minutes
8am: Enter the building wanting to die. Manager smiling from ear to ear, hello happy campers, team meeting !
1pm: You've got a choice. Sit in the work canteen with people you can't stand, or walk back to your car that takes time out of your lunch break, but gives you time to reflect on how you hate your life
3pm: You want to go home, but you've got 2 more hours
5pm: You leave work, enter the rat race again, do it all over again
6pm: If you're lucky, you walk in through the door. You're unsure if you want to wank, shit, eat, sleep or cry.
7pm: After pondering for an hour, you force yourself to eat, household chores are on your mind, you do some, leave others
8pm: You're tired as fuck at this point. You shit post, scroll some shit on social media. You start to have a good time, but then oh shit time flys when you're having fun and its
10pm: I need to go sleep, need to be up at 6am. Now i've got a choice, cry myself to sleep or stay awake for a 2-3 hours more and wake up even more exhausted. You rotate those options over 5 days.
11:30pm: You've been in bed for 40 minutes exhausted and unable to sleep, but then go to sleep
6am: Alarm goes off

>>33540551 (OP)
You are not noble or more sincere for emotionally distancing yourself from others. Avoiding intimacy is really easy actually and the sad part is that vulnerability is still a skill you need to develop if you actually want to maintain a meaningful relationship with someone. I really worry you will have spent all these years alone waiting for the perfect person to come along only to fumble it at the last hour and then never try again because of your stubborn and avoidant nature. I care about you but not everyone will have the patience to try and fix you when you don't even care to address it yourself.

Imagine thinking someone needs to be fixed.

>>33541747
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

>>33541778
It's more like 'Remove the plank out of your own eye, then you are clear to see, it is up to your brother to remove his own speck'.

>>33541778
You responded not because this was for you but because something about it affected you and made you defensive. I don't think people need to be fixed, people have to heal themselves. Support and help is good but the true effort must come from the individual. The individual in question seems to think that the right woman will just come along and suddenly all these glaring issues with their life will be fixed when that rarely ever happens.

I still have this piece of love I can't tell you died
"I only wanna be with you" -- well you lied

Algorithm has seemed relatively back to normal lately.

Starting to wonder if I was wrong and there has only ever been one Derek. Still not sure about Tammy. I don’t actually have legitimate evidence to back up my suspicion for either of them. I wish that Derek had handled it better when I was losing my mind about the autofill and highlighted sentences after google searching. It made me feel like he knew something that I wasn’t supposed to. I wish he would believe me when I tell him that someone bent my finger while I was sleeping exactly one year ago as of last night. Felt like Tammy was speaking cryptically to me as well trying to spook me further 2023. I miss having a good relationship with my dad. Now I wonder if he ever gave a fuck or when he stopped. I don’t know if he keeps me around because he actually cares or some kind of alternative obligation. I don’t know who was breaking into my rv while I was sleeping but I believe that someone was.

Someone please go into the IG video’s comments and tag @kristanmercerhawkins and @lilaroseofficial so this poor woman’s story can get out to the Pro-Life Movement. Destini needs to be interviewed on pro-life media.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DNAArGDinxx/?igsh=aGw0MHN5b2d4bTl5

>>33541578
You misspelled Colton. He is a manipulative piece of shit .

>>33541555
Idk who scum is. Probably a larp persona by colton. Not the first time he has tried that.

>>33542079
>only 42%

>>33541829
>I care about you but not everyone will have the patience to try and fix you when you don't even care to address it yourself.

You literally said "I care about you and am patient enough to fix you, the next person will not be."

>>33542079
Didn’t she leak the photos of his bumhole?

>>33541293
I have a weird feeling I know you. If your name begins with M, I'd be up for a shag again, the sex between us was always great.

Thinking about coming out to my friends today when they come over
Came out to my siblings last week so I should
It'll probably be fine I don't think they're actually homophobic they just make the standard jokes sometimes and I don't want to be a joke which is why I kept it in so long but it's hurting me more than it protects at this point, plus I actually started talking to guys and I don't want to have to half-hide that anymore

I probably will if I drink, I won't if I don't

it's over.

>>33542275
This is what I don't get about you western faggots, why does it always need to be a sit down meeting? Why is it for them to know? So you can get stiff telling them how many cocks you suck?
Who fucking cares, get your boyfriend and fuck off, no need to let anyone know, they put the pieces together themselves and they'll be happier for it.
Attention seeking cunt.

I managed to not jerk off tonight even though I was convinced I would. Just goes to show how little I have to be happy about, really. Does this help my karma a bit?

>>33542304
That's a whole lot of assumptions
It's about not tiptoeing around the things I speak about now since I'm not living as repressed anymore and the important things in my life are gay related now
Simply casually mentioning them is coming out, that's what I'm talking about, it's not some big event
You're way more of a retarded faggot than I am

>>33542320
Takes one to know one, now get your fucking cock out right now

i think a barista just tried to give me an opening. go me, if so.

>>33542305
If you faste 20 hours a day your desire to masturbate will go down 90%.

>>33541113
i was about to buy this at the truck stop and the shit rang up $20. what are you paying for these poo bars?

>>33542287
Every time you say it's over is when it starts to bounce back

I should've learned how to masturbate properly as a kid. I'd hold my pee in and do it so often that I think my bladder is weak now

>>33540717
So what to do about that? I think I will maybe just use Spotify and download books. I find this to be macabre as hell. Not like I am special. I search for book recs, movie recs, usually watch porn, use Pinterest to look for pretty stuff, check clothes when bored, create docs with lists of places to go and things I want to do, and investigate depression and mental ilness (I am depressed). My algorithm is DIY, cooking, music and stupid brainrot memes. Yet I feel scared. Not like I want to be someone important. More like I feel violated in some strange way. Maybe I am just another number but fuck. They know more about me and my future than I do. I always think about this and I thought it was paranoia...

>>33542094
Im not “Colton”. Don’t worry about who I am. I come here to communicate with Feds who may or may not be helping me. I believe I was maliciously targeted in these threads 2023 before I did anything to make a particular anon angry, all on a different board then started feeling like my parents began conspiring against me. Everything I post is genuine and my life has been difficult and complicated.

>>33540551 (OP)
I wish I didn't exist. Not even in the juvenile attention begging way or a suicidal manner. This whole world is just not it. I should've never been born anons. I'm just taking up space. Nothing excites me. Nothing motivates me. I hate the food. I hate the social dynamics. I hate knowing that every day I have to "put myself out there" instead of just living like a hermit.


Idontwannabehereidontwannabehereidontwannabehere

>>33542646
Same. But know it is temporary. You will find a way out. Please do not give up yet. I wish you the best. Know you are not alone in feeling that way. I can't help but I can tell you suicide is not the way out. It's not even an option.

>>33542627
Not interested in larps.

>bigfoot thread gets nuked
I'm not a big fan of the government

>>33542749
I was about to reply to it when the feds deleted it. I was gonna say, they keep Bigfoot a secret because he's an interdimensional being whom they can't track. They fear him

>>33542734
Larp as in pretending? I’m not pretending.

I hope I don't get tetanus. I knew that was stupid.

I'm really close to my limit but "I don't know what to do", I do know what I must do but I don't have the discipline or the energy to unfuck things, I just cry and fall asleelp for 20 hours, get up to get some food and water and try to survive another day, I really want to get a hug and be told things are going to be alright, I want to believe things are going to get better but I simply can't get things done, I can't get up, I want to be more than this, I want to believe I can be more that this but I know I'm really broken and flawed, I know nobody is going to save me, I know it's me the one who has to make things change but I'm really losing hope in myself.
My time is running up and I'm so scared, I wish for a lifeline but I'm not strong to fight for it, so much fear and so much pain I feel like choking I, I will say it again, things are going to be okay, things are going to get better, I will keep repeating it until I start believing it again, I hope I will believe it again, I hope I will change, hope is all I have, without it I will have nothing to old onto, I know there are chances things will get better, it is far from being impossible, if only I could get up, just getting up and getting something done, I am so weak it disgust me, it pisses me off so fucking much, but here I am, lost as always.

Just getting up, that's all I need, it is that simple, it should be so easy.

Finally found a cute girl who likes dragonball and it doesn't work out. Been waiting my whole life for it, gonna kms

work is the only thing that keeps me distracted from wanting to kms, I feel so detached from people, I talk to them and they seem to like me but I just feel like a robot, so hollow. I don't want to live feeling like this anymore.

Fal and winter aren't happy seasons for me anymore
I'm left with a bunch of depressing memories from my ex and how she treated me around this time despite how hard I was trying to keep our relationship stable
She's gone but unfortunately the impact of her actions is there

I have a boss that i think is a legitimate piece of shit. tell me if i'm wrong
>yesterday he was on the phone to another centers manager
>railing on other guy cuz he wont stay later
>other guy legitimately does bosses work
>OG: daily finishes his tasks then does some of my task because I'm working the other centers work while they're down
>OG: does managers computer/shipping tasks as well as s cleaning and dipping of parts for shipping which boss man swears up and down he does
but then:
>i'll catch boss man slipping up on simple shit
>like yesterday a salesman bought us our weekly food
>i wanted diet and boss hands me regular and insists its diet even though other cup has diet and dr.p pushed in
its not only that but its a recent example
I half think everybody kinda knows he's slipping and he's saying this shit to save his own ass. the other half is i think the company is letting him ride out till retirement.

The worst thinks the OG is propping him up so he can take the heat from upper management. And management knows he fried his brains in his 20s so scaring him makes it easier to crack down on us.

I'm hurt because people who i thought were my friends dont care about me now that i moved to another country. i was talking to one of them the other day and mentioned that my birthday would be the next day. they didnt even bother to write me a message. that was one of my best friends there but i guess it's all just meaningless...

>>33543406
sounds exhausting

Pretty drunk so don’t mind me

In my usual commute I’ll run into the same pool of say 100 people, maybe I’ll see 20 or so a day taking the bus. There’s this one girl who I love running into. Never had a conversation at all. Once or twice we’ll share a bench. Too creepy for me to just ask for her number just like that. Wish I could strike up a conversation. I already know what stop she gets off or on at. Thought about handing her a note with my number but that’s so cringe. Oh well.

I think I have discovered the reason and the reason, but not the act itself, fills me with rage

crazy how good this could've worked if you left your own ass once in a while

>>33543381
Same, such is life

>>33540551 (OP)
There's this store I buy from regularly and because of my schedule I always end up coming in at the same time. There's this bitch who works there who complains if I come more than once a week. "Wow, you're here again?" Type shit. So ANNOYING and rude. Like bitch I come in here and pay my hard earned money to this business and I have to deal with this shit. It honestly pisses me off and makes me not want to shop there at all. But it's a convenient location and has good prices. But that's such awful customer service. Just ridiculous.

SPINNING FUCKING PLATES
I HATE YOU NIGGA I HOPE YOU DIE

I have always wanted to date an alt girl but I don't know how to relate to them

Never played FNAF but that's what all of them reference in their Hinge bios. Don't listen to emo. Most of what I do is read books on American history. What kinda girl is into that

>>33540551 (OP)
Should I message her? I really want to talk to her again but I'm tired of her never messaging me to talk to me and it's been weeks now. It's always me messaging her first and it's always up to me to drive the conversation. I think it's painfully obvious that I like her more than she likes me but I still can't help thinking about her.

I wasn't in love with her when I was with her, but I feel in love with her now. My days with her were some of the best of 2024. I think she might still be into me, she messages me from time to time. I dreamt of her last night, and spent the whole day thinking about how great she was.

My work ethic has cratered lately. It's summer in the southeast US and it's an outdoor job, so a certain amount of slack is usual. But lately the crap has been pouring in. My longtime good manager was "retired", the new guy is just getting a taste for how much of a shitshow this place is, and upper management keeps bringing in temps who do half the work for 50% more pay. I'm convinced someone in corporate is taking kickbacks.
I keep wishing for Krakatoa 2.0 to erase summer for the next year or so. I hate this weather so damn much.

>>33544167
>>33544275
She will message if she's ready to go forward . It's her turn

I miss them. It feels wrong to not even at least be friends. Wonder if they’re still around where I last saw them

I love my God, I love my life and I love my friends

There's an American ginger girl in these threads... I want her to sit on my face

Bitch lasagna

>>33540551 (OP)
I know my fiance has only slept with one other person besides me.

For the longest time I didn't care or want to know who it was but discovered it was to his only friend whom he has known since childhood. I always liked her and she has been good to me but ever since I found out and discovered what their sex life was like I want to phase her out of our lives.

Is that a wrong thing to do to my fiance seeing that he kind of struggles socially and she is his only friends. I do trust he has never cheated or will ever cheat on me. But I also do know that if we ever broke up he would go back to being fwb with her again if she were to be single too.

>>33544388
Same oomfie

>>33542268
i would never have sex with a brit, gross

Told my dad I’m looking into meds and he goes into this unhinged rant about 5G and how meds dull your higher self
K bud

>>33545079
absolutely true actually.

I fucking hate life, I hate people, I hate life.
I don't like people, I don't like life. i wish I could stay in a cloud forever, and just watch the people go by and then judge them and then see them for what they are which is,
not something to be judged, something to be curious about and watch grow, and that would be beetlebub which is a cloud inside a jewel.

I saw that.

I saw one thousand pricks of a needle inside myhself
I saw that

sadness is a jewel. I saw taht.

what was sadness until I saw the wood inside my own pants? I didnt know that

but roads all lead somwehre, and that isnt what I saw.

I saw trees growing, I saw water flowing. I need that.

trust is an exercise in futility made for peasants to see each others faults.

Wisdom is a journey through the center of an acorn tied to a giants ring.
That was what I saw

forty nine for fourty in the saw

was taht something?

I saw that

DO YOU FEEL IN CONTROL? DO YOU FEEL IN CONTROL?

I saw that

I saw the thing which was formless until I saw it going the opposite direction. I saw the man who had opposites growing out of his split toenails.

I knew that someone saw that.

and then I saw a toe curling up from the grave of a massive elephant turned into a bulbuaradius.

compassion is the vice of pokemon
compassion is the vice of pokemon
water? defense
fire? offense.

is that a thing? i think thats a thing a target for something I just saw?

I saw that.

I actually had an old friend reach out to me yesterday. We last spoke about 3 years ago before he had to go to prison. I've been really down lately and I haven't had any real friends since, so it really made me happy and I haven't felt happy for a long time.

It'll still be a few more months before I can visit him, he's only out on work release and in a different county, but I actually have a friend again.

ok heres the deal
theres soemthing on my chest that i cant feel
its reaching out to someone here
it saw that something in so dear
it hurts people when i shake
ti makes me see things through walls i hate
it prisons people while im free
it blackens darkness inside me
it blackens things i cannot see
its inside and behind me
its teal and white and gold and blue
and temples made of giant shrews
and something i saw taht day
i saw the madness made of clayh
that clay was something i saw dear i saw it down inside my clear fordred many something i saw i saw that something inside paw
i knew it something i could see i found it without something me i knew i couldnt be myself so i made a fortress made of felt and something i knew something dear i couldnt be myself with shears so i couldnt see i couldnt paw i knew that something was not odd so ive been taken yet again and i want out i want my friend and i wnat tou t my tsoaug d friend and i want out i want out i want out i haot woaintg elang lknwag kdsat and thats athe thding ai as saw it hta something i saw it sth et hsgosmeth ing i ts socmign out of mye into oyu and i saw the
emerald in sdie teh glass wiuth teh spoon with teh spoon in the RIVER RIVER IRVER
REIVERREIVERREIVERREIVERREIVERREIVERREIVERREIVERREIVERREIVERREIVERREIVERREIVERREIVERREIVERREIVERREIVERREIVERREIVERREIVERREIVERREIVERREIVER
yeaha and i saw that i saw taht im not stressed
im five in the cut and i knew that before i ii ii ii i isawas lasdngsag
dsdsvae me

Nope, I'm still caught up on my ex and how she left.
you said you loved me
You get a friend. I told you not to talk to him.
You slowly stop talking to me and talk to him more
Start calling him your boyfriend
But still asked me "you don't love me anymore" on multiple phone calls. But since I respected your decision, I didn't say yes. i just said " I didn't say that"
ask me a question about feminity and block me , ask him and he agrees and he doesn't get blocked
I write a message saying all my grievances and one last good bye and you say whatever. your boyfriend is like "you guys have been friends for so long dont throw it away"
You get sad for a week. youre telling people how i left and they are telling you ill be back. You call me me the next morning and say you want to be friends again and that youll pay more attention and wont block or ignore me anymore
You call me again a few days later and ask if ive done sexually explicit things thinking of you lately. I answer, you get mad and block me again
I message you a few weeks later asking if youre still mad and you say your boyfriend doesnt want you talking to me

i get mad at her. "I tell you not to talk to him when we were together and you didnt listen, but he tells you not to talk to me and you listen? Fuck both of you. This fucking guy knew we were together and he still talked to you. Thats some coward shit to move on someone elses girlfriend And then try and be all protective"

month later I see your roommate one time and i say one sentence. And suddenly you and your boyfriend remembers that you're still in a group chat with me and leaves.

TLDR Friends for 5 years. dated for 2 years and you threw me away for some guy you knew for less than 3 or 4 months the real thing that annoys me is you never sent a message saying we're breaking up, Never sent a message as to why you're not talking to me or to close our friendship. You blocked me as if we were nothing

I dont even know why youre not with me

I should have died in the fucking womb instead of living this life where I spread lies and horrible things to people unconsciously and then wake up and do it again to myself after seeing pain and suffering in my sleep.
did you know that you can see through walls if they give you the power?
did you know they can give you the power to taste the air and taste blood and sweat and fear in the air?
did you know that I want to die and go to hell and become a chittering mass of sweat and bone anddeath and see that inside myslef and then reverse it and then reverse it and im not in control here dont you see that? dont you see that? dont you see that?

secret agent?
I saw a portal and ever since then the future and the past have been wrapped up in my own head which isnt my own head dont you see? i saw a million faces inside my own hands and i didnt see that eitheR THEY DID?????? THEY DID?????? THEY SAW IT?????? I WANTED TO SEE THAT BUT HTEY DID????/ SOT HEY KEEP TEMPTING ME AND FILLING ME WITH FALSE FEAR AND TRUE PROMISES MADE OF SIZZLING CANCEROUS BLOODY ROTTEN ROARING DEATH CONCNETRATED INSIDE A GIANT SPOON MADE OF HEROIN COCAINE ALIEN ROCKS I SAW INSIDE A GIANT MOON? IDD YOU KNOW THE MOON IS AWAKE?DID YOU KNOW THAT ITS AWAKE? DID YOUI KNOW IT SEES YOU ? THE FACE ON THE MOON? ITS DREAMY
DID YOU KNOW ITS DREAMY? MOON DREAMS?/

DID YOU KNOW TITS ARE DREAMY ? I KNNEW THAT IDIT HTEYHO U I KNEW THAT NO I DKNTE OATI K DIDNT DID YOU KNOW THAT I KNEW THAT IDKD A DID YOU KNOW I HAVE POWERS I THOUGHT I HAD BUT ITS NOT I CANT SAOTHDI GHAHK YTHATS IT AHGODWAH GKSDG LASG

did you know that i cant fight it anymore?
did you know that i cant fight it anymore?
did you know im not the one typing? did you know there are 2 inside me right now and they want me to hurt myself which is darkness which is nobility which is stress which is not something you can control/
did you know that I saw taht?

did you have the idea that something inside a nut which is an emerald was a ring which was a spiral?
if you take a spiral and turn it upside down its a spiral but in 2d space from the top its a circle?
did you know if you put a ccircle on its side its a line? its a line going straight and then you go straight forever but its not infinity? its actually just a circle but u cross it upside down over and over until you cant go across anymore and you just fall over which is not something you want to do?

did you nkow secrets are power and i have none of them and i saw that and i saw taht nadn d i was and i knew taht until he saw taht which was HE DID IT TO MEH AHHHAHHAHHAHAH AND I KNEW THAT AND I KNEW THAT AND I KNEW THAT WAS THE ONE I SAW I SAW TAHT AND I FOUND IT ALREADY IT WAS
giant feet in a tank
made of something real and swankj
i new i new i new i new
forty for i saw that too

and filigree and silver rocks of steely darkness made of locks of stealy forty in the cut and buttressed walls of ugly smut.

i knew the pornographic priestess eggman saw inside my cheat chest .

ohhhahdh a
gdohhhs
di ohh h
o hoh h
poetry? its eveil too I saw that when I came in yhou
and thats me too its blonde and black and you're going to start to hack the bonds i made of something real i saw taht too when i made you feel
THE
RIVER
AHHHAHDO DOYHU FEELI N CONTRO LULDU LDU LAHGDF DMEONB AODH FUDFEEL IN CONTRO LDO YOU FEEL IN CTGORN OL BUDY?
BUDDY?
BUDDY
HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHH BUDDY BUDYD THATWSA HD A HAHHAHHAHHAHHAHAHHAHHAH HAHHhljalhdhkvlhdaslkghdsag;hdsglkj hthat was i wsaw

They were beautiful then and they are still now.

>log onto my reddit throwaway I use to communicate with some people
>got a Warning for a chat I sent on August 14
>nothing inappropriate in any of our chats
>neither of us reported the other
This is like the 5th time this has happened. I looked it up and it turns out reddit actually will scan your private messages with AI and sends out warnings for wrongthink. No idea what I did that was wrongthink either. Bizarre I'm only going to use that site to exchange phone numbers from now on.

>>33545194
Please be careful anon

>>33545722
Be careful with what?

>>33545792
Your old friend that got out of jail

>>33545800
I don't think there's anything to worry about. He thought enough of me to reach out less than a month after being released, it's kind of nice to know he'd want to keep me in his social circle.

He didn't hurt anybody to get put away, he's not that kind of person.

>>33545830
Well alright.

>>33541442
Is this happening to other people? Something weird similar to this is happening to me. Fuck.

>>33545913
I don’t know

I fear change, yet I crave it. This is madness.

The recent interest in Puer Aeternus is such normalfag bullshit. "Ooh I have friends relationships and a job but I'M SOOOO DIRECTIONLESS AND DISASSOCIATED :((((((("
>>33542079
NYPA, faggot

I feel like whenever I ask a question, my IQ drops 50 points and I lose the ability to think for myself, only ask dumb follow-up questions.

Needy and wants constant attention, but willing to toss you to the side when it's convenient for her

I don’t know what I did but good luck I guess

>grow up very isolated and scared of others due to having aspergers, being molested by my dad, bullied by peers and girls
>spend a lot of time enjoying star wars and marvel as escape even though my love for them leads to further mockery from most people
>they both become extremely popular and acceptable in cultural zeitgeist
>get an optimistic feeling by proxy, like I'm somewhat acceptable to people/the world in a weird sense
>fast forward to now and star wars/marvel are basically the punching bag of internet/mainstream culture, can't even admit you like the good ones without being pounced on and ridiculed
It's like I never left high school

>>33546673
no one's forcing you to be into star wars and marvel. Find something else

this morning i made a post about how annoying it is to get over my ex because of how it ended.

Today i on the way to the gym i see her roommate again. So i say "awww you got flowers!" and just when i'm about to leave she says "You miss her." so i just said . ummmmmm. i could lie and say i dont think about her .

Now im overthinking again. She knows she has a boyfriend, she knows we are not together, she knows we havent spoken for a while. so why would she ask if i miss her?

I've written 5 songs in the last week about her lmao
I thought it was helping me process the emotion and move on but I think at this point it's just rooting in the obsession in a different format
Really wish I could logic my brain out of this hole, I feel insane lately

>Rich aunt dies
>She had no kids/husband
>I inherit all her properties
>Sell everything
>Walk away with more money than I'll ever need
>Quit job and start going apeshit with the money
>Spend the next 2 years doing/buying everything
>Suddenly realize today that my life has little meaning
>And that any time I hangout with people they ask for money
>MFW

So what's the plan here? I don't work, I've done everything expensive I can think of, I've been sitting here for like a week just watching TV and playing shitty video games, what do I do with life anymore?

Be human. Act like one. That's your final warning, you better improve.

I want to be perfect

It's him. ffs... be better.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKMtZm2YuBE

How 2 manifest someone raping me

All the ones that have to walk lone, been home
Wanna forget me so bad, you developed Stockholm syndrome

>>33544864
Trust me, a night with me I don't think you'd want anyone else

I spoke with an Uber driver a few days ago, it felt like I was talking a man that could have been me in a different life.
He spoke of how he fell deeply in love with a childhood girlfriend, from kindergarten, to his twenties - oh how he loved her, how he married her with glee.
He put her on a pedestal, he spoke of what was and the love he had for her in every moment of every day, how he'd make breakfast in bed for her every morning, how he showered her in praise and devotion and yet, in return, she cheated on him, behind his back, divorced him and moved on like nothing had happened.
He cried every day for two years, he couldn't figure it out, the pain, the strife, the betrayal, and yet he still had this soft spot for her.
My Ex, my technical Ex-Fiance I see the same way and I hate it, I'm only lucky to still have my youth, I wish when I closed my eyes I didn't see her smile and yet I still do and I hate it, to have a part of you still wishing to love someone who wanted to be rid of you at every turn.

I think of Genesis a lot, the city of Soddom being destroyed by God, with Lot, Lot's wife, and Lot's two daughters, how God destroyed the city for it's sin, whilst Lot and his Daughters moved forward and didn't look back, Lot's wife had to witness the destruction and for that, for turning and looking back was turned into a pillar of salt.

When I think of her, I feel like that pillar, that I am simply staring back at something that will destroy me, I take a step forward every day, but clear I am not far enough yet.

All I can say to (You) and myself is that, Anon, don't let yourself become the pillar of salt, there is nothing to be gained by looking back onto what has been, only what can be done when looking forward can we truly move on and find peace.

I thought I was over her and now I’m feeling exactly the same shit I did all over again

She rejected my follow on twitter but still hasn’t responded on Steam, what does this mean?

I feel empty, satisfied and immortal. My mind is filled with various observations about the events and systems around me, but I lack the network and the ability to share them with people. Maybe I am just not that smart, and these are grandiose beliefs. I would just like to meaningfully contribute to the foundations of the colony. But the tribes and individuals of the colony certainly have wildly varying perspectives on what is meaningful or necessary, and the understanding of tradeoffs over a timeline seem to be hard to understand for many.

>>33548958
Idk. It's all just insane, why would the mind ever start escaping from the sole purpose of what evolution is aiming at. Which is I suppose an optimal continuation of life in its observed environment or something. Why the sudden abstraction of a larger intelligent observatory that even sees what causes its own action. Why didn't the bad parts that cause trouble when paired with the former just drop out. Maybe too early. Perhaps just typical distribution of mistakes that happen with such a chaotic process and environment. Then again we did dominate the surface it was trying to propagate on, and even gained the ability to see and move across all of the previous abstractions, also the ability possibly look beyond, whatever the fuck the dimensional direction is Plato's allegory blah blah. Maybe all this sounds completely retarded in the future.

i should have lied and said i didnt miss my ex at all when her roomate asked if i missed her.

Now feel like shes going to go to her and tell her that i said "i could lie if i said i never thought about her"

Just confronted Tammy again about bending my finger while I was sleeping. She denied it and said that she wasn’t sleeping inside the house that night but she was. I remember Derek saying that she was in her room while he was on the couch so I’m pretty sure she’s lying about two things. They’re just fucked up and they wanted to fuck me up because they’re fucked up and that’s how it’s always been.

Fuck my dad for choosing her to be my mom and fuck him for not believing me.

I was up until 2am that night and she was certainly sleeping in her room. I remember. Lying bitch.

You are always there
Just underneath the surface
If I dare to look

>>33549215
Why me?

My mother physically assaulted me yet again after another diacussion. While I was curled up in a ball crying like a faggot I said "I hate you" and "you are a monster". She actually stopped and has been sad and crying all day. Should I apologize? Fuck me man, what have I done in my past life to deserve all of this?

me: I think I have narcissistic personality disorder.
her: you keep trying to diagnose yourself for attention. stop making everything about you.

...Yeah, you mean exactly how a narcissist does? The fuck?

>>33549476
Well, she's probably either crying to try to get you to cave in and apologize her, so she doesn't have to change, or she's crying because she realized she's a monster and needs to change. Either way, you don't want to apologize unless you hit her first or something.

>>33549235
Maybe we were meant to be, or maybe you were just there at the right time
Either way I can't be rid of you even when you're gone

>>33549530
Be free. Let them go.

Do you see yourself fuckin' with a nigga like me
On the low though so your friends won't know...

>>33549530
Who is it? You said they are gone, when is the last time you talked to them?

No matter what I do my dad thinks I'm retarded and blames it on my mom. I mean I was a poorly socialized retard but I made friends in highschool and went outside a lot. Recently gained a lot of muscle and lost fat too. He's just pissed off I can't find a job. Showed him a list of the 400 places I've applied to within the year and he doesn't believe me. My old co-op place won't hire me and says they're too full atm. Fuck my life.

>>33549476
Don't apologize to assholes who dont deserve it. It's infuriating when moms spend your whole life demeaning and abusing you, and when you give them hardly a taste of their own medicine, they shrivel up and play victim. You don't owe her patience if she feels she can't give it to you.

>>33549766
Where do you live?

Derek says he doesn’t remember the next day whether he was at work or not but he’s assuring me that she slept in the rv that night. He’s lying too.

They know what they are doing and they are crooked

He just said he was at home the next day which is false.

He went to work and came home because she called. He just lies.

maybe if i had people who actually cared about me i wouldn't have to put on this front to get attention and adoration from people who I have undeniable proof would absolutely hate me if they found out one little fact about me.

Now he’s saying he doesn’t remember anything

>>33549870
>found out one little fact about me.
Care to share?

>>33549874
I jerk off to anime incest porn sometimes. I've seen these same people get unreasonably upset about it to others, telling them to kill themselves over it. I know it's weird, but nothing to fucking kill myself over, man.

>>33549893
Certainly nothing to kill yourself over, anon.

I always wanted white kids but Im dating this caramel Latina girl and I like her. We havent had sex yet.

I’ve gathered all the insight and perspective I need. I just have to stay away from them the best I can. My “parents” have always been psychopaths and unfortunately it reflects on me. Nothing I can do about it except try to stay calm and persevere.

I depend on shelter from twisted individuals and it’s just one of my many curses. I really fucked up when I quit my last job.

I did quit my last job before this happened but still, I fucked up.

My reputation and quality of life has diminished so much just from trying to get help for real problems.

I wonder if you liked that I tried to kill myself after you left.

>>33550201
Didn't know that. No, I don't like that. I still have feelings for you, but you were into someone else before I was.

>>33550056
What is anyone supposed to do? I don’t know either. I should have done a lot of things differently.

https://youtu.be/p4B79nTKIBQ?si=amONVqa13q1aXlNY
I didn’t post this for u. I’m sorry if I made u think I did. It’s just what I listen to on New Year’s Eve.

Adonai eloheinu
Adonai echad

Turn out one of my opps straight up fucking died lol
A cheater AND a homewrecker dying young(er), rest in piss bozo you will not be missed

Why did you leave me?

>>33550401
Forget them anon, I’ve exhausted all the possibilities and unless you’re a narcissist, you didn’t deserve it

>>33550401
Was afraid we aren't compatible, even if we love each other, I'm afraid that love will sour.

>>33550405
If that's what you want, fine, I'll be forgotten of you.

>>33550406
Why were you so cruel about it?

>>33550401
I had to. We were killing each other.

>>33550413
Because I was also being bombarded about news with you and him in it. So I'm like -- that's a lot of pressure and it pissed me off. Even if it was fake, it still hurt.

>>33550420
>news with you and him in it.
What the fuck do you mean?

>>33550425
Nothing. Nevermind.

>>33550426
No, explain.

>>33550430
News about what you're doing with him, like special dates and shit. I get that type of news, Idk why.

>>33550431
You aren’t the right person.

>>33550436
Okay.

Please, help me

>>33550460
How?

>>33550460
What do you need help with?

>>33550462
>>33550463
Give me the strength to do what I need to do.

>>33550479
As long as it's not killing yourself.

>>33550481
No, not again. That would break your heart.

>>33550485
Yes, it would. God be with you.

>>33550485
What do you need to do?

>>33550487
>>33550489
I need to become whole.

>>33550491
How?

>>33550491
There are things I'm working on, but if it gets to it, we'll see each other.

>>33550492
I need to sweep away the darkness in my own heart.
>>33550494
I hope so. I’d like that.

>>33550510
>I need to sweep away the darkness in my own heart.
What kind of darkness is in your heart? How do you plan to sweep it away?

>>33550520
The darkness of old sins. The pain from being hurt by others. I want to let it go, to forgive them. I want to be free and my authentic self, the me that loves others.

>>33550527
Who hurt you? What did they do?

am i really in the wrong for being so untrusting of others? am i in the wrong for being so pessimistic about the near future?

>>33550530
My stepmother, my sister, and my friend from high school. They molested me and stole my innocence. The rest is whatever. It has created so much rage in me, to this day. And fear.

Quick advice

TLDR

Girlfriend got a new boyfriend (without officially breaking up with me). A few months later she says she cant talk to me because her boyfriend said not to talk to me so she blocked me Yesterday i saw her roommate and she asked i missed her. this morning she unblocks and texts me


My heart says reply now. my mind says stay away

>>33550570
If I were you, I would stay away. But I understand the heart is a dumbass, I've done stupid things too. Do you honestly think you could trust her after this? I don't think you could, really.

>>33550532
You think it makes a difference if you bark after every step, it really doesn't

I keep having suicidal ideation every day. Every facet of my life is falling apart

>>33549893
I don’t hate you at all anon

>>33550595
well thank you, but you don't care about me either. we're strangers

I'd appreciate if you start thinking before you post, like me

>>33550613
K.

>>33550613
i don't wanna.

>>33550618
If you have to post something without thinking make it a nice post

>>33550622
okay. can i be neutral?

>>33550626
I don't know what's your "neutral" but let's say yes

>>33550602
Well if we weren’t strangers i still wouldn’t hate you. Now what

>>33550580
i guess she made that decision for me. I decided to reply. She messaged me. Deleted the messsage and then blocked me again.

Its not even 5am!!!!

>>33550652
I'm sorry she's playing with your heart like that. She's probably going through something herself, but you don't need that shit in your life.

>>33550622
Look, I'm being nice

>>33550655
You're supposed to be nice to me, lol

>>33550635
i don't know if you know that. i'm really good at sabotaging my relationships with others.

>>33550661
Oh okay. How are you feeling? Do you want me to draw you a picture on mspaint with my trackpad?

>>33550667
Generate a new miku, thanks

>>33550670
I drew a miku but she's a lobster.

>>33550688
A sea cockroach, nice

I hurt my finger in a mower blade yesterday and now i can't even masturbate

>>33550655
Yeah, now im overthinking about what she was trying to do
was she thinking oh he misses me ill message go through the steps of unblocking messaging and then blocking again

was she trying to be mean? in a i can message you but you cant message me

In this moment, I’m crying over you. Don’t tell anyone, ok?

>>33550791
I just...Uh, wish I could make you happy...

>>33550790
From my limited perspective, she could either be trying to fuck with you on purpose to get you to miss her more, or she does regret what she did, but not enough for it to matter. She could be indecisive on whether she wants you back or not, maybe she misses something specific about you, or she's just mad she can't have her cake and eat it too.
But what seems clear is she didn't respect/appreciate you enough when she had you. It's understandable to overthink it especially late at night/early in the morning. But the sooner you move on the better methinks

I've been considering quitting YouTube outright and replacing it with random anime. Part of me thinks this is a smart move, the other part feels like it's dumb. Either side is deeply autistic in its reasoning. I don't like how random YouTube is, getting home from work and suddenly you're watching an hour long video on the history of telegraph poles, followed by some random jazz fusion albums, followed by fast paced snippets from some loser's wacky stream. I had no idea this stuff would make up my evening and take up my free time, it gives me a fucking headache just having all of this disconcordant information forced into my head. Then you try a Watch Later list and that gets bigger and bigger and it's this utter chore looking back at you. I don't care if watching yet another romcom seasonal is immature, at least I know what I'm getting into each time and there's an illusion of "progress" involved where you can move on when it's all over. I'm not even taking the holier than thou route of picking up a manly hobby that'll totally fix my problems and have me knee deep in clunge, I just want to escape the void of content creation and be in control again. Am I the only one who feels this way?

What do you call a t-shirt with sweat stains? A pit crew...

What do you call a Djinn that practices stage magic? Hou-Genie...

What do Jamaicans think about getting a haircut? They dread it...

Of course he's a good actor, his name's not Cuba Badding Jr...

How do cats communicate with each other? They whis-purr...

It's crazy they call baseball a game and not a BATtle...

Why was the athlete crying? His game reached the top tear...

>>33540551 (OP)
I want so many women, bros. I've peeked behind the curtains of what it's like to have good game and just always meeting new people. I love my girlfriend a lot. But I've left behind porn and masturbation for more than 3 months now and this has brought me such a primal desire to want to go out and meet new women. I love the whole dance so much. The way they flirt, their beauty, their bodies, their giving nature (if they have one)...

For a while in our relationship my gf was cool with a possible threesome. Then I kinda realized just how messy things could get if another chick got involved plus it kinda clashed morally with my worldview. Now, that I have this burning desire I kinda want that again.

I want milfs to straddle my face, rub their wetness up and down me, jump on top of me... Goddamn it!!!

>>33542287
Unironically this >>33542542

Know you gotta watch your back, 'cause you not just anybody...

I’m already missing her. She said she’s gonna miss me and I can’t remember if I said it back but I think (hope) I did. Gonna be a good adventure but fuck will it be nice to see her again after it all

I'm in love with someone who is either too uninterested or too depressed to care, I have no idea how to move on. I may see him tomorrow and all I feel is dread.

I wish I was dead

>>33551178
Why?

i'm upset that i'm lonely and have no friends, but i only have myself to blame.

i pushed everyone away, even when they reached out to me.

now i'm here, alone, typing this out.

i literally slept at 03:42 today and woke up at 11:53.

i then decided to spend the next two hours in bed fantasising about fake scenarios that i've thought of multiple times in the past.

the only reason i'll never kill myself is because of two things: good music and good food.

how fucking pathetic.

>>33551195
Because I am alone

>>33551212
You don't want to be alone? Then why are you?

>>33551215
I cannot connect with others

>>33551228
That doesn't mean you don't have anyone. That just means you don't see them as anything other than another person. Which can be a good thing.

>>33551236
No one checks on me, asks about my day, any of that. They can’t, I built this prison myself

>>33551249
They would if they knew you wanted them to. You built a prison but want to die, what's up with that?

>>33551258
Death looks like the only way out
>They would
They wouldn’t, they’re more than happy to keep me in here and trot me out when it’s good for them

>>33551262
>Death looks like the only way out
You can literally do anything else.
>They wouldn’t, they’re more than happy to keep me in here and trot me out when it’s good for them
I would, but I don't know you.

>>33551269
Doing things doesn’t free me
>I don’t know you
That is the crux. Thanks, anon

>>33551274
>Doing things doesn’t free me
What do you expect is on the other side?
>That is the crux. Thanks, anon
Idk what you want me to say. If this is you, I didn't know it was you.

>>33551281
> What do you expect is on the other side?
Catharsis
> Idk what you want me to say.
Nothing, I said thanks so you could leave gracefully
> If this is you
When’s your brother’s wedding?

>>33551292
Wrong thought then. You're not her. Idk how to help you, wish I could.

>>33551310
Appreciate the sentiment

>>33551316
Keep that in your heart.

>>33551319
Kinda hard to

>>33551328
How come?

>>33551330
I think the main driver for me is that I am convinced people only want to be close to me to exploit me

>>33551338
Okay, so you have a hard time trusting. Someone out there loves you for you.

>>33551347
That doesn’t seem possible in this moment, they’d only love me if I wasn’t like this

>>33551354
You'd be surprised what people tolerate when they love someone.

>>33551357
I am unlovable, genuinely feels not possible

>>33551368
What makes you say this?

>>33551370
Being molested for years made me unable to connect physically and I’m so schizo I can’t connect emotionally

>>33551375
>Being molested for years made me unable to connect physically
I'm sorry you went through that. What do you think a connection is?
>I’m so schizo I can’t connect emotionally
But you know what it feels like, obviously, or else you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

>>33551385
Aren’t you supposed to not dissociate when someone touches you
>But you know what it feels like, obviously, or else you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.
based on what I’ve seen others do and say at least

>>33551401
>Aren’t you supposed to not dissociate when someone touches you
That comes with trauma.
>based on what I’ve seen others do and say at least
Connect how you wanna connect, not how someone else tells you to connect.

>>33551412
Makes sense. I am pretty sure it makes me unlovable. No one is going to chase me out of this with how tight I am locked up

>>33551447
>I am pretty sure it makes me unlovable
People don't love because it checks off a list, they love because they care about the person. There are probably plenty of people that care about you.
>No one is going to chase me out of this with how tight I am locked up
Especially if you lie to them. ;) But that's to be looked over. How do you think you want to connect with someone? If you can't answer, then I'd think on it.

>>33550570
My brain says "Reply that what she did was unethical and that people around her shouldn't trust her" and then block her

>>33551474
What are different ways to connect? My first instinct was to say fully

I want to do bee keeping. I think that'd be interesting.

>>33551498
You can connect in commonality.

>>33551526
Hobbies and such?

>>33551537
Yes, that's exactly what I was thinking. Pick an interest, any interest.

>>33551543
I’ll do my best, thank you, I appreciate you sitting with me

>>33551560
Anytime. Good luck.

>>33547752
Just chill for a while and don't let it get to you. You will find something new that you want to do at some point, maybe creative, maybe something you never thought of.

>be me
>28 years old
>never had a girlfriend
>had sex with hookers over the years
>told myself things were fine this way
>start new job
>a few months in
>be introduced to the most wonderful woman
>I think she’s so beautiful but beyond that she’s so friendly and warm but not in a fake way at all, so much that it’s almost overwhelming
>I can’t stop thinking about her
>she’s so popular and well liked in the company and I’m just this awkward standoffish autist that’s kinda there and doesn’t talk to many people
>she probably doesn’t even remember my name
>this woman has crashed my entire world and I lie in bed crying for hours, I don’t want to be alone and detached and hiding behind irony and shitposting and acting smug and cold and indifferent towards anyone
>for the first time in my life I feel so lonely and I’m aware of how lonely I am
>I’ve accepted that I can’t have this woman from my work but now I’m desperate for love like I’ve never been before
>I feel like something’s eating away at my chest and heart
>its 2AM and I can’t sleep
>Im supposed to go running tomorrow, I just want to run and get the endorphins so I can forget the pain
>but I don’t want to forget the pain I don’t want to numb myself with online shitposting and video games and mindless doomscrolling
>im so isolated and a bit unusual and I struggle so much in groups I don’t know how to meet people let alone a girlfriend
>I don’t know what to do

>>33549812
Jeetopia

I ghosted my psychiatrist and I'm too embarrassed to go back. I wanted to handle things by myself for a while but I'm having trouble managing my responsibilities.

I have a girl on snapchat who likes sending me nudes just sent me a video playing with herself with the caption "thinking of you" and while I think it's hot my doomer mind can't help but wonder how many other people she sent that too

I seem to have some problem with my facial expression. I'm not completely expressionless but a lot of people have told me that they have a hard time reading me. There have also been instances where I've had "inappropriate affect" ( apparently I was grinning while describing my suicidal thoughts to a psychiatrist). I'm now worried that people think I'm creepy

>>33540551 (OP)
I can tell you one thing, my tongue would be all over you

My head hurts. I don't think I barely drank any water yesterday.

I packed up my PS2 games. Damn my backlog is getting bad

I don't think I'm ever going to be happy or satisfied with myself.

Born to >yes mommy ill put on the pink thigh highs
Forced to >SIR AIRMAN X REPORTS AS ORDERED

The word "traumadumping" has completely put me off talking to friends about my issues

I'm considering buying new PC parts after my debts are all cleared and... I just feel like I could spend my money on literally anything else.
I have a better career lined up, but I just feel like I'm missing so much more - I have no girlfriend to keep me company, my eating habits are shit, I need to learn how to drive, maybe I should travel or go to some concerts again.
Right now I know I'm not happy staying in my room.

Why are those women such awful people

I'm trying to help you and you are giving me nothing.

>>33552713
We are running out of time! No more horseshit.

What? Tell me more.

>>33553057
What women?

>>33552257
Yeah, same.

>>33553372
I think I would like to shower with. We can do it in the shower too

Why the fuck ps5 controllers so expensive like damn bro I just wanna come home and relax and I’m over here stick drifting like I have two left feet. Consoles been out I think 5 years, makes no sense

I kinda feel bad for my ex gf's latest ex bf. She was 350 lbs when they started dating (she was always that big, I love fat bitches) but got weight loss surgery early in their relationship. They both went to the gym together and even he lost a decent amount of weight. They only dated for a year and a half and she's already post tiktoks about being into gym bros and blue collared guys. Meanwhile he's posting more pictures of himself and what he does while working out and nobody on his friends list is liking or commenting on it. She clearly dumped him now that's she not as fat and is trying to go after hotter guys. Women are brutal

>>33553554
She still has saggy skin and the guys that will date her will not like that

>>33553554
>>33553574

That's what you don't get about women. If you try to change women, they will often change but resent you. So you devalue them and rejoice in the sagging flesh as a deterrent to other men. If I can't have you, no one will want you.

You guys sound insecure and immature btw
You don't care about her health (mental or physical) - just the way she looks.

I made fun of him for ejaculating so fast but it was hot and he could do it many times in a row. That was a first to see... some magic right there.

Jena, you are out of your mind and it was way too early for you to enter another relationship, especially with me.

You have pictures and videos of your ex who cheated on you on your phone and refuse to delete it. Now all you do is spend everyday talking about the dead weight you've lost or gotten rid of finally when I never really thought of you that way. It damages how I think of you, and it validates my feelings about you trying to 'wish me the best'.

I thought that we did great together but yeah you never got over your ex. It would have been different if he didn't cheat on you, but thats what happened; I can understand a long time relationship ending and missing someone that didn't do you wrong.

You messed up way too much in a row finally making a lease on an apartment months away without asking me, while being crazy at the same time. We never got past that point and I don't think you ever will get past that point, instead blaming me and missing your cheating ex.

I'm glad I am the person I know I am, and more honorable / respectable than you.

>>33553630
I'm fine with her losing weight. I think she still looks great and I hope she's happier in life. I ended things with her for a few reasons, one was because we weren't looking for the same things in life and I didn't want to deny her that. She wanted weight loss surgery because she wants kids, but I don't want kids. Also, and I know this is mean to say, but she's kind of a loser. I hate to say this as well, but red pill guys are right, women with high body counts are very difficult to date. When she dated me, which was about 2 years ago, she told me she lost count of her body count at around 100 and had an onlyfans, but stopped it because she didn't make much money, like $800 in total. It's a long story and I'm too lazy to type it all out so I'm leaving at that.

Really struggling to find a meaning with life if I will never get a wife and a family
Like why even exist?

I see her in my minds eye, when I think I'm over her, she reappears when I close my eyes.
How tragic and ironic it is to still see her in such a positive light when I'm sure she has nothing but contempt for me, I don't know how to remember the woman I left rather than the woman I loved

One of the smartest signs of emotional intelligence is being able to show emotional unintelligence when you need to
For example, when a person is just not worth you crying over or worrying over and you just work around their neediness

Are there any other white nationalists that are in a relationship/married to an ethno-nationalist of a different race? I met my husband after mentioning 1488 and the black sun and at a gas station, but he is sort of the obnoxious AIM Red Power My land was stolen boohoo types. At the time I thought like it was kinda funny because of the White Supremacist and Black Gf meme, but sometimes we get into real arguments over race and I feel kind of ashamed for race mixing. He’s also apart of Native American Church and I’m Catholic, but he wants any kids to be raised solely “traditional”. Has my autism fucked my life up?

>>33553384
It's only you, that's all I want. I want you to know that. If I say anything else about someone, it's because I'm confused about the situation. I'm angry but also relieved.

>>33554347
I'll just be your secret lover

George Carlin was 100% correct about golf. If I was emperor of the world, I'd ban golf at penalty of death. Soccer as well, because fuck that garbage and the people who participate in it.

>>33554384
Are you married? idk

You owe me. Man up.

I BROKE UP WITH MY GIRLFRIEND A MONTH AGO
IT HAS BEEN EXTREMELY PAINFUL AND WEDNESDAY I LEFT THERAPY THINKING "IM FINALLY DONE FEELING SHIT"
THEN THURSDAY SHE TEXTS ME SAYING SHE WANTS TO TALK. GOD FUCKING DAMN IT. MY WHOLE WORLD FLIPS. I STILL LOVE HER, I STILL WANTED TO TRY AGAIN.
WE DECIDED WE WOULD TALK TOMORROW. ALL THIS TIME, IVE BEEN IN CONSTANT ANXIETY OVER IT. TODAY I TEXT HER TO SEE IF EVERYTHINGS RIGHT FOR TOMORROW, AND SHE TAKES 4 FUCKING HOURS TO ANSWER, AND SHE WONT BE ABLE TO BECAUSE LAST SUNDAY WAS FATHERS DAY BUT THEY APPARENTLY COULDNT DO ANYTHING THEN, SO THEY WILL DO TOMORROW, SO WE NEED TO RESCHEDULE

AND NOW IM LIKE, SHE WITH SOMEONE ELSE. SHE HAS TO BE. OR MAYBE SHES PLAYING ME SOMEHOW. AND MY ANXIETY IS AT THE FUCKING TOP OF EVERYTHING. GOD DAMN IT.

GOD
FUCKING
DAMN IT

feeling a bit confused atm. i made an online friend recently but he comes across like he doesn’t want to talk to me at all, often giving one word answers and not really saying things that leave it open to continue the convo in any way.
what throws me off though is he is the one who added me to begin with and he's also the one to messages me first the few days we've been friends.

The simulation is breaking

>tfw im a cute puppy looking seldomly self harming mentally ill short carefree and friendly acting boy who works in intelligence
i cant get over it lmao

>>33554720
I don't owe you anything, you owe me if anything

>>33554728
My ex bf would do this shit. I figured out that it was just boundary testing. I didn't even respond the last 2 times he messaged me. He's a raging alcoholic now and still lives at home with his parents at 22. He was never going anywhere in life and even if he had not stood me up, I'm happy he did because all he wanted to do was trap and control me.

I'm so brainrotted... I bought a whole ass jacket today because it was dark green and reminded me of yuuri from girls last tour.... was thinking "shit this would be a great cosplay" but I'm second guessing myself now. Who'd even recognize who I'm dressed up as? :(

>>33554991
What do I owe you for, in your mind?

>>33555035
Of course I'll wear it like I would a normal jacket... it's so fucking cozy. But I'll be a little sad about the whole Halloween situation. I'm not even blonde and blue eyed like her so that makes it even less recognizable augh. I don't know what to dress up as honestly it's driving me crazy. And I can't even match with someone else doing a chito cosplay!!!!!! Why!!!!!!

>>33553701
Ew shes nasty asf

>>33555039
Still waiting...

>>33554943
This is a good thing

>>33555078
Probably but so are you. You're ugly asf - at least they had someone to love, they loved each other. You have no one and likely never will.

>>33555039
For not leaving me alone, obviously. You know what you usually do with parasites? You remove them and burn them so they don't leave eggs

>>33555131
>For not leaving me alone

How did I not leave you alone? I don't talk to you, I don't text you. It's the opposite. You stalk me. I don't know anything about your life whatsoever... idk if you're married, if you have kids, etc. I never even thought of you for YEARS and YEARS until recently. You didn't exist to me.

But you know everything about me, don't you? You're projecting.

>>33555168
Parasites will parasite, it's just your nature

>>33555181
I hate liars. You're a liar. YOU ARE THE PARASITE.

You're just like your father - the psychopath.

>>33555193
>I hate liars
I know you hate yourself, doesn't change much

>>33555195
You genuinely deserve to die larper.

>he doesn't know
This is the larp general

>>33555228
Meh, you're still a fugly subhuman. Inside and out... and you know it.

>>33555231
Womp womp

>>33555240
You know it. You're unloved, no one likes you, you're a psychopath that can't connect to other people and that's why you're here, trying to cause as much as possible to random people so they will be just as miserable as you are.

>>33555249
Case in point

>>33555259
I'm not the one that just admitted to larping a random person, for absolutely no reason. You're a hateful cunt.

>>33555270
Let's agree to disagree

>>33555281
I just got a vision, weird...I don't get this often - you're going to die soon... I think it's cancer. There is a cancer growing in you now.

It isn’t fair that my right to own a firearm has been taken. I’m not about to get into an altercation from road rage and pull a gun. I can be completely fucking normal and responsible with a gun. Hopefully after 18 months I can regain my rights.

Hoping. Dangerous.

Waking up at midnight after sleeping all day. My hip really hurts from being in bed so long. I just start hyperventilating immediately and pulling at my hair because being alive is so overwhelmingly terrible. I just want it to end.

>>33551347
I think this is really rare. No one is committed anymore and wants to stay with someone no matter what. I think I found my person and I'm know I'm so lucky.

>>33554253
Work on perspective. How would you feel if someone you loved was treating you the way you are treating them. Now imagine that they are your perfect person. How would you react in their place?

extremely mortified at how asymmetrical my face is after taking passport photos and i have a total bitch face its over

>>33555116
You will forever wait unless you take action. I have an opportunity for My perfect person with love and I will take it.

>>33555201
Colton is the larper

>>33557160
That's awesome.

>>33557374
Do I say it would be or it will be? He hasn't chosen me yet and there's more to it. I have a lot of dreams and a lot of hope but I also have a lot of fear, not about him, but about losing him

It could be so simple though. I could just jump on him and love him as he loves me and he'll take me in every way as I have him in every way.

Like I wouldn't have to deal with anything or work through it. Just jump on him.

>>33557482
That sounds sweet af. I hope they feel the same way you feel about them.

The solution to escaping weebery is to swap 2010-2025 anime for 1978-2009 anime. It's that simple. Why did I never try that before even though I already knew it? Did I just feel safe watching endless seasonal romcoms? Must've been my hentai addiction talking since the newer stuff had more content. I never used to watch uwu anime exclusively, a younger me would have laughed at what I've become. Return to your roots from time to time, fellow losers.

>>33557493
It's complicated. He has a soulmate bond with a girl and they are separated and dealing with that. Twin flames (soulmates} journey.

We spent a lot of time together playing video games and talking on discord. I know him really well and fell in love with him. He's done more for me than anyone ever has and that's from a distance because of online. There's no one else like him.

But he won't reciprocate Love and being with me because his heart is for her. It's really difficult to deal with emotionally because I have these feelings for him that I want to not just talk about with him but live in it with him it's that makes sense. He makes me feel this warmth and fullness. And I'm really attracted to him, like a lot. And I know he's attracted to me because not to be pompous but I know I'm really attractive and the way in which he looks at me. There's this aggression and hunger in his eyes. But every time it gets to the point that we're on the border of progressing from light flirting to lust I can see him separate and I don't know how to describe it but physically I can see him hurt it's in his eyes and his voice. And he is unable to move past her and be with me..

We were supposed to hang out a couple days ago and then a thing happened and he's gone. I was planning on while we were playing the game to just take off my clothes and touch myself to see if I can push him past that girl and feel it for me instead. I just needed one more day. And now he's gone
There's something that happened and He's gone.

>>33557834
I would write him a letter about how you feel. Maybe send it on the service or device you use to play games.

All the mean girl bullies will be there today

>>33557922
Just freeze them out.

Fuck god fuck god fuck god

If you take your love away from me, I'll go crazy, I'll go insa--------ne...

>>33557886
I have. I wrote a bunch of messages and they all say unread. So that means he hasn't opened our chat. Discord is the main for us. I don't have his phone and I would like to send him a handwritten letter telling him how much I love him in a package with things about me to feel me and stuff to help him feel better but I don't have his address.

>>33558080
What do you think he's trying to do?

Where the hoes at? Many people have asked this question but nobody can ever answer. We know for a fact hoes exist. Nobody disputes this. But where are they?

>>33558087
He said he was going home to his next life. He said goodbye and now all my messages are unread and he doesn't have any online activity.

I even sent him some pics of me In something I bought to wear when I visit him . It was supposed to be a surprise and I know it's selfish, I felt like sending them that then he would respond.

I am not valued in any shape or form, and that makes me sad, even though I knew that from the start and there's nothing to be upset about.

>>33558561
Awe anon, You are special in your own way

>>33558561
You are cute. I value your cuteness. I bet you have other valuable qualities. If people do not value you, it's not your problem but theirs!