Thread 21522971

ITT We share stories of food poisoning

A tale of acidic hell.
>be me
>days of consuming soda, sodium, sugar, coffee culminating in high ph levels and acid in tummy
>one afternoon decide to "make" soup
>use a can of Amy's vegetable soup in the mix, along with a can of Amy's lentil soup and other ingredients + actual veggies
>notice Amy's lentil shit expired over two years ago
>"this is fine" since I've eaten expired cans before, though not from over 2 years
>add in other ingredients to the soup mix and simmer for a while
>eat soup... it's good
>hours pass, it's night time now
>decide to drink coffee to stay up
>fall asleep any way
>have dreams of being in some Halo type of game sustaining heavy fire, ducking in almost pitch black darkness
>wake up couple of hours later with tummy feeling weird
>uh oh .........
>constant trips to the bathroom to produce mile long shits that coil up
>heartburn to the max
>feel acidic fluids rushing from tummy constantly
>dry heave and puke a little
>that smell, I recognize it
>Amy's Lentil Soup
>every time I take a sip of water I'd dry heave and wretch moments later so drinking water becomes sickening
>spend entire early morning hours walking around the house in a zombie state, dry heaving and puking small amounts bc it's too painful and the smell of Amy's lentil shit in my mouth makes me puke more
>finally diarrhea begins instead of slow coiling shits
>walk around like a dazed zombie and dry heave or puke until the sun comes up

Fucking lucky I didn't go to the hospital to get my stomach pumped that night. Fuck. There were too many factors involved to only blame an expired can of soup.

>>21522971 (OP)
I just made a big poopy doo doo shit, with lots of piss, farts, and feces.
BRAAAAP

>>21522971 (OP)
never had food poisoning my life, not even when eating fish that had been stored in questionable ways at my family's summerhome

>>21522983
This is a food poisoning thread, not a satisfying lifetime events thread.

>>21522991
Lucky bastard. I can count a few severe instances throughout the past, and at least one tummy ache and/or mild vomitting per year.

>>21522971 (OP)
>be like 8 at the time
>dad buys me taco hell
>oh cool, beef chalupa
>eats it
>20 mins later
>massive headache
>stomach goes guguglguggugbglgmfg
>what the fuck
>feel like absolute shit, gets a bucket
>soon as I feel the vomit climb my throat I completely miss the bucket and vomit all over my PS2
>fuck.jpg
>dad walks in and asks if im okay, gives me a glass of ginger ale
>puts glass on table, completely misses it
>glass tips over and spills ginger ale all over my PS2
>definitely broken at this point
>cry myself to sleep

>>21523004
how? genuinely interested

>>21522971 (OP)
Not really "food poisoning" but I had a tapeworm last year and pulling a part of it out of my ass is still haunting to think back on.

>>21523017
Wow. I'm scared to ask if it was thick or thin... that's nightmare fuel either way.

>>21523023
thanks bro i cri about it to this day, still didnt beat Spider-Man 2

>>21523009
Most of the time it was frozen pidser related. I remember a lot of undigested veggie, green peppers and tomatoes. Always at night with water bottles filled up with vomit. Felt like hell every time. Not fun :(

>>21523036
fuck off, racist chud

>>21523036
I'm black, nigga

>>21522971 (OP)
>in cambodia with friend
>decide to go to koh rong island
>eat some seafood fried rice just before ferry
>arrive at hostel on the beach, is absolutely beautiful
>having fun, drinking, meeting people
>suddenly feel really fucking bad
>go to room
>start shitting guts out
>puking as well
>have to shit every 30 mins, every time is agonising pain
>otherwise lying in shitty bunk bed with no ac or fan
>can't eat or drink anything for three days
>hallucinating
>the whole time friend is out having a sick time
>comes in each day to see how i'm doing
>"ahh mate I'm really sorry to say this but I'm having such a good time, snorkelling, kayaking, meeting girls etc"
>mfw
>didn't leave the hostel room once until we checked out, missed the entire koh rong section of the trip

>>21523039
what? food poisoning from a frozen pizza? there has to be something wrong with your gut flora

>>21523064
>with no ac or fan
>hallucinating

Holy shit. And it almost sounds like your friend slipped something into your food.

>>21523067
>there has to be something wrong with your gut flora
Yeah I thought about that. It was always something my body refused to process/digest or high amount of acidic contents. Sometimes it was from pidser I ordered too. There's a soda called Brio made from some citrus fruit that's almost always linked to these instances too. Otherwise I have no problem with pidser.

Im cooking up some food poisoning atm, left some meat out for 7 hours in a vacume bag, not sure if i can eat it or not.

Never had it myself but my phillipino sous chef would actually get it consistently once every 2 weeks or so by always getting a bite at hole in the wall donair shops
It was actually impressive and it kinda threw me off of donairs since alot of places cannot keep the entire mass of meat at a food safe temperature
His immune system probably can fight off anything now

>>21523064
It probably wasn't the seafood fried rice. Only a moron blames something they ate 20 minutes ago for their current illness
>>21523078
Something fishy is going on

>>21523107
>20 minutes ago
it was like 8 hours later that i started feeling ill
>>21523078
that would be pretty funny tbf

>>21522971 (OP)
I drank half a bottle of clearance wine, one miller high life and a chelada last night. My body violently rejected that ridiculousness as it should

>What Should You Eat and Drink After You Get Food Poisoning?
https://www.goodrx.com/conditions/food-poisoning/what-to-eat-drink-after-food-poisoning?srsltid=AfmBOoprXVY4P2cNVbMGgYp6xiODqPrrxcrO60l9zXj1HxZ8n5LjMvRZ


>fluids with electrolytes good
>bland foods like pasta, potatoes, and rice good
>sugar bad
>stay off caffeine
>stay off diet drinks with artificial sweeteners bc they're hard to digest (!)
>dairy, acidic, fatty foods bad
>salty foods good? wtf. doubt.jpg
>hydrate plenty

>>21522971 (OP)
>have dreams of being in some Halo type of game sustaining heavy fire, ducking in almost pitch black darkness
obvious metaphor for your body fending off whatever slop concoction u consumed

>>21523139
Salt is good because it IS an electrloyte, and helps your body retain water.
Electrolyte drinks are effectively salty sugar water.

>be in high school
>family orders take out from high end place
>burger I got smelled funny
>eat it and figure if I get sick ill just take off school and play vidya
>within an hour constantly shitting
>nausea kicks in and I force vomit the burger up
>fine the rest of the night
>for the next six years I end up getting food poisoning like symptoms every two to three days
>hundreds of hospital visits
>hundreds of specialist visits
>nobody can figure out why this is happening
>doctors finally give up and refer to me the mayo clinic the next state over
>they figure out whats wrong with me four days
>the burger I ate had a bug in it that went through my system emitting a gas
>the gas paralyzed parts of my stomach and intestines
>I got gastroparesis from a bad burger that crippled me for life
>gastroparesis normally happens when your an unhealthy diabetic
>its so rare outside of that most doctors don't even know you can get it otherwise
im not diabetic btw

>>21522971 (OP)
I went to this burger shack that sells sliders (not White Castle) and they serve theirs with queso cheese or whatever. Tasted nice, so did the fries. After an hour I felt awful, and for the next three hours I was in bed clutching at myself. Read online reviews in the months after from several other people saying they got fucked up from it, too. It's a shame because it tasted good, but I just can't take that risk again, not worth it.

>>21522971 (OP)
got a pack of almonds with too much cyanide or something one time, was violently ill from them, popped blood vessels barfing

>>21523064
I've had legit food poisoning just twice in my life and both instances have been while in Cambodia. Some crazy gut bugs over there. I shat myself and my hotel bed both visits. Decent food over there but nothing special as far as SEA cuisine goes, and of course the local "real" food got me fucked up, I now have a policy of subsisting off Western goyslop and bottled drinks whenever I travel to countries like that.

>>21523888
>>21523952

Jesus.

Didn't happen to me but I witnessed it.
>doing bullshit at motorpool inna army
>didn't give us lunch break so they got us to go meals
>one guy got some chicken that was raw and said he couldn't eat it
>retard staff sergeant yelled at him to eat it
>puked his guts out inside the stryker
>had to clean up the mess
God bless America

>>21524296
To clarify I had to clean up the mess when they drove him to the clinic

>go to chinese place at local food court
>get orange chicken
>fucking love orange chicken
>about 4 hours pass normally
>start getting crazy heartburn and chest pain
>legit think I'm having a heart attack and dying
>sweating bullets, pressure in head
>stand up and crack front door, plan is if the pain gets any worse I'll fall onto it and hopefully a neighbor will see and call 911
>pain suddenly moves from my upper chest to my gut
>stomach makes a weird whining noise like an animal getting abused
>guts cramped up too hard to move very well, shuffle to bathroom doubled over
>sit down
>speedrun entire rest of the digestive process from stomach to ass in about 30 seconds
>can literally feel intestines getting forcefully distended as the fucked up evil chinese food rams its way through them
>its like getting ass raped but in reverse
>gripping the seat like im in a fucking rocket ship and im taking off
>stop sweating and go clammy
>vision starts getting silver and purple spots
>tail end of the final bit of uncooked chicken finally passes out of my asshole
>feel like I just got gaped by 4 giga niggas in a fetish porn shoot
>stand up and almost fall over
>legs like a newborn doe
>go to wipe
>clean break
>entire digestive tract from throat on down is completely empty
>swear off chinese food for life and cross myself to ward off the evil that I just unleashed on my toilet
>
>go back the next week and get the orange chicken again

>>21524334
Kino

>>21522971 (OP)
this one time i ate food and it made me sick
/thread

haha poopoo funny!!

back in 2016 i was at my friends' apartment and they ordered chinese food. my family normally orders from the same spot in our neighborhood but my friends ordered from somewhere else. chill night we're playing overwatch and shooting the shit, food arrives and we start chowing down. i eat an eggroll that in hindsight tasted a bit funny like chemicals, and i NEVER eat eggrolls so i figured that's just how they taste. can't remember how much time passes by but i remember getting really gassy and having a bad headache. i go nonverbal and finally tell them i gotta go cause i'm farting up their bathroom. walk home doubled over in pain thinking i just got bad gas which happened to me once in a while. get home and hang out with my brother while he plays dark souls, suddenly my cramps aren't as bad but i get the chills which is weird cause it was early spring. get a blanket and i'm shivering when a feeling comes over me and says go to the bathroom asap. texted my brother to get me some pepto and spend the rest of the night violently puking up an evil pink concoction of pepto and beef with broccoli. hung out with my friend the next day cause she was in town, had a glass of wine and like two onion rings and had to go home cause i thought i was gonna be sick again. didn't touch chino food for like 5 years after that

>be me
>Friday night time to turn up
>order Chinese
>delivery
>get my Mongolian beef, chow mein, egg rolls
>roommate gets broccoli beef, fried rice
>pig_out.jpg
>fastforward 36 hours
>tummy starts a-rumblin
>uh_oh.png
>race to the toilet
>shit like a mother fucked
>aaaaaaaah
>uh_oh_2.png
>shit like a second mother fucker
>puke like a fucker of mothers
>this goes on for about 48 hours
>mfw that restaurant closes down three weeks later
>mfw I have no face

Just once. Bad tuna. Got so dehydrated I had full body cramps. In hindsight I probably should have gone to a hospital but it's hard to drive when your existence is shitting and puking. Dropped 20lbs during it. Still can't smell tuna with feeling sick and that was 10 years ago.

>go bowling with my church youth group as a kid
>order the onion rings at the bowling alley because my mom gave me some money
>some faggot kid kept asking for my onion rings but I was like no fuck off and kept dipping them in the honey mustard sauce
>gut starts feeling weird by the end of bowling
>shit my absolute brains out when I got home
>pure onion stench like I hadn't even ate them
>only time I ever got food poisoning

>been unhealthy skinny all my life
>girl motivates me to bulk
>gain 30 lbs to be normal weight
>mom compliments me
>get food poisoning from oyster or some shit
>instantly lose all my hard work within 2 weeks
that was 4 years ago. i'm still unhealthily skinny to this day. top 10 hardest thing I've done mentally and physically. the upside is I still like lifting and lift pretty heavy for my weight

>>21523017
>>21523028
I came from a 3rd world country. When we finally got a stable life with medical insurance somehow they discovered I had worms. I drank some medicine and did some sort of anal medicine (not sure if related) then one day I poop and a long fucking worm started coming out and my mom pulled it. it wasn't scary back then but thinking about it now is indescribable

>>21522971 (OP)
>be me
>coming off of leave
>retuning to marine corps base
>haven't eaten in a day and a half due to travel
>get to barracks
>roomate is on leave
>he left food in the fridge
>he won't be back for 2 weeks
>call him
>hey can I eat the leftover wendy's in the fridge
>sure!
>its a chili and sour cream
>devour it at lunch time
>take a nap before checking in and going to work
>wake up in cold sweat
>stomach in pain
>crawl to toilet
>puke hard
>check time I have an hour to check in
>call boss to check me in and tell him whats happening
>puking yellow bile now
>start farting
>he walks into the room
>"sgt... i think i'm poisoned."
>fart
>its not a fart
>sees me shit myself
>checks me and takes me to medical
>can't stop shitting and puking
>shitting literal green muccus
>medical gives me tylonol
>sick in bed for 3 days dying
>woo extra vaction days

>just starting living on my own in my early 20s
>am retarded and didn't no shit about food prep, could barely boil water
>had no money so I would buy those huge bulk family packs of chicken breasts and throw them in the freezer, occasionally digging one out to cook, this would be my food for weeks at a time
>sometimes the frozen breasts would be really difficult to separate from each other so I would throw the entire pack in the microwave, thaw it, then refreeze it after
>did this sometimes 5-6 times a pack, thawing and refreezing over and over
>one day, came home from my shitty job and was starving, go to grab another frozen breast out of the pack
>while thawing, I'm immediately hit by a disgusting odor, chicken not supposed to smell like that
>had absolutely nothing else in my house to eat besides plain rice and it was too late at night to grab some fast food or anything because I worked late shifts
>concerned but extremely hungry, decide to just throw it in the skillet anyway and just cook it so thoroughly all the bad stuff would get cooked out thinking it would be OK
>smell when it starts to sizzle is genuinely sickening, but I ignore it and smother it in seasonings
>overcook the shit out of it
>finally, cut it up and put it over some rice, go to eat
>first bite is the most vile thing I've ever put in my mouth but I was hungry enough to swallow it
>instead of trusting every warning signal my nose and tongue have given me so far, I soldier on for about four more bites, each more nauseating than the last
>give up after that and throw the rest away, still hungry but physically incapable of eating more, go to sleep feeling not great
>it begins in the early hours of the morning, coming out of both ends with extreme force
>was the sickest I've ever been in my life for the next 3 days
I sometimes think I'm lucky to be alive with how retarded I am. Unironically think I could've accidentally killed myself that time.

>>21522971 (OP)
I had real food poisoning, kind that I probably should’ve gone to the doctor for. I had never heard that raw kidney beans were deadly poisonous and I was testing my beans doneness by trying one here and there as they cooked, didn’t take more than a dozen or so to keep me bedridden for a week and always within 10 seconds of a toilet. I was shitting the bed in my sleep, shitting straight liquid and acid without a hint of solids, I was bleeding into the toilet from the acid burns what with how frequently this was happening. Unironically had to wear adult diapers to make it through the night. I really should’ve seen a doctor but I’m American and figured all they’d do is pump the stomach and it was clearly pumping itself. Came out of like 12 lbs lighter and a disgust for the taste and smell of tarragon that lasted a few years. Ever since I can’t help but get miffed when I hear people complain about gas or cramps and calling it food poisoning.

Rural Russia. My hosts left out my meal for hours unrefrigerated. I ate it unsuspecting.

Horrid-smelling green liquid shot out from my mouth and ass for several days. Even plain water was instantly rejected by my body and triggered another round of foul green shit shooting out from my orifices at high velocity. I almost died and recovered only months later.

At my age now it would kill me. Nasty.

>>21526543
Thank you for your service

Posting in a kino thread.

>It‘s Valentines Day
>My wife and I have only been out once alone without the child in the last year
>Her parents can babysit for the evening and then we can all sleep over
>Spa evening is too much time, decide to just head to a local restaurant
>New Indian Restaurant 5 minutes away
>Weird being away from the kids but we’re enjoying ourselves
>My wife ends up getting a custom dish, a combination of two styles basically
>I plow through my tikka masala
>She only get 2/3 done before she taps
>offers me the rest
>We sit enjoying a glass of wine and chatting while I gobble up the rest of the naan and her chicken
>Near the end I start to feel spacy, get the check
>Still just enjoying a romantic time with my wife, we drive to her parents
>Spaciness gradually increases
>My wife is suddenly exhausted and heads to bed with the kids
>I stay up with her father having a beer
>internal monologue ‚Why is he so annoying? Is he always this abrasive?‘
Yes
>Spaciness increases further, nausea kicks in, and a spinning dizzy feeling starts coming in waves
>OhNoPikachu.jpg
>Sprint to the bathroom and begin purging vomiting, getting down to the acid
>Flip around and purge from the other end as well
>Go lay in bed in another room
>routine trips to the toilet for the next hour
>wife wakes up a few hours later and she says she feels awful
>her journey has just begun
>her body didn’t catch it until it had really started to be digested
>We trade off looking after our sleeping children while the other vomits and diarrheas Indian food
>I‘m 80% better after a few more hours
>Wife is still deep in the throws, the purge will last for hours
>her nausea and sick feeling will last for days
>Happy Valentine‘s Day!
and that’s why I don’t go to Indian restaurants anymore.

>>21522971 (OP)
canned food doesn't really expire and make you sick. it just starts to lose flavor/texture. the only reason it'd make you sick is if it wasn't canned properly, or the seal was damaged, or the food was inherently contaminated. but it wasn't due to expiration.

too much coffee and soda could've been part of the problem

>>21523095
its called pizza halligan

>>21522991
I curse you to get food poisoning from the most benign looking meal

I lucked out because our army cooks are faggots and shut down before we got back from mission every time because I was recuck and we only move at night but I saw the aftermath
>retarded cooks decided to serve their food from a flatbed
>it was the flatbed that transported the porta johns
>35 people got dysentery from fecal contamination of their paper trays
>in death valley in august so they were in a 110 degree tent puking and shitting their guts out
Glad I had to stick to my mres

>>21526066
yes
which is why everyone laughs at your country

>>21522971 (OP)
>14
>go to golden corral with grandfather and his family
>am hungry from working the fields
>start eating
>something is off
>ignore it
>vomit 10lbs back up
>shit 30lbs
Never again

>2022
>3am off work
>decide to cook ramen in beef broth
>it upsets belly
>if I sat upright fine, lying down would make me feel sick
>330am, have to sleep
>stomach is gurgling
>can't hold it
>vomit everywhere

>2024
>working graveyards
>eat the sandwiches in break room
>something tastes off
>ignore it because most of them taste off
>feel gurgling in stomach
>shit every 30mins
>go home and vomit everywhere in the bathroom
>feel better
>now I had to clean the bathroom

Moral of the story: don't eat the sandwiches from the breakroom

>>21523095
I think you just have severe acid reflux and possible esophageal damage. Try taking 20mg of omeprazole an hour before you plan to eat something that gives you these symptoms.

>>21526907
No. It will always be pidser.

>>21527545
>Try taking 20mg of omeprazole
Not necessary but thanks, since I don't get those symptoms anymore. If I do it's on very rare occassion now.
>>21526787
>too much coffee and soda could've been the problem
That's what I suspect. I heard somewhere mixing caffeine with vitamin C could kill you. But I also think because it was expired (((organic))) soup, there's maybe more chance of there being actual spoiled ingredients?

>>21526766
I found that merely merely having jeets touch or serve your food can be compromising.

>go to Tim Horton's
>order a hot chocolate
>jeet hands it to me
>the cup is moist with cold water like he handled it with wet hands
>drink it, it's fine
>experience 2 days of flu-like symptoms
>first time being sick since 2019

One year later

>go to gas station
>get a bottle and a can from the fridge
>jeet scans them, gives me change
>drink them
>hours later experience sickness and flu-like symptoms for most of the day

>>21528341
what I find incredible is how dirty they are despite the fact that they wash themselves in the sink at every workplace I've shared with them. for a culture that is so obsessed with hygiene, Indians have the lowest understanding of cleanliness.

>>21522971 (OP)
nothing that interesting but this happened recently. i picked up my mom from work and she said she brought back some food from a party they had. some filipino pancit and fried chicken and lumpia. i hadn't had lunch yet so wolfed it down. it was at that point she commented that she didn't get a chance to put it in the fridge, but their workplace is normally pretty cold so she thought it would be fine. not one half hour after i start feeling a tingling sensation in my right hand and that very shortly after leads to almost near paralysis in my lower right arm. basically couldn't grip anything with any power if i wanted to. good thing i was off that day otherwise i wouldn't be able to do fuck all. i wound up sleeping it off but i was still experiencing tingling and loss of power in my right hand the next morning. it took another day or two for things to go back to normal. jesus fuck, i guess the takeaway if anything is don't trust filipinos for food safety i guess.

>>21528391
These are not food poisoning symptoms anon. I suggest you had a mini stroke. Maybe time to get established with a cardiologist or get some bloodwork done. Describe this to that doctor. Be prepared for a 3-4 month wait for a first appointment, and it'll be with a damn PA first.

>>21528401
>These are not food poisoning symptoms anon.

they are though. not all food poisoning is gastrointestinal. some are associated with neurotoxins

>>21528430
one armed paralysis of onset within 30 minutes, uh no

>>21522971 (OP)
>buy 7-11 turkey sub
>use by in 2 days
>open it
>smells off
>taste it
>doesn't taste right
>eat it anyway
>diarrhea and nausea for 2 days

Kind of unrelated
>staying with friend for two weeks
>we friender bender
>buy some italian sausages to make for us
>he wants to cook his own??
>we're drunk so everything is okay
>safely shallow boil/steam mine with lid on my two and brown after
>he puts his right on the pan for a while until they're good looking
>tell him they're not done because these fuckers are dense
>eats them and has explosive vomit later
the vomit wasn't from the alcohol, we've been drinking together for 20 years and he never vomits, not before or since

I've only ever had food poisoning twice in my life. First was from eating sushi in Boise, Idaho. That was the first time in my life I felt like driving myself to the hospital but I ended up just sleeping in the shower instead. I just checked on them and looks like the shop has closed down within the last 3 years so good fuck them.
The second time was after eating at a Hooters at midnight. I'm assuming one of the Mexicans in the back must have not washed his hands or something. I was just vomiting and shitting pure liquid and belching the worst smelling vomit gas I had ever smelled for 3 days straight.

Not really food poisoning but I once ate at a Golden Corral in Destin Florida that somehow made me unable to shit for a whole week. Had to take prescription strength laxatives to get back to normal. Have not been back to one since.

>>21522971 (OP)
That shit happened to me when I was a kid, on a trip to Georgia after my maternal grandmother died. I ate a bunch of peaches, which I loved at the time, and fresh Georgia peaches tasted the best. I think I had a stomach flu, though, because I spent two whole days constantly shitting and puking, and every time I burped, which was a lot, I could smell and taste half digested peaches, and I have never been able to eat peaches again.

>>21527536
Oh and 1 more story
>20
>work in charity warehouse
>it's close to Thanksgiving
>Thanksgiving meal is served on Tuesday
>turkey has some ice crunch to it
>didn't realize it till I got home
>massively sick for 3 days and bedridden for a week