Thread 40696800

Afraid and hungry edition

QOTT: What games have you played recently?

Previous thread: >>40676911

god please make me a hot anime girl

Real woman > drawing imitation

Well I WAS going to be playing Project Epoch, but… iykyk


So instead I’ve been playing some ROUNDS. It’s a fun little game.

>>40696800 (OP)
mind games

inviting reppers to
https://discord.gg/jfHftzDH
https://discord.gg/jfHftzDH

>>40696878
is this the server that was made a few threads back?

Would HRT have saved her?

>>40696878
can i join if im detransing

What's the latest age you can transition and have a chance of being hot

>>40697075
17

would hrt have saved me

mostly CS recently desu
>>40696998
heaters although idk about the new skillex

>>40697089
...It's not too late, right?

>>40697003
yep
>>40697061
i don't think reppers and detrans folk share the same mindset or experience. im sure there would be dedicated detrans groups for you

The thought of having sex with dudes is gross but im also turned on by the thought of an FTM fucking me. My tomboy fetish morphed into an FTM fetish

>>40696800 (OP)
take your HRT, retards

>>40698194
no <3

>>40697159
no, people just want you sterilized for being autistic to ensure you don't breed and don't rebel
castrated slaves rarely rebel successfully

>>40697980
With guys it's mostly a personality thing that puts me off.

>>40697159
probably, but if you're anything like me then it's too late now.

>>40696826
Yes!
>>40696838
NO.

>transed at 16
>detransed at 19

>>40698345
I hate you and hope you die

>>40696864
i was gonna play turtlewow, but then I learned they nerfed durid beyond recognition. they removed travel form completely :/

>>40698249
I wonder if i can condition myself to like men

>>40698355
druids deserve to suffer. sorry not really but i don't like druids never did but especially after playing dark and darker, getting molested in a corner by 2 wild form druids and not being able to fight back has given me trauma

>>40696800 (OP)
I wish death cults were real so I could join one

time to get wasted and read gender bender kino until 5am again

>>40696800 (OP)
last game i played was dwarf fortress and before that i think darkest dungeon pvp

>>40698345
are you stupid?

>>40696800 (OP)
who plays company of heroes here

>>40698396
Share titles

>>40698426
I don't really have the energy to play games anymore

>>40698251
noo :(

>>40698386
that's basically trannyism but also a sex cult

>>40698201
trvthnvke, all revolutions were lead by spergs who saw a better way compared to the normie cattle

>>40698435
I'm on chpt 30 right now, I've had it on my backlog for a couple years while waiting for more volumes to get released. I've been enjoying it for the last couple days, it's a fun read. More of an AGP Japanese man's self-insert escapist fantasy then anything else though, don't expect it to emotionally move you like some of the other GB out there.
Decent official translation up to volume 16 on nyaa

>>40698435
>>40698530
oh yeah btw be forewarned it's giga AGP

>>40698484
not really

>>40698586
>AGP
>Loved a boy
Anon, I'm sorry, but...

>>40698530
>>40698535
Ah ive read this too. Good taste

Do you guys have sex?

>>40698793
never have, never will.
the idea of having sex in my current body is incredibly horrifying, staying a khhv until the next life isn't really a big deal to me in comparison

>>40698793
yes and it's extremely stressful to have the knowledge that i am never going to have my virginity back, i will always be impure and a part of me will never come back.

>>40698818
idk u say that but it seems like u mog me, sex haver
i think i have a chance of being cured of my trannybrain disease if i could get my dick wet but alas im an incel and a repper

>>40698793
I found it thoroughly unenjoyable.

>>40698793
I'm one of the only true incels. I can never have sex in a way that's satisfying.

>>40698793
Yeah. Straight sex which i still enjoy

>>40698709
nta but it could be some form of meta attraction tbhon, i did that too and im still a trve agp.

>>40698793
nope. the idea is disgusting in any way i can imagine.

>>40698709
to me this was more of a friendless thing and the one guy i latched on to was just like the one dude that tolerates me being a weird offputting loner

>>40698793
Almost impossible since I’m the wrong sex/gender. Even masturbation is suffering

how much are pinkpillers willing to pay me to take hrt? I'll show bloodtests if the money is good.

I WISH I WAS A WOMAN
I WISH I WAS A WOMAN
I WISH I WAS A WOMAN
I WISH I WAS A WOMAN
I WISH I WAS A WOMAN

>>40698793
sometimes i'll suck a dick but that's about it these days

>>40698354
i hope i do soon
>>40698420
yeah

i don't want to be a man

>>40698345
why?

>>40696800 (OP)
i'm starting HRT today. screw you guys im going home

>>40704021
take me with you

>tried hrt
>didn't do shit
>Realized I got scammed
>Threw it away

it's weird the degree to which nothing feels real anymore
I'm doing the normal social/work functions I've done before because I know I should in an abstract sense but none of it feels like it's making a dent in my brain. just sorta fulfilling obligations and hoping everyone else is happy with it because I can't make heads or tails of much. kinda like when you're just getting drunk and trying to act sober where everything feels 10% wrong but just sending it anyway because you can't come up with a better answer

i don't like how preachy trannies are.
>don't rep. there is no escaping it, you'll just troon out later! (completely ignores the thousands of years where hrt did not exist and people thrived anyway)
>NOOOOO you need to take the hormones NOW or you'll literally john 50!!!! (they make fun of non passing trannies, yet tell you to transition even if you can't pass)
>NOOOOOOOO DON'T REP BY REALIZING THE BODY IS MERELY A VESSEL FOR THE MIND (their hylic minds cannot comprehend what is beyond the carnal realm)

sometimes i wish i could be dumb enough to fall for this. to exist in a world where my identity problems could vanish by being dependent on big pharma, a world where trans women really are biological women and not men shooting up estrogen, a world where earthly desires are actually fulfilling.

>>40704902
Enjoy killing yourself at 30

>>40705142
Not true, you can live past 30 as a repper, it's just abject misery.
t. over 30 repper

>>40705142
promise?

>>40698793
Not in 5 years. And when i did have sex regularly it was less than average. Like two partners a year

>>40706048
Anon the majority of people have 3 or less partners in their entire life.

>>40698793
I'm an old fashioned straight incel. However, I also fantasize about sucking dick but I have extremely high standards for men (meta attraction) and am too ugly to obtain it.

>>40696800 (OP)
how old is the average repper here?
t. 20yo

>>40706355
from a few threads back https://strawpoll.com/7rnzVvRGYnO/results

>>40706355
im 32

t. 32 yo

>>40704269
Same, literally the only things 2 years of it did for me was make me less hairy and fuck up my bones. 2 fucking years of nothing else happening despite working with my endocrinologist constantly to get it to do literally anything else. Yeah, dumped that shit.

Anyone who says HRT *will* help are liars. For most males 20+, I'd say, the only things HRT *will* do is feed the delusions.

>>40706360
>nearly 1 in 2 reppers are below the age of 26
wow

>>40706355
i turned 29 two weeks ago

>>40706405
ikr. i'm 28 so it's actually over but genuinely don't understand the really young reppers. they can actually fix it

>>40706405
what about 26? is 26 some kind of magical number?

>>40706355
i'm almost 27 (geriatric)

>>40706415
im 28 and everything that would make me not pass is the same shit that would have made me not pass 10 years ago, almost nothing else has changed.

>>40706404
Pinkpillers will not read this post.

>>40706355
almost 23
(yes I know that the average person would still have a good chance to achieve at least twinkhon status at this age, however I am unfortunately not the average person)

>>40696800 (OP)
nice digits, bro
(this is masculine affirmation cuz I said bro btw)

>>40706415
idk how i could actually fix anything. i've deluded myself since 15 that i'm fine being a man because theres no classic fictional turn into a full biological woman overnight or whatever. that i'd rather be a man than a man in a dress. but it's getting harder everyday to cope this way. ppl keep telling me that i look like my sister and it just hurts more.

t. 20yo

>>40706500
yeah man people used to tell me that too
and then I spent another decade aging as a man. now does not happen
one of us can still take our pills

>>40706404
What happened to your bones?

>>40706500
twinkhon or better trannies still aren't real foids, but they aren't really men either. They're essentially third/de-sexed. Eunuch would probably be the most "biologically accurate" sex class although it doesn't really fit either since modern trannies take estrogen and have the capability to develop female secondary sex characteristics.
It's kind of a consolation prize, but I would definitely take it if I had the option. I think that I could have potentially lived a happy and fulfilling life as a trap.
Though maybe the idea just appeals to me because I'm almost as far from being a trap as I am from being a female. It was already way too late for me at your age thanks to genetics.

do any of you have hopes or dreams outside of being a girl? i don't.

>>40706956
honestly i suppose i would feel much better as a effeminate twink than whatever i am right now, even if not fully female, but i have no idea how to get into diy. i have terrible social anxiety that has slowly morphed me into a failure over the years. id never be able to get blood tests to make sure my liver doesnt fail or check my levels. fuck i dont even know how im supposed to get needles, no job no nothing. my parents are the ones taking care of me and always have been, and probably always will be.

>>40706958
I don't have hopes, but I can't stop dreaming about all sorts of things that could have been if I were a girl

>>40706868
Osteoporosis. I already had family history of it, so there's a good chance I would have developed it eventually, but HRT definitely kick-started it, of that I'm certain. Endo even agreed with me. Bone density was a big point she made when I started, according to her there's a big risk with the lowering of testosterone.

>>40706958
Im an extremely motivated person, but unfortunately my achievements are built on quicksand

>>40707106
women do have way higher risk of osteoporosis for that reason
I also have shit genes so I bet I would luck out with a similar female-leaning trait like breast cancer and nothing else lmao

hrt does nothing if your bones are fucked.

I refuse to believe that gender euphoria is actually something that exists and other people feel.It must all be a psyop from pinkpillers.
Cis people don't feel gender euphoria

>>40707051
i meant desires mostly, like, there is absolutely nothing else i want out of life other than to be a woman.

>>40707304
there are lots of things I want out of life and all sorts of experiences I want to have, I just couldn't enjoy any of them without being a woman

>you'll finally look like the woman you want to be
>but you'll be transported back to a random town in europe during the late 16th century
Deal or no deal?

>>40707422
easy deal

>>40706074
Bullshit my peers would wonder why i dated so little and had little sex

>>40707484
Not my fault you ran in slutty circles.

>>40707006
hrtgen used to get posted a lot if you check the archives. I never browsed it because it made me too jealous and depressed so I don't really have any hrt advice beyond that. Needles are pretty cheap online, but if you need to you could probably larp as a junkie and get them for free. I'm a weird quiet autist with repper eyes and I think normies sometimes assume that I'm on drugs, so it shouldn't be too hard even if it's difficult for you to talk to people.
I escaped neet hell briefly but I didn't have the motivation to keep going so I ended up pretty much back in your position with very little to show for it. Depending on how kind your family is you probably have like 3-5 years of that before some of them start resenting you for it and the others seem increasingly sad and disappointed whenever they interact with you. They would probably be willing to help you try investing in crypto if they think that might help you go somewhere in life though, and since that money is easy to lose you could easily put some towards whatever you need to purchase.
You're still young enough to have the potential to enjoy college and make friends if you can become a person you don't hate.

me want become aniem gril NOW

>>40707667
same desu

>>40696800 (OP)
Angel At Dusk.

>>40698201
holy shit this is a damn nuke, in part i rep because of this too.

if i ever troon out it is in my own terms, not because i was manipulated by glowing nig**rs

That moment when dysphoria hits and you go from a severe depressive episode to your normal depressive state of mind

transitioning is cringe

>>40709265
When dysphoria hits me it's like this horrible disabling pain. Thankfully it passes in 10-15 minutes.

Does any type person find hons attractive? Because I would be a hon

>>40710626
I had a friend who was lusting after hons. He was bisexual and schizophrenic.

>>40708627
>nig**rs
are you scared your mommy would catch you typing bad words on the internet?

>wow I look terrible I need to lose weight
>lose weight
>What was the point? I'm skinnier but all the things I hate about my body are the same...what a waste of time
>lose interest in diet, gain weight
>Wow I look terrible I need to lose weight

>>40710694
>He was bisexual and schizophrenic.

It makes a LOT of sense

>>40711181
I don't think you have to be schizo to be attracted to hons but. The number of people who are actually attracted to hons who are also compatible with you AND live near you is basically zero.

>>40711034
I totally get you. Staying thin is the only thing I do with my body now, after giving up the idea of transitioning.

i had some termites hiding in my room, and i accidentally inhaled some of the termite killer spray and that healed my agp and dysphoria
trannies hate this 1 (one) simple trick

>not a single day where I don't wish that I were born in a completely different body
>also while being a sexist piece of shit
Is this a common occurence?

>>40711987
extremely common.

>>40711987
I hate most people but I still want to be human (female) so yes it's common

do any of you have gayface or a fagcent?

>>40712745
I 100 percent have the tranny face, and I've been accused of having a "queer eye"

>>40712745
I've been told I have a girly pout and that's it.

>>40712745
maybe partial gayface but no fagcent
people have told me that they clocked me as gay very quickly but won't explain why. they just say "you can just tell"

>>40712745
i think things would be easier if i did

>>40712200
>>40712351
Alright, thanks for letting me know I'm not the only one.

>>40712745
A lot of people assume I'm gay, so I believe yes, I do have a gayface.

>Stuck with abusive family with no money, huge medical debt + disabilities and no insurance or support
>Random normalfag: just get a job lol

>>40696866
like ?

i'm too scared to transition

>>40713867
What disabilities? Also just don't pay the medical debt they cant do shit about it

>>40696800 (OP)
Anyone else pissed about Itch.io and Steam de-listing F&H because of the Visa/Mastercard bs? Miro was planning a huge Termina update too.
Sorry I'm not a repressor I've been on estrogen for 16 years I just want to talk about Fungry and the /v/ threads suck.

beard shaved
mental health improved

are there any crackpot doctors out there that still do lobotomies? asking for a friend

>>40713965
The internet in general is changing for the worse, I think. Youtube is now asking for IDs to "prove you're not a child", which will just pave the way for more websites to do the same, even if it makes zero sense for them to ask for such data.
People used to complain about how the wild west days of the internet were long gone, but it's just downhill from here. We were getting spied on pretty hard before, but soon enough it's gonna be some INGSOC type shit. I hope miro is finished with the update soon, if steam is bending over like that to private companies already, only god knows what they'll do next.
(i may be a little dramatic but you get the gist)

>>40714142
This doesn't help me much because of the remaining stubble and beard shadow.

>>40714208
I have that too, but it's better than being fully bearded up

>>40714191
>i may be a little dramatic but you get the gist
If anything you are underselling it. I've been on the internet since it's inception and I've *never* seen a shift this dramatic so fast. All the big corporate sites (which is the vast majority of the internet) are all falling in line like dominos.
I used to blame money and profit for whenever anything enshittified in such a way, but the strangest thing is that payment processors are probably poised to *lose* money by doing this. There is sonething deeper and scarier going. 10 years ago neocons and the powers that be would be up on arms about censorship, but these days the only thing I can see on the horizon is the steady march of fascism ready to trample every aspect of everyday life.
Sure does suck to be an weird indie horror fan right now. Oh and a trans woman.

>>40696800 (OP)
any new tech that will arrive soon so i can mange or cope with this ? beside hrt

I realize that even as a woman I still wouldn't be allowed to be myself really.

>>40713965
>I've been on estrogen for 16 years
How is it like having been a tranny for so long when most troons around now started hrt after 2020?

It makes me kind of upset when I realize literally EVERYTHING is made to cater exclusively to male top sexuality, and if it isn't then it's always bent to in some way.

>>40696800 (OP)
Am I still a repper if I accept that I’m a man forever and will never look even vaguely female

Being a women undeniably fucking sucks, so I don't know why I want it

>>40714411
It's not even fascism, there's no volk they're trying to defend or promote. It's simply raw tyranny for tyranny's sake.

it is pretty funny how in researching suicide options google will give me a different state's "pls call for help :(" website, as if I'll only give a shit now that it says New Jersey on it

>>40714820
trvke

>>40714820
This. People who seek power are soulless creature, and normies are cattle

>>40714962
To expand on this, most people are too stupid to realize freedom is more important than safety

>>40714506
Honestly? It's amazing.
When I was starting out there were so few of us, and because of that, we didn't even really have our own culture. The prevailing notion was just to try to pass as well as possible, and assimilate into normative society as fast as you could before you got hate-crimed or became completely isolated and veiwed as some kind of pariah. This might still seem like the case these days sometimes, especially on a site like 4chan, but I guarantee it was much much more oppressive back then. There are SO many more trans people, and more importantly trans women now, and of all different stripes. Back in the day identifying and presenting as, say, a butch trans lesbian, would have been utterly unthinkable. Now I can meet a dozen butch transfemme crust punks at a local dyke night bar on the weekend.
Most importantly, we have our own culture now. We have our own language, our own literature our own music, games and memes. It's incredibly enriching for the trans soul.
It took a little getting used to being a 'trans elder' or whatever you want to call it for me, but now I quite enjoy giving younger trannys guidance. It also helps that I'm a lesbian and there is a huge portion of trans dykes that have mommy issues so i'm swimming in girl hog. I can't believe I had to settle for chasers way back when, it feels like a lifetime ago now.
I am worried it will start to slip backwards though, with the way things are going. I can already feel it starting to happen, especially with how 4chan has evolved over the years. 2006 4chan had anons thirsting over posters like linetrap(baily jay) and m00t and co. discussing which eva girl they would like to be body swapped with. Now half the board uses 'tranny' as their go-to generic insult.
No idea why I still come here. Old habits die hard I guess, and I feel like maybe some of the self-depricating girls and eggs here maybe need me. Or maybe I just tell myself that.

>>4071502
one example of this that baffles me is that ppl continue to rent in suburbs and cities when they could literally go like only an hour out of the city and find like an acre of land for 10k and just park a trailer there as opposed to paying more than that every single year and having to be a wageslave for 40+ hours a week to afford doing so

Lot of cope in this thread as always. Take HRT nona.

>>40715081
how are you supposed to earn money living on your acre of land?

>>40714652
>no replies
I guess not

>>40715128
as long as you want to troon but don't do so, you're pretty much a repper

>>40714652
>>40715128
Yes
Now pls go take some estrogen already

>>40696800 (OP)
Am I repper if I'm on E injections but not planning any transition bc I'm lateshit and my face is too twinkhonish for that and I don't really suppose to become passable even after ffs bc of my height and being just a feminine male/enby is enough for me

>>40715239
hrt repper

>>40715239
No, you're doing fine baby.
You can expetiment more with your gender presentation later when you're more confident if you want.

>>40714820
The new american volk are just rich people and landlords

My self hatred is so bad pretty much all my fetishes involve humiliation.

>>40715056
Would you recommend a 19 year old that's 6'1" and has the measurements in picrel to troon? trannies always say "yes do it asap or you'll literally reincarnate in a hell realm" or whatever, but i wanna know if the answer will be different considering you probably have more experience.

>>40715239
>>40715254
>hrt repper
stolen valor... not a trve repking...

>>40715056
I sincerely wish I had transitioned back when you apparently did. 16 years ago? I was an adult, nothing could've stopped me. But the fact that I never vibed with 'trans culture' is a big part of why, I felt that if I gave into my desires I would end up some kind of perverted disgusting freak and could never blend in, such was the perception at the time among people for trans when they were aware of them. Still is really. And I never wanted to be a slut, or be in a polycule, or listen to music or watch movies about trans issues, because not only did that identity made me feel more isolated and unsafe, but it was completely divorces from my own beliefs and feelings about relationships and social behavior.

Hmm if I wasn't 6 feet tall maybe I wouldve

>hated by conservatives for being trans
>hated by liberals for not transitioning

The repper stands alone....

>>40715644
>>40715885
Tall trannies exist and are cute

>>40715985
>hated by conservatives for being trans
>hated by liberals for being conservative
>hated by other trans for being a repper
It's a tough life.

>>40716041
Still not budging THOUGH

>>40716039
anon i'm not just tall i'm built like the colossal titan

I just need to accept that I am a man. I know I can do it.
Affirming it one more time will surely do the trick

I'm too poor to eat food I like to feel good so I might as well starve and lose weight

>>40715644
Absolutely 100%
19 is incredibly young regardless of whatever horseshit you hear in /tttt/ and i dont even have to look at your mesurements because you are either small and thin and waifish which means you'll be hot or your big and broad and fat which means you'll be even hotter. SO many lesbian trans and even cis girls find big built tgirls hot, including me, especially if you are quite pretty in the face too.
I don't know if you're straight, but I'm sure there are some guys with decent taste that think so to. It might be harder with men though, it's really not my wheelhouse.
I transitioned at almost 25, and I "pass" very regularly, albeit i've had years and years of voice practice too, which is often the hardest part. Hormones do *most* of the legwork for looks, but FFS makes a huge impact too, especially if you dream of being the type of girl with very rounded, and not strong features.

Please do it anon. If it's really something you've thought about for a while and you are really pretty maybe quite sure you'd be happier as a woman, and you fantasize about being a woman, just do it. You're young, I have some friends that would kill someone to have started that young.

>>40716373
>If it's really something you've thought about for a while and you are really pretty maybe quite sure you'd be happier as a woman
how am i supposed to know that if i have never experienced life as a woman? the ideas i have would come from a biased perspective.

>and you fantasize about being a woman
i've been doing that for about a decade now, but i'm pretty sure this is due to the fact i genuinely hate myself and i have always looked for ways to not be me. a futile attempt to escape all the problems i caused in my own life.
plus i don't think i'm actually dysphoric. i don't like having body hair or being too masculine in general, but as long as i look somewhat feminine i think i can bear it. sometimes i actually prefer being male because of the benefits (mainly being stronger and not being looked down upon), sometimes i just don't care about how i look at all.
i'm also incredibly malebrained and cannot relate to women very well (i can't relate to most people in general but women are almost impossible to understand).

among that and other reasons are why i don't think i should troon.
(also 19 is really not that young, the window to be a gigapassoid closed years ago)

>I never wanted to be a slut, or be in a polycule, or listen to music or watch movies about trans issues

They simply didn't exist in '09. The closest you could get were movies made by cis people who didn't think we were *completely* disgusting freaks, but still, most were barely better than the 90's Girl Has a Dick Grossout craze.
John Waters had some movies featuring Divine, who was a charming but clocky fat trans woman. Great actress, but i doubt her loud boistrous performances would convice any of the cishets that we weren't freaks, probably the opposite.
I remember in the mid 00's Dave Attell interveiwed a few trans sex workers in a cab and on the street for Insomniac on comedy central, and he was usually pretty respectful of them, regardless if they were clocky or not. I always sorta got chaser vibes from him but he seemed endearing enough. Good show too.
I don't know how old you are anon, but my pretty serious GF started hormones at 35. She's 38 now and she is hot. Is she clocky? Sure. But she looks good. So much better than she used to, and she's more confident too.
And she's happy. Not all the time, but actually fairly often. I'm prettt protective of her, but she hasn't even gotten a ton of shit from people all things considered.
There is quite literally still time.
Watch the movie I Saw The TV Glow if you really need something to shock and frighten you into transitioning ASAP.

>>40716595
Is for>>40715731
I don't know why it ate the post link

>>40716585
>how am i supposed to know that if i have never experienced life as a woman? the ideas i have would come from a biased perspective.
Then try out being a woman for a while and see if it sticks. Get some hormones.
Most girls start to feel better pretty quick. Most of the shit is reversable unless you are incredibly luck and grow huge tits right away
>plus i don't think i'm actually dysphoric. i don't like having body hair or being too masculine in general, but as long as i look somewhat feminine i think i can bear it. sometimes i actually prefer being male because of the benefits (mainly being stronger and not being looked down upon), sometimes i just don't care about how i look at all.
I dunno sounds like dysphoria to me. You could always wait it out and see if the feeling gets worse, if it does, you'll know you have dysphoria but
>(also 19 is really not that young, the window to be a gigapassoid closed years ago)
You already seem to have a lot of anxiety about your age at fuckin 19. Knowing that you'll probably have be catatonic about not starting sooner by 22.
I started at 25. I'm *begging* you to get off 4chan and go anywhere else for support. Make a tumblr or something. /tttt/ has literally psyoped you into thinking 19 is too old for hormones. I'm sorry to say but your brain is kinda cooked from 4chan.
Start it or wait it out. It's your choice, but if you're wrong (and I suspect you are) it's only going to get harder the longer you try to ignore it and put it off.
You're already in /lgbt/ so I'm not quite sure why you are even in here if you're not trans. You gay or something?

>>40716767
>It's your choice, but if you're wrong (and I suspect you are) it's only going to get harder the longer you try to ignore it and put it off
that's what's fucking me over. it's a choice. i don't think i've ever made a choice like this in my whole life. sometimes i think i should just give in, sometimes i think i should try to accept reality, sometimes i feel like a normal guy. i'm utterly paralyzed. i'm so tired of my brain flip-flopping between 10 different identity presets.

>You're already in /lgbt/ so I'm not quite sure why you are even in here if you're not trans. You gay or something?
i mainly come here to post in repgen about random shit with people that seem to have similar issues to mine. i used to vent to a confidant on discord but she got sick of it and blocked me lol

how often is it normal to cry or feel like crying

i just gets so painful
pretending online stops being enough

>>40716973

daily i think

>>40716973
I cry like once or twice a week but its only a tiny amount of tears
I usually just feel like bawling my eyes out daily

pinkpillergen

>>40717223
Pinkpilling is a natural response to a group of people who wishes they were women but aren't transitioning, it's like being surprised old fruit has a ton of fruit flies on it.

>>40716595
>>40716653
The reputation at the time was that we were all prostitutes or shemale pornstars, which is the same as 'slut' to me. Not fond of sex work.
>I don't know how old you are anon
34. Not old, not young.
>Is she clocky? Sure.
That's the thing, I can't bear being ugly, or not passing. Being some ugly half-thing terrifies me. I don't want to be an outcast, or attract negative attention, or have to live in trans circles, or have to move to the west coast. I want to look into the mirror and see something I like, which clocky is not.
>I Saw The TV Glow
Never saw it, I hear the protagonist has the typical presentation with crossdressing and such. Cross was never my thing, I always felt I was too ugly for it so it was just scary.

>>40716973
I haven't cried in a long time, it feels like I can't anymore. I'm glad, it sounds really disgusting with my man voice.

>>40716973
I feel like crying every day. I always want to have a full on breakdown, but whenever I start to cry it ends up like this anon >>40717175 It's weird, it's like once the tears start coming out the desire to completely lose control and sob goes away.

>>40700606
are you me? I had the same experience in childhood

Fuck the pinkpillers im only going to accept being an anime girl this is the only way

hello /repgen/, do you think it's a valid reason to transition because you can't stand the thought of being a male during sex. I just want to be a girl and get fucked that's the #1 priority. I think I generally have some problems with the way my body looks too but I fear hormones may make that worse. I had a later than normal sexual development, virgin until last year and realized I'm attracted to men

t. 25 yo repper

>>40717259
What surprises me is that there is an entire board to talk about transition and the person decides to come here.

If I were a repressor still considering transition
, i wouldn’t be in this gen. And if you’re young and not transitioning for stupid reasons (religion or shame) you should leave too. Because when I’m 40, I don’t want passoids who started today telling me what to do.

>>40717915
>If I were a repressor still considering transition
>i wouldn’t be in this gen
Eh, I question every day if I should start despite being in my 30's, lot of people here are still on the border rather than set on repping til death.

ive read dorley, i saw tv glow
none of them convincdd me trooning out is good idea
what now pinkpilloids?
>>40717915
not falling in the tranny pipeline is its own righteous reward

>>40717851
yes it's valid

>>40717947
Pinkpiller fiction always dances around the fact that most trannies are never going to pass, they always always do this
And the simple truth is that passing and being attractive as a woman are the only thing that matters when it comes to trooning
but trannies and pinkpillers will always try to distract you and sell you on some retarded notion of "sister"hood or some other honsense

>>40717952
think I'm gonna tell my therapist next week. what are the steps to actually begin transition?

pinkpillers should pay for my hrt and laser and ffs if they're so serious about me transitioning

>>40718080
this + shoulder and rib cage reduction surgery AND hip enlargement surgery

>>40716373
>big and broad and fat (moid-shaped)
>hot
youre a honpiller dude, kys

>>40718103
>rib cage reduction surgery
I wish this existed.
>shoulder... reduction surgery
This exists but sucks, lose like 2 inches at most.
>hip enlargement surgery
Kinda exists, a BBL will give you as much hips as you like, but the pelvis itself is set.

>>40716373
>I transitioned at almost 25
is 27 too old

Hmmm.....

>>40718144
he would have been a hon and still dying of lung cancer lmao
waste of life either way

>>40718144
I'm not a woman. I don't care about being a woman socially. I can't lose everything and still be fine since being a woman will never be taken away from me. The only thing I care about is actually looking female which puberty took away from me.

>>40716373
>>40718142
i'm thinking of doing it at 30 is it over

Some cold hard dysphoria tonight. Repping aint fun at all

i can't do it anymore i can't take this

>>40718144
Strikes too close to home desu.

i love repping

wow i love being extremely drunk let's give it up for being spectacularly drunk

>>40718605
What you drink?

>>40718696
many beers at a baseball game. leinenkugel >>>>

>>40718605
What are you drinking and how much have you had?

I'm this anon >>40718816
Just saw this >>40718739
Captcha took too long...

>>40718825
look if you must know it was 4 voodoo rangers into 2 blue moons without eating
not like dead but also feeling fine

>>40718605
giwtwm
I'm waiting to finish binging my manga until I have more alcohol so I can enjoy it properly
>>40718834
do you have more?

>>40718844
fortunately (?) for me no
just a lot of weed
I come from a long line of alcoholics so am v particular about how much booze I come home too

>>40718834
Sorry. Wasn't trying to baby you.
I could never get behind the juice force, but I used to drink these.

>>40718881
was just what was on tap that would get me drunkest the quickest desu

>>40718852
that sucks sorry anon

>>40718896
idk in some ways it's good I feel like I need to turn on bumpers for that because it makes it easier to bury other shit

I hate being a non-dysphoric ugly man. If I had dysphoria I'd at least get to medically transition but I don't so I just get to envy women and femininity.

I want to socialize as a woman.
I want to have wide hips and a bigger butt.
I want to get fucked as a woman.
I want to be a lesbian.
I want to have long hair.
I want my fucking jawline gone.
I want to never ever again go for beers with a group of "mates".
I want soft skin.
I want to be elegant.
I want to wear dresses, skirts, blouses, tops.
I want to have access to actual *fashion*, not just the fucking 6 pieces of clothing men get to wear.
I want to cuddle with a GF every day.
I want to get rid of my male sexuality.
I want to paint my nails with a friend of mine while we chat about every day stuff.
I want to have a vagina.
I don't want to pursue partners and get constantly viewed as some sort of a predator.

>>40710694
my friend is slightly bi and schizo. hmm

AND I WANT TO BE A HOT BIG TITTY ANIME GIRL

>>40719321
i wanna be a monster girl and be irresistible to men and feed on their semen

there are 2 types of repper

type 1: extremely dysphoric but due to life circumstances cannot troon out
type 2: less dysphoric, trooning more of a choice than a need

which are you

>>40719654
Type 2. I prefer female asthetics

>>40719654
type one (traumagenic, not trutrans)

>be in one of those moments where dysphoria is low
>Think "Why the fuck did I ever want to transition? I must be crazy. Thank god I dodged that bullet"

I wish they could go on forever...

>>40719654
Type 1 but I trooned out eventually

>>40719813
Same

>>40719654
I don't even think I am a repper, and not fitting in either one of these only proves me right.
I don't even want to be a woman. I want to want to be a woman, and that is what I am actually "repressing".
Don't even think I deserve to call myself a fakerepper

>horny for a woman
>start masturbating thinking about her
>can't cum and start to get bored
>imagine I'm her and I'm having sex with a man
>reach orgasm quickly

It's been like this since I was 11 years old. Does this mean nature wants me to have sex with men?

>>40720687
The world wanted you to be an anime girl.

>>40720808
..and made me poor and with immense ribcage. Clown world.

>>40720812
Things will get better ( they will not)

got roped into going to the beach with family for the first time in maybe 4 years
seeing so many women who were my age being happy with their boyfriends made me want to kill myself

I've come a long way since I last posted here and I've come back curious if anyone can relate to me. The reason I repress is because I romanticize how awful the world feels to me on an almost religious level. If anything, I have a lot of advantages but I just refuse to do them because I'm so obsessed with the idea of sadness and despair. Am I the only one repressing for seemingly dumb reasons?

i act like a completely normal straight man irl but the only way i've been able to get off since early puberty is if i fap to straight porn and imagine i'm the woman. i'm at the point where it's been impossible for me to get off to solo female or lesbian porn for what seems like a decade now, but i can get off to solo male but not gay porn. i can't ever transition since i can't ever pass and i'm near my mid thirties and i will never experience sex or love or intimacy because my brain is broken. do you guys think that if i actually attempted to unfuck my life and date that i could still make it work with a woman or would i be wasting both of our times and i should just stay alone my entire life like the mistake failure i am. i genuinely hate having a male sex drive and obsessing over agp sex fantasies for like like 20 fucking years at this point. i get so depressed that i can't be with men as a woman and it fills me with so much disgust and self hate.

i'm not trans i'm not gay i'm not bi i'm not straight i'm just a fucking insane loser nobody will ever love or care about. i hate myself i hate my sexuality. i wish i could cut off my balls and then kill myself. i will never be able to be myself with anyone I will never be able to be close to anyone i have been on my own in my own head and fantasies my entire life and i am so exhausted by the horrible nightmare that is my reality. nothing will fix me i wish i was dead.

>>40721433
Superb image, I hope you get a beach bum boyf next time who offers to rub lotion on ur back

>>40722115
yeah i am mentally ill. the unfortunate thing is there's no cure for it. maybe if i was a naturally feminine male i wouldn't hate myself so intensely my entire life cause then i could at least cope by being a flamboyant faggot. nobody who looks like me can be or act or look feminine. i'm a perverted straight man with a fucked up and corrupted sexuality.

>>40721969
Mid 20s isn't that bad. You still have time, especially if you've been thinking about it for 20 some years.

>>40722160
i'm 33 nigga. i also looked like an adult 5'10" man by 17. it was always over.

i've been self aware about knowing i'm a perverted retard who wishes he was female since childhood. doesn't change anything. i could never pass so i never transitioned. people like me don't get to larp as women we suffer in silence.

>tfw hrt might have gotten lost in the mail
might be a sign to keep repping

>born in a third world country and with gender dysphoria
Any point in trying to do anything instead of just dying? Give me your honest answer.

>>40722191
People like you make me so fucking mad. I'm deeply ashamed that the only right I have to transition is because I watched some femboy porn when I was 16 years old meanwhile you're over here dooming because you were placing yourself in a woman's body your whole life? Bro you're not even halfway through your life. The truth is you have to give up or troon up, but whatever you do never start a family.

>>40722570
>meanwhile you're over here dooming because you were placing yourself in a woman's body your whole life?
if we both can't pass then we are both labeled the same as potentially never passing giga hons. there's no difference between us. in fact people like you are more valid if you can pass. that's all that matters to society, so i will repress my entire life even if i've always wanted to be female just because i would always look like a mentally ill masculine freak. how my fake agp "dysphoria" started doesn't matter.

had a dream i was talking with a bunch of trans girls and immediately felt sad and like the odd one out

>>40722705
i want nothing to do with the lgbt community irl. i fucking hate myself and the fact that i wish i was a woman and am sexually attracted to dick and the made up insane fantasy of fucking men as a woman. i don't know why i would want to be around people who can proudly do what i have always hated about myself. i wish someone would give me a severe concussion that gives me brain damage that forces me to be normal and not a mistake. being mentally ill has made me waste my entire life.

>>40722875
i wanted to be with them. i wanted to be them

>>40722886
being an ugly giga hon sounds like a worse living hell than any life of isolation as a repper.

going to passgen and seeing people pass with zero effort just because they aren't cursed with extremely masculine faces like me makes me want to kill myself.

>>40722978
i shouldn't even be here. i'm not even trans or gay i'm just nothing. i'll leave now again sorry.

>>40722978
Yeah I'm jealous of anyone without a square jaw.

Hey girlies. Friendly reminder to bottle that shit up. Toodles!

>>40722705
I don't get along with the extremely fetish brained ones at all. To me that's far more disgusting than simply being an ugly hon

>>40723668
>Friendly reminder to bottle that shit up
I can't anymore though

>>40723668
big HRT doesn't want you to know if you ignore it for long enough it does go away

>>40724252
>If I suffer for long enough I will end up as a changed person
okay have fun I guess

>>40724252
Yeah that's not true at all.
t. older than you

>>40724265
I will <3
>>40724268
wouldn't it be cool if it was though

My father is cold and emotionless

Why is the idea of transitioning so erotic? I don't buy that "The only way you feel comfortable expressing your femininity is masturbating so it's a cope" crap.

The idea of feminizing myself is so fucking hot but I don't do it because it's feels very coomerish.

>>40724252
lol

no amount of alcohol will ever fill this bleeding void inside me, will it?

>>40724252
Unironically my gd is better at 30 than it was at 25
but maybe it was just agp the whole time ymmv

>>40722191
just wondering what did you do throughout your mid 20s. because i'm 21 and still a young sprig so yeah

>>40703044
nb and hate tits

>>40725600 take lamictal

>>40726320
i'd rather kill myself than take anything at this point

going through a phase where i want nothing more than to be a futanari

>>40727482
>ywn be a girl (female (has a pussy)) with a futa wife
it hurts

>>40727482
I'm trying to create an alternate reality in the astral plane where I'm a futa . The goal is for me to project my consciousness there shortly after death so I can exist in a bubble of my own self-constructed mental reality. There's no definitive proof that it works this way but many NDE accounts suggest your feelings and beliefs can alter the presentation of the afterlife.

How do I handle this without alcohol? I drink too much, but it's so hard to control my intake since if I don't maintain this level, I feel like throwing up every time I catch myself in the mirror or touch my penis

My fucking shoulders are making me miserable today.

>>40728067
i don't think that's gonna work but maybe i can lucid dream as a futa

if you pinkpillers had any heart you would've groomed me when i was like 19

I LOVE being recommended yt videos where the thumbnail is of a beautiful well kept stacey and the title is always something like
>my life as a loser
>being unemployed at 28
>never fitting in...
I LOVE these videos and creators and certainly dont wish unspeakably horrible things upon them

>>40722978
i look at my face and think its not 2 bad and that it might be able to pass with some effort. then i look at my body and see that my hips and ass are literally inverted. i look like that frog with a flat ass. my shoulders aren't that broad but by comparison i look like a linebacker. i hate this fucking life.

Last year I tried to learn
What makes me so insecure
What a better way to pass the time
Lost myself in my mind

are there any kinds of like selfie spots for MTFs?? the reddit mtf one is full of like the most coomerish pornstars/onlyfans models ever. i just want genuine people who want 2 be a normal woman and not a sex worker.

>>40729163
nvm i looked at transtimelines and holy ropefuel. im never gonna make it. half the people dont make it.

>>40729198
nvm. theres some hopefuel out htere. fuck. theres really no way to find out without just doing it. i hate this. i hate doing things just to fail.

Lately I've been fantasizing about burly transmen fucking me

>>40727610
REAL
I made a CYOA build with this as a key aspect and I consistently daydreamed about it for like 6 months

When gay men transition it's logical, when str8 men transition its weird/predatory

>>40729747
what about bi men

>>40707666
its me again. 20yo repressor.
i think im jut gonna diy. even though the trans healthcare in my country isnt too bad, id much rather do it in secrecy than tell my family im a tranny and then wait a year for a therapist + endocri. i figured out a way to get needles. normally i wouldve tried starting with just pills but EU customs are evil as fuck and theres no way to get pills from within the EU. so ill just order from a homebrewer from within the eu. id rather face the risk of contaminated estrogen than keep repping any longer... thankfully my family still gives me some money every week. maybe getting myself out of this hole ive dug myself in will be easier if my body stops actively working against me.

>when you're sad about gender dysphoria but you remember God loves you and you are reminded of the promise of eternal joy in heaven

We're all gonna make it.

>>40730686
>he thinks dysphorics will get to heaven

>>40730721
Only people not getting in are bitterhons.

>>40722115
But where does the mental illness come from? It must be something societal because cave people were not trans. So both the top and bottom gymnasts are true

>>40730721
isaiah 56

>>40731268
>because cave people were not trans.

this is false thoughbeit.

>>40731375
They were like starving all the time and didnt have mirrors. I genuinely do not believe they had gender dysphoria

>>40731375
I agree, since I believe transgenderism is a form of neurological variation, but I don't know any examples of human remains in cross-gender graves as you might see in later societies?

>>40731677
>I believe transgenderism is a form of neurological variation
You believe the girl in boy body thing

Masculinity=strength
Strength=freedom
I will never not be broken, but maybe I can be strong, but everyone can tell i just know it.

>>40731984
Women are strong too in a different way. Its internal rather than external. At the end of the day we just choose which side of the yin yang we want to be on. Its ok to choose to be a woman

the best way to make pinkpillers leave you alone is to just say you wish you were a loli

>>40731971
Sort of, I think there's a pretty wide spectrum of "boyness" and "girlness", some of which is of course culturally contingent, but I do think that ultimately transgenderism is caused by some kind of variation in the somatosensory that causes an "erroneous" cortical homunculus.

At least I think that's far more plausible than any of the psychological and social theories, none of which have held water despite decades of research (abuse of patients)

i will never understand why never passes transition. all the effort and money and time to just look like a joke no matter what you do. i do not understand.

>>40732192
they are self-confident, brave and want to live the best life they can, I wish I was that brave

>>40732205
is it really brave to look like a gay man in drag? is that bravery or stupidity mixed with narcissism?

>When you're not horny so you have zero interest in transitioning
feels good tran

>>40732192
i want to start hrt just for the mental changes, maybe it'd improve my ability to imagine being a real girl

>>40732222
yes it's brave, there's nothing wrong with that

>>40732241
i don't want mental change i want to look like a woman, but that's impossible since i am a masculine adult man.

>>40732251
so do i, but i know it's only possible in my imagination

>>40732247
i don't understand how it's brave to wave your mental illness and inability to be objective about your looks in everyone's face.

damn man. i will say it's always sobering to see self aware/self loathing nonpassing trannies who look worse than me still transitioning. i guess i give those people credit. cause i know i would pass better than them but i still repress out of self hate myself.

>>40732127
>some kind of variation in the somatosensory that causes an "erroneous" cortical homunculus
This is interesting, never thought about it like that and you may be onto something

new thread
>>40733041
>>40733041
>>40733041

>>40725459
This is basically how I feel, I feel like I got tricked into it being dysphoric from this board because I was told I could actually live out my porn dreams and not doing so is painful. I've always been obsessed with fantasy and as a kid spent a lot of times pacing in my room imagining I was a character in the anime I watched. My theory for myself is that the porn I was exposed to as a kid became another fantasy and learning how reachable it actually was to me made it into a fetish.

Maybe someone needs to start a coomrepgen because I feel very different from others here.

>>40728936
am i malebrained for never being recommended any of these