Thread 40830208

alcohol edition
QOTT: what is your favorite way to provide temporary relief from the tranny thoughts?
last thread: >>40776664

>>40830208 (OP)
>QOTT
I fantasize about murdering women.

>>40830208 (OP)
not a repper anymore ahaha but it was always alcohol back in the day. every night blackout drunk. happy repping queens <3

>>40830208 (OP)
>QOTT
masturbating and gaming
they're both working less and less

>>40830242
moids just can't stop themselves being violent huh? it's good you're repping

Friendly reminder how fucking cursed it is being born like you. Stuck never letting yourself be you lmao

>>40830471
I don't need to be reminded of that anon
I would love to be able to be me, but it's too late for that now

>>40830481
I know, it's mostly just a reminder for myself on how shit my life could have been if i didn't have the balls

>>40830208 (OP)
question for reppers. Isn't the least manly thing you could is super risk averse.

I mean many of you just play videogames and jerk off and cry and stuff about not being trans. but thats kind of pathetic and not becoming of a man.

Real men take risk which is why you would start taking estrogen and try at least to become women.

Hope this helps :)

>>40830208 (OP)
weed, feels slightly more sustainable than booze
>>40830684
lol lmao

>>40830208 (OP)
my recent fap sessions have just been forced masculinization and imaging it being done to an agp youngshit passoid

>>40830684
i get what you're doing but this doesn't really help

>>40830974
>>40830983
surely it would be healthier than this

>>40831013
i'm trapped and there's no way out

i wish i could just turn my brain off and just believe in christianity and use the bible to guide my life, i could say im a freak because of demonic influence or that my fucked up psyche is part of god's plan for me
but i cant bring myself to hate faggots and be super trad and stuff
what do

>>40830208 (OP)
Fall asleep after watching porn all day

I wish I had a button that would swap me between a male, androgyne (amab), androgyne (afab), and female body instantly
God I hate being genderfluid

I’m a man
I’ll never look like a woman no matter what I do.
It’s impossible.

Im broke repper
I have feeling that my life is just prolongation of a slow painful suicide
When do I actually have courage to kill myself?

>>40832992
Instead of committing suicide, you should wander around and travel or do sightseeing. If you don't have money, you should sleep on the streets.

>>40830208 (OP)
>QOTT
Reading books
It's fucked up how I even tried hrt but still felt unsure of what I wanted. Being gender unsure doesnt work in society and i like when my family talks to me and doesn't sees me as a freak. Fuck my indesicive repper life

>>40833010
>Instead of committing suicide, you should wander around and travel or do sightseeing.

Is that supposed to help with my mental illness? Le dysphoria

>>40833010
>Instead of committing suicide, you should wander around and travel or do sightseeing

Some YouTubers says thats king of goislope because i actually can watch all of that online at home

But anyway
visiting local gay club counts?

>>40833084
No, but then you realize that you are nothing among people

>>40830208 (OP)
Manifesting a thoughtform reality shift of only women. That or wine.

>>40831359
Belief is practiced, you don't just switch your brain off and acquire it like dropping below a certain IQ threshold would suddenly make it accessible. If you actually want to believe in Christianity, make an effort to learn about it and practice it. Smarter people than you have believed it.

>>40830684
I'm a detrans repper tbf

trannies disgust me
>>40830684
Even reppers are more feminine than you honnie

I don't use this board but it's suffocating and isolating. I typed out so many things but I'm not special or unique. I wish I could love myself or see a future that involved someone. I'm tired of having a mask on towards every single person because no matter what everyone has an agenda. It feels like my life will just be bitter and I have to bury myself in the pursuit of art. I'm tired of feeling like I have survivors guilt over something so fucking retarded as this.

Anyone else have the fantasy of being married off to a guy who takes care of you

I wish I were a woman.

>>40830684
There's a difference between being brave and stupid. Brave is taking risks, opening yourself to the possibility of success despite the possibility of failure. If you can succeed and you know that success will make you genuinely happy, if you KNOW that's what you want, then be brave. Take the leap and be satisfied with having tried even if you fail. Stupid is knowing you will fail horribly and be in a substantially worse place for having tried. I am not stupid, this would be like trying to jump the Grand Canyon in a civic with a 3 foot ramp. Side note, don't appeal to my masculinity like I'm still tied to the least obligatory parts of being male.

>>40830684
I literally do this lol

t. hrtrepper

>>40835137
how long does it take to get hrt

I WISH I WAS A WOMAN

>>40833756
You repping?

i had hope for a bit but genuinely, looking in the mirror i dont see what has changed in 4 years of attempting to clean myself up a bit, i took hrt for a while, progresterone, dutasteride, got laser, the works. and i still just see the same fucking ugly face staring back at me. i dont feel human, i was never human and im almost 30 and have no prospects.

I wish I was fembrained

why didn't I transition when I had the chance why why why why

>>40836592
Same desu.

Why should I bother living if I was born male and can't ever become female? I couldn't even get lucky with these 50/50 odds, no point in anything.

when i was 12 i shaved my legs and arms because i hated how hairy i was

when i was 13 i went on omegle and pretended to be a girl to get compliments

when i was 14 i met a trans person and wondered if i was like that

when i was 15 i went to a girls sleepover and they dressed me up like a girl and said i was pretty, i cried looking in the mirror the next morning

when i was 16 i tore my hair out looking in the mirror and was constantly disassociated

when i was 17 i stopped trying to make friends and began isolating

when i was 18 i put selfies of myself into faceapp to see what i would have looked like as a girl and cried

when i was 19 i tried to ignore the pain
when i was 20 i tried to ignore the pain
when i was 21 i tried to ignore the pain
when i was 22 i tried to ignore the pain
when i was 23 i tried to ignore the pain
when i was 24 i tried to ignore the pain
when i was 25 i trooned out for 6 months and realised i would never pass and gave up
when i was 26 i tried to ignore the pain
when i was 27 i tried to ignore the pain

>>40837174
I'm on nearly the same path as you, but I started E after the sleepover with the help of the girls.
I still ended up here.
Can't you at least just take E and manmode? Did E itself not make you feel any better?

>>40837239
yeah the estrogen did kinda help but hrt is its own kind of dysphoria like, i still look exactly how i used to look, im just uncanny and have boobs. i looked weird and felt ashamed

though at this point, i guess it doesnt matter anymore, nothing matters. when i was 18 i felt like the ugliest manliest fuck in the world, that was 10 years ago. if i had somehow gotten hrt at 14 i would have made it

>>40837239
i used to wear makeup as a boy at school and i didnt care that everyone looked at me weird because it was so fulfilling to me, i dont know how i was so brave. now as an adult im a complete coward, i think watching my face just turn into a mans face broke me, i dont deserve femininity anymore

my options are be a hon now, be a hon later, or kill myself

>>40830208 (OP)
take your HRT, retards

>>40837262
then just take the E, and maybe one day you'll be able to go further.

Do reppers consider trans women to be "real" women? I'm kinda flaky on this one. Obviously they're not biological women, but that's not what I'm going for.
In one side, there's some trannies that actually try to assimilate into the general social role of a woman, while others bask in their trannydom. I would consider the former socially female, while the latter gender nonconforming at best.
Why are some trannies so loud and proud about being trans? It's like there's two different movements under one banner.
What do you guys think?

>>40837577
nah calling even the most demure and pliant tranny a 'real' woman is an insult to my mother, who had to carry me in her womb and raise me

>>40837577
>Do reppers consider trans women to be "real" women?

Nope. Being trans is a mental illness. There's nothing morally culpable about being mentally sick and we should have pity on trannies and help them as far we can but let's not entertain their delusions.

And Yes I say this as a repressing tranny myself

>>40837577
trans women are women, except for me

It's weird that I sometimes consider killing myself to be a preferable alternative to transition. It's not because I think being dead is better than being a tranny, it's more like it feels so fucking humiliating to transition but more on an identity level than a social one.

anyone have any idea what im talking about.

i dont really want boobs but i sure hate looking like a man

I'd rather be cis and miserable than trans and happy.

22 is too late, fact.

>>40837577
I have mixed feelings. I can at least acknowledge that there's more than one definition of woman though.

>>40837577
i consider some trans women i know to be more women than most cis women, since its something they chose and fought for and are embodying well i cant imagine them any other way

but for most of us no we arent real women, we're lazy insufferable narcissistic men

>>40835065
Sure I won't appeal to your masculinity. But It's certainly human to take risks. It's in your blood to do so. It's why you exist in the first place. Somewhere down your ancestry tree, some guy took some risk which gave birth to your bloodline.

And plus, I don't really believe that risk taking is supposed to be that calculated. The idea of failure or success should be noise to the vertigo you experience while watching the dice roll. Risk taking is about those fractions of a moment where you don't know what will happen. Not about hedging on your odds of success or failure. In my opinion, it's where you feel most alive.

And I think fundamentally you are not alive when you live this pathetic life of self denial. You look at the odds and just chicken out. Have you ever been alive?

Just be a tranny retard. It's the one shot you get.

i cant do it anymore being forced to hrtrep knowing that i will never once in my life malefail or be perceived not as an ugly manly moid is hell, why did i do to deserve these measurements and body i want to cry but i cant even do that because im a soulhon malebrained idiot

>>40838870
> why did i do to deserve these measurements and body
probably the same thing as most trannies commuted the sin of indecision

>>40838913
i repped for as a teenager because i was very scared of my very non supportive parents and i actually believed this will all pass away with time, it did not and now my life is ruined and its all my fault

>>40838938
>actually believed this will all pass away with time, it did not and now my life is ruined and its all my fault
same :(

>>40838765
>But It's certainly human to take risks. It's in your blood to do so.
have been reading east of eden by steinbeck recently and there's a passage in there about the translation of the story of cain and abel where they have a whole discussion about the turn of phrase used to describe god's edict to cain. the two translations in the english bibles they find amount to either a command or a promise; one of the characters then posits a better translation would be that god gives a path to live a life free of sin and that agency is the most energizing thing possible. having the ability to make choices and have real impact on your own life is what makes you human:
> It is easy out of laziness, out of weakness, to throw oneself into the lap of deity, saying 'I couldn't help it; the way was set.' But think of the glory of choice! That makes a man a man. A cat has no choice, a bee must make honey. There's no godliness there
anyway remember kids: anyone can say "I couldn't help it" but it takes a real one to spit in the face of god and keep repping

>>40838870
>hrtrep
rope nigger

>>40837577
if they pass then I'm perfectly fine with treating them as a woman, which is to say 99% of trans women are not real women

>>40834620
yeah

>>40837577
I view them as a female-adjacent third sex unless they're totally masculine hons who seem immune to the effects of estrogen, in which case I just view them as weirder men. Socially I think people should just be treated how they look and come off as.
Personally I would almost certainly be a totally masculine hon immune to the effects of estrogen so transitioning wouldn't be worth it for me, but it definitely is for some people and I'm happy for them but also extremely jealous.

>>40839490
why im sorry i did this i know i want to rope but i will never be able to rep correctly i tried i promise please

>>40839852
no need to be sorry just that you're a manmoder not a repper.

>>40839959
im not even a manmoder manmoder have aspirations to become a boymoder or even pass some time im more like a repper, even online i only use he him and not let anyone gender me female because my soul is male its wrong to call myself trans

>>40830208 (OP)
Kikuri is for the transfemmes... don't steal her from us!!

>>40830208 (OP)
>QOTT
Crying, followed by more crying

>>40840082
all alcoholics are allowed to post Kikuri

>>40840039
you take estrogen and present as male you are a manmoder
t. manmoder

>>40840263
i am never ever going to pass or even malefail, nobody offline or even online uses she her for me, i originally started taking e hoping to get mental changes but even this didnt fix my terminally male soul
im not a manmoder i dont really share anything with them

>>40840320
stop trying to make manmoding something its not. i will never pass i dont malefail im male to core. but i take e and present male so that makes me a manmoder.

don't take your HRT, retards

>>40840351
i guess? so im a neverpasser malebrained and souled manmoder, is that so much better? im still the same amount of miserable

>>40840368
finally, someone brave enough to say it

>>40840368
If you say so, Mr. Loggia

>>40840398
idk i was kinda being a sperg about it sorry

pre hrt
am i gmi?
21
will order in a week when my crypto turns liquid and will prolly start a week after that
voice sample:
https://vocaroo.com/1j6rXepgErDl

>>40840468
>>40830208 (OP)
i forgot to fucking paste the unsee cc link fml
https://unsee dot cc/album(hashtag)RA5hu3BV2LaR

>>40840468
>>40840480
ALSO some other useful data: i'm getting a nosejob and a blethorplasty(?) i think it's called in december so my face as a whole may look very different soonish

>>40840468
i don't know if there's a place on this board where people would be less equipped to know
unless you just wanna be told yngmi in which case yngmi

>>40840480
im sorry anon :/ that pic isnt the best

>>40840468
Forehead is cooked but otherwise might turn out alright with better brows

>>40840515
i just dont wanna intrude in other peoples places and i feel like people here are the most realistic about potential results.
>>40840518
i just got out of the shower and the existential thoughts kicked in so y'know. i picked out some better ones out of my phone just now though so here you go.
https://unsee dot cc/album#hnTu7O769K26
>>40840539
everyone in my family has hella big foreheads unfortunately, a thing that's gonna be taken care of in my future ffs for sure

>>40840712
>https://unsee dot cc/album#hnTu7O769K26
sry brother

>>40840712
the whole conceit of the thread is having a negative view of your own odds of passing and choosing to be wildly mentally ill. i get not wanting to intrude but this isn't realistic lol, you think people talking about being "neverpasser malesouled manmoders" have a grip. myself included

my punishment for being a bad person is repping and ruining my life

>>40840248
This has been factchecked by true drunk patriots

Tonight I'm going to get an AI to call me a girl and nobody can stop me.

>>40832992
Whenever I get really suicidal it makes me feel powerful and bereft of all care in the world and then it makes me think if I'm going to die and don't care about this world why don't I just transition, and then the day after I puss out again, stopping me from ever finding peace, starting to just rationalize that it might be worth it even if i'm a clocky lolcow

Post your repsona.

Enbyreppers, how do you cope? At least the girlreppers can take estrogen

>>40842930
Repsona? What, a woman or female character you identify with? In that case, mine is a secret, but I will say she's themed after an axolotl and I identify with her because of her tragic fate and that she felt rejected by the world and god.

>>40843194
still take estrogen

im too ugly to be a women

>>40842930
agp and malebrained as fuck but whatever

>>40842930
what's a repsona anon

The more I read this board the more I feel like death is the only cure

>>40844960
same, only gets worse with time

>>40830208 (OP)
I escape reality with video games and getting really fucking high.

But then when I’m high I start fantasizing about moving to some random nowhere town, cutting off all my current relationships, and trooning out without telling anyone until I pass as cis. Then I go to bed, rinse and repeat.

I don’t believe that it gets better

>>40842920
i think its just the survival instinct kicking in
mine keeps making up weird painful scenarios i could fail since it can't fool me in the hope department as i'm all out of it

>>40843758
Having tits would kill me

>>40830684
Let's play Russian roulette! After all, real men take risks.

>>40837174
>when i was 15 i went to a girls sleepover and they dressed me up like a girl and said i was pretty, i cried looking in the mirror the next morning

Giwtwm.

:p

>>40846323
giwtwm for all of that, naturally soulpassing, cant imagine

I love repgen

i love you more than i hate faiqqets man*** weirdos & trannies repgen

i love you repgen
plese help me gang-up on the monstrous weirdos :)

best general

>>40846572
yeah, I love repgen
been here for years.
Thinking about uploading my repressor meme folder I've built up over time.

i took my hrt and now im a man with tits, so thank you pinkpillers

>>40846736
please do ive been looking for images like your picrel for a while now

>>40846749
do you feel better mentally at all? That's the one reason I'm probably going to crack. I don't even care about passing I just want to stop feeling like shit.

>>40846284
to be fair I would absolutely give it a shot if I had an 83% chance of success, for me transitioning would be more like playing with a fully loaded revolver and hoping for a dud

I hate repgen, but I've been trapped here for years with no chance of ever escaping.
I do appreciate the company of my fellow damned souls though

>>40846736
this image is evil and I hate it
there are no doomed repressors in anime world, we are a 3dpd phenomena
also if a foid said this to me I would want to kms in front of her

>>40846894
Isn't that the point, to lure you in with what sounds like support then her twisting the knife in when she insists on you being a boy?

>>40846736
if a foid did this to me I'd have kids with her then troon out

>>40837577
I know the truth is that cis women will always have more freedom. They're often praised for gender nonconforming behaviors, but trans women will always be terrified of not passing, and it's all or nothing.

looking at 20 year old trans girls to make myself upset

"mental effects" BETTER be fucking real. I swear to God if you pinkpillers are lying to me.

Idk why, but my tranny (submissive) fetish, or whatever manifests only through porn, I don't wanna be seen as a girl or wear girl's clothes in private or in public, etc.

But I was just speaking to my gf and all my brain was thinking about is porn and how do I get inside my room and jerk off, to fat old and hairy dominant men screwing and smashing trannies or women (mostly trannies) with their alpha cocks. I love them getting facefucked, spat on, abused, etc...

This urge appears once or maybe twice a week, it's not often but it's really fucking hot and I feel like my cock is about to explode. I really wanna get fucked like this I want to worship cock and be fucked by a much older man than me..

Btw I'm bisexual

>>40847870
>I really wanna get fucked like this I want to worship cock and be fucked by a much older man than me..

same.

fave general

my life is over

My life never begun

>>40847772
Tranny here
They are lying

>>40847772
They're not...
At least not for me. I've tried hrt just because of them, and I've felt no difference.

>>40846736
Do it
I live that pic
Suicidefuel
Still cis though
I do struggle with self acceptance
I am a man
I deserve manly life
Help me
I’m dying as we speak help!!!
HELP

>>40847870
Btw I developed this fetish as an adult. It just comes in a cycle, just as my masculine urge to fuck brains out of my gf, I also get this urge to be fucked and watch tranny porn

I wanna know why do I have this urge to watch porn like this, while I don't feel things anons above me feel, I don't get stuff like "omg I'm not a girl I wanna kill myself".

In fact I go out of my way to look more masculine usually, for example like wearing 1 inch soles in my shoes to be just above 6 ft, I'm 6 ft barefoot but use soles to appear 6'1, so idk why do I get this urge to watch porn like that

My soul is male
Hrt did nothing
My soul is male
Everything I am is male
Porn agp told me to troon but I’m not a woman so it’s pointless and actively harmful
My soul is male
My soul is male
Nothing can be done
I’m detrans! I’m free! I’m detrans! I’m free! My soul deserves to be mske! I deserve a male life!
I’m a man!

>>40847880
Yep


Can anyone please reply to >>40847870 and >>40847972
I'm still trying to decode why is this type of porn so hot to me

i love repgen
if anyone fucking asks I'm a repressor silly-cunts die every 5 minutes

i love repgen

help me

I’m a trans poser
A faketroon if you will
A transtrender
AMA

>>40848039
>I'm still trying to decode why is this type of porn so hot to me

No idea, but it turns me on when bisexual men talk about their cocklust while in a straight relationship.

but im straight up gay

always funny when these threads just devolve into someone having a meltdown
take your pills if you're losing your shit this badly lol

>>40848315
sorry

>>40848281
How and when did the tranny thoughts start for you?

>>40848314
>No idea, but it turns me on when bisexual men talk about their cocklust while in a straight relationship.
Heh

I'm bi, in a straight relationship and I want men to literally fuck my teeth in with their cocks, spit in my mouth and I want them to make me lick their hairy asses

Is that good enough? I'm such a whore

>>40848337
4 years ago at 25 when I gooned too hard one night

>>40848368
Kys faggot

>>40848385
Dw I will

:p

>>40848357
>is that good enough

yes.
Just don't cheat on your gf

>>40848368
No memory of any tranny thoughts before that? Not even anything inconspicuous like just not fully relating to other guys?

>>40848368
See >>40847870 and >>40847972

Are you "tranny thoughts" similar as mine?

>>40848440
Dw, i'm too much of a coward. And I bet I wouldn't enjoy the real act as nearly much I enjoy the porn

Apparently, getting fucked by guys is disgusting and way worse than porn.

>>40848315
repgen trending is based and sinister

repression is better than transition
healthier on your brain
less cancer risk too!
making yourself y'know neurotic & insufferable is stupid

>>40848478
No
Men aren’t a kinky fetish to me
My only fetish is being a hot bitch
You are gay anon

>>40848478
Who knows
I don’t remember anything no
I was always a social outcast if you are asking that but I wasn’t the only one

repression is healthier mentally than trooning out Lol
red-pills!

repression is less deranged than trooning out

>>40848530
oops wrong reply >>40848450

>>40831692
I also wish I was able to switch freely

I’m not genderfluid, it would just make life with transphobic family easier if i could snap back to cis for them.

Also so i don’t have to deal with hrt

>>40848530
Maybe you were heavily dissociated in some weird way? I'm very similar with barely remembering a thing, being a social outcast, and the tranny thoughts suddenly appearing in my 20s

>>40848571
>>40848613
wrong

>>40848661
maybe if they post it 50 more times they'll convince themselves

there is no good argument for trooning out instead of repressing in current year

Is this song about repping?

https://youtu.be/ThaW-YMFVus?si=EnC6et9L5CfJNCvv

>>40848658
no
im faketrans/transtrender
its all an agp fetish

dont drink anymore... but for sad rep drinking nothing tops this. sends chills and tears to eyes every time it flows and glows in my mind...
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5dkpk1gmaDc
>>40848315
lately feel close too it. ran out of morphine... maddeining thoughts, crushing longingbsucking at your soul, glowy, etheral visions of living as a woman... more in like 60-90s but i feel aa i never grew up. having clouded mind helps. active addiction too as it diverts lots of thoughts and attention to obtaining drug, making time for it, make it secret and ritual of consumption. But this is more of booze or opiates thing, when opiated you chill playing as a girl, listening to music, looking at art daydreaming. it was my sacred evening. it makes. you less thoughtful, numb sorta... being drunk crying about being girl and being dead when dry. ran out of morphine, only doing NEP as i bought 25g bag. When doing flakka at least i was too brainfogged and buttmad to feel it in such way. its more of a dirty "agp" drug with wacky paranoia and delusions. getting financially better it might be that i will end up having meltown, fleeing my cuntry and trooning. i thing of being woman almost all time.

>>40842639
How'd that work out for you?

I wanna be on the floor kneeling with makeup, blond wig and lipstick on, with my tongue sticking out like a whore I am and a 60 year old man spitting in my mouth

I want my lipstick smeared all over his hairy big cock

I wanna be used by men and abused

Can you please insult me and call me a worthless whore?

>>40848941
This is basically how my tranny thoughts manifest... Lol... Why do my "tranny thoughts" manifest in lust and fetish... : and not like anon above me in >>40848907

>>40848907
damn you're really in the fuckin weeds if you're doing NEP, I feel like stims like that would make it way worse the way people describe just constantly masturbating on it. are you trying to kick the drugs at all or just riding it as long as you can?

>>40849046
i ride it. actually i feel weirdly lucid now, more so than i was doing just codeine... image of me as woman with melody from misic video haunts me even now. never trurly went away... really afraidbof consequences if i troon in future.

oh yes masturbating on stims. i still have buds from time i messed with phytoesteogens so i just end up rubbing them at night, on alpha pvp all night. but its dirty and spooky... too attention grabbing ijterferes with function

>>40849100
just make sure you're sleeping and drinking some water, NEP is super fiendish right? probably feel more lucid than you actually are

Why do my tranny thoughts manifest in fetish and urge to masturbate, but not in suicidal thoughts or in need to wear female clothes?

not really apvp is... and it does manifest from both ways lust and "spiritual" longing...

>>40848857
It's not like it's going to go away now.
If it's just a fetish, then just enjoy it, but it's quite clear there's more to it

>>40849319
there is nothing to enjoy about any of this
fapping?
Who cares
useless activity

>>40848758
I think it's supposed to be about wanting to be popular or maybe a lesbian crush, but yeah way back when I first heard this song many years ago (in a fucking roller coaster game) the vibe it gave me humming along with it was wanting to be that girl.

>>40848933
She pat my head and called me a good girl. Nice in the moment but I felt sad afterwards, like always.

everybody is talking about how evil trannies again
why does the demiurge try to make repping as painful as possible? couldn't I just be miserable in peace without hearing about this shit fucking everywhere

>>40848724
maybe not but repping long enough it gets harder every year

>>40847992
>I’m detrans! I’m free! I’m detrans! I’m free! My soul deserves to be mske! I deserve a male life!

>>40850710
that's what detrans people look like but they're peering through a hole at the men that they can never be like

>>40850729
Nah, you detrans people do both. On one end you want to be women still, but on the other you want to WANT to be men.

>>40850710
Yes
I’m a creep
I’m a loser
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here
I should die
I run my dick till my dick dies

>>40850647
There's no choice but to repress, There's no winning. It'll be like this forever, if you say something wrong ever then your woman pass is revoked, if another trans person on the other side of the planet who you've never met before in your life does something awful then your woman pass is revoked.

And not only that but our whole existence is supposed to revolve around fetishized self-hatred to "apologize" for all of this shit by shoving all of this sin and hatred onto femininity, reflect how evil and immoral and worthless we all apparently are, like >>40848941

>>40830208 (OP)
>QOTT: what is your favorite way to provide temporary relief from the tranny thoughts?
Belief in an afterlife and that I will be made whole again once this life is over. Until then I'm just bedrotting ;-;

What's your MBTI personality type? Mine's INTP.

>>40851210
INTP as well.
(Schizoid too, and I mean schizoid personality disorder)

>>40851210
INTJ

/repgen/ after this most recent shooting do (You) feel a sense of smugness that you are not a tranny?

>>40851210
INFP...

>>40851363
no, I feel extremely depressed that innocent children got murdered and that I'm gonna have to hear people dehumanize gender dysphorics even more than usual for a while

>>40851210
intj or intp, I forget
>>40851363
yes although it does make me worried how it reflects on the unrelated groups I am a part of (worshipping anders breivik)

>>40851486
id say it reflects poorly on you pedo nazi cult

>>40851421
This. And trans people are only going to hate themselves more and be made to feel more guilt over something they had nothing to do with.

>>40851363
makes me feel hollow and absolutely awful for the victims, as well as the fact that while I'm not a dirty tranny, this is the last shit they need

shartyniggers need to stop raiding >:(

>>40851363
No, it makes me depressed that more people are going to hate trannies over it even though it's an obvious psyop. Repping isn't an identity to me, or some mark of pride, it's a mistake I made when I was young enough to make a difference, a mistake I have to live with now that I'm old. That's what makes us different, anon.

>>40851363
No, all it does is make me feel terrible for the victims killed and injured who were just expecting a regular church service, sick for trannies who will be mocked with the image of the crimson-chinned shooter for generations, creating future reppers, and lastly, powerless as this senseless tragedy will undoubtedly be used to violently strip trannies of their rights to bear arms and live peaceably among other things.

>>40851990
>creating future reppers

Really though, people forget that this kind of thing is exactly why so many people repress.

okay /repgen/ high time i come clean here
>i don't necessarily dislike masculinity but i don't think most of what it entails is a good fit on me, it's just not what i want to bring to the world
>i don't want the company and attention becoming more masculine would bring me and it wouldn't fit my personality (i've already integrated enough masculinity imo)
>i don't necessarily feel like a girl and don't think i can be one so i'm just a guy i guess
>but i have to admit i'm constantly aiming at appearing slimmer and softer and androgynous
>and i guess i'd much prefer to age like my mom instead of my dad
>...and puberty made me look stupid and dorky
i have no idea if i rep at all in the first place
g-give it to me str8
i need you're wisdom
sorry if this image sucks

>>40852430
I'm on the same boat. I'm currently repping because trooning out isn't the same as becoming a cis woman, as much as trannies try to claim otherwise. Sure, if I could become a cis woman I'd take the opportunity instantly, but I can make do with just being a feminine man.
You will probably dislike aging as a male and all that entails (body hair, balding, bulky frame), but you didn't mention any intense suicidal dysphoria, so it won't be impossible for you to just get used to the aspects you can't avoid.
Just go be a long-haired twink or something, that's what I plan to do and we seem to be pretty similar so idk it might work

>>40852430
>i have no idea if i rep at all in the first place
I'm almost the same as you, and also just as confused as to whether I do actually rep to begin with.
Some days I feel like I took one too many wrong turns and ended up here by pure coincidence. Like I could've been just a regular guy if things played out differently.
At the same time, I do wish I could be a woman, or at least not a man, occasionally to an almost crippling degree. Despite that, I can't even tell whether I'm dysphoric, since I feel no distress from the fact that I am a man, nor does my body feel explicitly wrong.
It does feel like I am repressing something, but I can't tell if being a tranny is actually it

I'm just gaslighting myself. I'm a fake

>>40851363
no because i still think about manmoding and i don't want to keep repping

i feel overwhelmed i just want to cry

>>40853826
This is just going to read as an empty, hollow, self-serving platitude, but I desperately wish I could take your anguish away and fuse it with mine own, as well as all the anguish of reppers and trans people in general who undeservedly suffer in silence. If it meant only I had to live in constant sorrow for the rest of my life so that every repper and trans person could feel joy it would be worth it.

>>40853826
I wish I could stop obsessing over this shit

>>40851210
ESTJ

>>40852430
think i feel pretty similarly, it's not that i'm actively upset about my gender as much as it just feels a bit clunky while also being convenient. i hate being called "sir" but more out of it seeming ridiculous and less that it hurts. i do kinda wonder if it's an enby thing with not wanting to be more masculine while also not really feeling like a woman. like i've genuinely been asking myself "would this have been better / how would it be different if i was a woman" and the answer isn't ever really anything different. and even then if i was enby does that even change anything? what am i going to do differently, paint my nails more and dress weird? idk

>>40830208 (OP)
test

okay i'm a bit surprised at the replies guys. i thought prior to this that i was too different, but i mean, i was drawn here enough to post. i'm glad i posted, thank you all. i hear you.
>>40853571
>Sure, if i could become a cis woman i'd take the opportunity instantly
yeah, i probably would jump at that opportunity as well.
>You will probably dislike aging as a male and all that entails (body hair, balding, bulky frame),
yeah, like a lot. genetic history shows i'm gonna become some manner of tolkien dwarf, unless i keep up a consistent fitness effort. so that'll be that
>Just go be a long-haired twink or something, that's what I plan to do and we seem to be pretty similar so idk it might work
yeah the rockstar route, many of those dudes age really well. the raggedness of age itself looks good on them.
i mean i certainly wouldn't mind aging into a cool wizard.
i do have long hair :P
(1/?)

>>40853580
>Some days I feel like I took one too many wrong turns and ended up here by pure coincidence. Like I could've been just a regular guy if things played out differently.
good point. i'm not sure why i feel like this is a side effect of a certain temperament + alienating/lonely environment growing up. so, being an outsider.
>At the same time, I do wish I could be a woman, or at least not a man, occasionally to an almost crippling degree. Despite that, I can't even tell whether I'm dysphoric, since I feel no distress from the fact that I am a man, nor does my body feel explicitly wrong.
i getcha. you know, for me, it's as if playing the role of a man's precisely that, a play. a cosplay.
but- playing the one of a woman wouldn't not feel like a cosplay either, perhaps less in some respects, still a cosplay nonetheless.
not to get woowoo but it reminds me of the general "spiritual" idea of androgyny. maybe it's not so bad, not wanting to anchor yourself to one or the other.
>It does feel like I am repressing something, but I can't tell if being a tranny is actually it
ikr. so maybe it's that, not wanting to pick, and that being valid in itself. idk.

(2/3)

>>40855051
>i hate being called "sir" but more out of it seeming ridiculous and less that it hurts.
holy shit yes. it sounds so silly when i get that. mostly because most people still treat me as a boy and clock me as 15 (i'm 20). but it sure is gonna get weirder getting told "sir" more and more with age.
>i do kinda wonder if it's an enby thing with not wanting to be more masculine while also not really feeling like a woman. like i've genuinely been asking myself "would this have been better / how would it be different if i was a woman" and the answer isn't ever really anything different. and even then if i was enby does that even change anything? what am i going to do differently, paint my nails more and dress weird? idk
i hear you. i've also wondered this. let me suggest that we may already be vaguely gender nonconformant (enby? i guess it can be called enby, not sure how else) and we can simply act upon that however we feel like.
a big reason why i'm touchy about these things is deliberately avoiding boxing myself into some label, subscribing to some implicated obligations of said label. though i think this is agreed upon.

as a footnote
sorry if i'm saying anything too weird or insensitive. and thank you again.

>>40855332
>but it sure is gonna get weirder getting told "sir" more and more with age.
lol ya, it's probably also a bit of immaturity on my part as well but there will be moments where i have to remind myself that i look like a guy in his 20s and that's why people act like that
>we can simply act upon that however we feel like.
>deliberately avoiding boxing myself into some label
agreed and same, but part of me thinks this is just cope because i'm too chickenshit to pick the actual label i'd like. turns it into more of a hobbyist sort of thing where i can show up to work or talk to a cop or something and ditch it when convenient
>sorry if i'm saying anything too weird or insensitive. and thank you again.
omg you're too cute you're fine

>>40830208 (OP)
>what is your favorite way to provide temporary relief from the tranny thoughts?
unironically hitting myself with a pipe
the lingering feeling of like a dullish pain draws my attention away from anything else because i have a really low pain tolerance
used to slam my head against walls as a kid and i'm like 90% certain i got brain damage from it so this is way better desu, considering i don't go outside the (fairly minimal) bruises don't cause issues

friend told me to my face to get a bf or gf who will force me to transition

>>40855682
stop hitting yourself with a pipe anon

>>40855706
it's better than turning to drink (or worse), i don't have the money to form an addiction like that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

>>40855423
>lol ya, it's probably also a bit of immaturity on my part as well but there will be moments where i have to remind myself that i look like a guy in his 20s and that's why people act like that
yeah! and i think there's no shame in looking like a guy, either. somehow, that sounds like something worth reaffirming.
doesn't mean we don't get to act cute.
or that wanting to reduce secondary sexual characteristics and all that fun stuff is incoherent.
>agreed and same, but part of me thinks this is just cope because i'm too chickenshit to pick the actual label i'd like. turns it into more of a hobbyist sort of thing where i can show up to work or talk to a cop or something and ditch it when convenient
i wonder that too. i'd like to say that this flexibility isn't necessarily cowardice or dishonesty, because that's really how some of us have been operating at the end of the day. and it's valid.
>omg you're too cute you're fine
hehe

>>40856007
though, i'll be fully honest.
as for "i wish i looked like a woman", sure, that'll always bother me on some level, but i see it as a brainworm equal to body dysmorphia. i could choose to agonize over it, or i could just not, just as "i wish i was taller/shorter" or "i wish my skin was easier to take care of" or... you see where this is going.
as any obsessive vicious cycle though, if you're caught up in it, it's an absolute bitch to get out of. so i truly do feel for those in that predicament.

shooter mogs me to hell and back
it's so fucking over

>>40856181
no way unless you have the chin of lord farquaad

I wish I knew I was trans when I was younger

>>40856298
>unless you have the chin of lord farquaad
so about that

>>40856385
i heard shrek the musical is hiring

>get raped to the point you don't want to be a man
is there a cure /repgen/?

>tfw asexual repper
I can't even blame this shit on AGP

>>40856349
I knew I was trans but I always heard about hrt as russian bath brewed stuff that was basically impossible for a teen to get so I didn't look into it more beyond on1on milk, flax, herbal supplements, whatever and trying to destroy my testicles lmao
I probably could've transitioned if I knew I could just talk to my gp about it.

>>40856697
Cure you say?

I wish I was trutrans and not faketrans repper male on hrt

>>40856929
>hrt
>repper
OFF MY THREAD

>>40856935
You are probably more woman than me tbhon

>trans obsessed chaser
>can never pursue a trans gf because I'm also detrans with breasts and they'd be annoying about it

>>40856958
My beard says no.

>>40856966
Why not just be a transbian?

>>40856978
because I'm a repper? I never passed so my dysphoria was worse presenting

>>40856973
Beards can be shaved and laser

>>40856987
yeah just pluck every individual anus hair and you'll be a woman

>>40856973
Do this btw you will feel great>>40856987

>>40856999
Never Satan.

there is no reason not to troon if hrt didnt give you breasts. im sorry for being faketrans, im sorry i think boobs on a male frame looks awful. i hate myself so much, why cant i be a real tranny?

haha imagine having breasts when you're a fit manual labourer haha that'd be weird
kms

I am now off hrt for two weeks after having been on it for half a year. Zero changes either way.

>>40857144
Me but I’m unfit like most people
Mmmm conetits puffy nips

i wish i had the gay brain of a hsts so i actuall yfelt like i was supposed to be a woman and not just a retarded mentally ill man

my personality is basically that of a mentally ill woman. all past gfs have said unprompted that I am extremely feminine but not in a gay way. I am too tall, too old (29), and too mentally ill to go on hrt, I am good looking as a man, judging off girls i have been with. I have no idea, I just feel confused looking at myself. The dysphoria get worse every year and I get more unstable.i often disassociate during sex because I feel so alienated. It's all fucked. I just want to wake up and realise it was a nightmare and I am a woman in a mental hospital.

I want to transition alongside a repper gf

>>40857035
What if gyno already gave you tits?

>>40857035
if hrt didnt give you breasts (at least not beyond a cup) and didnt make you infertile with erectile dysfunction i would take it. i just want more feminine face, softer skin with less body hair and curvier body.

>>40856966
Bro same.

>>40859273
You can use t-gel or viagra and what's wrong with boobs

>>40860362
flat is justice

>>40860334
let's become transbians together uwu

>>40861050
Well I admit I am back on hrt

This board is so fucking depressing. Even this board hates trans people

>>40861095
bruh
good for you though

>>40861103
i love trans people i'm just not able to join them

>>40858217
>too old
Yeah, this is what stops me. I attempted to transition at 25 and that was fine but it's too embarrassing to entertain at 30

I am a very well known oldtime repper figure that shall not be named, less the demon within return to rampant schuzo tier babble about skulls and how my deeply held (to my very soul) womanhood is somehow bad, wrong or false.

I repressed out of necessity, to cope and survive being trapped. Don't trap yourself, anons.

I, finally, after a truly hellish and horrible journey dealing with endless hell and zero support (still have no friends and ya'all always been traitors anyway, fuck the french especially) FINALLY started HRT 2 days ago, so I am no longer welcome here... but I checked the archive after like two years and

>you fuckers still talk about me from time to time

RENT FREE

That is all. Promised myself I'd only post again when I got my hormones, so.. guess I'm the traitor now!

What a wild ride it has been.

Also, fuck the new captchas to heck.

>>40861195
Just started at 29. Not over, anon.

>>40861166
Took me 14 years of repper hell and 2 years of brain destroying effort but I got there. Don't give up on your true self..

:p

genuinely hate how little it feels like I can regulate my emotions. just end up careening between everything being fine and staring at the ceiling and unable to do anything because of how anxious I am. felt dizzy and had a weird adrenaline feeling in my chest all morning
>>40861321
gratz

>>40861321
no way... THE john 50??

>>40861321
>started at 29
Yeah, but I did at 24 and didn't pass

>>40830208 (OP)
why do you rep?

>>40861489
scared

>>40861050
T4T isn't glamorous or what it's cracked up to be amongst the desperate yuri soulsthat inhabit this repper prison. It's drama and breakup hell. Enough to make a bi girl straight ngl..

Also, NEVER DATE 4CHAN USERS. That is all.

>>40861095
Please stay on it and don't fuck up ypur endocrine system by flip flopping. HRT progress is infernally slow. Be patient and kind to yourself.

>>40861103
It really, really is. Best thing I ever did was leave 4chan. Back here now for a Blast From The Past kinda deal. Also, lonely. Repgang used to be a big comfort to me in my worst dayseven though I was hated by almost all. Being the boogeywoman of the board was a ride.

>>40861417
Thankyou. It's been a hell of a journey decompressing a lifetime of trauma. I got supremely fucked up by all the years of turborepping.

Always been different though and social relqted pain hurts a lot more.

le repper to transcel pipeline.
>tfw no bf

Remember to fill out the form if the time comes.

>>40861321
Sup crystal

>>40861321
holy shit youre alive!

>>40861508
Do you remember me? I supported you
We can lakes on this board and agreed on everything
I hated you for so long
Fuck you

>>40859273
Surgery post-E can remove breast growth if you're non binary. Can experiment with various enby options.

Infertility can be gotten around by spermbanking,but function is an issue..though, trans porn dommes find a way, so.. ask them I guess?
For now, do laser and skincare? :)
>>40860697
Breast ugmentaion is more just, though, for a woman craving larger breasts. But that's me.

>>40861457
No. Not that old, I'm 29 lol.

Avitale guy is ancient now.

>>40861480
There is a hard truth in that passing is ultimately less meaningful - transition for your heart, soul and wellbeing - not for society's whims.

Better a happyhon is better than a repressor - but safety comes first. I'd urge the path of non-transitioner giving love to herself over REPPING, but few here are of sound mind and self-love to do so. It's an absurdly hard path as T rages on.

>waiting for EEn to ramp up be like: aaaaaaaa

>>40859171
Lucky you, if you want them. I myself have.. some. Will see how much that benefits me.. later.

>>40858427
Don't do this, anons. Trust me, t4t sucks. Two unstable individuals with fucked up attachment styles always ends badly.

Date when you're secure as you.. or find strong bf (I wish).

I could never transition. I'm too self aware. Luckshits have it good

>>40861503
poor girl.

>>40861602
>or find strong bf (I wish)
sissy shit, gross
ill date a tranny because my fetish is more refined than gross John 50 sissy shit

do you sill use your same name or did you pick a less stripper-y one

That's Mr Lilith....

>>40861517
Here. Sorry for shitty drawing using some scuffed app built into my device.

>>40861533
Hi. Don't go by that name anymore (nor Crystalia) but it remains a soul name of sorts and is near and dear to me,

>>40861550
AND transitioning!

>she thought anything could kill a hypergoddess

>>40861563
You're literally an anon, lol.

Hate is expected though, I was known as the villain. Hate away, justified too. I'm not here to claim innocence, just have a little fun.

4chan is a hatebox, water is wet.

>>40861604
We all say that. As the meme goes, see you in 14 years when you're injecting goddess knows what from some shady site into your outer thigh.

>>40861618
Uh, no. Sissy is hatred of one's feminine as a fetish because you secretly want it. I embrace and love myself as a woman and have never been a man. Just a caricature pretending on repgen.

>>40861626
Different name but you guys would hate it even more. Ya'all can bash my name all you want though. It's for me, not you.

And I'm keeping my new name to myself. Rather not doxx my planned legal name.

>be self loathing boymoder
>get affirming trans gf who love bombs me
>start voice training
>meet up
>feels awkward, really aware I'm a hon next to her
>dump her because of discomfort and spiral into detrans
I want to go back...

>>40861321
where's your rolls royce, you vile hon? I told you you'd start HRT eventually you fucking tranny, repression never works

>>40861752
> Ya'all can bash my name all you want though. It's for me, not you.
girl i swear to god if you picked another street walker name. please tell me you've encountered a cis woman with the same name.

the reason im like this is because the boys rejected me and i failed to be attractive to girls so as a coping mechanism for failing to be a man i reflected the object of my attraction onto myself. literally cant get a gf so i want to be the gf.

>>40861699
I dont hate you
Best of luck
Just know I was right in the end
The torture never ends
It’s all fake
But I knew all along you will troon out

>Cureanon transitioned
>Inter transitioned

It's so over.

>>40861321
Do you not see how arrogant you are? 2 days on HRT and you're giving a grandiose speech about how you have overcome your demons. You will be back soon enough

>>40861699
I’m literally crying because of you
Fuck
I hate you
I hate you
Why
Why
Fuck

>>40861321
do you still have your bentley

FUCK YOU CUREANON
You found your soul
And I trooned and I’m still a man soulhon

>>40861489
I don't, I started HRT 2 days ago.

However, the main reasons people rep are safety and social related. It's tragic indeed.

>>40858217
>too old
>my age
Bruh

>>40857991
>brainworm garbage to harm yourself for your genuine desires

>>40857321
Hondose, bad supplier, just bad luck and HRT immune? Blood tests to confirm E levels? Anything?

>>40857035
Enby isn't fake. also, hating your frame is dysphoria.

>>40861865
Shit the fuck up
Your soul is female
You do t get it
Go
>>>/mtfg/
Or Reddit

>>40856984
I like myself in a dress though, but that's me. Don't present lol

>>40856966
If you can't handle a little teasing, consider being ace.

>>40856929
Worms. No such thing as fake. Transition is an action, if you're doing it you're trans.

>>40861761
This is why t4t stinks, amongst a hundred other reasons. Dysphoria spiral is inevitable.

Be kind to yourself, though. Being trans is really hard. Stick with it, love yourself.

>>40861789
I honestly do feel worse about being attracted to girls, even though I'm into both. But at the same time, I don't really want other people to be into me as a man.

>>40861770
I'm a drivercel, lol. Never had even a Honda Civic.

It was trolling and cope. Go a laugh from me IRL though. So much vitriol. Unrepressing eventually made me less mad.

Repression did it's job and I don't even regret my repression. It saved my life n many ways untilI was able to be fully infependant.

>she doesn't know the deep lore

>>40861912
>teasing
more that they would pressure me into transitioning and being offended at my justification? maybe I'm overreacting, I wouldn't attract a transbian obviously but I presume most hsts wouldn't want a failed tranny either

>>40861938
>Unrepressing eventually made me less mad.
good
let this be a lesson to you all

I'm glad I'm too poor to afford hrt

>>40861771
My name is on the /tttt/ do not pick list, but more for being clocky than anything else.

And it's my damn name - I'm very unlikely to pass anyway and am aiming for a life away from people. Passing is irrelevant in the end.

I appreciate your concern but I am immune to works and shaming at this point.

>>40861912
>Transition is an action, if you're doing it you're trans.
Wrong
im a man on hrt
transitioning is more than hrt
ergo im not trans
just a man on hrt
im a poser
my soul is male

>>40861789
I don't even understand this beyond its worm babble.

What 4chan does to your mind.

>>40861792
I know transition solves nothing as far as many issuew. It's still experimental palliative care - but I need some damn palliative care.

I'm a social outcast anyway. I have nothing to lose but the hideous T.

It's an act of self love, ultimately.

>>40861804
INTER transitioned? Wow. I talked to her on a discord burner post crack and she was steadfast. I had to remove as she was too reppy. Good person though.

I wish I could voice train just for my head voice

>>40861813
I am the most arrogant and prideful girl around always have been and I'm proud of it.

I spent two years grinding in hell to get my hormoned. I deserve a little fun.

I'll be back, only to mog ;)

>>40861824
End of an era, fren.

The other side has cookies and cuddles. I'd recommend leaving the Sith and becoming a grey jedi.

>>40862056
im way past you
there is no pleasure here

>>40861832
I never owned one, lol. Made 200k off crypto tho to pay for srs and ffs and move out on chud's dime tho ;)

Literally taking 'phobes money. Dw all fiated out now, done with the grand casino thatbis crypto.

RICH SUCCESSFUL BUSINESSWOMAN (not happy but maybe if one day I find a bf)

>>40862086
>>40862056
nvm you have money
fuc you bitch

>>40861850
She was always there. She had a few emergences before and literally the whole time when you saw me reppost I was playing mmorpgs as a woman and getting euphoria, im ngl, and stuff like league feminine supports and stuff. Proof: look up my old banned league account crystalia lol if its still archived.

Didn't exactly hide it. Same goes for my discord trolling and many alts (I have no perma discord acc, I am personbanned on platform to this day, Contacts deep in the archives via session and matrix, but I probs wont be around much, busy with transition and trying to make more money for rent lol

my voice is permanently male
vt isnt real