I have obvious OCD, and I suspect I also have BPD. I've been an incel all these years, though, at the age of 25, having never gotten a girlfriend due to various reasons, including obesity and not going out very frequently. (Thank you, covid.) I feel like I get my emotional connection or whatever from my dad. Nobody comes close to him, and I would be devastated if something happened to him. I also live with him. He's been dealing with some random anger and anxiety from me for years, and I feel guilty for it, but I can't help myself. I always hug him and tell him I love him.

I also started this thread if you want to know what I'm like.
>>81823593

My mental illness bullshit, especially my insomnia (I can't work on a schedule, so no A time to B time jobs.), essentially keeps me from getting a job unless I get lucky. I also have a bit of a fear of driving cars, and I haven't gotten my license yet, but this is common with OCD. I am very dependent on my dad, and I have some fear over this, since, although I'm 25, he's a boomer, and I'm from a poor family of a bunch of mentally ill freaks in denial, so once he's gone, I'm screwed.

I was thinking I could have a girlfriend or wife replace him. I would be living at her place and just doing the housework and cooking. (My dad is a chef, so I'd be pretty good.) I would also be doing DIY projects and repairs around the house, as I've developed some technical skills over the years. This way of life would actaully be way more comfortable for me. Aside from essentially being a personal maid and chef, the only thing I would really be offering her is my body, and it seems as though women can get cock so easily, this doesn't really hold much weight. I have read about multiple abusive relationships where the boyfriend was completely draining the girlfriend, though. I don't want to be this type of parasite. It's just that I've determined this is possibly the most realistic outcome, and at least the most mentally healthy outcome, for me. I've been lifting since 2013, and I've even been taking steroids for the past 10.5 months. I just need to lose around 60 pounds of fat, and I'll be lean. I should have a pretty hunky body by then. My fantasy is for this woman to be older than me, like a decade to 15 years older than me, but 30 years old or older would still be nice. (I'm 25.)

>>81834803 (OP)
hello again! i was just wondering about you in another thread! :D
i had no idea you worked out, that will probably help your case. it is important to remember that these kinds of sugar momma relationships are exceptionally rare though. it might be a good idea to look for older women on dating apps if you happen use any of those. honestly kudos to you if you can achieve that sort of lifestyle, i wish i did. now without my dad i am just scraping by on like 600-700 dollars per month, sometimes i eat noodles / plain rice for days and its horrible. as always- good luck!

>>81835436
>it is important to remember that these kinds of sugar momma relationships are exceptionally rare though.
You're right, but relationships where the woman earns more or the man is a bum are more common. Sugar momma relationships are rare, because the woman is usually born into wealth or she's a wealthy divorcee. Almost no wealthy women are self made. Aside from me doing housework, including cleaning, occasional house projects, and cooking, I would essentially be a bum. (The female equivalent wouldn't be called this, though. Kek.) From my research, most relationships like this started out in teen years and early 20s. The couple got together in high school or college and married right away, sometimes with the involvement of substances, as is common with young people. The man ends up being a bum and the woman ends up working a decent-paying job, but they stay married and may continue having a loving relationship.

I've seen one example of high school sweethearts where this is essentially what happened. The man ended up getting all sorts of health problems due to alcoholism and eventually died in his 50s, and his wife was taking care of him and earning nearly double the amount he was prior to his early retirement. I also know of another couple where the man was initially doing odd jobs but eventually stopped since his wife was possibly making around $250,000 in the early to mid 2010s. I have no idea how they met and haven't talked to them for years.

I do NOT care that much about money. I also receive just a bit less than $1000 in NEETbucks every month, along with I believe less than $300 just for food, and I live with my dad for free. I would be happy with a woman who earns a modest middle class income who would be willing to put up with my mental bs. I just don't want to go nuts worrying about money. Aside from essentially being a maid and chef, I feel like the only thing I could really offer her is my body, and I know this is a weird thought for a man.

>>81835701
i think i understand a bit better now. you want less of a sugar momma and more of a breadwinner. i suppose i see how that could be tougher as a mid 20s. like you said, most of those relationships are established early on. in any case, i'll be wishing you the best! who knows, maybe you can find someone sooner than you think.

>>81835778
>i'll be wishing you the best!
Thank you, anon!
>i suppose i see how that could be tougher as a mid 20s.
Whenever I think about shit like this, it stresses me out. I feel like time, including my opportunities, are running out.

I should've started dating in high school instead of being so anxious over the thought of it. I had several girls crushing on me back then, including one really hot athlete girl. I also gradually got fat during this time, and I was medically morbidly obese (on the lower end) in my late teens, and then covid hit, and I was essentially a hermit all those years (not going to the gym), but still with my dad.

My current idea is to lose the rest of my fat (around 60 pounds) so I just look like a jacked guy in his 20s, and I hope to woo some older woman into being my girlfriend and potentially marrying her. Older people tend to have more money and be more in control of their mental health, so I figure she could be a provider for me (This still sounds funny and wrong in my head.) and be better able and willing to put up with my mental issues.

>>81835778
>>81835915
Also, maxim20007878 is my discord.

>I want sugar mommy as a mentally ill obese 25yo
That's the most delusional statment possible.
Women very rarely want to "date down" with someone of lesser status, even if you find a rich older woman that wants to act as a sugar mommy, which is already a miniscule demographic, why would she choose someone who's out of shape, already halfway through his 20s and mentally ill when she could easily find a fit good looking neurotypical?

>>81834803 (OP)
AJDKAKSNSKA
DO NOT
SELF DIAGNOSE WITH A PERSONALITY DISORDER ANY MENTAL ILLNESS BUT ESPECIALLY THOSE THEY ARE WAY MORE COMPLICATED THAN MUH DSM 5/9 THATS JUST SYMPTOMS BUT YOU CAN HAVE A COUGH BUT NOT HAVE COVID GET ASSESSED BY A CLINICAN

>>81836327
>That's the most delusional statment possible.
That's what it sounds like at the moment. I have been losing fat, though, and I'm already pretty jacked. I started lifting in 2013, and I've been on steroids for over 10 months now. I will possibly be lean by the time I'm 26, but I'll also be very jacked. I'm pretty disciplined with working out and diet. Yes, I'm not very young, but I figure a lot of older women will like me for my age, since I'm still a young dude, but I'm not one of those immature guys in their late teens or early 20s using substances and doing crazy shit.
>sugar mommy
Also, very importantly, I am NOT looking for a sugar momma. This woman could be making around $75,000, possibly as little as $60,000. I just want a woman to be a provider, even though this sounds a bit messed up. I still bring in around $1250 total each month through welfare, and I have free health insurance. I would just make sure (and this isn't difficult) that the gubmint doesn't find out / prove that I'm living with her.

>>81836367
>GET ASSESSED BY A CLINICAN
I am not certain I have BPD, since a lot of the symptoms are the same as OCD, funnily enough. It's just that I find the angry thoughts and shame and guilt to be a bit too much, even though OCD can cause the shame and guilt. The uncertainty over identity I have can also come from OCD. One thing that makes me really think I DON'T have BDP is the fact that I don't believe I have any detachment issues, but this could potentially be an illusion, since I live with my dad. The only anxiety I have is that at his boomer age, he could die or develop a serious medical condition any year, and he's the closest person in my life and I can't imagine anyone replacing him. I also depend on him, so there's a ton of anxiety over that. The thing is, detachment seems to be a core feature of BPD, even though by the DSM-5, you can get diagnosed with it without this symptom. A lot of my thoughts reflect narcissism, but I feel ashamed and guilty over those thoughts later, but apparently, there's potentially a bit of overlap between BPD and NPD. I can also go from being excited to feeling cringe / embarrassed over the fact that I was excited over something "stupid" just a few seconds ago. My self esteem is also very low, and I have a lot of entitlement that I feel ashamed and guilty over.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNi9bEeFOQU

>>81836367
>>81836451
This whole thing could also just be a retarded OCD obsession of mine. "Oohh, I might have BPD!" So fucking cringe. And then I get thoughts like "That's what WOMEN have. Are you a tranny?" (Yes, I know only some people get it, but there's around a 3 to 1 ratio of women to men.) I'm not sure if I would be able to talk to a clinician about all of this stuff. It's too weird. Here's the previous thread, by the way.
>>81823593

I'm actually kinda desperate. I am jacked and on steroids, and I could realistically see myself achieving 8/10 looks, at least 7/10 due to potential gyno and loose skin around my mid section, after losing the rest of my fat. I am NOT looking for a sugar momma. I just need a woman to be a provider for me after my dad passes, since I'm 25 and he's 68. I don't even care if there would be some gross discrepancy where I'm an 8/10 26-year-old and she's a 3/10 45-year-old.

I'm not certain I could fix myself naturally. I am planning on going back to college to study mechanical engineering this year, but I'm not sure how much my OCD bullshit will get in my way, and I'm not even certain I would be able to find a job for that degree that would work with my mental illness after the fact. I can't work any A time to B time (9 to 5 or the like) job due to my insomnia caused by OCD, and my obsessions could potentially get in the way of me doing any higher level job. Instead of thinking of how to solve some analytical problems, I would be focusing on OCD obsessions.

I still think finding some provider woman to essentially be a parasite to would be a realistic option, even though it doesn't sound that realistic. After all, I have been an incel all this time. I feel ashamed at this thought, and I wouldn't want to be nasty to a person like that; although, I have been like this to my dad, and I've felt really guilty about it over the years. I feel like I owe him immensely for everything he's done for me, but I can't make it up to him. I've realized that I may be like this for the rest of my life, and that the alternative would be to end up homeless or potentially stuck in an extremely unpleasant (at least for my insomnia) environment living with my mom.

Bump. I would love to get some ideas and input from fembots.

>>81834803 (OP)
Just go to old people events like church and romance the old bitches. Make them pay for the dates. They will get the idea. overtly ask for gifts and act offended if they refuse (after sex ofc lol)

>>81834803 (OP)
Didn't read because it's unreadable slop, but to respond to the thread title: replace your entire outward personality, start from scratch, skip all the cringe self-descriptions and made up "mental illnesses," and instead be entertaining and fun. As of now your walls of retard text are an absolute and total pussy-repellant

>>81839255
>church
I don't believe in religion.
>Make them pay for the dates. They will get the idea. overtly ask for gifts and act offended if they refuse (after sex ofc lol)
This is too manipulative. I would prefer an attractive woman around my age (Since I'm an incel, I would be so pure in comparison, but beggars can't be choosers.), and I find it hard to believe that I could actually fall in love with an old, ugly woman. And I don't need gifts and free dinner dates. I'm going to need a place to stay if my dad passes away. If I come to the conclusion that this is what I have to resort to, since I'm running out of time with my boomer dad (I love him, and I wish I could support him.), then I'm going to feel like absolute shit. I hate my life. I guess if I lost my fat and became jacked chad on steroids, I could bang attractive women every now and then, but being relatively broke is going to be kryptonite against long term dating and marriage. Still, if I'm a high earner, I would feel like a chump and have resentment essentially babysitting an adult woman with a much higher body count and way more sexual experience than me and having started at a young age who potentially has a child, while I would feel guilty in a scenario where I'm living off of the money a woman is making.

You have to be hotter than her
I had it happen when she was a 4 and I was 6/10. She would buy everything and pay for stuff and was addicted to me. But it unironically triggered me, and immaculately killed my sex drive idk why.

I'd do again but I have to find an ugly rich chick again.

21, 6'2, 6/10 face, 8 inch cock same goals as u, also ocd, also daddy dependent.

I wish I could get one which is why I want to get multiple facials until im ur age

>>81839852
Same but she was fat and pretty ugly and. She was younger. Honestly not worth it even a little bit. Rich people tend to be amoral and evil.

I think its not possible tho so ima rope

>>81839369
You dont believe in love either and yet you want an old girl to love you RIGHT?
Get with the fucking program. Church isn't about God it's about the bitches inside the church you FOOL

>>81840395
>also ocd, also daddy dependent.
I had so much hope when I was 17 and I moved out with my dad (away from my grandma, but that's another story). I thought that I would eventually get a high paying tech job and that my life by now (I turned 25 in June.) would be amazing, that I would have a beautiful wife and possibly be preparing to start a family. Damn, was I WAY off. I was studying to get various tech certificates when I was 17 and 18 with a lot of hope and enthusiasm, but then it dawned on me that I wouldn't be able to get any job with those certificates, since they're all 9 to 5 or A time to B time jobs, and the insomnia caused by OCD I have would prevent me from being able to hold any job that requires me to work on a schedule. I also didn't have a car or driver license at that time, and I still don't. I believe I am a fairly intelligent person, so I feel that I should be successful and making a lot of money and have a girlfriend / wife by now, but I don't have anything other than some NEETbucks and a place to stay at with my dad. It could be worse, but I feel super shitty for being below on nearly every metric for the average male my age.

>>81840452
>You dont believe in love either and yet you want an old girl to love you RIGHT?
I do believe in love, but I feel as though certain criteria must be met to actually get a girlfriend or wife in most circumstances, especially beyond your early 20s. In your teens and early 20s, you could fall in love with a girl, quickly marry her and reproduce, and she would likely stay with you, put up with your bullshit, and care for you, even if you don't improve in life and she does. She would feel a strong emotional connection to you, since she formed that when she was younger and not thinking as much due to lack of life experience and brain development. If you see a couple where the man clearly looks worse and the woman makes quite a bit more than the man, this is likely what happened, but it could also be due to the woman having mental issues. They fell in love and got married when they were stupid teenagers, and now she's super attached and feels as though he is her responsibility. I guess this is what love is, but in such situations, the woman must feel some level of displeasure or discontent. She'll put up with it because "We're married, and I love him."

>>81834803 (OP)
>>81834807
>>81835701
damn. read the problem of the puer aeternus by von franz

>>81841427
I've been fucked all these years due to OCD. Read this post. >>81841109

>>81836397
How come you started lifting in 2013 if you are only 25 years old? So you are an ex fat guy, ugly, old, autistic and you expect a girl to just give you all her money? You are the most delusional guy Ive ever seen here.

>>81841646
yeah and? OCD's psychological core is relevant to what's discussed in the book. you can consume it in audiobook format btw, at least with text to speech aps

>>81841716
I don't have any signs of aging in my face. I could achieve 8/10 looks through getting lean (I'm already jacked and on steroids.), and a lot of women actually unironically prefer the faces of men in their 30s. I'm 25, so I've got plenty of time. I don't feel old. Most men won't show signs of bodily weakness until they're in their late 30s or early 40s if they've been lifting for years. There could even potentially be a younger girl who is a trust fund kid who would essentially be paying me to be her boyfriend. The reason I'm looking for an older woman is honestly because I have a bit of a fetish for them (Women in their 30s are the best. Also, I made out with a 24-year-old woman when I was 15.), but also because she would likely have a house and not be worried about displeasing her wealthy daddy by choosing a bum like me. (I still get NEETbucks, so I wouldn't be a total financial parasite.) I don't actually want to be a parasite, so I would be doing work around the house and cooking meals for her and helping her with various things. (My dad is a chef, so I know a lot.)

There are women who fall for antisocial losers all the time. I'm not really antisocial. I'm just an OCD guy who hasn't been able to figure out a way to make money with my limitations yet.

I am depressed. I want a femanon's input.

i don't want thread to die

>>81845255
read the book nigguh

Stop spamming dude, fuck off to tindr or whatever dating site of your choice