Thread 82425675

hello anon
r u taking it easy?

>>82425675 (OP)
Fuck no, this is a sad night
and thanks for asking

>>82425675 (OP)
mein cock ees haad

>>82425675 (OP)
I'm doing good tonight, but knowing that there is probably an inferior Indian starving makes me feel even better about my life.

>>82423795
ah i see
ur the model builder anon!
how many models have u got now?
>>82423830
looks like we both got fishy memories!
>and nigh impossible, but yeah
y do u think it would b impossible?
>>82424100
do u think u'll enjoy living off the grid?
>>82425682
what happened anon? Wanna talk about it?
>>82425683
r u horny?

>>82425675 (OP)
No, I woke up with a childhood memory of me being a dumb kid, like 6yo, being so bored that I played with a stamp and an ink-pad and ended up staining a wooden desk with ink. My mother kept yelling at me while stamping my face countless times and hitting me in the face.
I would have made my kid help clean or sand the table as a teaching moment but I guess parenting styles differ. I wonder if my anxiousness has something to do with the way I grew up.

Taking it easy, refreshing my exes' website even though she rarely updates it just for the funsies, watching from a distance, sadly...

also, forgot to mention...
working on my opsec protocols, enhancing them further....
finally able to completely kill google from my life soon(tm) just have a few more services to purge...

>>82425696
>what happened anon?
What happened? I can tell you what happened, yeah. my music player, the music player I have is giving me some playback errors, that's what happened anon, and I've spend quite some time trying to fix such errors

perhaps this is a message of God

This poster >>82425682 sums up what I feel as well quite nicely. Typing too much is hard, so I will leave it at that.

nope
it was a very tragic day

Gonna give it my best shot.

>>82425675 (OP)
collect my 8 pages.

>>82425933
I just use my phone/pc 4 music
mayhap u need 2 get a new one?
How hard would it b 2 get one?
>>82425845
that doesn't sound like a pleasnt memory...
do u get these memories often, anon?
>>82425921
that doesn't sound vert healthy... R u sure it's gud 4 u?
>>82425932
r u also gonna live off grid?
>>82425943
whatt happened 2 u anon?
>>82426044
hello, Mio anon!
What happened?
wanna talk about it?
>>82426094
that's a gud mindset 2 have!
What r u up 2?
>>82426106
nuh
2 spooky!

>>82426124
>that doesn't sound vert healthy... R u sureit's gud 4 u?
No. But I've been doing it for years so it's pretty normal
>https://inv.nadeko.net/watch?v=F7osIbtLknI
>r u also gonna live off grid?
Can't really live off "grid" in a big place... But more like "Off the record"

>>82426124
>What r u up 2?
I'm reading a fanfic to a VN, its gud. I'm dipping into 4chan when my mind starts to write too much and then going back to the fic.

Also wishing real people weren't completely mindfucked to the point of being unable to form connections.

>>82426124
Memory anon here and no, I keep myself distracted or otherwise occupied to not remember things like that. I think that's why I feel the best when I'm at work keeping busy.

>>82426159
>Memory anon
QRD?
I've been playing with memory suppression techniques myself lately. Mk-ultra stuff. Just reading old materials and trying to update them with modern science.

>>82426169
That seems like a bad idea. Like the opposite of what would be helpful.

>>82426192
>ooooh nooo you can't use mk-ultra techniques they're evil and scary and terrifying and meant to destroy the "soul" of the person and replace/reprogram them with another personality
sounds like pussy talk to me soldier, are you a bitch?

>>82426199
No I just think that engaging with memories is the only way to overcome them.
t ~ knower

>>82426205
>t ~ knower
Yeah, I'm a t ~ knower too
And I know I love you desu...

breadcrumb, breadcrumb
I will follow your trail to the Ends of This Earth.

And the next. And the next.

No, I feel like I'm gradually going demented. I usually don't take my meds at all, but I think I will this time around. Why can't i find an honest person to be with? Atp it can be anyone, i dont give a shit anymore
Why are people always making fun of me or tricking me? I'm exhausted and sad

>>82426274
If you want an honest person to be with, you should probably leave a contact method alongside your posts. One that isn't Discord.

>>82426124
>wanna talk about it?
i just procrastinated so much and now im screwed... im not exactly in the sort of situation where im allowed to procrastinate, rather i should be working my ass off doing homework literally every day for hours. i am not doing enough. im scared but i have to do it.
>why did i choose this program
idk man its too late now
i have to see it to completion
tomorrow im gonna work my ass off and hopefully i dont have a breakdown
im scared anon
im really scared
i dont want to fall behind its over for me if i do

>>82426323
I would never reveal my PISScord on here, not on anything. There were a few RARE exceptions but I regret them dearly. The most Ive ever left as a contact method was an email
once, I don't remember the thread's title.
I'm too worn out to try again.
Thanks for the consideration and your reply, anon!

>>82426418
please post e-mail nerd

>>82426141
>No. But I've been doing it for years so it's pretty normal
maybe u should refrain from doing that...
>Can't really live off "grid" in a big place... But more like "Off the record"
on paper it would b nise, but i am 2 addicted 2 the internet 2 actually go through with it
>>82426147
what's it about?
>Also wishing real people weren't completely mindfucked to the point of being unable to form connections.
me 2
>>82426159
do u have any pleasant memories?
>>82426231
who r u following?
>>82426274
what r ppl making fun of?
i hope u can find that person ur looking 4. I am struggling 2 find such ppl irl as well
>>82426368
>i just procrastinated so much and now im screwed... im not exactly in the sort of situation where im allowed to procrastinate, rather i should be working my ass off doing homework literally every day for hours. i am not doing enough. im scared but i have to do it.
do it then!
I believe in u mio anon! U can finish it in time!
>i have to see it to completion
ur like me then
i can't w8 2 b done with this course so i can go back 2 chemistry
>i dont want to fall behind its over for me if i do
I'll b rootin 4 u!

>>82426124
>whatt happened 2 u anon?
May have forever lost someone important, or it might be them acting poorly again. I hope for the later because I just want them to get better and stop doing these things.

>>82426499
>What about?
Surely you can guess. It's a trashy romance. I like this one because its not a will they won't they, it's more about how good they are for each other and how they're both recovering from unfortunate events.

>me 2
I don't know what to tell you anon, I can only add one to the non fucked population by myself and only by way of effort.

>>82425675 (OP)
yeah
too easy desu

>>82425696
>ur the model builder anon
yes I am
>how many models have u got now?
on the ceiling hanging or still in boxes? and I am currently working on my wildcat its pretty much done just need to paint it, put the decals on it and hang it on the ceiling.
Here's a lone spitfire

>>82426641
this is what he's up against.

>>82426641
Have you built anything really big anon?

>>82425675 (OP)
I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed today for some reason, even though I'm taking it easier than usual. I wonder how bad I'd feel if I wasn't taking it easy...

I don't have much energy at the moment to read all of thread and give out (you)s, but I will wish everyone an easy day and say hello at least!

>>82425675 (OP)
Hi friendly anon. I've mostly been on /vt/ lately. Hope you're well though :)

>>82426783
Whoops! I forgot to leave this for you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHCz9k7SnIM

>>82426657
I have tanks that are 1/35 scale. Planes are 1/48. while I have a ship at 1/700. Local store only has limited certain scales. If I wanted to get something "bigger" I'd head to the big warehouse store up north.

>>82426830
reminds me of an old vidja, From the Depths. Kind of like building models really.

>>82425675 (OP)
I was writing down some notes related to these threads when I stumbled upon this and was once again reminded of what I lost:
>>76208710
>hates normalniggers
>cynical
>pessimistic worldview
>stands for his own opinions
>not a goypilled, weak-willed faggot who fell victim to jewish scheme
He was literally me, such a shame he's gone forever

>>82425675 (OP)
no, i feel like i hate everything today
>>82423160
>me to not prepare much
yeah same actually. i usually get very anxious if think about what i have to do and i think it's better when i just wing it.
>I bet the pictures don't do it justice either
actually i think some of the pictures i've taken do. one of them is my favourite picture ever. i like looking at it and reminiscing about being there
>What do you actually do while you're there
go hiking, go for a walk in the forests, sit by a stream or a lake, have a picnic somewhere. im content with just looking most of the time.
>people would come to know me by name and stuff
unless you do that for months, it's not really gonna happen. besides, most shops are corporate anyways, and the employees change often. even if you go to the same store the people are going to be different each time. the only place where you'd get an experience like that is in a small town, or if you specifically look for local shops and only go there.
>which is kinda sad...
indeed
>>82423769
>hopefully he can make a living out of them
i highly doubt it though i admire his determination
>>82425845
that's messed up anon, parents like that are the worst. i wonder how someone even ends up being so fucked in the head to do that to their child. hopefully you're doing better now.
>>82426106
genderman may i collect your pronouns?
>>82426274
honesty is the rarest of virtues to find, especially now when lying has become so easy. do keep in mind that sometimes people have to lie and it's not really their fault
>>82426044
keep on keeping on anon

>>82426552
u 2 huh? Lots of ppl losing important ppl it seems...
I hope they're okay as well
don't neglect urself either because it'll only make u feel worse
>>82426628
how r u taking it ez?
>>82426597
do u like romance stuff?
>>82426641
what r u gonna work on next?
>>82426743
i need 2 keep taking it ez!
>I don't have much energy at the moment to read all of thread and give out (you)s, but I will wish everyone an easy day and say hello at least!
did u sleep badly, karen anon?
>>82426783
do u post there or just lurk?
>>82427599
i'm sorry koishi... the global homo has corrupted me...
>He was literally me, such a shame he's gone forever
If i stayed that way i probably would b ded by now
>>82427765
>no, i feel like i hate everything today
what happened?
>i highly doubt it though i admire his determination
u need determination as well!

>just as quickly as they came back they disappeared again
It's over

>>82427910
I am mostly kidding. One doesn't have to change so radically to live a better life though. I was in a bad spot too not long ago, yet despite my life having drastically improved over the past few years my core beliefs have stayed mostly the same.
But I've realized something, normalniggers isn't what I hate the most, it's fake people. The former just happen to fall under the same category for having the tendency of being liars in order to get what they want from others. Society is built on top of lies and hypocrisy so it's common to meet these kinds of people.
So yeah, I hope you're at least trying to stay honest to yourself and to those you care about.

>>82428628
> The former just happen to fall under the same category for having the tendency of being liars in order to get what they want from others. Society is built on top of lies and hypocris
yeah, i don't like liars either
>So yeah, I hope you're at least trying to stay honest to yourself and to those you care about.
I am trying 2 stay true 2 myself
what about u koishi? R u staying true 2 urself?

>>82425675 (OP)
always dawg
feelin kinda mad max tho
https://youtu.be/9j9uzkO17BM
this beat got me up shoutout tmb

>>82429124
>always dawg
how r u taking it ez?
>feelin kinda mad max tho
how so?

>>82425675 (OP)
>r u taking it easy?
i wish. i managed to stop the bleeding but the wound is still open.
this'll be a hard week to tolerate... i don't have the drive to do anything, not even call my relatives or my mom, or even clean up the apartment like i said i would

sigh.
i suppose i'm not breaking the one shot rule so soon, huh...

>>82425696
>y do u think it would b impossible?
anon, i'm 28 already. by now only 3 people out of the myriad i met managed to accomplish that, two if you don't count family.
and back then i was a lot more open to others and naive, so i lucked out with these, but now that i'm slightly less dense and much more guarded/suspicious/cautious of others, the chances lower drastically...

so no, i'm not betting on that, at all.
i'm not even sure if i should look for it anymore anyway. seems like every bond i try to forge, crumbles with my touch.

Codependent Relationship Round 2: Electric Boogaloo.

After __ years in development, hopefully it will have been worth the wait. <3

since i haven't drawn in ages, i spent the whole day drawing this eiki drawing, got the idea a few days ago when eiki anon said something about him "snufkinmaxxing" and i thought it'd be fun https://files.catbox.moe/o64pj5.png

sucks that it takes me so long to draw this though, i'm very rusty... although i know if i draw more i'll get faster. hopefully i can get more in the mood to do creative stuff in the future

>>82425675 (OP)
what have you done today? i've mainly been drawing at home and surfing the net, since i already did a bunch of stuff yesterday.

>>82430220
Thank you very much for this. I like it a lot.

>>82427910
I have a Wildcat just about done. Just need to paint it an all. kits is missing pilot so gotta try an find one or get one for the model.

>>82429825
maybe u should talk 2 ur mom. She could b a source of unlikely support!
>>82429864
>i'm not even sure if i should look for it anymore anyway. seems like every bond i try to forge, crumbles with my touch.
r u sure every bond u touch crumbles?
>>82429896
who might it b with?
>>82430220
i've gone shopping with my parents. Other than that i mostly slept in my bed :/
have u caught anything interesting in the net?
>>82430903
that's nise
do u ever plan on getting some models of obscure ww2 vehicles?

>>82431136
>do u ever plan on getting some models of obscure ww2 vehicles?
I mean...

>>82431136
>She could b a source of unlikely support!
nah, she never was a source of emotional support, not actively at least
she usually brings me more distress than comfort, lol
plus i'm not even sure anyone can comfort me save for distracting me from it, let time take its course and heal this

>r u sure every bond u touch crumbles?
almost all of them, yeah
some by my hand, some by theirs, some others life itself doesn't want it to happen, but most crumble
curse of the shooting star and all, yada yada

>>82431219
i mean even moar obscure...
>>82431552
>plus i'm not even sure anyone can comfort me save for distracting me from it, let time take its course and heal this
i see. I hope u get through this soon!
>some by my hand, some by theirs, some others life itself doesn't want it to happen, but most crumble
y do u think that happens?

>>82425675 (OP)
Aw man. I don't know what to say. I think that I overdid my vices(smoking and drinking). I made webpages and did math for fun, but now I cannot even do it anymore. My mind just feels numb. It feels like the end of homunculus where he drilled too many holes and could not tell who was who anymore. I feel at peace but life keeps coming at me. Things are happening fast, yet I am a finger munching retard now. Damn it. I shouldn't be taking it easy but I am. I can't even tell what the fuck is going on anymore.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDW-W2J84Hc

>>82432695
y do u drink anon?

>>82432842
Why? It distracts me from constantly thinking about ontological philosophy. I'm so fucking scared that this is it. I want to believe in god, but what if iti is a cope. My parents are getting old and are on the verge of death, I love them and don't want to see them go. More than that, I love my siblings and a few coworkers. AHHHH. Aren't you scared? Maybe this is stupid because drinking brings me closer to death, yet it distracts me. Recently seen a few people close to me die from cancer and now I'm scared. I don't know, sorry OP. Getting in my cups now and talking crazy.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5uLvHk0DeI&list=RDP5uLvHk0DeI

>>82425675 (OP)
Third day of anxiety. Me and my internet friend confessed our love to each other. And we're about to meet for the first time and I'm really scared that she won't like me. I know what she looks like and she doesn't. She has BPD so it's really hard to communicate with her without accidentally messing it up. She's on my mind all the time.

>>82425675 (OP)
I don't get to do that anymore.

Feeling better now, I dunno what was up with me before!

>>82433206
Why not, nonny?

>>82432942
>BPD
Scary... But it can work! My ex had BPD and things were good for a while. We broke up for other reasons, but point is the BPD was manageable because we both tried really hard!

>>82427765
>i feel like i hate everything today
I hope you cheer up soon, Hu Taonon
>i usually get very anxious if think about what i have to do
You sound like a pretty anxious person in general... I hope you cope with it okay
>actually i think some of the pictures i've taken do
I wish I could see them... But probably best not to post them.
>go hiking, go for a walk in the forests, sit by a stream or a lake, have a picnic somewhere
Ouch my legs, but a picnic with that view sounds heavenly... I don't think I've ever... gone on a picnic? Huh...
>it's not really gonna happen
My dreams are crushed... I just want a comfy life with comfy neighbors who work comfy jobs and live comfy lives themselves...

>>82427910
>did u sleep badly
I dunno what it was. Maybe too much sugar or caffeine or something? I've been sleeping like normal, which isn't to say particularly good. But I was just feeling so bad. Now I feel good and I'm taking it EASY!

>>82432467
>I hope u get through this soon!
i don't think i'll ever get through this, but i'll grow and it'll become a lesser part of me over time
getting a punch in the gut (figuratively) from someone you love hurts unimaginably more than if it was from anyone else

>y do u think that happens?
cursed, basically
no good reason for it

>>82433647
i see you stopped posting reimu, huh?
wasn't me this time, was it?

>>82432467
>i mean even moar obscure...
Can't I just vent to you about weird coworker again?
This past friday he didn't say a word to me at all while on route with him. NOT A FREAKING WORD.

why yes i am taking it easy!
here is a picture of tacos i made today. i made and ate 10 of them
please do not make comments about my bodyfat % thank you

and im just drinking tea and playing dota and taking it /easy/ because my life is shit and lonely and hopeless

im posting my food here because i dont know where else to post it. its not like i have social media to post it there is anything like that, and i dont see a general where this would be more relevant

>>82434249
Oh, you mean all the yukkuris I posted? I never paid much attention to who they were, but most were probably reimu since she's the OG yukkuri.

I stopped posting them because it's very tempting to post all my new Karens. But also finding yukkuris I liked was getting harder... I felt a little forced posting yukkuris too because I mainly did it to fit in. I still feel like my Karen screenshots stick out like a sore thumb compared to all the 2hu fanart...

>>82434304
I'm jealous of your tacos, I'm so hungry... I'm glad you're taking it easy!

>>82432926
>Aren't you scared?
maybe a little bit. But then i realize that there's no way of knowing it all, so whatever belief i could have is just as valid as the lack of it!
>>82432942
gud luck 4 u and ur internet fren! I hope u can b happi 2gether!
>>82433647
>I dunno what it was. Maybe too much sugar or caffeine or something? I've been sleeping like normal, which isn't to say particularly good. But I was just feeling so bad. Now I feel good and I'm taking it EASY!
that's nise
i hope u can keep taking it ez!
What r ur plans 4 2day, karen anon?
>>82434249
yeah that's true... But i still think u oughtn't give up on ppl! Life is full of surprisess, maybe u'll meet the ppl u need one day!
>cursed, basically
who or what do u think cursed u?
>>82434286
is there something u would've liked 2 talk 2 him about?>>82434304
ur tacos look very yummy!
what tea r u drinking?

>>82435431
>whatever belief i could have is just as valid as the lack of it!

Decent point. I like that. I plan to stop drinking so much on weekends, but smoking is another story. People have crazy nightmares after it, I just have intense wet dreams. IDK.

>>82435431
is there something u would've liked 2 talk 2 him about?
No not at all. Coworker would just criticize/mock/ridicule you if you said or did something positive. Its the same guy that I told you about before. Scammed by a random text from some asian girl.
And quite frankly that was the most peaceful ride I had with him on a friday I wish it was like that everytime I went on route with him since the beginning.

>>82435632
what do u usually smoke?
>>82435749
>No not at all. Coworker would just criticize/mock/ridicule you if you said or did something positive. Its the same guy that I told you about before. Scammed by a random text from some asian girl.
i see
is there anynyan from ur work that u like?
>And quite frankly that was the most peaceful ride I had with him on a friday I wish it was like that everytime I went on route with him since the beginning.
i wonder y it was so different...

im going to kms im going to kms im going go kms
im so far behind im fucked im screwed its over
tomorrow i need to work my ass off to catch up
fuckfuckfuckfuck

>>82425675 (OP)
I broke up with my partner because i didn't love them anymore but since i have been together for long time i forgot how to be alone/single again.

I feel lonely and scared.

This thread has been lost to normalniggers I swear to god get the fuck out of here and complain somewhere else

>>82436257
>tomorrow i need to work my ass off to catch up
y not 2day?
It's okay! U can do it!
>>82436448
>I broke up with my partner because i didn't love them anymore but since i have been together for long time i forgot how to be alone/single again.
y?
>>82436660
*sigh*

>>82435431
>what tea r u drinking?
twinnings earl grey, 3 bags
tetley green tea, 3 bags
100g of frozen ginger, chopped up
1.75L of boiling water
brewed for liek 30 mins atleast

>>82436929
that's a lot of tea!
do u have an appropriate container 2? Like a thermos or smth?
>brewed for liek 30 mins atleast
y does it take so long?

>>82429112
>I am trying 2 stay true 2 myself
So what happened to the enlightened philosopher who hated normalfags and society?
>R u staying true 2 urself?
Well I'm obviously taking my own advice
>koishi
I haven't posted her in months, stop calling me that
>>82436660
My thoughts exactly

>>82435431
>What r ur plans 4 2day
Today it's time for my doctor visit. I'm really hoping to get a lot out of it, ideally some pain meds so I can go throughout the days easier, but my hopes aren't super high. They REALLY don't like giving out pain meds here because of all the abuse and addiction. Whether I get them or not I think they'll change my normal meds around and hopefully that can help too. I'm pretty nervous honestly, I want the pain meds so bad for those days where I can't even get out of bed...

How was your weekend, all in all?

>>82435632
>I plan to stop drinking so much on weekends
This is a good goal, I hope you do well to see it through! I'm going to try and slow down my drinking as well.

>>82436257
Do your best to catch up!!!

trying my best to enjoy my last 2 days of freedom before school starts again. though i guess i'm not too sad about leaving my current routine behind

>>82427910
>what happened?
brain issues bleh
>u need determination as well!
i think i have at least some determination, otherwise i wouldn't be alive at the moment
>>82428610
surely they'll be back... surely...
>>82432926
life is full of scary moments and experiences. it's not something that ever goes away even when we grow up, we just learn to endure them, so that we're a bit more prepared for the next. i hope you get to be with your parents for as long as you can anon, i'm also scared that i might see my mom go before i can realize. be careful with booze and take care.
>>82433647
>You sound like a pretty anxious person in general...
anxiety is my second name... and no i don't really cope with it well. as you might've guessed by my weird behaviours.
>I wish I could see them...
i've posted them already on the board, perhaps i'll post them another time eventually. im not in the photos anyways. my tao is though!
>I don't think I've ever... gone on a picnic?
really? i guess it makes sense since in burgerland you don't have many parks. or nature in general. you should try though. make some sandwiches, brings some juice, snacks and an old rug, then find a nice green place to sit in. it's better in company
>I just want a comfy life
sorry anon, you're about 200 years too late for something like that. better luck next time! now go back in your office, those excel spreadsheets won't fill themselves.
>>82434304
do you think tacos should be crispy or not?
>dota
may god help you
>>82436257
this too shall pass, don't get a panic attack anon.
>>82436660
sadly the entire board has been lost to them, it is what it is.

>>82436242
> what do u usually smoke?
Weed of course. There is this really nice arab guy who sells me discounted weed at a smoke shop. It feels good. I basically know his entire family at this point. He is so chill.

>>82436660
>normalniggers
Define this in precise terminology. Fucking sick of e-peen competitions.

>>82437406
i think baka is still in a way the same englithened philosopher u like. He just mellowed out a little
Well I'm obviously taking my own advice
that's gud
>I haven't posted her in months, stop calling me that
why do u hate being associated with her so much?
>>82437429
>Today it's time for my doctor visit. I'm really hoping to get a lot out of it, ideally some pain meds so I can go throughout the days easier, but my hopes aren't super high. They REALLY don't like giving out pain meds here because of all the abuse and addiction. Whether I get them or not I think they'll change my normal meds around and hopefully that can help too. I'm pretty nervous honestly, I want the pain meds so bad for those days where I can't even get out of bed...
do pain meds help u, anon? I hear that 4 some ppl not even meds help
r u gonna take it ez 2day, karen anon?
i registered 4 a shrink visit 2day and got some meds 2
>How was your weekend, all in all?
it was meh over all
>>82437482
>trying my best to enjoy my last 2 days of freedom before school starts again. though i guess i'm not too sad about leaving my current routine behind
i think getting busy with smth is wut u need, hutao
>brain issues bleh
we all have them, esp me. I hate being slow...
>i think i have at least some determination, otherwise i wouldn't be alive at the moment
that's gud
we all need a bit of determination and disciprine
>>82437514
i wish i could smoke weed...

>>82437558
If you need to know, chances are you're a normalfag who feels called out. This isn't a "competition", you only think it is because that's the normoid mentality of wanting to fit in anywhere you go, even on fucking 4chan of all places
>>82438078
You were never an enlightened philosopher, only an idiot with mental issues and an inflated ego. I liked that about you though, you were a lot more honest and weren't trying to play it safe all the time
>why do u hate being associated with her so much?
I don't like being associated to anything in general

>>82438732
>You were never an enlightened philosopher, only an idiot with mental issues and an inflated ego.
i'm still an idiot with mental issues. I'm not sure about the ego part, i'd like 2 think it's not as inflated anymore
>you were a lot more honest and weren't trying to play it safe all the time
wdym by "playing it safe"?
>I don't like being associated to anything in general
i see
should i just call u "anon" then?

taking it easy during lunch
things are getting bearable again, but work idleness is another roadblock in that process
at least i went back to cooking, even if just for two days
made some turbo noodles today and yesterday (instant noodles with rib broth instead of the flavor packet, stir fried sausages with garlic and onion, and two boiled eggs), tasted pretty good and managed to get my mind off of things
i sure hope my pots arrive soon so i can go back to cooking for reals

>>82434328
>I stopped posting them because it's very tempting to post all my new Karens.
ah, fair enough

>I mainly did it to fit in.
i don't think "fitting in" has anything to do with what you post around these parts
i mean i may post yukari now and again since i've been likened to her but i mostly either don't post any picture at all or i post my shitty AI astronauts and i've been here a while now
post whatever you feel like
>I still feel like my Karen screenshots stick out like a sore thumb compared to all the 2hu fanart...
see above, do i stick out like a sore thumb?

>>82435431
>u oughtn't give up on ppl!
i'm not giving up on them, just giving up on anyone reaching that kind of connection with me
even if i did find them, i'd prob screw shit up again like i did there

>who or what do u think cursed u?
myself, before i came here
that or someone else who didn't get the chance to be born, i'm not too sure
your guess is as good as mine

>>82436448
>i didn't love them anymore
>been together for long time
Gross roastie behaviour. Anyone who says this has no concept of the honeymoon period. Love isn't just a feeling, it's choices and actions. Most relationships end under seven years because people don't randomly get the feel good chemicals anymore. They choose to love, and choose to look past flaws without being high on brain chemicals to do so. Then they get a small cozy warm feeling. They don't get the powerful brain chemicals anymore, those never stay forever.

>>82438732
>>82438970
p.s. sensing a lot of tension between you two, i know it's none of my damn business but well...
normally i'd say something like "chill out and take it easy" or whatever the fuck but by now, i'm just grabbing my popcorn, lol

i'm gonna have to consult with lurker-chan one of these days to hop in on all of that lore i've been missing out in these threads...
either way, hope you two have a nice day
take care of yourselves out there, aye?

>>82439364
I'm a gross ass man though and my partner cheated on me 2
1and half year ago. Feels like we kept being together out of co dependency and "got used to it" more than anything. We stopped lewding completely aswell.

I'm chasing no highs, anon.

>>82439607
I'm sorry to hear that then, being cheated on is the worst. If you are sure they cheated on you, that's nearly impossible to come back from.

check em nerds

>>82440001
this is why I cant take it easy

>>82440001
Good try.

>>82436242
Of course of course. Just the other coworkers in general I can tolerate aside him in general. Rn just waiting on an order to come through and I am off work rn.
>I wonder y it was so different...
No clue honestly. But honestly that was the best Friday I had in a long time.

i feel nothing today
well maybe a bit of anxiety but thats about it
kind of relaxing

>>82439305
>even if i did find them, i'd prob screw shit up again like i did there
i screw things often too. That doesn't stop me from dreaming. And as long as i dream, i will probably still have hope
>your guess is as good as mine
mayhap it was the demiurge
he cursed me as well
>>82440833
is there anynyan that u moar than tollerate?
anynyan that u would consider a friend maybe?
>No clue honestly. But honestly that was the best Friday I had in a long time.
well, i am glad it was a nise friday 4 u, anon!
>>82440852
did u manage 2 do all the things u needed 2 do?

>>82433647
>point is the BPD was manageable because we both tried really hard!
Can you give me some advice? Cause I feel like I'm walking through a minefield when I talk to her. I'm obsessed with her, and I hope she's obsessed with me too. At least since we confessed to each other, I haven't heard her say she wants to die anymore.

>>82441182
>did u manage 2 do all the things u needed 2 do?
no im a serial procrastinator. but i am planning on getting started now.

i wish i had a button to turn off every feeling in my body

>>82438078
>i think getting busy with smth is wut u need
yeah, i think you're right. i hope i don't get too busy...
>I hate being slow...
i think you just need to try and pay more attention to things and not jump to conclusions
>>82439305
apologies for the weird question but, did you get rejected or something? is that why you're feeling bad?
>>82440001
a valiant effort anon.
>>82441324
>i am planning on getting started now.
i'll hold you to that anon, so you better actually do it!

>>82441592
>i'll hold you to that anon, so you better actually do it!
i did!
how are you doing hutao anon tho...

I did not need to fear the worst just the pretty bad.

>>82441182
>That doesn't stop me from dreaming.
i know, me neither
pay no mind to my self pitying, i'm doing a little bit better now and while it may feel like i shouldn't involve myself with others anytime soon, that doesn't mean i'll follow through with it
i know better than to isolate myself in trying times. learned that first hand.

>the demiurge
well shit, nigga
if that's the case then i'm screwed for life, lol

>>82441592
>did you get rejected or something?
i tried talking to someone very dear to me for the first time in years and she basically told me to fuck off
being rejected wouldn't hurt nearly as much, anon
in a sense i did get rejected but not in the romantic sense of it, lol

>Captcha: WANDW
>wand wizard, captcha telling me i'll earn magic powers in a bit over 2 years

>>82441592
>i wish i had a button to turn off every feeling in my body
through meditation and emotional suppression this is possible. Would u like 2 walk the way of Surak with me?
>yeah, i think you're right. i hope i don't get too busy...
ofc
u still need 2 take it easy after all!
>i think you just need to try and pay more attention to things
ADHD rot is real...
>and not jump to conclusions
kinda hard 2 not 2 with the brain i got...
>>82441324
me 2... It's nice that ur getting started though! Remember, only the beginning is the hardest!
>>82442032
that's a relief!
i am glad everything worked out in the end!
>>82442128
>i know better than to isolate myself in trying times. learned that first hand.
me 2. I did that once as well
>if that's the case then i'm screwed for life, lol
demiurge is not a God
he's just playing God!
we can beat him!

I probably decided to come back to threads at the worst time but fuck it, we ball. Randal time.

>>82442602
hey there, randal
how have u been?

>>82442318
>I did that once as well
my condolences, anon
>we can beat him!
not as humans, we can't
maybe as spirits... or as oneironauts, but i've only met one such person in these threads who isn't me
and finding the right dreamscape is... elusive, and difficult
sleeping is like taking a break from life, we don't want to work anymore, just rest and entertain ourselves

>>82442602
>at the worst time
why, what's going on even?

>>82440001
pic fucking related
big oof anon, you missed two quads as well

>>82442784
Not the best, got into argument with my dad over me being a fat lazy slob and now I'm losing weight with speed walks daily. Overall life hasn't been to kind to me especially after getting medicated even more but I'll try to get it together as I can.
Also rewatched Ice Age movies recently, good stuff.
>>82442849
It's mostly just me feeling down again.

>>82443044
well, misery loves company, so you're in the right place
i mean i'm here and i'm not doing all that great myself, in fact it's the worst i've felt in many years, lol
and yet i can't help but be here, because anons always keep me good company

there's no better time to be here, actually

the night sky
so far,
yet, it feels nigh
the time,
when i'll turn into a star
and as i fall,
look up to the night sky.

>>82442012
nice job anon. don't worry about me, you've got enough things on your plate.
>>82442032
good to know it wasn't the worst, is it something fixable?
>>82442128
>in a sense i did get rejected but not in the romantic sense of it
huh, i see. i mean, it always hurts a lot when these like that happen anon, but it'll pass. keep your chin up
>>82442318
>through meditation and emotional suppression this is possible
am i talking to the buddha or something...?
>u still need 2 take it easy after all!
i think i've been taking it relatively easy for wayyyy too long
>kinda hard 2 not 2 with the brain i got
never said it was easy. but do try. i know i often say not to overthink things, but in your case you should think twice before you say something or reach a conclusion
>>82442602
no way, randal ballin?! hope your meds aren't giving you too much trouble anon.

>>82427599
what other notes and lore do you have on people?

>>82443689
>it always hurts a lot
massive understatement if i ever heard one, lol
yeah it'll pass, but it's still a massive bitch to withstand that... for better or worse, i've become strong enough to take on the world if necessary.

something greater than myself drives me now, and i can't help but move forward, power through anything and everything
and i'm not sure if such determination is a blessing or a curse by now, because i really, really want to take a moment to rest... but, pic related, lol
no rest for the wicked

>>82443689
>the night sky
>so far,
>yet, it feels nigh
>the time,
>when i'll turn into a star
>and as i fall,
>look up to the night sky.
poetry

>>82437482
>as you might've guessed by my weird behaviours
Yeah, but I've seen and dealt with worse! You'll get stronger as time goes by. Which sounds so cheesy, but it's true, like of course you'll eventually learn how to deal with yourself and your symptoms more as time goes on. I believe in you!!
>I've posted them already
I'd love to see them sometime too!! I love travel blogging and pictures and stuff. It's so nice to see people experiencing cool stuff.
>you don't have many parks
We kinda do around here! I live not quite in the middle of nowhere, but pretty rural, but not rural enough to not have a lot of our nature turned into parks... Honestly I live in a pretty area as is, but for some reason I always think about OTHER places, I guess I'm just too used to it here. Also I think I've never picnicked because I have no one to go do it with irl!! It sounds comfy, so long as the weather is nice.
>you're about 200 years too late
You're right... It's so sad...

>>82438078
>do pain meds help u
They kinda do. I have some Oxycontin from a relative that well, died of cancer. She was on them and everyone just kinda agreed to give the leftover pills to me. They mostly just knock me out, but they do definitely help too. I think maybe I sleep when I take them because I'm finally not in too much pain.
>r u gonna take it ez 2day
Today was not a take it easy kind of day. My outing was really tiring and didn't yield any results anyway, so it all felt for naught. I'm letting myself mope today and tomorrow I'll try and cheer myself up and take it easy.
>i registered 4 a shrink visit 2day and got some meds 2
Do you have anyone close irl that can keep an eye on your behavior/mood? It's really helpful to have a 3rd party's opinion on how the meds may be affecting you.

>>82439305
>do i stick out like a sore thumb?
No, I'm just often overly conscious and considerate to the point where it doesn't even make sense. Very much not "take it easy" sometimes!

>>82441228
>I feel like I'm walking through a minefield when I talk to her.
Thing is, with BPD, a lot of the time it isn't actually what you say, it's just that BPD kicks in--I don't want to say at random but it's so chaotic that it's hard to predict--and the mine goes off. For now, you can try dodging mines, but it will probably feel pretty disheartening after a while when you realize the same safe things you've said aren't safe anymore for whatever reason.
>I'm obsessed with her, and I hope she's obsessed with me too
I mean... this is already not good, but I don't think we have the time to talk deeply enough about relationships for me to explain why. But you probably don't want her to be "obsessed" with you anyway. Have you heard of "favorite person"s for BPD people? They fixate really hard on people for a while, but then it just kinda drops off a cliff once... something happens? I'm not too sure, my ex said it just seems to happen at random, she would lose interest in her FP out of the blue and now that person would be left in the cold suddenly in comparison to how she was acting with them before.

As for advice, being highly aware of what is BPD-talk and what is actual them-talk is probably the most helpful thing I can think of without suggesting things like therapy for her. And by that, I mean whenever she starts acting funny all of a sudden, realize it's probably her BPD being triggered. If she's not very emotionally aware of herself, she might fight you if you point it out, saying that no, it's not the BPD talking, that's just how she truly feels. That's kinda the biggest struggle with BPD... A lot of recovery/coping relies on the BPD person, which BPD itself makes it hard for them to seek and accept help. It's really tough, anon! The biggest things for you are going to be patience, and being as much of an emotionally stable rock as you can to balance things out.

Sidposting hours.
>>82443121
Yes, but I've been here for a while now and I have this feeling that these threads are slowly stagnating/degrading. It's just not the same as it was a year ago.
>>82443689
I'm managing, Taoman, at least trying to.

>>82441228
Not them, but someone who just fear abandonment or is clingy is fine. They just require reassurance, and won't act weird unless you try to pull away from them or cut them off. Someone with full on BPD however should be avoided at all costs unless they've been through DBT and can manage their symptoms well.

>>82443977
I really hate to agree with you at all on this, but it's kind of true... Fully unmanaged BPD is some of the hardest, most intense stuff to deal with. My ex had only gone through a bit of therapy when we started but was going through with it more as we dated, so we were able to address issues as they came up both between us in a healthier way than usual and on her own with her therapist.

>>82443969
>It's just not the same as it was a year ago
Tell me the stories...

>>82444042
I don't have tea on my hands, I just feel vibes and I feel it when it's different.

>>82441182
>is there anynyan that u moar than tollerate?
My buddy nick

>>82443845
>overly conscious and considerate
well anon, if i don't stick out then you don't either
just bee yourself and take it easy, if you're nice you already fit in here
do try your best to rest up tomorrow, you need it

>>82443969
>these threads are slowly stagnating/degrading.
yeah, such is the fate of anything good
but the lore, the company, the memories, they made it all worth it
and it's not like these threads will end anytime soon, more people will come, some will quit and some will come
it'll be fine anon, cherish what you already bagged and don't mind what you've lost

Rember
Don't be sad about what you've lost
But anxiously dread about what you might lose

Animal GOD is gone again...

>>82443044
>Not the best, got into argument with my dad over me being a fat lazy slob and now I'm losing weight with speed walks daily.
i need 2 lose weight 2...
>Overall life hasn't been to kind to me especially after getting medicated even more but I'll try to get it together as I can.
do u wanna talk about it, randal, anon?
>Also rewatched Ice Age movies recently, good stuff.
nice
which one is ur favourite?
>>82442849
>not as humans, we can't
>maybe as spirits... or as oneironauts, but i've only met one such person in these threads who isn't me
>and finding the right dreamscape is... elusive, and difficult
>sleeping is like taking a break from life, we don't want to work anymore, just rest and entertain ourselves
human mind has infinite potential!
>>82443689
>am i talking to the buddha or something...?
i am talking about space elves!
>i think i've been taking it relatively easy for wayyyy too long
yea, but when u start taking it hard, it's important 2 take it easy as well. There has 2 b balance, u kno?
>never said it was easy. but do try. i know i often say not to overthink things, but in your case you should think twice before you say something or reach a conclusion
oh u kno me, head empty, no thoughts. Sometimes it's useful, when u need 2 detach. But most times, it's not. It's funny how one can b an overthinker, yet on the same time not able 2 form a single coherent thought
beautiful poetry by the way
>>82443845
>They kinda do. I have some Oxycontin from a relative that well, died of cancer. She was on them and everyone just kinda agreed to give the leftover pills to me. They mostly just knock me out, but they do definitely help too. I think maybe I sleep when I take them because I'm finally not in too much pain.
i am so sorry that happened 2 u. Were u close with that relative?
(cont)

>>82443845
>Today was not a take it easy kind of day. My outing was really tiring and didn't yield any results anyway, so it all felt for naught. I'm letting myself mope today and tomorrow I'll try and cheer myself up and take it easy.
did i not get the meds u wanted?
>Do you have anyone close irl that can keep an eye on your behavior/mood? It's really helpful to have a 3rd party's opinion on how the meds may be affecting you.
not really. My parents mostly let me keep 2 myself. I used 2 have frens when i was in uni, but when i dropped out i've been seeing them less and less...
one fren in particular used 2 tard wrangle me from saying unhinged shit
>>82443969
>Yes, but I've been here for a while now and I have this feeling that these threads are slowly stagnating/degrading. It's just not the same as it was a year ago.
*sigh*
i have 2 agree. I miss the old days...
>>82444538
what is he like?
>>82445455
what if i do both?

>>82445535
He's a busy man. The pursuit of knowledge is insatiable in that boy.

>>82425675 (OP)
No I'm already behind in my community college class

>>82443821
>massive understatement if i ever heard one, lol
sorry, i didn't mean to belittle your problems anon. i've experienced rejection too in the past (although romantically) so i know how bad it hurts, i was just trying to relate. but if im managing to get through that then im sure you can do too, just keep moving.
>>82443830
indeed, have you ever written some?
>>82443845
>You'll get stronger as time goes by
i'd really like to believe this phrase and the "things get better" one but i really don't. i don't get stronger, i just learn to endure. things don't get better, we just learn to live with the bad. you could argue doing both of these makes one "stronger" but really if it made you actually stronger you'd be able to overcome the problems completely and life a better life, which most people don't do.
>I'd love to see them sometime too!!
okay, then here you go. picrel is my favourite picture ever taken in the history of my life (the tao in it is real)
>I always think about OTHER places
me too, i think it's because im just bored of seeing the same ones over and over. i rarely ever travel so my hometown is pretty much all i've known for my entire life.
>I have no one to go do it with
yeah same, i get it. i kinda don't really want to do anything irl anymore if im alone.
>>82443969
>at least trying to
that's the important part anon
>>82445455
eventually everyone will lose everything so why even care in the first place?
>>82445535
we don't deserve him...
>>82446249
>i am talking about space elves!
is this some new religion i didn't know about?
>There has 2 b balance, u kno?
im really bad at balancing things...
>not able 2 form a single coherent thought
do the meds not help with this at all? thanks for the compliment also.

>>82443924
>BPD kicks in--I don't want to say at random but it's so chaotic that it's hard to predict--and the mine goes off
I had that with her. For no apparent reason, for two months she thought I hated her. I didn't hate her of course and I didn't say anything bad, but BPD pushed her to it apparently.
>Have you heard of "favorite person"s for BPD people?
Yeah, I found out about it from her - she's been calling me her favorite person since February. It's just that before she just said that we are best friends, I'm her best and only friend, but now we confessed our love and she wants a relationship
>They fixate really hard on people for a while, but then it just kinda drops off a cliff once... something happens?
Didn't know about that, scary, hope it doesn't happen. For me, the only thing worse than abandonment is cheating, I am paranoid about cheating and very jealous.
>As for advice, being highly aware of what is BPD-talk and what is actual them-talk is probably the most helpful thing
>The biggest things for you are going to be patience, and being as much of an emotionally stable rock as you can to balance things out
There's a funny part like I think she thinks I'm unstable but really I'm just constantly adapting to her moods. But it's still really hard to tell where she's talking and where her BPD is talking. I think I'm mentally stable, at least more stable than she is.
Thank you anon!!!

unable to sleep, can't take it easy
i've slept maybe 5 hours today only, i'm so screwed tomorrow... i'm gonna get home and straight up head to bed, i swear to fucking god

>>82446986
>belittle
that didn't cross my mind, anon
i'm just saying shit's worse than it seems, but by now there's something bigger than me at play, so the only choice i have is to keep going
bleh. i wish i could take it easy and rest.

>Captcha: X4NGH
>"ngh" 4 times

>>82446982
what kind of class is it?
>>82446986
>is this some new religion i didn't know about?
nuh i'm talking about the vulcans from star trek
>im really bad at balancing things...
it's okay. U can always learn 2 do it better!
>do the meds not help with this at all? thanks for the compliment also.
I think they help with other things, but not that, no. At this point i'm afraid of getting more meds because it may end in disaster again

Big news time: Captainhowdie just updated the website and the new chapter that was teased 2 years ago is coming this very month! I'm so freaking excited rn I'm gonna piss blood.
>>82446249
>do u wanna talk about it, randal, anon?
Nah, not really. Don't wanna weight you down with my insignificant problems.
>which one is ur favourite?
Honestly I like all of them (except for 5th one obvs.) but my first ever exposure to series as a whole was the dinosaur one so it's my favourite (even if people think it sucks), I love them dinos.
>>82446278
Well, it is what it is. Don't blame yourself, it's not like you can control who goes in here and who doesn't. You're doing well despite all the haters.

>>82446249
>Were u close with that relative?
No, I wasn't. But the relatives I'm close to were, if that makes sense. So everyone around me was grieving pretty bad.
>>82446278
>did i not get the meds u wanted?
I got zip nada zilch. They might be changing some other medication but I have no hope it'll work, as most of them never do. All I wanted was any pain meds to help me not be in agony after short trips like yesterday.
>not really
Have you taken meds before? They can really change you depending on how your brain responds. Try to keep an eye on yourself as best you can.

>>82446986
>I'd really like to believe this phrase
It's okay, it's hardest kind to believe really. It just sucks because looking back on myself I can see how true it is, and I wish I could just let others have a sliver of that insight/feeling so they could know it really does get better. But nevermind that, I dont want to sound condescending or anything!!
>picrel
It's like a dream!!! It looks so picturesque that it looks like it was designed. It's so crazy how nature can just look like that when it feels like it... Thank you for sharing!!
>I rarely ever travel
I used to with my family a lot as a kid, at least around the different states here. It's a shame, I was too much of a dumb twerp to appreciate it all...

>>82446988
I do hope it all works out, anon. Has she been through therapy and stuff like that? The more on top of her own BPD, the exponentially easier time you'll have.

>>82444582
>just bee yourself
Trying my best, captain!!

>>82447386
>I'm gonna piss blood
Is that good?!

Today I had my one class this semester. The lecturer looks like the lovechild of George Lucas and Colonel Sanders with a voice like John C. Reilly. From some angles I was convinced he was George Lucas. Interesting guy.
Then I got some fish and chips. They were nice and I needed a pick-me-up.

>>82426641
Have you ever considered making a gunpla kit or something like in >>>/toy/11549064 ?

>>82430220
Thank you again for this!

>>82434304
That looks good but how did you manage to eat that many?

>>82441324
Read the course syllabus! Everything you need will be in there.

>>82442318
>i am glad everything worked out in the end!
Me too.

>>82443044
Remember: weight is lost in the kitchen, not the gym. That said, high intensity cardio burns visceral fat (which is especially bad for you) so keep doing it.

>>82443689
>is it something fixable?
Nothing a hospital stay can't fix.

>>82447403
>Has she been through therapy and stuff like that?
Yeah, but she stopped it. There's been no psychotherapy for a long time. She's mostly just on medication now, she still has a problem with opioids so she's on opioid substitution, but it's not really working because she's mixing the opioid substitution with another long line of substances, just gradually reducing the dose of the other substances over time. But I hope she gets better and I'm trying to give her as much help and support as I can

i'm so anxious i feel like my chest could burst at any given moment

>>82447019
>i'm just saying shit's worse than it seems
i see. i hope you can manage to deal with it then anon. there's a time to take it easy and a time to do your best too
>>82447195
>the vulcans from star trek
ahhh right those... i've never seen anything from star trek other than 500 cigarettes skit. and im not even sure that's from star trek either...
>U can always learn 2 do it better!
so far, i haven't learned much i fear
>with other things
such as?
>>82447403
>how true it is
haven't you been saying how bad things are getting for you in the past 2 years or so?
>how nature can just look like that
i mean if you think about it our idea of picturesque comes from how nature looks all the time, since most paintings initially were paintings of nature. yet we're not even trying to preserve all this beauty and we'd rather die working in factories for all our lives.
>of a dumb twerp to appreciate it all
kind of the same though i didn't travel cause i'd always refuse to go anywhere. the few times i did were nice i guess, but old me just wanted to stay in his room and play videogames all day.
>>82447465
>Nothing a hospital stay can't fix.
i see. is this person sick or have they got in accident or something? it's fine if you'd rather not talk about it.

>>82447403
>Is that good?!
Of course it is, I'm suoer happy my favourite web comic is updating in my life time.
>>82447465
Thanks for advice, kind stranger.

>>82447548
>haven't you been saying how bad things are getting for you in the past 2 years or so?
Things around me have been getting worse, but *I* haven't, is what I meant. I've gotten very strong in comparison to a decade ago, for instance. I used to have a lot of meltdowns over things and be very suicidal basically all the time, but now I'm cool as cucumber almost all the time despite everything in my life being worse. And my life happenstances just got worse because of sudden autoimmune disease blast, it's not exactly the most common thing. If I hadn't gotten ill, I'd be raking in the dough, living a good life with the gf, etc. And despite getting so screwed over, I'm not even bitter outside of the occasional mopey day. So it feels like whenever I figure all this medical stuff out, I'll be golden! I feel so resilient now, like nothing can stop me. And knowing how pathetic I was when I was a teen, it just feels like anyone can become super strong! But if you haven't noticed, I'm on the optimistic side, and perhaps the naive side, sometimes...
>yet we're not even trying to preserve all this beauty and we'd rather die working in factories for all our lives.
Now you're making me think of Bing from black mirror! Because I'm pretty sure none of us actually like the factories...
>old me just wanted to stay in his room and play videogames all day.
Me too... My family tried so hard to get me to socialize with others kids, but wow did I want to stay attached to my gamecube...

>>82447585
>Of course it is
Yeehaw!!!! Just don't die of pissblood....

>>82447486
Hm, so maybe she isn't super unhinged... It depends. Seeing how my ex is now after almost a decade is kinda crazy. She's just a calm little art hoe now for the most part.
>substances
This is terrifying!!!! To me at least... Good luck, nonny, it sounds like you're in for a bumpy ride, tee bee aytch...

>>82447548
>there's a time to take it easy and a time to do your best too
aye... but i'm afraid i can't do either
not when sleep deprived, right now i'm just sitting at work unable to do anything, not that there's much to do but i wouldn't have been able to yield results like this

i remember why i left her now, both times
seems like whenever she's around me, she (knowingly or otherwise) causes a storm in my life
i haven't had an insomnia fit this bad since i was a teenager...

>>82447548
>is this person sick or have they got in accident or something?
Something like that. I'm not worried sick anymore though. What's got you panicking?

>>82448826
Is it a family member? I hope your grandpas and grandmas are all doing okay.

>>82448885
It was a close friend.
Unfortunately I don't have any grandparents these days as my parents are almost 70... but they seem fine. I hope your grandparents are doing okay too!

>>82447632
fuck you
>>82448826
and fuck you too

>>82448981
*kisses you on the cheek*

>>82449080
Don't instigate, nona

>>82442032
The worst is yet to come.

classes r finally over 4 2day! I can take it easy now
i wonder where animal anon went...
>>82447386
>Nah, not really. Don't wanna weight you down with my insignificant problems.
it okie
>Honestly I like all of them (except for 5th one obvs.) but my first ever exposure to series as a whole was the dinosaur one so it's my favourite (even if people think it sucks), I love them dinos.
dinosaur one was alright. I think the second one was a bit weaker than the third one
>Well, it is what it is. Don't blame yourself, it's not like you can control who goes in here and who doesn't. You're doing well despite all the haters.
i just want the good ol times back...
>>82447403
>No, I wasn't. But the relatives I'm close to were, if that makes sense. So everyone around me was grieving pretty bad.
i see. Hopefully u won't need 2 grieve like that any time soon!
>I got zip nada zilch. They might be changing some other medication but I have no hope it'll work, as most of them never do. All I wanted was any pain meds to help me not be in agony after short trips like yesterday.
that sucks
hopefully the new meds will help. Why do u think they won't
>Have you taken meds before?
I have been taking different meds since 2023
>Try to keep an eye on yourself as best you can.
yeah koishi has def noticed some changes...
>>82447465
>Today I had my one class this semester. The lecturer looks like the lovechild of George Lucas and Colonel Sanders with a voice like John C. Reilly. From some angles I was convinced he was George Lucas. Interesting guy.
what was the class on?
>>82447548
>ahhh right those... i've never seen anything from star trek other than 500 cigarettes skit. and im not even sure that's from star trek either...
that's Orville...
>so far, i haven't learned much i fear
u can do it! If i can learn things, so can u!
>such as?
they kinda help with avolition

>>82425675 (OP)
Why are people replying to ts bot
Are 4tranners that lonely? Just groom a teen on discord kek

>>82449885
Welcome back Hater-chan. Was school starting to stress you out?

>>82425675 (OP)
>r u taking it easy
I'm trying, but a fucking nigger DEI dentist assistant fucked my temporary crown so badly I pushed it off with my tongue within an hour of it going on, now it fucking hurts and I can't eat right, and now I'm going back tomorrow to get it fixed, and I bet a good nickel they're gonna make her try again, and if they do, I'm just gonna quietly walk out.

>>82450001
Christ. Take care anon, that sounds horrible.

>>82425675 (OP)
I'm taking it SPICY

>>82438970
>wdym by "playing it safe"?
As in, you weren't such a spineless faggot at the time
>should i just call u "anon" then?
Call me anything that doesn't make me feel like a looni troon
>>82439383
Don't worry about it, this is just satire
>>82443762
Not telling ya, do your own research, or ask lurker-tan once she's over the allegations

Maybe I should start making protein shakes or something similiar, this whole calorie counting ordeal is already getting annoying. At least exercise feels good.
>>82449289
>i just want the good ol times back...
You're not the only one. It's better to be together than alone with your worries. We can worry together.

>>82451050
>satire
sounds like the kind of banter i used to have with the people i talked to back in the day
i guess being all aggressive like that lost its charm to me, save for some very specific people because i like pretending i'm angry/irritable for comic effect
half the time it fails though, lol

>>82451295
>picrel
Yes Jesus, I'll shoot heretics for you, amen.

>>82452323
>amen
if anyone does not love the lord, jesus christ, let him be accursed, o lord come AYYMEN.

>>82446278
>what is he like?
I have know him for years for 8 years now. Someone I can always talk to. literally can just talk to him for hours on end.

>>82425675 (OP)
yeah i just ordered chinese food

>>82449885
grooming is hard i'd rather reply to bots
look at my pasta

Not taking it easy today. I don't think I'll be taking it easy for a while. I didn't get enough sleep and fell asleep in class. Loneliness is killing me too.

I'm starting to become concerned about me only getting horny and getting off by jerking off with other people on discord. I want to do something with my life like become fit and meet women irl and have normal sex but instead end up jerking and cumming together with random anons on discord

>>82450001
that sounds horrible anon
i hope u get iut fixed
>>82450573
how r u taking it spicy?
>>82451050
>As in, you weren't such a spineless faggot at the time
was I a "spineless faggot" in the summer of 2024 when we became frens?
I think u changed 2, anon. U used 2 b a lot less grumpy. I wonder what happened...
>>82451086
>Maybe I should start making protein shakes or something similiar, this whole calorie counting ordeal is already getting annoying. At least exercise feels good.
how long have u been excercizing?
>You're not the only one. It's better to be together than alone with your worries. We can worry together.
thank u 4 being here w me, randal!
>>82453533
where did u meet him?
at work?
>>82454437
chinese food sounds nise
what did u order?
>>82454543
ganbarae! Did u spend all ur free time trying 2 catch up?
>Loneliness is killing me too.
I hope these threads can alleviate it somehow!
>>82454987
>I want to do something with my life like become fit and meet women irl
I sometimes wish i could do that 2

>>82456169
My posts got deleted lmao ty for giving good advice though and being nice

>>82454987
I used to do that. Eventually you'll stop because it's a lot of effort to jerk off like that.

Where is animal GOD...

>>82456975
It's time to let go, nonny...

>>82457034
I don't want to let go... how could anyone let go animal GOD?

>>82456975
He'll be alright. That's all that matters.

Hey asshole, if you can still pick out which posts are mine, I'm still alive. Dont worry.

Hope you're doing alright.

>>82426124
>How hard would it b 2 get one?
Already got one set up so it wasn't that bad
thanks 4 asking

>>82449289
>hopefully the new meds will help. Why do u think they won't
Because this will be like my 8th immunosuppressant, all the previous ones not working well enough to be considered effective. It's kinda just a roulette until we find one that works well, and it just seems like it's unlikely based on, well... none working so far.
>I have been taking different meds since 2023
Okay, so you're not a noob at least! I thought you only just started meds for the first time.
>koishi has def noticed some changes...
They sound like you're just less angry changes, though, from what I've read? Isn't that good? Or perhaps I'm misinterpreting.
Also I appreciate how you always reply to everyone!

>>82456169
>how long have u been excercizing?
For about 4 days now, turns out I already shaved off 3 kilos off my body, which is pretty good if you ask me.
>thank u 4 being here w me, randal!
Anytime my man.
>>82458154
You're on immunosuppresants too? My mannnn, high five!

>>82458362
>You're on immunosuppresants too? My mannnn, high five!
It sucks!!! none of them work, at least not fully.
What are you on yours for? I have terrible arthritis, myself.

>>82456169
>where did u meet him?
Near the end of senior year of high school, 2nd semester honestly.
>at work?
somehow met him again while working the same job at the local car wash.

>be me, eurocuck
>log on X
>everything is censored
>have to give them my personal info to look at drawings
I don't really give a fuck about X, but I hope anyone who voted for this shit to happen gets raped and murdered by immigrants, fucking duplicitous hypocrite buffoons

>>82451295
It worked for me, some anons thought I was an anime villain for a while
>>82456169
>summer of 2024
That was literally when I started complaining about it
>frens
*acquaintances
>I wonder what happened
It's simple, you just need to notice the patterns. I don't complain for the fuck of it, there are clearly issues that you won't acknowledge. This isn't specifically about you though, it's the whole cabal that's falling apart.
Whatever really, I don't care as much as I used to, just remember what I said about fake people if you don't wanna get on my bad side again, for now I'll stop bitching about it.
>>82456202
I don't see any deleted posts in the archive, what are you talking about?
Sex with Shinobu btw
>>82456975
He's too busy to entertain the kids in these threads
>>82458154
>less angry changes
That's not it at all, he's always been incapable of getting angry

You know, I had something happen to me today, that really is making me take it easy.

I can't even put it into words.

The weight of a million sandbags, lifed

>>82458544
cabal is quite the word to use.

>>82458400
I'm on azatheoprine since last year, it works for me but also makes me 10x weaker to poison damage.
Since I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis also last year and gastritis recently I'm also currently on antibiotics and stomach meds. Overall that's 8 different medications a day.
>>82458544
>change cuntry in profile to anywhere outside europe
>set vpn to america
>profit

>>82458719
Your stomach issues sound painful. I really hate to hear you got UC...

>Hide and seek
I wish I played that more as a kid. Such more innocent times. Ice Age, too. Fun movie. I miss the days before AI so very much.

trying to take it easy at work, succeeding partially
i really, really need to talk to more people but i've been trapped in this site for so long that i don't know where to look anymore
been thinking about wasting away at online games again, or paying for a martial arts club near here (which apparently has kendo and archery), but prob going with games
i just hope whichever one i pick will have a good community...

>>82458362
>>82458400
imagine trying to high five a guy with terrible arthritis
i'd kek if it didn't send a chill down my spine because that'd hurt immensely

>>82458671
Screech hard enough and even the dead will show up...
>>82458719
Using a vpn won't change the fact that I'm a eurocuck, it's just putting a bandaid on an issue that could (and will) get worse sooner or later

>>82458544
>That's not it at all
Yeah, I wouldn't know, I'm noob.

>>82458572
Sounds good, non!! Enjoy taking it easy while you can.

>>82458719
>Overall that's 8 different medications a day
All just for the stomach?! That sounds brutal... Gut problems are truly terrible...
For my arthritis I'm only ever on 2 medications at once, methotrexate and some biologic, whichever one I happen to be trying at that time. None of them ever really get the job done, and methotrexate just makes me feel sick, I don't know why they keep me on it...
>azatheoprine
Apparently something else I might be able to try instead of MTX. Maybe I should bring it up with the doc next time.

>>82458767
>imagine trying to high five a guy with terrible arthritis
I could do it!!! Though it'd be easier if it wasn't actually a high five high up in the air, my shoulders don't like to let me lift my arms that high without struggle. Oddly, impact damage isn't too bad usually, at least for me. Bumping my hand or in this case a high five would be okay. Now, a firm handshake? Rest in peace my hands...
I hope you find some people to talk to, non!

>>82458946
>Oddly, impact damage isn't too bad usually
oh huh, interesting
you'll be fine then, lol

>a firm handshake? Rest in peace my hands...
well... remind me to go easy on you if we meet then
my handshakes tend to be quite firm... the firmer it is, the more excited i am to meet the other person

>I hope you find some people to talk to, non!
me too, thank you...
i feel like i'm depressed, i know it's not full blown depression but it feels very much like it
yesterday i struggled to make a quick dinner and shower, which is something i usually am eager to do when i get home
skipped gym too, didn't do shit except waste away in 4chan looking for chats anywhere i could shove my nose in, and played dead cells for a bit after a while
turns out i still somewhat got the hang of it with the cursed sword and 5 stem cells, huh

>Captcha: SAHHH
>saar, saar? SAAAHHHH

>>82458745
Well, what can you do. One person gets no autoimmune disorders and I get two. Balance of nature's forces.
>>82458767
I wouldn't do that if that was the case.
>>82458910
Dude, censorship in my cuntry is ever worse and it also will get worse eventually. A band aid is better than letting it rot.
>>82458946
2 of the are for stomach bacteria I containamed with, apparentaly it causes stomach cancer. 2 is for said antibiotics and 2 is for gastritis.
Azatheoprine is much more effective I think, it worked its miracle for me.

>>82459447
>I wouldn't do that if that was the case.
aye, i imagined so
still, you're in the clear because of anon's odd resistance to impacts, so it's all good
just don't expect a high five way up in the air as he said...

i remember when i was a kid and i could feel my bones and joints creaking and almost hear them, as if it was like two pieces of rubber pressing against each other... i felt no pain but hearing and feeling that bothered me immensely

Sleepy day today. I guess I needed the rest since I've had very little these last few days. I'll probably go back to bed soon.

>>82449289
>what was the class on?
Research design. I think this one should be quite useful.

>>82451086
Calorie counting is a pain but it's basically the only way to lose weight. The easiest thing you can do is not drink soda.

>>82458544
A small price to pay for making it marginally more difficult for kids to look at boobies...

>>82458767
>but prob going with games
Which were you thinking of?

>>82459447
>censorship in my cuntry is ever worse and it also will get worse eventually
I know people in China use something called Clash which is like a mix of different protocols to get around the great firewall. Do Ruskies have anything like that?

>>82459553
>Do Ruskies have anything like that?
Mostly just the usual vpn, though there are a couple protocols that act like a proxy and vpn at the same time.

>>82425675 (OP)
what about you? are you taking it easy?

>>82459553
>Do Ruskies have anything like that?
Yeah, things like Zapret and GoodbyeDPI

>>82459071
>my handshakes tend to be quite firm
Some doctors squeeze the hell out of my hand and I feel like I want to drop to my knees and cry right then and there...
Why do people do this!!
>yesterday i struggled to make a quick dinner and shower
But it's important to recognize that you still did them! Keep that momentum rolling as best you can. Even if you take it a little slower for a bit, don't fully stop. Starting from a dead stop can be the hardest thing sometimes.
>dead cells
Hell yeah... I haven't played that in a long time now, but I really liked that game.
>5 stem cells
Dang, you're pretty good... I think I struggled at like 3. I always rush rush rushed though because I'm impatient. I needed to learn to chill.

>>82459447
>it worked its miracle for me
That's good!! I'm looking for my miracle drug right now. It can be very disheartening, trying med after med after med. I went through this with mental health meds as well, though, so I'm used to it... unfortunately.
So does your stomach still give you issues on the daily? Does it stop you from doing anything at this point? Or is it under control with the concoction of medication?

>>82459478
>i could feel my bones and joints creaking and almost hear them
When I point my microphone at my knee and bend it, I can hear a bunch of grinding. It's kinda neat!! Just also a little existentially scary...

anennnnn, why are you running away from me? Come back and lets be casual chatters

>>82457821
Hey there, nonny
i hope ur doing alright as well!
>>82456202
idk how much my advice is worth
i'm just a mentally ill baka lol
>>82457948
that's nise
what sort of music do u listen 2?
>>82458154
>Because this will be like my 8th immunosuppressant, all the previous ones not working well enough to be considered effective. It's kinda just a roulette until we find one that works well, and it just seems like it's unlikely based on, well... none working so far.
i wonder y they don't work... Do u know why?
>Okay, so you're not a noob at least! I thought you only just started meds for the first time.
nope!
I've been on good goy pillls 4 quite a while. I've been on my current ones since like last year
>They sound like you're just less angry changes, though, from what I've read? Isn't that good? Or perhaps I'm misinterpreting.
I am not sure what is he talking about... Def not anger issues... I managed 2 purge my anger by myself
>>82458362
>For about 4 days now, turns out I already shaved off 3 kilos off my body, which is pretty good if you ask me.
that's nise! Keep at it! What sort of work out plan r u working towards?
>>82458500
is he ur only fren?
>somehow met him again while working the same job at the local car wash.
mayhap it was fate?
>>82458544
it's the same here as well. I've stopped using x alltogehter now
>>82458544
>That was literally when I started complaining about it
i meant like b4 that. And when u started complaining it was about me not being a good enough fren
> just remember what I said about fake people if you don't wanna get on my bad side again, for now I'll stop bitching about it.
do u think i'm fake rn?
(cont)

>>82458572
what's happened?
i am glad ur taking it easy!
>>82458767
do u think u'll b able 2 find any frens there if u choose the clubs? or nah?
>>82459553
>Research design. I think this one should be quite useful.
will u learn how 2 b a good researcher?
>>82459642
maybe a little bit
>>82460035
sure! What u wanna talk about?

Your cadence on the imageboard is far far different than what it was on discord to the point i am stupified

the smell of old pennies...
reminds me of my childhood
just iron though
just iron.

>>82459553
>Which were you thinking of?
none in specific, just some genres
been considering a second mmo era or something, or maybe just hanging out at other coop games' discords, like core keeper

>>82459978
>Some doctors squeeze the hell out of my hand
bruh, if i know you have a condition, i'll go easy on you
i do this myself on reflex, it's a measure of my excitement, but i go easy on women and sick people

>you still did them!
aye, and that's fine, it's just me struggling to do routine shit that spooks me
>don't fully stop.
the day before i skipped the shower, but yesterday i didn't because my hair was getting greasy
i think me still caring about greasy hair is a good sign
you're right though, inertia is a major roadblock, i'll do what i can to avoid it

>Dang, you're pretty good...
i wish, i play on assist mode even though the only thing i add is restarting from last checkpoint instead of all the way back
managed to get through the astrolab with the cursed sword though
> I needed to learn to chill.
in that game you really gotta be hyper though, save for boss fights where you gotta be careful
i myself am a big, big fan of the panchaku and the cursed sword, vorpan slightly less than panchaku
the flint (when legendary) is also broken op, but i keep calling it "the nail" for some reason
which weaps do you usually go for?

>It's kinda neat!! Just also a little existentially scary...
nightmarish, makes me feel like my joints are made of ungreased creaky metal

>>82460243
>do u think u'll b able 2 find any frens there if u choose the clubs?
i hope so, and with any luck, i might
i may as well do both but i may join the club next year when i'm fully established here
i still gotta bring over some stuff from my old place and then buy furniture for my apartment, and a tv as well
gonna take some money to do that, which means time

>>82460237
>what sort of music do u listen 2?
Somewhat obscure electronic music
https://youtu.be/r97gFrJT0tc
https://youtu.be/SWNnZlrDWQo
https://youtu.be/uyURtvH6CXo

and you?

>>82460609
do u still watch tv?
do u rly need one?
>>82460674
i lob electronic music as well!
I also lob 80s core stuff that has heavy synths and such

>>82460258
>>82460306
wdym, nonnies?

>>82461136
>do u still watch tv?
not really
>do u rly need one?
it'd be nice to watch anime or some series once in a blue moon, or play some console games later
what about you, what would you use a tv for?

>>82461142
I'm too emotional to explain at the moment
Emotional mess, really.

>>82461182
have a hug, anon
i wish i could deliver it personally or even send an image here, but i'm stuck at work and probably a few thousand miles away from you
be safe out there, anon

>>82461265
>probably a few thousand miles away from you
California...
Thank you for the hug, anon...

>>82461162
>it'd be nice to watch anime or some series once in a blue moon, or play some console games later
o u have a console?
That makes sense then
>what about you, what would you use a tv for?
IDK
maybe i would connect my computer 2 it
>>82461182
wut's wrong? I could send u a virtual hug 2 if u wanna...

>>82461448
>wut's wrong
I miss you. Also depressed in general.
>wut's wrong? I could send u a virtual hug 2 if u wanna...
Thank you, that would be really sweet and kind of you.

>>82461459
I forgot my relevant cute image...

>>82461301
>California
aye, more than a few thousand at that...
but still, may it warm your soul, anon
god knows we need those hugs...

>>82461448
>u have a console?
no, but i could buy one later

>maybe i would connect my computer 2 it
maybe, but be careful
big screens demand a lot more of gpus than we realize

>he unironically started using the word nonny
It's over...

>>82459447
>censorship in my cuntry is ever worse
Your government being shit is not my problem, my government being shit is
I don't want this place to follow what eastern countries are doing
>>82459553
>kids
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Think_of_the_children
>>82460237
I said no more bitching, forgeddit
>>82461467
This anon is a groomer btw

>>82461540
>This anon is a groomer btw
No, I'm not. Not at all. Fuck off.

>>82461540
imagine letting others' choice of words bug you
lol, lmao even

>>82461459
>I miss you. Also depressed in general.
y r u depressed?
>Thank you, that would be really sweet and kind of you.
have a hug then!
>>82461535
what console would u like 2 get?
>big screens demand a lot more of gpus than we realize
My dream was 2 have screens all over my bed room
I would probably need a powerful gpu 4 that huh...
>>82461540
okay i'll stop...
>I said no more bitching, forgeddit
okay...
how was ur day today?

>>82461675
>y r u depressed?
Lack of meaning. Some things are irreplaceable. That's just the reality of the situation, which is quite normal for everyone. But being aware of it sucks.

Also, worried about my sister. She's far away, an adult now, and just all over the place. We talk often but she's getting worse mentally. Typical meds are the typical prescription....

>>82460237
>i wonder y they don't work... Do u know why?
I have no idea, but medicine in general rarely works for me. I feel like my body is just too chadly and resistant to outside forces...
>I've been on good goy pillls 4 quite a while
Do you think they help? Mine definitely do. Although it took years and I think nearly a dozen different pills to find ones that seem to.

>>82460593
>it's just me struggling to do routine shit that spooks me
I feel that. My biggest sign is how messy my bedroom gets. Not bothering to bring down glasses/cups and stuff like that. Though it's been a while since I've gotten bad, thankfully.
>assist mode
There's an assist mode? I didn't even know...
>restarting from last checkpoint instead of all the way back
Honestly that might be good for that game, it's really depressing when you just suddenly die out of nowhere. Not as bad as Spelunky, though...
>which weaps do you usually go for?
I wish I had an answer, but it's been so long that I forget! I know in general, I was all about red gear, the faster hitting stuff. I do remember all the ones you mentioned and I know I liked them, but I can't think of a favourite... Maybe I'll play sometime soon, though I wonder how much worse I'll have gotten after these years. But now I just realized I never owned the game this whole time?! I guess I pirated it... Time to start fresh, I guess.
>makes me feel like my joints are made of ungreased creaky metal
That's the cool part, though!!! I'm like a robot. Or a golem. Crunching as I move. If only it didn't hurt

>>82461560
My word of choice is faggot, does that bug you, faggot?
>>82461675
>okay i'll stop...
I'm joking, keep doing your thing. Don't complain when I call you gay though
>how was ur day today?
I'm once again back to learning how to le code because all my years spent on this shit career never amount to anything, so that's what I do all day now, besides le guitar and le vidya, wbu?

Remiliaposter needs correcting. Damn brat.

>>82461675
>what console would u like 2 get?
maybe a ps5 and/or a switch 2, who knows
i'll have to see which games interest me before i invest in a console, build a backlog first

>screens all over my bed room
>a powerful gpu
more like a couple, depending on how many screens we're talking here
one gpu may have up to 4 ports iirc>>82461799
>it's been a while since I've gotten bad, thankfully.
good, that's great, epic even
i like to be alone in my misery, we don't need any more downers around this shit

>There's an assist mode?
aye, might be a recent addition
give it a shot, you can see it from the menu i think
>might be good
necessary to me because i do cursed runs, so...
sometimes i die to stupid shit, especially bosses and double especially that clock tower bitch
>Spelunky
what's that?

>red gear, the faster hitting stuff.
aye, brutalitymaxxing
good choice, i remember i used to challenge myself with survival shit and it was harsh but fun
get back into it and lemme know, if your hand joints can take the hype, that is

>robot
anon, look at where you are, lol
still... take some morphine or whatever and go like
>eheheh, creak creak motherfuckers

>>82462061
>faggot
ah yes, the second most overused word in this site, right after nigger
what are you, 12? you need to be 18 or older to post here, you colossal niggerfaggot
lurk moar

Well, I finished cleaning up my room today. Glad to have gotten that dealt with. Currently, I'm listening to my nextdoor neighbors fuck. Looks like my neighbor has bagged some black chick, which is highly unusual considering his usual game screaming self. She definitely got bleached.

Swept, mopped, dusted, ran dishwasher, cleaned bathroom, so on.

Now I must continue thinking about anennnnn.... rent free in my head

back home, kinda taking it easy now
the storm is calming down, and more opportunities are coming up, this job is honestly too good for me
my coworker's son (that one intern over there) said he might call up a group of folks around there, other interns and friends, to a lunch out one of these days and said he'll ask me about it

he's really nice, i enjoy talking to him as well, his passion for tech is also admirable
guy's definitely got a bright future ahead of him, it makes me really happy for him lol
i always thought not involving yourself personally with coworkers was the best move, but i'm starting to see balance is key here
there are some who might be worth breaking that rule for...

i hope you guys are doing great today
stay hydrated, and take note of something you're thankful for today, genuinely so

>>82462544
do you ever get tired of teasing people here?
i mean "teasing" as i doubt anyone but newfags would actually try to press you for an answer at this point, lol

>>82462926
teasing
im the most direct one
i am pretty strongly attracted to >>82461448
the identity
Also, the image is just great. 10/10 image in that post for example.