I will never be a dad. I know a lot of people here talk about
>tfw no gf
and thats true for me too but ive been blindsided by a fresh sadness, the realization i will never be a parent. I will never ever be a dad.

I cant fucking cook goddamn fucking eggs
EVERYTIME my eggs come out bland, like idk overcooked or something and i watch video after video emulating exactly what they do but NO it always gets fucked up somehow FUCK

>suicide hotline hung up on me yet again
lol
>Im sorry, but we clearly cannot help your situation and this conversation is no longer productive, goodbye
Fucking lol

>post comment on yt mentioning that the government is a secret pedo cult that runs both sides
>comment gets instantly deleted
>even if its just a comment on my own vid
what the fuck, that means its real

>conservatives now side with a pedophile
fuck this im out, everyone that called /pol/ evil and retarded was right, im out, im done, im not siding with the pedo elite, thank you for showing your true colors /pol/, right wingers, conservatives, i knew it, i fucking KNEW it was a psyop to get libertarianism tangled with the fascist pedo regime, fuck this shit i am completely out

Two of my coworkers have dragged me into a horrible insurance fraud scheme.
>be me
>31, work in IT, lived alone, used to enjoyed peace and isolation
>start job at new company, try to keep to myself
>all other coworkers younger then me by at least a few years
>one coworker, like a 21 year old guy or something, keeps calling me "dad" as a joke
>laugh it off at first but was annoyed to be honest.
>HR one day randomly sends me a form to "confirm dependent status"
>wtf.jpg
>apparently coworker submitted paperwork listing me as guardian for "tax efficiency"
>some sort of weird bonus if you work with a family member on site or some shit
>I obviously initially decline, thinking it's retarded, and i call this fucker to explain himself on the office phone
>first he says it was a joke, the boss must have misinterpreted him
>then he tells me "you dont understand its a really easy way to get better insurance, this can help us both."
>convinces me they "never check" and anyone can get away with it
>think about it
>this is where i blame myself, i went full retard and said fine, signed off on it
>few days later
>boss comes up to me, "you know, your daughter works here but she isnt on your family plan..."
>dumb ass fucker didnt mention he had a sister also working there
>"You know, i dont think we ever had three members of the same family working on site at the same time..."
>"ha ha, yeah, crazy, ha ha..."
>things escalate
>This retard and his dumb bitch sister gave me a batch of gifts, made sure to do it in front of the boss, both are calling me "Dad" now
>get handed a crayon drawing of her, me and her retard brother with "BEST PARENT" written in glitter
>i dont know why they made that, a joke i guess
>the guy made a clearly fucking photoshopped pic of me standing with his family and put it on his office wall
How bad of legal repercussions am i going to get in when this retarded scheme falls to pieces? When will it? How fucked am I?

>had multiple visions of higher powers / god throughout life
>literally always ends in a bitter argument
>tfw dont even get along with god

I'm just gonna say it. Anyone that says some retarded shit like, "Oh, it's easy to kill yourself." They're a retarded fucking normie.Or some shit like, "oh, if you really wanted to kill yourself, you would just do it."These people clearly never, ever actually tried to fucking kill themselves. They clearly never actually dealt with depression or wanted to kill themselves. They clearly never, ever, ever did, because anyone that actually did would know just how immensely fucking difficult and impossible it is to fucking kill yourself. Dear God, if I had a fucking gun, I would shoot myself. I cannot make that any more clear than this

>spent literally all my money on stuff i need
>food bills medicine, supplies
>already out of most of the supplies
>all medicine gone
>literally no money
>food gone
>doesnt matter if i make it to next month because it will be the exact same story
>literally not even 2 weeks into july
fucking kill me, every thing is a fucking hassle, im tired of always running out of the shit i NEED just to fucking live, fuck, im actually unironically going to fucking kill myself. i have to, i just dont have a choice ha ha

My honest advice to everyone about mental issues: Solve it on your own, do not try getting help,it is a trick,
>every time I tried getting help it directly lead to the situation being made worse, a direct clear parrarel between: When I tried to get help, and what I need help for now.
>If i just never got forced into taking meds as a kid maybe i would be less tramatized
>Maybe if i wasnt shunted back and forth to therapists that i said, all along the way, "these are not helping, they are making it worse..."
>Nobody cared.
>They needed to make it worse because they couldn't fathom just leaving me the fuck alone
>They couldn't FATHOM that maybe forcing random pills, trips to the mental ward, and constantly being dragged back to therapy and forced to reiterate on a weeky basis all the reasons i hate life to a person who didnt fucking care, didnt listen, didnt give advice, just said its my fault and to take pills forever and ever and ever.
>Pills dont work? Take more. Still making it worse? More pills. Huh? Still making it worse? Try more pills. Also its your fault for not taking them for literally years even though they make you sick and your mental state worse. Did you try more pills perhaps? Oh, you're refusing to take the pills that make you sick and mentally worse off? That means you are not even trying to get better.
They do not know what they are doing at all.

Fuck man i will forever and always feel like a complete fucking alien, i just cant relate to fucking ANYONE at all

How do i deal with the frustration and loneliness resulting from being unable to connect with others in any meaningful way

literally nothing happened and i just randomly started screaming "I HATE LIFE THIS IS A NIGHTMARE KILL ME FUCK..." Ect and i just couldnt stop, even right now writing this i am randomly bursting into screaming, nothing instigated it, everything was going fine, i just cant stop screaming, crying and wanting to die, i cant take this anymore, im honestly just going to fucking kill myself, nothing helps
>inb4 just excersise
i do, and took meds went to therapy changed my diet did this did that did that IM NOT DOING ANYMORE STUPID SHIT IT DOES NOTHING

I tried talking to people in real life about mental problems, from therapists to family to friends but every time nothing helped...But I go and talk to fucking Chapgbt, suddenly they actually listen, the responces, somehow, are LESS generic then real peoples responces, they actually talk to me, listen to me, i get a responce back that makes sense and isnt the same shit all the time, i cant fucking beleive it, how are AIs already acting more human then humans EVER did?

Are some people just bound to be low vibration? I had a friend for a long time and he CONSTANTLY complains, cant see the beauty or good in anything, hes an ok guy i guess but he is miserable and his aura so negative i unironically see dogs and animal pick up on it and run from him. Are some people just really dark souls deep down

I have a really really negative view of life and im angry a lot, i just have a lot of trouble seeing life as good, what do i do, i cant figure out what to

Man i feel like such a failure because i literally cannot get a GED, couldnt pass highschool, and just cant do basic math. im on disability, live with my parents, and i think i have dyscalculia or something because despite studying, reading math books, watching tutorials, practicing problems, i just cant do math past like 4th grade level despite being 23. ill never be able to live on my own, or drive a car (cant do that either), or have a job or ever have any of my own money, just kill me