>Be me
>Trying to fatmaxx
>Eating 4k calories a day for over a month now
>Work a basic bitch retail job
>Have barely gained 5lbs if even that
Why do I even try? Im pounding back boost more than water and not barely gaining anything.

Why do slavs always either look like apes or etheral peak troon material twinks with no in between?

did any other trannies never get taught how to do basic life things??

like i do not know how i am going to move out, what im gonna do, how to drive, how to properly feed myself, socialize, anything... and im 22...

i wish i had someone to hold me in bed

and tell me im pretty (even though its not true, theres a reason im still boymoding 4 years into estrogen)

and teach me how to not be a retarded subhuman

and hold me down and squeeze me when im sad and to go places with and try to talk with even though im retarded and impossible to speak to

the only happy memory i have is meeting an incel from 4chan and walking around/cuddling with them for a few hours

the rest of my life has just been depression and trauma

do any other boymoders not even see the point of taking estrogen anymore?

ive been taking injection for 4 years and nothing about my life has improved except that i have softer skin. i still live as a man even though i literally have the physique of a teenage girl. im not even any happier, i dont have the energy to care about being a girl.

should i detransition
ive been on estrogen for years now and im tihking possibly the mental issues i have could be due to estrogen in some way

I am fundamentally broken and unworthy of love.

i think my self hate is starting to manifest itself into transphobia but im afraid that im going to end up hurting the people i love since many of my best friends are also trans what the fuck do i do i think im defective and wrong and i have it in my head that part of that is that im trans and it helps feed my self hate but i dont want to start believing that outwardly how do i stop that from happening and affecting the people i care about please help