>>24593112
This book does a good job of categorizing but goes way too soft on the internalizers. Gibson asserts the need for self-awareness but speaks to an idealized reader, a martyr identity that when taken on by readers lacking in self-awareness themselves risks excusing antisocial behavior. I don’t necessarily blame Gibson, as she clearly didn’t want to inspire guilt in what by her estimation are already unjustly guilt-ridden people, but there’s a clear line from this book to people complaining to their roommates about emotional labor, for example. The book mentions off-hand things like internalizers turning to escapism, internalizers having impossibly idealized expectations of behavior from others, and internalizers holding deep, silent resentment against the people in their lives, but puts way more words toward warning the imagined internalizer reader that they’re likely being exploited or victimized by others. Like all therapy it’s a toolset that can and absolutely does get misused, and the book really could have used more invitations for the reader to reflect on how their childhood-influenced behaviors affects the way they treat people in their adult lives. Blaming your parents is a step but once you ice them out you’re still the person they made you.
Also it’s nuts that it recommends you print out multiple copies of one of the exercises and carry them around so you can diagnose everyone in your life’s emotional immaturity. Perfect example of the neurotic behaviors this book can inspire in the wrong reader.
