I just cant seem to get over my suicidal urges. Everyoe i talk to just says to excersise, change my diet, take meds, get therapy, ok, i tried all that, over and over and over again, didnt work, still just want to kill myself. What do i do.

>always read online stuff like how easy school is, how people "breeze through" colledge or whatever
>meanwhile i started failing school in elementary and literally could not pass despite trying my absolute hardest
>to this day i can not pass at all the ged which everyone claims is so fucking easy
Man what the fuck

the world is run by pedo nazi jews , the 3 things i hate the most

My worldview and understanding of the world just seems so fuckig incompatable with anyone elses, i wish i had a fucking echo chamber like reddit, or 4chan, but i hate the consesus realities either create, fuck, i feel so alien, i feel so isolated

I failed school, I can't get a GED, I can't drive a car, I can't get a job, I can't wake up or go to bed at the right hours each day, so I can't get on a schedule. I have like seven different diagnosed mental illnesses, I have autism, I've been to the mental ward three times, I've been arrested and imprisoned a few times, I never had a job, I can't drive, never had any sort of relationship of any kind, I don't really have any friends, there's nothing that I really like doing, I don't have any money, I never have access to like food or supplies or anything like that, we're always running low on money so we can't really ever get that. What am I supposed to do? Like seriously, how the fuck am I supposed to not want to kill myself? Why shouldn't I? I don't get it, why shouldn't I fucking kill myself? I cannot fathom a single reason not to fucking die. I'm going to, that's it, I'm done, I have to, I have to kill myself, I can't keep living at all.

I failed school, I can't get a GED, I can't drive a car, I can't get a job, I can't wake up or go to bed at the right hours each day, so I can't get on a schedule. I have like seven different diagnosed mental illnesses, I have autism, I've been to the mental ward three times, I've been arrested and imprisoned a few times, I never had a job, I can't drive, never had any sort of relationship of any kind, I don't really have any friends, there's nothing that I really like doing, I don't have any money, I never have access to like food or supplies or anything like that, we're always running low on money so we can't really ever get that. What am I supposed to do? Like seriously, how the fuck am I supposed to not want to kill myself? Why shouldn't I? I don't get it, why shouldn't I fucking kill myself? I cannot fathom a single reason not to fucking die. I'm going to, that's it, I'm done, I have to, I have to kill myself, I can't keep living at all.

i wouldnt get along with my parents if we werent related, i dont think i ever met someone id get along with :(

i cant shake the urge to kill myself no matter what i do

i just dont understand how or why im supposed to go through life when i just fucking hate it so much . I'm going to actually fucking kill myself soon

i think im going to try and kill myself because I cant take care of myself and
>failed elementary schooling
>cant drive
>never had a job
>never had any romantic partners
>cant do basic math, so cant get ged or pay bills or taxes
>live with parents
>diagnosed autism
>diagnosed low iq
>dont get along with anyone
>dont like doing anything
>lazy and unproductive
>disgusted by nature
>no survival instinct

I have suicidality that is completely disconnected from circumstances. For instance i notice i want to kms just as much when im happy as sad, it doesnt matter, even like right after completing a goal, i want to die. Even when happy, i want to die. Its this constant burning curiosity. I dont want life. I dont want a body. I need nonexistence. I need death. Its not an emotional thing, its just...I need to die

I am going to kill myself by self inducing hypothermia this winter. It will literally take less then a few hours. Just gonna wait till the next time its 24 or less degrees at night, then im gonna go to the woods in the middle of the night, douse myself with ice water, and finally be free. It will hurt but it will hurt less then going through this nightmare. seriously just cant stand this shit anymore, its just so painful and disgusting, being alive is hurting my soul and there is not nearly enough good to even consider staying.

>highly expensive meds cost 30 dollars out of my pocket for literally 4 doses (less then a fucking week worth of meds )
>the package had only fucking 3 doses in it regardless
im going to fucking kill myself soon

I fucking hate when incompetent people get away with their shit simply because the competition is twice as incompetent