Thread 719687158

>/v/ tells you game is a masterpiece
>it's actually an irredeemable piece of shit
what's her name?

Morrowind no contest

>>719687158 (OP)
any game /v/tards shill, literally all of them

>>719687190
filtered

>>719687158 (OP)
Super Mario 64
>the game with the worst camera on earth
>and some of the most bland and empty levels
>that makes you replay each level 6 times
>with some of the most nonsensical and frustrating physics
>where you accelerate like a van, turn like a boat, ricochet off walls like a bouncy ball, struggle to walk up a slight incline, and with literal invisible walls scattered throughout levels
>with a dozen different jump variants when all you want is a fucking camera that is actually looking where you're going instead of shoved up Mario's asshole
>is somehow shilled here as one the best games ever made

>>719687272
uhhh kino alert

>>719687254
thank god

>>719687158 (OP)
Monster Hunter Rise
>It's totally wayyy better than World! It's just like you're playing GU again!!
nu-MH players make me sick

Any of the souls games
The genre is dogshit

>>719687158 (OP)
Witcher 3. Total dogshit

>>719687158 (OP)
I'm gonna say Hotline Miami 2 but only because it's such a crazy deviation from the first game.
On its own its a fine game. But trying to follow up the Fibonacci-tier perfection that is the first game was a pretty lofty goal in the first place, and it just ends up feeling bloated and tone deaf.

>>719687158 (OP)
SEA monkeys claiming that hoyoshit revolutionize whatever genre they touch when they barely approach normie tier, and the soundtracks are always overrated as shit too

>>719687158 (OP)
isnt that a century egg? those are actually pretty tasty despite smelling like that

>>719687698
HM2's gameplay and level design are miles better than HM1

Can't speak on the story because I don't really care about either of them, I just view them as cocaine-fueled murder porn games

i look like this

>>719687190
The universal tell for people born after 9/11

>>719687158 (OP)
any video game past the age of 11

>/v/: dude VA-11 Hall-A is a super comfy bar game!
>it's a lame visual novel

sigh

Witcher 3. I will never get my time back from trying it. I'm pretty sure it was made specifically for game journalists and their adjacents.

little mungkey fella

>>719687158 (OP)
Undertale
Deltarune

Every game mentioned in this thread is actually good.

>>719687852
as a tender of bars, if someone gave me a card with their drink's recipe, i'd kick them out

>>719687852
>salad in a glass
fuck off

Nier Automata

>>719687915
as someone who knows nothing about bars I'd do the same

Shin Megoomi Tensei on the SNES.
Despite being a Wizardry clone, it has 12 times higher random encounter rate.
Who design this shit?

>>719687772
getting shot by enemies that aren't even on screen is not an improvement in gameplay

>>719687929
>>salad in a glass
its muddled and strained so its just the juice.

>>719687929
>he's never had a mojito

i legit pity you

>See people going crazy about vampire survivors
>Everything about it looks like a low-effort, garbage phone game
>People insisting its great, saying they've put dozens of hours into it
>Finally check it out
>It is in fact a low-effort, garbage phone game
Utterly bamboozled

>>719687980
Use peek you fucking smoothbrained imbecile.
Understand lines of sights and windows you fucking smoothbrained imbecile.

Sorry that you couldn't just run into a room and mash melee to kill everyone for the entire level, you fucking retard.

>>719687772
The story of the first is that there is no story lol. The second takes the setting more seriously, and that's reflected in the gameplay by changing your character every chapter. It's not dogshit on it's own, but it not as refined compared to the first.

You guys wanna hear something hilarious? I hate video games, and have nothing to play, but I continue to come back to this board daily in hopes that /v/ will post some new game I'd overlooked and I end up with a new obsession that fills my life with a modicum of purpose.

>>719688045
this 10 year old calling a flash game a phone game lollllllll

>>719688090
New games wont do that. You'll have to look to older games that were actually fun.

>>719688090
DOS2 was the most fun I've had with vidya in well over a decade, and it still amazes me that a game that is so fucking good in so many areas actually exists.

But ymmv, it's definitely not for everyone and a lot of people have trouble getting into it.

The “BLAST” game

>>719687852
you sound like the type of pretentious drink jockey that would unironically hand these out once someone starts having fun

>>719687852
>"woow look at all these waifu's!"
>They're all either lesbians or asexual
>The only busty woman is a giga slut who downright says she will never form a meaningful connection with anyone
What a waste of fucking time this was.

>>719687158 (OP)
why he giv monke rotten egg?

>>719688291
If you're drunk enough to be cut off, you wouldn't be able to read this.

>>719687158 (OP)
Many such case

>>719688026
I don't think he takes it in the ass like you.

>>719688090
how old u is, nigga? hard to give a rec w/o some context

>>719688316
He's a faggot

>GotG game
>It's actually really good you guys! The story is so well done, it deserved better!
>It's the most generic capeshit you can play

>>719687158 (OP)
Expedition 33. God what a shit game.

>>719687810
Not born after 9/11 but Gothic is just superior, man.

>>719688301
>i can't enjoy people's company unless i can fuck them
wew

>>719687623
This but also for Wilds

>>719688471
that's why he's not allowed at family reunions or within 1,000 feet of schools or zoos anymore

>>719687158 (OP)
GTA4

>>719687258
None of these critiques are true.

>>719688471
>>719688561

If the premise is a visual novel, where you legitimately are expecting romantic routes for each main character, then its a pretty fair take, samenigger-kun
>woooow did you just want something to appeal to you as a straight white male?
Yeah
Kys

>>719687623
I enjoy it but my only other MH was psp one with the comfy mountain village. Never got far in it though so mabe that's why I like Rise.

>any nintendo game after the gc era
>all nshittyfour games
>undertale/deltarune troon shit
>hollow knight
>all gacha shit
>world of trannycraft
>desu sex
>thief
>poe/poe2
>dishonored games
>bethesda slop
>all anime gooner slop that's not gacha
>nu-doom games
>dragon quest
>hell divers
>tranny fortress 2
etc etc
/v/ has really shitty taste

>>719688742
you forgot your cobson reaction image, king

>you can date cute witches
>literally nothing happens

biggest blue balls in my life

>>719688687
>where you legitimately are expecting romantic routes for each main character
sounds like you went in with the wrong expectations then

>>719688687
>where you legitimately are expecting romantic routes for each main character
where was that advertised

Metroid Prime 1. Jesus christ, what an absolute disappointment.

>>719688687
It's a job simulator where you talk to your clients, not a fucking dating game.

I don't think I've ever seen /v/ claim a game is a masterpiece, at least not in a consensus way. maybe the odd outlying poster will have something positive to say but in general /v/ just moans and bitches about every game under discussion

>>719688742
>didnt mention fez
weak

[old game]

>>719688815
Right? As soon as I realized there was no ADS while moving, I dropped it.

>>719688794
I liked most of the dates and Merula is a fun character, but it's aimed at children so of course it'll be mostly dull.
Haven't mucked around with it since the post-graduation stuff though.

>>719688352
True, been cut off many times.
Got told, got pissed and or sad, then blacked out. Coming to walking down some street with no idea where I was, hoping to blackout again and use my subconscious to get home. Worked almost everytime I think.

>>719688847
>fez

damn, that's a name i haven't heard in a long time

>>719687158 (OP)
FF7 Rebirth

>>719688291
If that makes you mad, you should try to order the angel shot with lime.

>>719688906
what emotion is that cat trying to convey?

>>719688352
you're not over 18, don't pretend you've ever been anywhere that serves alcohol

>>719688905
Time for a fez 2 thread kek

>>719688090
imagine coming to this shithole daily lmao
this place is full of fucking retards, I only come here when I need to be reminded how low humanity can sink.

>>719687810
TES has always been a shit series.
morrorwind is just skyrim for boomers.
t. 94

>>719688958
If I could just sleep forever, I'm sure I could be happy.

>>719688352
almost?

>>719688847
there were plenty of threads about it but actual hype or repeated praise? there was none, Phil will forever suck dick

>>719688942
Man, there are so many bitches ordering that shit these days. Like what kind of sugary nonsense are those anyway? I always ends up leaving before they get it.

final fantasy and troon turn based games

>>719687190
Yup this is true, only idiots like that game

>>719687158 (OP)
FF9 and FF12.
Every XIVfag says to play those 2 if you never have. They are boring shit.

>>719689229
what's an anon-approved turn based game?

>>719688471
Unironically yes. Any man hanging out with a woman out of friendship is lying to you or a closet faggot.

>>719688316
its a chinese egg where they cook it in literal piss

>>719689303
Undertale
Divinity 2
Baldur's Gate 3
Expedition 33

>>719688958
>just eat me already

>>719688906
literally me when a woman is talking

>>719687190
fpbp

>>719688906
she's ugly in this webm but just how ugly is she without the filters you see warping the background in this video

>>719688467
Gothic is great and has cool shit in it that TES wouldn't get until Oblivion, but it's SERIOUSLY held back by the controls, doesn't have 1/4 the content of Morrowind, and doesn't have 1/100th the replay value/moddability (Not to say there aren't good gothic 1 mods, but they're outnumbered a thousand to one by good morrowind mods.)

>>719688810
It's kind of a staple of the genre.

new vegas.

>>719687158 (OP)
Hollow Knight

>>719687158 (OP)
chrono trigger

>>719687158 (OP)
>"morrowind has the best writing!!!"
>it's literally just hinduism mixed with fetch quests
man what a pile of shit

>>719687158 (OP)
Expedition 33 is the epitome of this ever since /v/ got invaded by the twitterfags who came over after the thread screenshot crossposting trade-route was established

>>719687158 (OP)
literally any souls game.
all it does is make me want to play monster hunter instead

>>719687158 (OP)
The entire Atelier franchise.

>>719687158 (OP)
honestly had a hard time wrapping my mind around how bad la noire was. it's funny to see how absolutely none of the systems work i guess

hollow knight
outer wilds

>>719688090
Go download an emulator and some old game roms. Infinitely more entertainment than the dogshit that sheep slurp up ever since 2020.

>>719687158 (OP)
Do female monkeys find obese monkeys less attractive or is that not important in the rest of the animal kingdom?

>>719687657
this, we don't hate it enough because no one played it

>>719687915
I once had a nervous bartender tell me he didn't know what a negroni was when I could see the campari behind the bar
Me and my group of friends laughed in his face and made fun of him before leaving
Were we in the wrong?

>>719687758
/v/ has terrible taste, Sekiro is the worst hack and slash I've played with even goon bait like stellar blade being better and the last two zeldas were actual dogshit.
Genshin > Zelda
ZZZ > Sekiro
only HSR is bad

>>719690458
fat monkeys get eaten

>>719690348
>Atelier
Someone put the Dusk trilogy in a list of "darkest JRPGs" and all I can think of is that meme with Spongebob and Patrick on the tiny roller coaster for children.

>>719690549
I asked ChatGOT and it confirm that these fat park monkeys are essentially seen as the Incel NEETs of their world.

>Final Thought:

>While monkeys don’t judge each other based on looks in the way humans do, being physically fit and healthy is still key to reproductive success in most species—including monkeys.
>So the poor peanut-fed park monkey probably isn't winning any mates in the troop hierarchy.

>>719688794
what game? i know its harry potter related

>>719690756
it probably depends on a lotof things. a fat monkey who whips ass probably gets more monkey pussy than a skinny monkey who whips no ass

>>719687158 (OP)
Marvel rivals
/v/ was making it out to be the second coming of Christ
Turns out it's just an Overwatch clone in an awful engine with a coat of capeshit paint over top

>>719687158 (OP)
>Even monkeys won't eat chinese "delicacies"
Lmao

>>719690756
ChatGPT doesn't know what the fuck it's talking about, though. It doesn't understand its own words.

>>719690778
I think it's Harry Potter Hogwarts Mystery, a mobile game that was spammed on /v/ constantly a few years ago.

>>719687158 (OP)
The Witcher 3

>>719690947
It sounds plausible that monkeys that sit all day getting peanut handouts from humans, would be seen as losers by other monkeys who can swing on trees and to aerial tricks and shit, though.

>>719691006
wow sad owl

>>719687158 (OP)
Rimworld
I hated wrangling the retards around to do shit, as they threw tantrums and slacked off and whined about everything and got into full-blown fistfights with each other for no fucking reason
Adult babysitting simulator

>any game where the following applies: open world / survival / crafting / loot
>[hit indie darling game from the past 15 years] except for Dust: An Elysian Tail, that one was actually good

>>719687852
There's a speak-easy whisky bar in my city where all the drinks used to be Dark Souls themed but new management took over and they're now all named after celebrities

>>719691229
Just gonna keep dumping their old menu cos it makes me sad/mad that it's gone.

>>719691353
by contrast

>>719687759
well, the monkey didn't try it

>>719691468
>can't even spell decadent
lmao, fuck that new owner sideways

>>719691229
>>719691274
>>719691353
>>719691468
yeah that's cool. can I just get a Coors lite though?

godhand by far
pure /v/ contrarianism in effect, unless you somehow got nostalgia for the game (doubt it), most "fans" never played it
game was dogshit amateur slop and aged like fucking milk, the extremely japanese humour is embarassing

>>719690498
This anon goes to the bar and asks to have a negro.

>>719691659
>"Sure, but what're you drinking?"

>>719687158 (OP)
Expedition 33.

>>719691626
decedent is a word however

>>719691649
go to bed, Chris

>>719687272
>torture
yeah, making him overweight is a torture

>>719687158 (OP)
I had that exact reaction I had when hitting it off after drinking one night and I licked the bottom of a sweaty tit of a chubby girl while she was on top of me

>>719691890
not "decedant" though

>>719690529
they're all bad

>>719691642
>American "beer"

eurgh

>>719692547
/v/ has worse taste

>>719687158 (OP)
Off. The single positive thing I have to say about it is that the elemental system being shit like meat and plastic was a funny spin. Everything else sucked.

>>719687623
>It's just like you're playing GU again!!
I did not like GU because of arts. I know it can be played with only guild style but even then I can't get into it. I even liked Frontier styles but GU just doesn't click, same with Rise. I had some hope for the future of MH after World despite its many flaws, wilds took a fat shit all over it

>>719691642
>the "best" alcohol is just lemonade
Also, man do I love video games.

>>719691042
>sounds plausible
yeah that's at best what it does

>>719690218
This but unironacally
>DUDE IT HAS SUCH DEEP LORE

The lore in question
>EVERYONE WAS HAPPY
>THEN THE BIG BAD HAPPENED
>NOW EVERYTHING IS BAD
>YOU ARE A NAMELESS BUG WHO NEEDS THE 3 MCGUFFINS TO DEFEAT THE BAD BUT EVERYTHING WILL STILL BE BAD
Some retard played dark soul and thought "damn I gotta copy that"

Ocarina of Time
Witcher 3
Goldeneye
Perfect Dark
Smash Bros Melee
Sonic Adventure 1 and 2
Modern Warfare 2 (though it was fun to grief 10yo's for a while)
ICO
Paper Mario

>>719687158 (OP)
Century Eggs are fucking awful

>>719687158 (OP)
Journey. Games should have fail states.

>>719689882
>and has cool shit in it that TES wouldn't get until Oblivion
*would never get
>doesn't have 1/4 the content of Morrowind
*doesn't have copy pasted fetch quests

>>719687158 (OP)
Xenobalde 2. It was a terrible game

>>719687772
The fact that you can no longer drop weapons, but MUST throw them makes 2 worse by default.

>>719693449
>Didn't like gu
What a shame, i think is the best mh ever

>>719688090
what kind of game do you want to play anon, i play a lot of demos during next fest whenever its online

>>719693074
that's kind of what i'm alluding to, yeah

Any fallout game
Nier automata

>>719687158 (OP)
Dragon's Dogma

>>719690529
>Sekiro
>hack and slash
>gachashit better than anything
Kek. Nice bait

>>719690756
>>I asked ChatGOT and it confirm that these fat park monkeys are essentially seen as the Incel NEETs of their world.
Why would you do that? Why would you share that?

>>719687759
Most animals (or none of them?) won't eat things that smell bad to them. Humans can ignore a bad smell thanks to our higher intelligence that tells us the smell isn't actually signalling anything harmful.

>>719687158 (OP)
If you are on this forum and you shill Digital Devil Saga you will burn in hell, that game was fucking dogshit, I played that shit until halfway through the second game hoping it'd get better and it never did, fuck Digital Devil Saga

>>719692113
it's funny because neither word would remotely make any sense
I think it's actual retardation

Kingdom hearrs is the gayest shit i have ever seen and i feel fully vindicated bullying 2 kids in 5th grade for liking it

>>719687190
Fpbp

>>719687190
fpbp

>>719687258
This

>>719687158 (OP)
I've seen people say Yooka-Laylee and The Impossible Lair is good a few times on /v/, which I find baffling because I found it to be an unpolished dull piece of shit.

>>719687158 (OP)
>Elden shit
There's even an item called "gold tinged excrement" as if the devs trying to tell you something about the game.

>>719688291
ya sound like ya seethin

>>719687158 (OP)
Elin

>>719690261
It's a Nord with the barbarian preset class at lvl 1, took the steed for a speed bonus and favored strength and agility as his favored attributes. He's using the iron shortsword which isn't supported by his race or class, he could maybe land some hits if he held the attack for longer which increases damage and chance to hit, but he's a moronic spaz who cant resist the idea of spamming attacks.

Morrowind is a thinking mans game and I'm glad so many people dislike it, its a wonderful litmus test for finding out who isn't willing to think critically.

>>719687190
first post bait post

>>719687258
Now this is actually a good post. All Nintenbro is extremely overrated, but SM64 is probably the worst offender.

>>719697028
They filtered "Ninten-shit" to Nintenbro. Holy kek this board is a joke.

>>719687852
>Not drinking vodka/espresso martinis
What a FAGGOT

>>719687158 (OP)
Black Flag

>>719694874
Overrated frontier lite trash, 4U will always be the best Monster Hunter and it's clear from how it's shadow still hovers over every single new MH game

>>719697297
You're confusing GU for world there.

>>719697297
>its shadow still hovers over every single new MH game
Yeah because it introduced garbage like mounting, ledges and story beyond village is threatened go kill x, all of which have been plaguing monhun since then.

>>719697441
>and story beyond village is threatened go kill x
You haven't played 4U, have you.

>>719687810
1996, muh year of birth - so no, fuck off, the game is garbage. In my much younger youth, I played it with my older brother who was more into it, and even then, my very impressionable mind was saying "this game kinda blows"

>>719697648
Don't act as if you didn't understand what I meant. While it wasn't abysmal dogshit like world and wilds, it started the trend. Story in monhun should never have left its containement skippable dialogue. I liked 4U but as I said it introduced stuff that crapcom has doubled down on. Also fuck ledges and slopes.

>>719687258
Fucking THIS

>>719688906
>Persona 5

>>719693490
>visited family in Florida
>there was a bodega down the block that sold 40s of Smirnoff Ice
Closest I've ever gotten to actual alcoholism. If I ever end up down there I'm succumbing and I don't care.

>>719697914
>it started the trend.
>you're the new caravan hunter
>hunt until mysterious monster fucking shit up appears
>mysterious monster is actually an elder dragon
>day is saved after you hunt it

Now how is this any different to
>you're the new village hunter
>monster is terrorising village
>you hunt it and the day is saved

As much as you want to whine and cry about it the story isn't any different to previous MH games.

>>719687623
They were right. You're the fake fan who started with World.

Not a single soul will defend this game.

>>719687623
This but also for MHWorld

>>719687158 (OP)
Dragons Ligma
Dragon Quest XI
Every Yakuza game
Halo

>>719698086
>4U
>characters start getting fleshed out
>(You) appear directly in cutscenes from that game on
>personnal beef with gore/shagaru
Still on the acceptable side of things. I don't remember disliking the rusted kush part, probably because I didn't have to listen to some ugly character I give no shit about for hours beforehand
>world
>handler shoved down your throat at every occasions
>unskippable cutscenes that wouldn't be a problem if there weren't so many of them
>the fucking handler
>voice acting in different languages which is budget that could've been used elsewhere like the fucking BONED weapons
>forced tracks sniffing to progress
>wilds
>annoying jeet faggot
>your new handler alma that is now following (You) everywhere
>unskippable cutscenes replaced by unskippable walk and talk on rail segments
>monhun language removed due to cutscenes
>even palico is voiced now
Totally the same kind of story now, not a chore or invasive at all.

>>719698309
never played it, but it's just another licensed-property lego game, isn't it? how bad could it be compared to any of the other ones?

>>719698684
OHHHH here comes the cope posters lmao

>>719698968
How did they get dash right but everyone else has black joint cocks?

>>719698968
i just said i never played it. do you dislike it just because the models are kinda ugly? i was kinda hoping to get a tirade on what exactly went wrong with it and not just you being a schizo autist.

>>719699024
EXACTLY.
>>719699113
You just don't get it.

>>719687158 (OP)
Any and every Souls game.

>>719695763
/thread
Can't believe it took so long for someone to bring it up

>>719699120
then help me get it, motherfucker. use your words like a big boy instead of being an obtuse dickhead.
is it JUST because of the ugly models? does it fuck up somehow compared to other lego [property] games? was it just your first lego [property] game and you just don't like the style in general and decided to make it a grudge against this one in particular?
i'm here to see breakdowns of why games are dogshit, not petty autism.

>>719690383
you need to be white to enjoy exploration games

>>719699252
No idea why you're coping so hard

>>719687158 (OP)
unmodded stalker

>>719687158 (OP)
The only major Nintendo franchise games I think are good are early Pokemon, DK Country trilogy, Yoshi's Island for the SNES, Mario Kart, Splatoon, and Smash Bros.
Zelda, mainline Mario etc. are just objectively not fun as an adult or simply don't hold up. Like DK Country/Yoshi's Island are old as shit yet are genuinely fun video games to sit down and play the entire thing as an adult.

>>719687158 (OP)
helldivers
such a shit game

>>719687772
HM2 crawled up its own ass and tried to "make something" overt with its writing.
Suddenly focused on minutiae of who did what, introducing a mega cast of different characters and being really determined to make a point. It was trying way too hard to be shocking and important.

Hotline Miami, the first one, was different though. It was more barebones but the narrative structure worked better. You had one character to focus on. Small vignettes of getting food, or whatever, in between fights.

The gameplay told the story. It was superior in storytelling for this reason. Even though it lacked the raw numbers of lines, the production values etc of 2.

>>719699269
motherfucker I'M NOT COPING ABOUT SHIT I JUST WANT YOU TO EXPLAIN WHY YOU HATE THIS GAME. I AM DYING TO KNOW.
I HAVEN'T EVEN HEARD OF THIS GAME UNTIL NOW. PLEASE JUST TELL ME.

>>719699469
Why, Knight of Cope, do you care?

>>719690498
have two

>>719687190
They hated him for he spoke the truth.

>>719699509
i just want to know how they could possibly fuck up one of these lego games hard enough for you to hate it this much, considering you seem to be singling this one out for some reason as opposed to just gesturing to all of them in general considering they're all nearly identical.
though with the way you've been doing this stupid fucking "lol cope! coping! you're coping!" you're either baiting me masterfully or you don't have any real reason to hate this game other than sheer autism, but i'd love to be proven wrong.
if you hit me with another "lol okay copelord" i am leaving this thread and just considering this as me having been baited.