>>82290858
My brain has deteriorated the last two years from near-constant social isolation, I got forced into the NEET life and I'm surrounded by enablers that resist every effort I make to pull myself out of it because they want me to stay with them for some reason. When I was around other people, I could tell that I came across as upright and robotic because I had to keep a distant and aloof connection with everyone to avoid saying retarded shit. I used to be much more eager to share knowledge of things I was passionate about as a kid but as I got older I became aware of how bored and disinterested people would get whenever I would start talking about it so I ended up repressing that side of myself to the point that it feels strained and awkward to do now. I have a bad habit of oversharing and saying retarded shit that I feel ashamed of later when I get too comfortable around people. Part of me feels as if I could've had much better odds if I was confident instead since I wasn't that bad at reading the room otherwise.
