How did some of you anons change your worldview when it was shattered and you've accepted or are open to a realization but still don't know what to do about it?

>be me
>lost soul blackpilled too much no grounded principles or the ones I have are not good enough
>I need to find a tribe to align with and be comfortable working with to survive
>don't like people on a fundamental level and am scared of them.
>want to be alone yet crave the attention or acceptance at the same time.

What do desu? I've been kinda going through that lately and how I might know or think or believe that is because I am in a better mood regularly. If I can find enjoyment in things still then there must be a correct way to operate or cope even with my own disabilities or retardation.

>Fundamentally change your operating principles for life that you always held.
Honestly until only very recently am I struggling with it and I think about it all the time I just maybe wasn't introspective enough or I like to think that I was or am. I've based my whole identify around being introverted, indifferent, reasonable, and compromise and why I am better off that way or better than others only now I am maybe recognizing the root of it and the good AND bad of it. I've been being less blackpilled but only a little but my mood has honestly improved a bit I think or I do feel a little better. That's gotta mean something I hope.

>>82890113
>5"9
>skinny fat 165lbs
>mixed but mostly white
>NEET
>alcoholic
>Somewhat mentally ill but self aware enough to recognize problems just not make solutions
I am not trying to get with you but I want your honest opinion based on these factors. If we had the same interests would you really fuck or date a freak like me? Women just do have it easier I think and I don't say that with malice it's more of just an it is what it is thing. I'm not sex obsessed either but I can't even take care of myself but an intimate relationship would also be nice.

>Normie friends basically cut me out of there lives slowly over the past 3 years.
It's mainly because I'm just a loser alcoholic NEET but we've never even really fought so I don't understand why they don't care about me anymore and so easily too. I just am maybe meant to be alone and I prefer it but it does hurt when I don't want to be sometimes and can't.

Any anons feel the tides have shifted? I don't wanna get into some religious debate I don't even follow that stuff but I do align more with Christianity or Catholicism because I was raised that way. After Charlie Kirk (who I didn't really watch) I almost feel at peace. I'm not as angry anymore. I feel like I just know who my enemies are and can laugh at them because they are evil.

Any anons feel or are in the position to be just observers? I've just been a NEET the past 6 years so I can but I can't really "be myself" around most humans and would rather avoid but watch them. The only time I can is on here making stupid posts like this. Surprisingly I've recently been in a good mood and I'm not sure why but I'm scared because I'm so extremely neurotic and I can be happy and literally wanting to die the next second.