>>40694045
Tbh the only reason I opened up at all was because I was annoyed with people treating me like some kind of souless automoton who is incapable of having full emotions, when its just I manage them very well.
I view feelings in the way I do because I grew up in a world where anything could and would be used against you, even small things you said in private could be dragged up years later for a screaming match that someone else started.
Add on to that the vast majority of violence inflicted on me being of a sexual nature as an AMAB and having such a repped out family and you get a pretty interesting cocktail of trauma where there is no safe place to go whatsoever, where even your therapist is a conversion therapist who will fuck you over if you open up even the slightest.
Emotional displays are for people who still believe they will get any help whatsoever, otherwise whats the point? All it does is show off your cards, air your dirty laundry, and give people ways to hurt you.