>>714692575
Alright, I'll give it a try. I tried to do something like this months and months ago when my whole faith search began, but didn't 'feel' much. I'm autistic and genuinely feel that part of what keeps me from having a lot of faith is that I generally can't think in these big abstracts with religion since, again, I know so much about shit that it makes me go, "Well, I'd like to believe this, but I know this is true instead."
> you clearly have something that stops you from being able to fully dive into it
I think I've locked in that I'd like to believe, but can't because I feel like a degenerate and shut-in, so my self-esteem makes me think that God wouldn't like me. I know that can't be true because it's just how God works, but my self-esteem says that it must be the case.