>>212250083
>I don't know how to talk to others and I'm afraid of it.
Understandable. I suffer the same fate so I don't have any frens irl.
>I lack the motivation to do anything meaningful and "good for me".
You can force yourself to build a habit of doing meaningful things. You can just start barely doing anything at all and only spend 10 minutes a day doing those things. Then a week later increase that amount to 20, then 30, than an hour, two hours, three hours, you get the idea. I lack motivation, but self hatred makes me somewhat disciplined.