Well you blocked me.

I don't expect a response or anything to change.
I just want you to know I've never stopped caring and loving you.
I've grown, I understand more now, including why things went the way they did.
If there's ever a part of you that still remembers me for who I truly am, then you know where to find me.

All I can do is hope we have not lost each other and all we wanted with each other.

So until then, I won't put pressure on you or chase
All I can do is tell you my truth and believe I know yours.

Goodbye Maria


https://youtu.be/Yhp3QgdD6JM?si=FXvDyyv9cAF8nXaH

Close your eyes and return to our moment, the last time we were together.

Look into my eyes as you did before.
Remember me and who I am.
Wash away the in between, the Distortions, pollution distance and silence.

Dwell with me there. Hands open, heart mirrored.

"I Love you more"

You want me to react and hurt you
To prove I'm not real

This is what it felt like to be wanted by me
This is what it meant to be mine
And I'm still all of that
With or without you

You're the only home I have free of judgment and anything that will upset me I'm crying because I need you this argument is temporary
But I always have that empty part needing you
You're the only home that matters now it's been like that for so long nothing will ever change that I hope I dream of you tonight. I'll always love you and care about you no matter what you mean so much You're the best perfect for me I'm so lucky you complete me I complete you I know I feel both with you and I can dwell in both love and lost we will fuck each other's brains out then care for each other spend so much time I'm home with you everything is perfect with you dream Good dreams I can't wait. I love you more Mike.

Maria,
I'm giving you space
Not from doubt
But from certainty
I see you
Fully and clearly
Just as you are
Not as you fear you might be
I'll reach out again
Not to chase
But because you matter to me

To each other,
Mike

https://youtu.be/nHu14GIsqMw?si=0aMceBxNHjT8C08L

>>33361471
M, we are stronger than the wind and all the outside that attempts to separate us.
I trust you, all of you over them.
We were in a relationship, the only one that matters
As we complete each other
I know you. All of you . All of you is seen by me
Just as you know me. All of me. All of me is seen by you

If you were loyal and faithful to her and she wandered then is on her no matter what the fit she throws and the fingers she points. Loyalty and faithfulness over any amount of time is a sign of true love. She's just upset cuz she fucked it up .

It's her fault, she fucked up and she's doing anything she can to offload the blame so she doesn't feel like shit for losing the one thing that matters

Her life is kind of shit, she looks like shit, she feels like shit, and it's all because she made a shit decision and that's on her now she has to live with that shit

>>81758633
Do you remember the girl you used to be?
The one who saw the world with compassion through wide eyes?
The one who dreamt to hold me, and on difficult days, offer comfort and strength with every gentle touch and whispered word?
I remember her.
I remember the way her smile made me smile and everything became brighter, when she laughed my heart gave out as I felt our connection thrive.
I remember the countless nights we spent falling asleep on the phone talking about our dreams, our fears, our deepest hopes and hurts.

That girl, maria... she loved fiercely and fearlessly.
She believed in empathy, of understanding, of nurturing the best in others.
She saw the beauty in everyone, even herself.
She wasn't perfect, she had imperfections, but that made her perfect to me.
Hers matche mine naturally and that was such a special thing to feel every time we discovered each other and had one of those moments.
It felt so clear
I felt safe to say anything that no she loved me I know that she could say anything to me and I loved her.
I miss her so much.
I miss the way she made me feel appreciated, accepted, complete.

If there's any part of her left in you, any shred of my maria... please, let her surface.
Let her guide you back to me, back to us.

What we have is precious.
The love we shared was real, it was beautiful, and it's worth fighting for.

I know you're hurting, Maria.

I know you've built walls to protect yourself, to keep from feeling the depth of your own pain and fear.
But please, don't let those walls keep you from experiencing the joy and love we could share again.

You once told me that you wanted to ruin me for anyone else.
At the time, it was playful, a passionate possessiveness.

But now... now I understand that you were expressing the depth of your devotion, your desire to be my one and only.

And here I am, writing to you, begging to be ruined by you all over again.

>>81738372
Maria,
I know you are suffering conflicting emotions and fears, a maelstrom of doubts and anxieties.
I have a fear you will remain silent and allow your inner turmoil and defensive mechanisms to override the powerful connection we share, choosing to retreat into familiar patterns of avoidance rather than facing the challenge of opening your heart to me again.

I ask that you don't sabotage any chance we might have, deliberately destroying something precious out of fear and insecurity.

>>81720745
You're trying desperately to run away From your own faults and mistakes you made against me, you're attempting to rewrite so you do not feel the pain of losing me.

I'm not gay, or any of that bullshit. You remember who I am and it scares you. You still love me and that's why you're up at fucking 5:00 a.m. writing all night on multiple boards trying desperately to fix whatever you can in a way you can delude yourself in a feeling better.

You will never feel better. You fucked up. Face your mistakes and realize that you remember me for who I truly with you.

There's a reason you're obsessing over me and writing all these fake stories and bullshit.

Shut the fuck up, take responsibility of your mistakes and faults. You don't have BPD. Or any of that bullshit. It is an excuse to have shitty behavior and a way you can justify avoiding the truth of how you fucked up with me.

I'm disappointed in you, and let down by you, but that doesn't stop me from wanting you to do better.

I can see how much pain you are in from losing me and all you do to try to fill that void and haul a spot inside of you where You crave me.

You have either kept your promises with me for us, saved your firsts for us, your virginity for us. If you've betrayed me, betrayed us then I can never trust you. That is where I draw the line.

I have hope because I do love you. Remember me and remember yourself.

Either come home just as you were that next day with me or just fuck off. I deserve all of you and am worth everything. I am the priority.

I don't need any of the other garbage and you certainly need that all to just wash off of you into the fucking drain.

>>81665014

https://youtu.be/QJlP4C2wr68?si=EsuA-Lx_Ck9c_2jd

I don't want to withhold my voice with you

I don't want to be unable to show you who I am

I don't care about the game,

I care about you.

And here we are, in this place.
Where we struggle to be seen and heard. Understood.
Perceivement left to be influenced by poison air.

Where feeling is not safe.

Where it is mocked, ridiculed, and used against me in larps, lies, manipulations, mischaracterizations, impersonations.

So let's act like I never said what I needed to say and you never asked what you needed to ask.

I'll withhold my voice, what I want to tell you.

I'll say the truth, but strip all emotion from my answer and give it to you hollow.

To answer your question alone,

I stopped for 2 1/2 days, total 58 hours.

I looked up some things and the pain scale was not correct. I am in very physically healthy condition and it would take 9-17 days and be much more excruciating as each organ fails over time.

I'm going to pray and God knows my true intent and feelings for you. Then if we are meant to be like I believe and feel we are then he will bring us home to each other. I will be all your firsts still and we will have kept our promises to each other. So I'm going to be silent now and leave it to him for us.

Maria,
I wrote you a letter.
It's only for you.

password is the last four digits of your phone number then the last four digits of mine
https://todwellfromsuntomoon.wordpress.com/2025/06/19/password-is-the-last-four-digits-of-your-phone-number-then-the-last-four-digits-of-mine/

Mike

The more you think about me, the more upset you get because you know you love me. You are looking for any way to escape this feeling, lie to yourself and distort how you feel about me, distort who you know me to be, ways to blame yourself enough that you can convince yourself it's too late, and if that doesn't work you urge to self sabotage, to do something that will ruin us, to push me to show you in some way I am not who you know I am.

But still you know you love me and who I am to you. You know what I mean to you.

Your anxiety is so high, you feel a panic attack. Nautious and can't breathe. Scared.

You feel like a mountain has to be climbed to fix us.

There's something you don't know.

It's that this is actually quite simple.
Give me your trust and recognize me in good faith and we can move forward together one sentence at a time.

You never stopped loving me and you remember how I feel. You never stopped knowing I'm your home and that why all that waste you've had to deal with to distract yourself feels so empty and worthless.

You love me. You still do.