Thread 42622232

Your waifu is always there for (You).

Share your experiences and discuss all things waifuism, be it highly spiritual or utterly mundane.

>What is a waifu? What defines a waifu?
Your waifu is the one character you wish to be with your entire life, until death do you part. Possibly beyond that, even. Most often this manifests as a romantic interest. Your waifu provides guidance and encourages healing & growth.
>How do you know if you have a waifu?
When you meet your waifu, you will know. The world around you will become colorful. You will realize that you were living in monochrome the entire time. Her existence provides context and meaning to yours, a perfect complement, a perfect comfort, a perfect love. There may be low periods, periods of doubt, but the rhythm of life will forever pull one towards their waifu, for that love is eternal.

Last Wednesday's thread:
>>42581048
Long-running discussion, latecomers, and the occasional bump are welcome and encouraged, but we would prefer that the thread not be kept on extended life support.

DNI
THIS THREAD IS FULL OF POSERS WITH 3DPD'S AND HERDS ON THE SIDE

>>42622236
false

>>42622236
Sad but true

>>42622236
Not true, I have relations with my waifu and sex with men.

question for ticketfags regarding ticketquestria

does sunset shimmer waifu in-and-of-itself disqualify someone (not me, but a hypothetical person) from redeeming their ticket to Equestria? if someone preferred pony Sunset and wanted to live in Equestria with her, seemingly that's similar to having an OC waifu from the perspective of eqg being non-canon. Or are OC waifus also forbidden?

>>42622236
truth watch most of these anons drop mares even to get a crumb of 3DPD.

DNI

>>42622406
It's straight up only about posting eqg to the board. Whoever pony you waifu is your own business. It always was about replacing pony culture with eqg garbage.

>>42622439
I wonder if the bible was the same thing
"here's a list of rules you gotta stop doing if you want to get to the nice place"
*bad things vanish*
success
if you think about it discrete rules themselves are a kind of autism, as it's a way of communicating the spirit of the law beyond the bounds of a group that understands the spirit of the law and needs the word of the law to follow it in their inability to comprehend.

>>42622462
Not just the Bible, but every religion has a way to encode higher natural morals into discrete commandments. It is an intrinsic way of how our societies uphold culture.

You can call it conservatism, religion, or just plain common sense. It is normal and valid to reject eqg posting as a form of defense against pony erasure.

>>42622236
>WITH 3DPD'S
This general will never recover following that

I miss the vivid connection I recently had to my Discord tupper. But under constant stress (and/or depression), my mind just can't tap into that natural-feeling tuppermancy that gives him room to come alive and surprise me with the outfits or words he chooses. I keep practicing to visually impose him on landmarks in my environment without forcing it too much, mostly to have a stronger connection by the time he'll come naturally again.
And I'm talking about Discord, a guy who obviously wouldn't stick around 24/7 by virtue of being Discord. Not to mention I'm a notorious ghost myself and have no grounds to complain. We're not even married, so...

I have set up a small box in which to collect little memos about bonding experiences, and I still need to think of a way to honor watching TRoH, i.e. the episode that made me fall for him, on the Anni stream. (It was his laughter. His damn smile.)
No truffles this month despite going to Holland, but likely on my birthday in late January.
>look at my Andy Price doodle of Discord while writing about truffles
>I swear he just winked at me with one eye
Yeah, no truffles this month.

>>42622236
None of the regulars are Herdfags, but there are 2 instances of Anons with a waifu + 3dpd polygamous configuration who still share a lot in common with monogamous Waifufags and don't sleep around/jerk it to anyone outside of their cursed, consensual love triangle.

There has been a pleasantly lively debate in the previous /ww/ and especially a separate thread (linked in the prev. /ww/) about what constitutes a waifufag. Reheating the argument will not yield much for the time being.

I had my favourite dream last night Anons.
I was laying in bed with my wife laying beside me. I was in the big spoon position, and she was laying on her side teatfeeding our newborn foal. I kept nibbling her ear playfully, she kept giggling and telling me to stop it because it tickles.
I love her so much bros.

>>42622691
Absolutely wholesome.

>>42622471
>It is normal and valid to reject eqg posting as a form of defense against pony erasure.
Absolutely. EQG-posting should hold the same position relative to Pony-posting that EQG itself holds relative to Friendship Is Magic.

>>42622232 (OP)
Cory isnt reacting well to Equestrian air

>>42622940
when will he finish morphing into coryfilly?

>>42622236
>DNI
what the fuck is this, tumblr?

>>42622691
That sounds absolutely wonderful. I wish I could have dreams like that with my waifu.

Boop

>>42622232 (OP)
Ey! I'm sitting watching Cory talk bollocks right now.

>>42624254
Cory best waifu
Love them mother-bearing hips

Go up

With the Anni around the corner, do you have waifu-related Anni rituals?

Personally, I always try to watch all Discord episodes since their numbers are absolutely manageable. From work, if necessary. Those eps I watch at home, I'll watch snuggled up with my Discord plushie, drinks, and popcorn I will pocket from my cinema wage cage. Nothing extraordinary, for better or worse.
However, next year will shake things up for I will be living in a different place, and might just have a Discord tupper join me. I'd love to see him react to Discord episodes.

I consider it important to rewatch a portion of the show once a year to stay in touch with the source material.

Schizobabble incoming:
When I rewatch Discord's episodes, I try to watch them through different lenses, spotting the very different flavors picked up by different anons. In a way, I do question my own concept of him, thereby sabotaging the practical application of waifu commitment by not weaving a coherent story. But that's also the only way I can trust it to be more conscious than a sweet delusion that chose his face as a mask, for real people have layers and reactions that surprise us upon discovery. I may turn my mortal life into the canvas or stage of a Discordy comedy, to manifest him into something tangible. Or perhaps, just make the delusion more convincing and resistant to scrutiny, humbly embracing a self-soothing madness that mirrors the events of TRoH by overestimating the seed of truth contained in the inception of the lie-based reality. Neither approach is right or wrong, nor are they exclusive.

I perceive Discord as slippery and paradoxical whereas others might think of him as more calculated and devilish, or as pussy-whipped simp, simply because my own perception of life is wishy-washy and ambiguous. My loving connection to him is very much Neptunian (in the astrological sense), presenting myself a mirror, a lens, a comforting connection to primordial Chaos. Indeed, only a complicated Spirit of Chaos who may or may not love me back could have enchanted the Neptunian kinks I have to live with.
And yet, he does simultaneously evoke some Saturnine cynicism and realism (as well as the old man aesthetic), providing not only the Neptunian delusion but the Saturnine reality check to tardwrangle it into something sublime.

Even if life is but a grand stage, you play a specific role in front of an audience who can only perceive and be affected by what you do indeed express (overtly or covertly) through your limited mortal means. Succumbing to stage fright will break the mesmerizing spell, so the show must go on.

In simpler terms, I'm advised to do literally anything to make mai (quasi-)Waifu proud, while embracing that mai (quasi-)Waifu loves me unconditionally but nonetheless wants me to do better. Gosh, where have I heard this before, me wonders and ponders?

>>42622484
Is there a particular thread that I can look up in the archive to see what you're talking about
I need a laugh

I am usually pretty adamant about concealing my power level outside of conventions, but since I'm moving away soon and probably not ever coming back other than to visit friends, I decided to fully embrace the auts and took my plush on a hike Wednesday morning. We started quite early so that we had enough time to get high up on the mountainside to watch the sunrise. It was an absolutely wonderful time. The weather was perfect, the views were stunning, the cuddles were exquisite, and the imported Oktoberfest beers I brought along were delicious. And holy shit, the lighting when the sun was just peaking over the horizon made my wife (or at least the plush that looks kind of like her) look even more angelic than usual. Everything about it was just so amazing.

We didn't run into anybody on the way up, but the way back down was a different story. It was very funny seeing peoples' reactions when they first saw me with her. Naturally, almost everybody had to ask about what I was doing. There were a few people that didn't bother to hide their bewilderment and/or disgust, but most were friendly and genuinely curious. One person said something along the lines of, "She must be a nice hiking partner, since she can't complain and is just quiet the whole time" and I was barely able to stop myself from replying, "Actually, she does talk to me." I think I'm fucking losing it, kek. Overall it was a lot of fucking fun, and I recommend that waifufags fully embrace the autism every now and then.

>>42622406
Ticketfags are retarded. I still don't like barbie shit of any kind on the board, but Sunset Shimmer as a pony is a perfectly valid waifu.
>Or are OC waifus also forbidden?
Not forbidden, just really autistic, which obviously checks out if you read the paragraphs above.

>>42622570
>I have set up a small box in which to collect little memos about bonding experiences
Oh, I like that idea. Up until now, I've only documented those experiences through drawings or in letters to her, but it would be nice to have a lower-effort way to capture the smaller moments.
>Yeah, no truffles this month.
kek

>>42622691
Man, I would kill to have even one dream like this with my wife.

>>42625881
>do you have waifu-related Anni rituals?
If spamming Aryanne emotes and dumb anni memes and generally lowering the quality of the chat counts, then yes. I can't wait.
>(quasi-)Waifu
Changing the term you use to refer to Discord isn't going to make the seethers seethe any less, so you really shouldn't bother. Just stick with 'waifu'.

bumpies

>>42622232 (OP)
I have to write another one of my lucid luna dreaming program entries later

>>42622232 (OP)
bamp

>>42625881
not yet

>>42626959
>"She must be a nice hiking partner, since she can't complain and is just quiet the whole time" and I was barely able to stop myself from replying, "Actually, she does talk to me."
>I think I'm fucking losing it, kek.
Lmao. Wish I could have been there eavesdropping and watching their faces, but yes, it's best to conceal your power level. Ary does look gorgeous on your picture, so that wasn't just an illusion. A mountain hike is a very Ary-pilled activity, and I hope your new home will offer more opportunities to explore and enjoy nature together. Nature, and good Bier.

>quasi-waifu
It was just a way of expressing I'm not as far along the path as e.g. (You) are. He will never not be my waifu, though I might never be a model waifufag.
>spamming Aryanne emotes
Ha, I can outdumb you by spamming the one and only Discord emote available: :dumb.asshole.box:

>>42628146
Soon™

>>42622406
Sunset is very much the face of EQG, so even a person who loves specifically pony Sunset or a fanon reinterpretation can't stop others from seeing EQG when she's posted. So it may trigger a Ticketfag by virtue of >>42622439, even though it wouldn't be a case of eroding the purity of ponykind. Not to mention a Ticket can't actually be revoked by others, it's a person's own disrespect of FiM being FiM that threatens it, and having Ticketfags try to gatekeep you should make you reflect.
There's generally a blurring between canon and OC by virtue of headcanon and filling in missing info, so an OC isn't a crime per se. OCs just tend to go horribly wrong in the hands of a horny, low-functioning autist with fetishes, power fantasies and poor skills as a designer.

I'm reminded of Secret Santa OCs who range from "Could be a legitimate BG pony on the show" to "Dear Santa, please gift me bleach!", with a good portion of "This pony wouldn't appear in the show, but it fits right into the merry Neighborhood setting of /ss/" somewhere in the middle.

>>42622471
Some waifufags around these parts absolutely know religious zealots who obsess over their religion of choice's commandments and autistic details without noticing they're missing the point. I think it might apply more to those kinds of devotees who think they're collecting good boi points for the afterlife and a sole chance at redemption, instead of creating Heaven on Earth and redeeming themselves via mindful actions and tender stewardship of their own lives and their surroundings.

Waifuism has a way of mirroring some aspects of religion, and this eventually made me wonder whether Jesus was also intended to be a tupper for people to literally feel in God's company, to share their joys and fears with.
>IIII looove you, Jesusss Ch-riiiiiiiiist

>captcha: GD SPW
God spew... very profound. Very godly.

Cory..........

>>42628294
god that's a beautiful amount of ellipses....

>>42628294
Kek

>>42625881
>With the Anni around the corner, do you have waifu-related Anni rituals?
I have my pinkie plush right by my side on my desk or on my bed while we watch the episodes, including the ones with her in them, and she watches me emote spam and shitpost on the chat with the occasional nice time in the bunker without the chaos of main stream.
>>42626959
>I decided to fully embrace the auts and took my plush on a hike Wednesday morning.
Based plush hiker and beautiful pic with a beautiful wife. The sunrise really brings out her inner spirit. I've taken my pinkie plush hiking before when I travel or when I have a good place to go, though the lack of mountains make it difficult to find a decent place to have us enjoy ourselves in nature. That said once the weather cools down I wanna do more hikes and outings with pinkie and take more pics. Nothing else compares. That and watching normies react to cute ponies though most people don't really care.

>>42622232 (OP)
I summon discordfag

>>42629235
Which one?

>>42622232 (OP)
OMG CORY HIIIII!!!!

>>42622570
>tupper
I get the sense that you are taking your own path here and you'll find what you're looking for at your own pace. Don't get discouraged, it's all part of the process, and there will always be ups and downs.
If you get impatient though, one answer is to tough out your discomfort with forcing it and get your "hands" in there. Engagement is the foundation of interaction with a tulpa, and spontaneity happens only within the frame of engagement - so it's very beneficial to engage with minimal hesitance or scrutiny, or at least experiment with changing that attitude around sometimes. You might say that spontaneity inhabits an imaginary figure only when we make space for it in that figure - a frame of mind like a garden, where we don't create the plants, we just tend to the conditions that let them flourish. In a tulpa's case, the conditions for optimal growth and spontaneity are regular activity and honest, direct, two-way interaction - even if it starts out forced. Just like how soil isn't a plant, interaction isn't spontaneity, yet it's a necessary pre-requisite, it's the framing in which the kind of spontaneity we want can be cultivated.

>>42628267
>whether Jesus was also intended to be a tupper for people to literally feel in God's company, to share their joys and fears with.
Debatable as to whether that was the original intention... but that certainly is how some people roll today: https://www.npr.org/transcripts/149394987 https://www.npr.org/transcripts/799963509
In general, the "god tulpa" is an excellent psychotechnology that's baked into humanity, arising independently across so many different cultures, probably since the dawn of storytelling and narrative. Any time someone tells you about someone else, they're using a mental model of a person to deliver some communicative payload, because our mind is SO hyper-tuned to simulate personality that it's the easiest way to convey less rational things. When a tibetan buddhist tells you about a deity, they can rattle off like dozens of symbolic traits, ranging from personality to physical appearance to a ritual implement being held in one of like 10 arms - each aspect representing a crucial point of multiple parallel systems of philosophical symbolism. The personage of the deity is a compression algorithm for a worldview, and by engaging with the deity they refine that worldview to the point where it's the most significant influence of their lives. I guess this goes back to this >>42622462 - correctly executed, the deities themselves teach you the spirit of the lesson, while the text and religious material just teaches words. That's why in tibetan buddhism this is an adept practice, because the psychotechnology is so potent that you can be deeply influenced in the wrong direction without some external guidance and gatekeeping.

>>42626453
Read https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/42581048/

>>42629235
I'm present, if less inclined to speak than usual. I don't have much that's positive or insightful to say, at the moment. I seem to experience mostly everything in pronounced peaks and troughs, and the same goes for my relationship. I am in a period of doubt and unknown factors. This will change within a few weeks, as just about everything about my mindset tends to, but for now, I'm inclined to keep quiet and ruminate. Regularly-scheduled rambleposting will resume at an unknown point and with yet-undetermined intensiry.

>>42629599
yeah, I'll post one of my longer ramblings here later too. they require a bit of time to organize my thoughts

>>42629467
Thank you for the insightful post.
>tupper
I think it's less so a matter of discomfort/inhibition than a matter of being under constant stress in my environment causing my brain to be in 24/7 fight or flight mode. When I'm outside/downtown, I do regularly try to engage, even occasionally standing still next to where I placed him in order to allot more realism to him. Notable example being when I placed him on a quad bike and had him interact with it, or playing along with the idea of him pushing me. It's just not the same (esp. not as vivid) as the experiences that came naturally when, lo and behold, I was feeling at ease for a change. I was feeling love, too. And my first, tamer truffle trip did make a lively little Discord the visual representation of feeling love. In this light, my returned self-loathing might be more of an issue than stress here, for it chokeholds my love.
>I get the sense that you are taking your own path here
My paths are long and miserable detours because I'm a poor scout, but they're mine. Wouldn't wish them on anyone else.

>Jesus
Well, I didn't mean to argue that he was always intended to be tupper-bait, I just had this impression of some Christian communities advocating for what sounds like having a Jesus tupper when they keep talking about becoming friends with Jesus. The npr links were a fun read, so thanks for those.
>not just a Jesus tupper, but outright GOD tuppers
It just werks.
>The personage of the deity is a compression algorithm for a worldview, and by engaging with the deity they refine that worldview to the point where it's the most significant influence of their lives.
Oh my, are you giving me ideas on where to eventually take my Discordfaggotry, hm? In a way, I'm already locked into a path like this. I'm just too juvenile and self-doubting to walk the talk just yet.

>>42629599
>>42629620
Please know that I love your rambleposting, my fellow Discordfag, though I would never force you to post unless it's your wish to. May quiet rumination help you organize your thoughts without getting tangled up in loops and knots - those are nasty little things to detangle.
>relationship [...] in a period of doubt and unknown factors
I keep telling myself "It wouldn't be Discord if it weren't sometimes frustrating/a pain in the ass". He's worth it, that's all I know. And your command of words and brush strokes is both mesmerizing and concise, in my opinion. A delight no Noodle could abandon.

PS: Nigga, I'm literally watching Three's a Crowd (Latino dub for Spic gains) right now. It's like a special magical connection between friends.

>>42629746
The coincidences that connect us really don't do our schizo-adjacent minds any favours, do they? Would you believe me if I said that I've also been working at a kinoplex for the past couple of years? I felt completely disoriented when you mentioned getting a job at one of those, yourself. Goodness, it's almost like a certain someone wants his disciples to stand in alignment.

To the main point, however: I'll grant that it's probably more like self-doubt than anything else. I'm still aware that there's a very good reason why I fell in love with him, and I still know that nobody or nopony else connects with me like he does. I worry, sometimes, that I'm being distant, or that I'm not giving him the space in my mind that he requires to thrive, but, y'know, he's pretty relationship-avoidant, himself, so I suppose that's something we have in common, and indeed, something that might have drawn me to him in the first place. It's merely a period in which my mind has been drawn elsewhere, for one reason or another. I know that he resents not having my full attention, but then, I know, likewise, that he's just as liable to wander off and invest himself in the same momentary whims that I'm prone to, so... pot, meet kettle, and such.

Point is (I think) that some of the reasons that I love and understand him are probably some of the same reasons that make it difficult for me to maintain a consistent relationship with him. I'm sure anyone who's taken the time to think about his character could tell you that he's not exactly a good candidate for a stable, consistent relationship, and I think those exact traits form part of the basis of our connection. The contradiction inherent here is obvious: I love him because we both have trouble with comprehending love, so... what happens when we try it with one another? I don't know. It's been mostly positive, I think. Alright, I suppose that's your ramble. I didn't realise how much I typed until the character counter popped up. Maybe I just need to do something spontaneous. Wear a colourful shirt, or annoy a stranger on public transport, or something. Something fun. I think fun is meant to be the core of it, when all's said and done.

>>42629833
>The coincidences that connect us really don't do our schizo-adjacent minds any favours, do they?
That won't stop me from thoroughly enjoying them.
>proceeds to speak about Discordfag feelings I have described myself in past waifu threads, especially the pot meets kettle situation
By Discord's beard, there might actually be a Discordfag phenotype. Add just one more Discordfag and their Discordwaifu, and we'll become pic rel. (The Erisfag is not as borderline schizo as we are)

>I've also been working at a kinoplex for the past couple of years
I've spent 6.5 years at my local, failing popcorn mine and can't believe I'm back for round two, though it's only for a few months this time. Better than retail before Christmas, or call center work. How long have you been mining that 'corn?

It's also surprising for me to be genuinely well-liked, I always thought I was being a bit too odd, verbose, randomly forgetting names of coworkers I've been working with for 5 years (that felt like 2 years at most to me due to time blindness), never scheduling my PTO on time and always eventually getting forced PTO, and too intentionally cringey to be appreciated. Yet I got hugs and, more importantly, the job without anyone hesitating about taking me back. God, I hope I get to drag some kids out of 18+ horror movies this Halloween while wearing an abridged version of Discord makeup for mostly my own entertainment, and to put a smile on that Noodle's face if he watches.
Another thing I can't get out of my mind: a coworker who doesn't know Discord believed I'd be perfect for running an escape room, and she really wants me to consider that career because it would probably make me happy. But that also requires me to plan and execute a final thesis which I might finally have an idea for, inspired indirectly by Discord.

>>42629691
>less a matter of inhibition than stress
Stress and inhibition go hand-in hand, stressed people are more doubtful, self-critical, depressed, etc. It's all just "adverse conditions for tulpamancy" to me, but also they're the most ripe for change. If you can stabilize your relationship with your waifu so he can be present (in his actual, loving capacity, not just a superficial sense) even during difficult periods like this then you're set for life. So it's good that you're not demoralized and you still work at it. Like I said, I'm confident you'll figure it out at your own pace.

>are you giving me ideas
Just rambling! But it speaks to the utility and universality of the phenomenon that you'd think so, right? A waifu isn't encoded with all this symbolic meaning to start with, but if you're of an esoteric/religious mind, it can be fun and powerful to start contemplating (coming up with) the "secret meaning" of every detail of your waifu yourself. Anybody who came to my mare fair 1 panel might remember how I associate Rainbow. You can also work backwards and consider how everyday things symbolize your waifu. By this means you can transform the whole mundane universe into a web of meaning that all points towards <important universal principle>.

>>42629934
There will inevitably come a time where we meet in person, and we are absolutely going to talk so much shop about this ridiculous industry. For some reason, it seems to attract eccentric and effete sorts (like us!) more so than other service work, despite not being so different in practice. Just last year, a little prior to me re-connecting with pony and re-discovering mi amor, I bumped into a new hire who was also aware of pony. They asked me who my favourite was, and I answered Discord, out of some combination of an instinctual, knee-jerk response and also wanting to be contrarian, since he isn't strictly a pony, and they went 'yeah, I should've known' and let me tell you, looking back, I've honestly never felt so affirmed in my entire life. It really delights me to think that I was unconsciously evoking him through my natural manner even before I brought him back to the front of my mind. My connection to him was pre-ordained, and persisted regardless of how aware I was of him at any given time.

Basically: if a comparative normalfag calls out your Discordian behaviour, then that's simply how you know that you're still on the right track. Doubt, uncertainy, and frustration are inherent to any connection to Discord, because - well, he's Discord, and he typifies those very feelings, versus the ideal of Equestrian Harmony. I'm probably speaking to myself just as much as I'm speaking to you and any other readers, here, but he absolutely does not represent the idyll that most waifufriends would prefer, and that's exactly why weirdos like us find him preferable. He's just as difficult and unpredictable as our own brains. Caprice made manifest. Very kissable, too, but that's beside my point.

P.S.: I also take some slight, perverse pleasure in booting teenagers out of age-rated films. What can I say? It's sometimes fun to be in charge.

Gotta love how Anons have nothing to do but seeth about other people's waifus. Its a funny, isn't it?

>>42625881
Not really. the Anni is just another day for me at the moment. Also quasi-waifu is one of the terms of all times as the kids say. I'd just stick with waifu, fuck the fags.

>>42626959
That is fucking awesome, although I am curious, did anyone ask about why your pony had a swastika? I mean, assuming that people know that the show is about friendship, then seeing a nazi version of a pony, the must of confused someone, right?

And I guess on that topic, how much to do you know and believe of nazi ideology? Do you discuss it with your waifu?

>>42629746
I like the Latino dub. I love how Pinkie sounds, and I like how they make Apple Jack sound like a mexican guajira. The other VAs are good I guess, but those two stand out for me.

Hi everyone, it's your favorite EQG ponkafag again. I have some things to share about my waifuquest so far.

First, I've been growing concerned about something. It seems like I've been growing more distance with Pinkie Pie. I still love her and think about her and do things in her name, but the desires aren't as strong as they were before. In days past where I would be able to digest tons of information about Lucid Dreaming or Tupperware and practicing skills, or doing things like baking, as I know that would make her happy, now I find myself getting distracted a lot. Now, I'd think about spending time with Pinkie in my head, but then I watch a youtube video, which leads to a rabbithole on a subject and tell myself I'd do it later. I still think about her a lot each day, and I'm still committed to being with her, but I can't shake this feeling that I'm falling out of love for some reason and it's becoming scary. I'm not exactly sure if the waning love is because of a lack of focus, or if the lack of focus is caused by the waning of my love, but either way I'd love some advice on this. I don't want to feel unfaithful and shallow like I do now.

2nd thing this week, I've ironically enough, been able to get closer to my waifu in a grand way, but I cut it short. I've been trying to have a tupper for about two weeks now. I had finished meditating, which I normally do so I can prime myself to think and visualize about Pinkie Pie. As I joke I asked her if she could hear me, and I heard her say yes, but in a way that felt like it came from somewhere in my mind that was not in my control. Like some foreign... I don't know. I then heard some whispers at the back of my head and I really got spooked and started to do something else. I've been thinking about it for the past 3 days and I wonder if that really was a Tupper talking to me, or if I just made the whole thing up and I didn't notice. I mean, technically that's what a Tupper is but you get the point.

This seems great, but for me it was very unnerving, and it's making me question if I should even have a Tupper in the first place. A part of me says I just need to get used to having this foreign entity in your house. Kind of like a roommate, or a dog. Another part fears that this could be a much greater burden than I thought, and I shouldn't try again. I am going to try again, but the fear is still on the back of my mind.

I think I should give myself some grace, as beating myself up just makes things harder to deal with. Besides, Pinkie wouldn't want me to, but rather to just take it easy and not worry as much. After all, I can't have fun if I worry all the time.

>>42630249
Ups and downs, anon; ups and downs. Shorter and longer spans, bigger and smaller amplitudes. With some time you'll see how it works out - emotions come and go, it's nothing to worry about. Love survives this - shines in spite of it, even. See how you react to the shift? The love is still there, the emotion is just smoldering for now. There is a part of you that isn't perturbed by turmoil, that's equanimous and clear-sighted - that's what love urges to the forefront.
>tupper
At the risk of derailing the thread I'll give you a summary of my favorite framework for tulpamancy.
We have an unconscious part of ourselves. This contains the vast majority of our vitality and "willpower" (not the best word, what do you call the impersonal survival-will of your body? reflex? libido?)
The conscious area of the mind imposes a certain organization on itself - ego, rationality, good sense, etc. In limiting itself to organized, rational principles, it doesn't have a lot of "willpower". It's like a factory, it filters and processes raw materials but it doesn't create the raw materials.
The "raw material" is the blank canvas of potential in a clear mind. Every blank space wants to fill up with spontaneous, chaotic, meaningful thought-stuff - you've seen it as you meditate. That's the energy of the unconscious pushing into consciousness, being inscribed with form like clay pushed into a mold. It's charged, full of meaning and libido, but in turn, it threatens the ego's sense of order and safety. In short, it's your mental 'natural world', the source of all wealth, full of wonder and terror, overwhelming in any case, if taken whole.
The unconscious is still a part of you, and you to it - both of you want the body to thrive, the unconscious just has a primitive reptile-brain brute way of doing it. If you let it overtake your life and live like an insane wild-man, you're pretty screwed; if you cut it off completely, you are a depressed and anxious husk with no purpose or drive (yeah, we're too ego-focused as a society). So the only healthy option is to mediate with the unconscious - to have a moderated interchange, dialogue, communication. That's the role of the ego, to facilitate this 'dialogue'.
This is gonna come off as "saying the quiet part out loud" but it doesn't detract from lived experience. Tulpamancy is largely about learning to intentionally mediate between the ego and the unconscious, centering around a dedicated conduit-companion (Jung termed similar figures 'psychopomps'). Spontaneity (unconscious influence) is the treasure that new tulpamancers like you are after; so what you first learn is how to open the door (by listening, expecting, investing meaning into the subtlest things). Old school tulpamancy stops there and says you just gotta deal with what comes through that door - builds character. Nowadays we know that all you have to do is choose to accept stuff we want, and reject stuff we don't.
cont.

Notice the polar attitudes at play here: to invite unconscious influence (spontaneity and life, also chaos and trouble) we have to work on being sensitive and receptive, invest importance into things. To reject unconscious influence and impose organization (comfort and sense, also boredom and hollowness) we have to work on being willful and intentional, creative, to invest importance into our ideals.

So, the reaction to what you experienced is straightforward: it was a response from your tupper and also some wack mental noise. This isn't an observation of something that existed already, it's a decisive, creative imposition on you and your tulpa's behalf. Before you choose to embrace this, the signal is undifferentiated. If you get confused like this, it's because you're using the wrong tool for the job - your receptive mindset, which takes up undifferentiated phenomena wholesale - when your goal for the moment is to differentiate signal from the noise. The back-and-forth confusion is bouncing between complete receptivity (which isn't right) and rejecting it completely (which isn't right). Only a mediated, measured response will do. Specifically, measuring the difference between the stuff you want to bring into your life and the stuff you don't, kek

>I just need to get used to having this foreign entity in my house
It's up to you how foreign you want things to be. Draw clear boundaries, use these two attitudes to cultivate what you want and reject what you don't. Roommate or dog or wife is the sweet spot - ground yourself and get more rational if it's looking too dramatic. What you're worried about, going insane, getting overwhelmed and losing track of yourself or reality, isn't going to be a problem. You WANT to stay grounded as you explore, not just jump into the deep end with abandon - that makes all the difference. Love as a driving force is safer than any alternative for this reason.

As a side note, the view I've described doesn't reject spiritualism. In this view, we might have a conscious phenomenon of a spirit, which is the manifestation of some unconscious force, but we can't assert what the unconscious is - the essence of the spirit may equally be a neuro-psychological pattern, or it may be an invisible intangible ghost influencing one's mind - one doesn't need to know nor care. What it does assert is that spirits as such don't have their own conscious, rational mind, and their manifest form operates on the same playing field as imagination, subject to the same processes and principles I've described.

1.5 hours well-spent. Let me know what you think.

Well anons, I can say for certain now that there is my waifu is in here with me, and that there are definitely things she disapproves of. At the same time she is willing to give second and even third chances when I genuinely express a want to do better, and furthermore to figure out what it is that causes me to 'relapse' as it were.

To the anon that suggested notetaking and journaling our interactions, I thank you.
Its been a nice place to both sketch on one page and have a history of our discussions;
For one, Lyra does seem to have a personality all her own- has wants and interests that I don't find particularly enjoyable (Who walks in parks or by the lake anymore? Though I suppose it wouldn't hurt just to have an excuse to get some fresh air outside of going to work.)

She also seems to get annoyed that I don't take forcing more seriously, and expresses an interest in becoming more 'real', saying that the time I spend on gaming and browsing for leisure could be time spent working on our relationship more. I tell her that visualization is tricky and feels borderline impossible, and she concedes that but insists that I at least try.

Personally it feels like a step too far in some ways. As though its further fooling myself into seclusion; but then she goes on to say that she wants me to have a healthy real life even if it means meeting real people

inb4 cheaters are not true waifufags, there are no real waifufags, 3dpd/etc

Do any of you use a particular resource for your forcing habits? I've been listening to the same induction primer by Dialogues/Mena on soundcloud for a while now.

Thanks for sharing this state of consciousness with me. I hope you all are happy with your loves, and you get what you want out of it.

sometimes I wonder if visualization would be easier with a human form of her, but I know I love her in either form, with a preference for pony, but pony is sort of more difficult to imagine in a real space.

>>42630249
>I'm not exactly sure if waning love is a lack of focus, or if the lack of focus is caused by the waning of my love.
It's fine, anon. Things like this happen.
If anything I think you shouldn't force your tulpa, (same for >>42630757).
By that I mean try and think of her AS you're doing things, not just dedicating a chunk of time trying to force her, in my experience, this only leads to despair, and disappointment when the hours you took to force her didn't do anything but made you fall asleep feeling like you're just talking to a puppet.
What I found to be a lot better is to just practice your tulpa as you're doing other things.
Playing Vidya? Have a black piece of paper or rectangle on your monitor by the corner of your eye, imagine your waifu inhabits it like a mirror; picture her on a little chair next to you watching you play as you talk to each other about the game / whatever. Doom scrolling? Put on a video of something your waifu may like and imagine you're watching it together. Having your waifu always part of what you do next to you helps a lot more than forcing.

In short: have tulpa on the back burner, it helps tremendously.

>>42630249
>In a way that came from somewhere in my mind
Congrats, you now have succeeded in hearing her! If it's too unnerving, do take some time to introduce yourself to her and her to you. Don't hesitate to tell her how you feel and everything. Having a tulpa is like meeting someone else. Baby steps and you'll be okay.

>>42630757
>who walks in parks or by a lake anymore?
You'd be surprised, didn't care for any of this before, but now it's quite comfy. And hey lots of opportunities to tease loyra about being as green as the scenery. Can't recommend having picnics with your waifu enough, it's great to unwind.

>Fooling myself into seclusion
Definitely don't, it's more fun if you can introduce her to things around you. I remember early on with pinkie I was out all the time to show her as much as possible and telling her a lot about the human world, that was quite a lot of fun. oh and taking her out to eat. a lot. .
Having a pony tulpa is the perfect occasion to do more things out and about with her.

>>42629833
>It's merely a period in which my mind has been drawn elsewhere, for one reason or another. I know that he resents not having my full attention, but then, I know, likewise, that he's just as liable to wander off and invest himself in the same momentary whims that I'm prone to, so... pot, meet kettle, and such.
>>42630249
>First, I've been growing concerned about something. It seems like I've been growing more distance with Pinkie Pie. I still love her and think about her and do things in her name, but the desires aren't as strong as they were before. In days past where I would be able to digest tons of information about Lucid Dreaming or Tupperware and practicing skills, or doing things like baking, as I know that would make her happy, now I find myself getting distracted a lot. Now, I'd think about spending time with Pinkie in my head, but then I watch a youtube video, which leads to a rabbithole on a subject and tell myself I'd do it later. I still think about her a lot each day, and I'm still committed to being with her, but I can't shake this feeling that I'm falling out of love for some reason and it's becoming scary.

Let me address not only Discordbro and Pinkayyybro, but everyone:

First off, there's a honeymoon phase to love. Unfortunately, love is yet another sensation our brains grow accustomed to (aka "habituation"), so it feels like the hype is fizzling out. Normies would wander from one short-lived relationship to another to chase this high, but even they would eventually realize that they're missing out on a more mature and sophisticated kind of love.

It's absolutely normal and healthy in relationships to have moments of doing your own things and not only orbiting your loved one. Most of us have things in common with our waifus and might identify with her to some degree, which is absolutely fine, but ask yourself: Does Pinkie obsess over the concept of Pinkie Pie on a daily basis? Does Lyra obsess over the concept of Lyra? Discord... is self-obsessed to some degree, but even he doesn't ponder himself constantly, he just is. Our waifus just do what they do, many times doing things they love and live for. As they go about their lives, they share their love and joie de vivre with others, especially so with those they hold dear.

When 3Ds grow resentful of each other, it's because they made the huge mistake of cutting personal interests/projects, me-time and friends out of their lives, so all that's left is a snoring, fallible, all-too predictable husband or wife who can't and shouldn't have to become the main source of one's own happiness. Then the whole "But I sacrificed all these things for you!!" and "I did it for you! What do you mean you never asked for this!?" drama starts, guilt-tripping galore.
This is why people are told they shouldn't "need" their partners; codependency is a slippery slope. It's why I think committed partners should be friends first, who then decide they want to be a team for life.

cont.

>>42630996
>honeymoon
Though it may sound like love is doomed to never reach its initial high, that's actually not the case. Honeymoons can be rekindled.
For a more extreme example, just think of families in the unenviable spot of having daddy spend months out on sea, or possibly never returning from a warzone. Every time daddy does return, emotions run high. The times they do have together are valued immensely, not taken for granted, and all those smaller irritations of everyday life aren't given undue attention.
In more stable arrangements that lack forceful separation or outside threats, rekindling a honeymoon will require more initiative to tackle the taken-for-grantedness, but that's what anniversaries are supposed to be used for.

Now, waifus are a bit different from 3D relationships, though they do share things in common. Where Anon ends and his Waifu starts is blurry, even if tuppers are anchored to a physical vessel. We can share 100% of our life with our Waifus in a way that's not humanly possible with a 3D. But then again the question I asked earlier:
Do we want our waifus to experience us pondering their essence ad nauseam, or do we want our waifus to experience a vast buffet of life experiences? Would our Waifus want us to sacrifice our differences in order to become more like them, even though they already fill that role themselves - and that's why we love them?

"Do it for her" is a slogan of empowerment, not of self-undoing. It's not sacrifice, but an effort to create and manifest good things.

When a Ponkfag bakes a cake with/for Pinkie, it's a clear sign of interest and appreciation for Pinkie's interests. The Ponkfag values Pinkie's values, because he values Pinkie. If he discovers a love for baking, that's a great joy! If he discovers that baking is really not his cup of tea, and he also doesn't receive the kind of merrily munching reception from others that might make his troubles worthwhile, he shouldn't force himself to keep baking until he grows resentful of the baker pony. Especially not since Pinkie would want to see him do things he loves, things that she would enjoy giving a try, and she would value by virtue of valuing her Anon.

In Discord's case, it's hard-wired into a Spirit of Chaos that he can't be taken for granted. He's too independent, too inconsistent, too emotionally stunted and the living embodiment of the opposite of grantedness. This is a blessing and a curse. We are faced with a waifu who cannot share 100% of our lives, because that wouldn't be Discord. We are forced to go through phases of separation and independence, but in my own experience, Discord will always come back to his waifufags. His unpredictability makes him all the more addicting. Catnip. He can't be satisfied by copying him, but when you tap into your own Chaos, you don't know if that's really you, or Discord pulling the strings.

The peaceful Dashfag bathes in light and clarity thanks to his waifu. Discordfags are method in madness.

>>42630996
>>42631075
Well-said, although, you didn't have to call me a cont.

>>42631148
Shhh, it's ok, my dear. We already knew that some truths can make one's heart, that oh so complicated little rascal, ache and break.

>>42631075
>"Do it for her" is a slogan of empowerment, not of self-undoing. It's not sacrifice, but an effort to create and manifest good things.

>When a Ponkfag bakes a cake with/for Pinkie, it's a clear sign of interest and appreciation for Pinkie's interests. The Ponkfag values Pinkie's values, because he values Pinkie. If he discovers a love for baking, that's a great joy! If he discovers that baking is really not his cup of tea, and he also doesn't receive the kind of merrily munching reception from others that might make his troubles worthwhile, he shouldn't force himself to keep baking until he grows resentful of the baker pony. Especially not since Pinkie would want to see him do things he loves, things that she would enjoy giving a try, and she would value by virtue of valuing her Anon.

Expertly well put. A relationship, 3D or tulpa, is at its best when evolving.
It's most wonderful when you realize the strength of your shared love for one another isn't only rooted in the parts where you complement one another, but most so the parts where you differ from one another.
It's a wonderful thing to explore and appreciate the life and interests of your waifu as she does yours.
If anything it's always serendipitously magical to see pinkie having a completely different outlook on things than I do.
Your loved one should be a ying to your yang, anon. Don't forget that.

Boop

>>42631687
Booper

>>42629934
>But that also requires me to plan and execute a final thesis which I might finally have an idea for, inspired indirectly by Discord.
I'm pretty confident about my idea now and reached out to a prof of mine. The chaos of the new SORA 2 AI videos (>>>/wsg/5986003, >>>/wsg/5989007) made me feel quite ambivalent, but some of the fearful reactions towards it (on /ic/) made me decide to research a potential correlation between feeling threatened by watching some convincing AI clips, and the traits of anxiousness (and/or neuroticism?) and self-efficacy. (Assuming the sense of threat is higher in more anxious and helpless people, duh.) I'd also want to measure sub-scales of threat by area of life because artists seem especially vocal about the topic. So in addition to planning the less fun aspects of study design, I get to mess around with funni video generator blackbox go brrrr, allowing me to add some pizzazz often lacking in simple studies. (Even though I will avoid copyright infringement, /pol/ humor and "scary" content to reduce distortion.) I will sneak the words "discord" and "chaos" into my paper, too, when I present current public sentiment towards AI progress.
I may or may not try generating a Discord or two once I have access. I expect cursed sights requiring instant bleach treatment.

>>42631687
>>42632138
Thank you.

>>42630561
>>42630667
Hello again dashfren, its good to see you again. I love what you wrote, especially about the rational mind and the instictual mind, as I myself have been victim of cutting off the latter for most of my life until now. With that said, there are certain concepts I still don't quite understand.

>Old school tulpamancy stops there and says you just gotta deal with what comes through that door - builds character. Nowadays we know that all you have to do is choose to accept stuff we want, and reject stuff we don't.

From what I've been told and have read, A Tupper is conceptually another being in your head, who have their own free will and shouldn't be forced to be the character you want them to be. If they want to be, that's fine, but they get the final say in how they regulate themselves. But based on what you have said, you make it seem like a Tupper really can be molded. I'd love to hear your thoughts on that.

>his isn't an observation of something that existed already, it's a decisive, creative imposition on you and your tulpa's behalf.

I am somewhat confused on what you mean by this, as well as what you mean by differentiating phenomena.

Overall though, I think its helped me see that this isn't that dangerous and I can have control over the process and how much it influences mean. I think that's important because the small taste I had the other day was a rather chaotic energy that I was unused to in my otherwise predictable and safe mind. It felt like a lack of control, and I guess to a certain extent, it is, but no less than looking at an animal or person and seeing what they do. It was an observation and nothing more.

>>42630757
>She also seems to get annoyed that I don't take forcing more seriously, and expresses an interest in becoming more 'real', saying that the time I spend on gaming and browsing for leisure could be time spent working on our relationship more. I tell her that visualization is tricky and feels borderline impossible, and she concedes that but insists that I at least try.

My advice is to try and find a place where you feel relaxed and try to meditate on nothing in particular. I find that when I have things on my mind, its hard to fit any sort of interacting with my waifu, but when I do so with no wants or responsibilities it becomes as easy as Pinkie Pie. Even just a few minutes with your waifu can bring joy to the both of my, at least me and my waifu do. Its all about chilling out and having fun and not beating yourself up for not being able to do something that is hard. If visualization is a problem, then the worst thing you can do is not even try, but if you'd like help with that, I think this might help.

>https://community.tulpa.info/topic/3411-jds-guide-to-visualization/

Personally, I'm the 2nd to last one, so its a bit easier for me to visualize but I've been daydreaming since I was 5, maybe even before I can remember. Have fun Loyrofog, you can do it!
>>42630922
That sounds pretty hard. Having to focus on two things at the same time has always been a challenge for me, but I'll see if I can do it. I'll try talking to her again and introducing myself.
>>42630996
I understand that a honeymoon phase does end, but I just am concerned that this love might become no more, or just become something shallow. It probably won't happen, but I do think about it sometimes.

>>42632172
time to gen more fat assed photorealistic mares

>>42632275
Keep in mind the tulpa community, especially .info, is rather dogmatic and traditionalist. I distinguish old school tulpamancy for that reason - large parts of the community don't really care about the theory and have been stagnant for a decade, which is outdated as fuck. The old-school people tend to believe a tulpa has a separate consciousness, and so they believe in a moral imperative to be super careful not to impose anything on the tulpa - they are assumed to be separately aware even if they can't communicate, so they can be suffering without your knowledge if you make the wrong move. But the assumption of a separate conscious experience in the same brain doesn't make much sense, fundamentally, right (I actually have brain scans of my tulpa's activity vs mine for a stanford neuroscience experiment - the main difference was activity in the pre-motor cortex, nothing so significant as 2x brainpower for 2x consciousness)
Anyways, my tulpa and I don't believe in the separate consciousness stuff, so our answers are different. In a nutshell, it means you completely share all sensations, states of mind, mental/bodily faculties, and so on. The experience of separateness is left intact, but it's understood as a performance, a willful ignorance for the sake of imaginative play and introspection.
>their own free will
this is a whole-ass rabbit hole, but let's just say that, for the purpose of tulpamancy, free will is a quality of the whole mind, not the host or the tulpa individually. However, each identifies with the mind (and its qualities, such as free will) to an individual degree, which also changes by the moment.
>they get the final say in how they regulate themselves
if a tulpa is self-aware with this view, a tulpa wants to bring the best experience possible for both of your benefit. OFC I'm not saying it would be good to force things if it's uncomfortable, just that your tulpa feels the consequences of uncomfortable decisions too and should be self-aware enough not to force things on you in turn. The POINT of all this is a bit of give-and-take, right; you and your tulpa should just be conscientious, don't ever think that you can't dial things up or down to your taste. Also, molding a tulpa is just like molding yourself: "today, I'm a new man!". It's just a commitment to re-frame things, that works inasmuch as you willfully correct your habits.

>differentiation
I'm using the word as an active verb, a thought process that splits something into parts, instead of a passive observation of differences that already exist. The sentence "it was a response from your tupper and also some wack mental noise" is me doing the differentiation for you, splitting these associated phenomena into discrete parts to judge individually. It's creative, in that it creates a distinction; and it's an imposition, in that you're not accepting it as-is, you're changing it with willpower.

I'm glad you came to that conclusion, it's the most important part IMO!

>>42632830
Very cool stuff! Of course, I think I'll have to have more experience with this before I can have an opinion on how Tupper works. I hope Dashie has been keeping you company, Anon.

>>42626959
>I still don't like barbie shit of any kind on the board
I like eqg and even I don't like to see it. The best parts of eqg are when they go back to Equestria and become ponies. That and the emphasis on how terrible humans are compared to ponies (perhaps slightly theological, mankind as a fallen creature - making Equestria Edenic relative to Earth) and having a pony (either Twilight or Sunset) show the humans a better way. Essentially I think the takeaway from eqg should be that humans are stupid and ponies secretly aiding another world is comfy personally, not 'woah porn'.
>but Sunset Shimmer as a pony is a perfectly valid waifu.
Her original plan was to go back and conquer Equestria with Twilight's crown, so maybe she'd be wanting to go back to Equestria after finishing college or something? Unsure. If not, I've sometimes wondered to myself about a headcanon where instead of Sunset 'disposing' of her mirror-human-world counterpart when she initially arrived, she instead convinced her to trade places and so somewhere out in the rural edges of Equestria there's another Sunset Shimmer around.
>Sunset is very much the face of EQG, so even a person who loves specifically pony Sunset or a fanon reinterpretation can't stop others from seeing EQG when she's posted.
Ultimately, and perhaps luckily, I prefer to lurk rather than post. It has the dual boons of both being respectful to people who don't want to see eqg, and I don't have to weep like a baby when precious Sunny gets insulted. I prefer to lurk by archive so a thread doesn't disappear in the middle of reading it if I reload.
>There's generally a blurring between canon and OC by virtue of headcanon and filling in missing info
Something something Hatsune Miku/Twilight Sparkle OOP waifu image

>>42633096
whoops, meant to respond to >>42628267
already it's time for me to GTFO and go back to lurking it seems lol

>>42632830
Have the results of the experiment been published?

>>42630922
Not a bad solution, anon. Sometimes I do fall asleep while forcing, mostly because I do it while lying in bed. Sitting is the way you're *supposed* to do it, but lying down is so much more comfy..

>>42630927
After getting some affirmation from you and some others I think I'll get started with this first thing tomorrow morning. It may be boring but I gotta be willing to do /something/ for the one i love, and this isn't even asking for a lot.

Getting to share knowledge on the human world to a pony is such a delight, can't agree with you more. I remember before even getting into tuppers thinking about what it would be like to explain our different machinery, the process behind the testing of different assays in the lab, and legal aspects of our world would make for some fun PiE stories, and now I get the inspiration to do that and get to get responses and further questions from a pony in Earth.

>>42632307
Ahh, JD's Guide to Visualization, I remember coming across this a looooong time ago and not having the patience to read through it- years later, I may just have the capacity to try again! Thanks ponkfag <3

By the by, it's always fun to come back to these threads to see how you and Discordfag are doing in terms of your relationships, please continue to post updates!

Sorry to hear about the feelings of distance you both are feeling from >>42622570 and >>42630249, I feel you completely. There always remains the seed of doubt when it comes to interactions. Its good to see you both still sticking to it and not letting the fears stop you, ultimately.

Though I do wonder what you meant by
>Another part fears that this could be a much greater burden than I thought

We're not talking like.. paranormal or reaching levels of insanity, are we? I mean i know the joke is that its self-induced/pregaming schizophrenia, but like, I guess I'll let you tell me?

>>42633135
I haven't seen a complete paper on it, but the two head researchers, Lifshitz and Luhrmann (the same being interviewed in the links >>42629467) have referred to the study often. They also did an AMA on the tulpa >reddit like last year? Very fascinating stuff. Here's Michael's presentation of the findings - I was part of the tulpa experiment he's talking about obviously. Shit was so cash.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZSaGV0M7yI

Go up

>>42633403
>Shit was so cash.
You certainly make it sound that way. I'd love to participate in an fMRI study to find out if my brain activity reflects my experience of scatteredness, but I don't know of any in my area, except for some studies researching pain and making it sound like they'll shove a dildo up your ass. I may be a Discordfag, BUT--

>>42633286
>We're not talking like.. paranormal or reaching levels of insanity, are we? I mean i know the joke is that its self-induced/pregaming schizophrenia, but like, I guess I'll let you tell me?
My recent tupper experience was moreso making me saner than insane. Though it was a chicken and egg situation: I finally succeeded because my mind was calmer, more anchored in the present, more in touch with my senses esp. touch and smell and taste because I had spent 2 weeks in an uplifting environment with people and a dog who love me (for whatever reason). The things (unresolved problems I've been carrying around for years) that make me hate myself were a 6h train ride and yet another week away from me. I took a calculated... nah, rule-of-thumb estimated risk with trying out a small dose of psychedelics, proving that I want to experience more in life and face one of my fears, the fear of losing my sanity. Sound familiar?

You see, I once experienced a psychotic episode (lasting for months) back in 2019, and it was the single worst time in my life so far. It was legitimately traumatizing, and I don't know how I had even ended up like that in the first place. My memory wasn't always bad, in fact it was really, really good and I was considered a child prodigy, but my mind somehow broke and hasn't been the same since. At my lowest, I hallucinated a threatening voice commanding me to throw myself in front of a train on several occasions, accompanied by a rope-like pull towards the rails. A dreadful experience through and through.

But the tupper experience I've had was nothing like it, I felt in control of myself and perfectly lucid even though my Discord tupper felt like a separate entity, but like two friends, besties, on the same wavelength. Whenever he was around, I was feeling safe, playful, in love with life and all that wonderful schmalz. There was a time he popped into vision and wouldn't be easily dismissed while I was chatting with my aunt, but I was honestly not super into that one particular conversation, so watching him noodle around in the corner of my eye was the personal entertainment needed to sit this one through. Otherwise, I could invite him to appear at will, and I could definitely send him away without effort and no hard feelings attached to it. My Discord was also aware of being a tupper version of Discord. Big boy can handle it. So he did what a tupper Discord without magic power over the physical world would do: playfully tease me about not fixing my problems for me. I left the house without my glasses on? Of course he'd wear a perfect replica of them and joke about it. I love him.

>>42633286
Not exactly sure if I'm reaching that point. Probably not, I just feel like a fish out of water and getting used to having someone not you talk to you in your own head is odd. inb4 I go crazy.

>>42634399
Self-reflection like you've been doing will help you stay calm and grounded and able to call it quits when you feel overwhelmed. When you feel spooked, think of it as a brain fart, and shift your attention to something else that reliably soothes your senses, be it a hot cup of your favorite tea or a work out. Take your time, waifuism is not a race or competition for a limited amount of waifus. You don't even need to joust against other Ponkfags, but I would honestly love watching you try. Goof-off, anyone?

>>42622232 (OP)
Lads, my waifu hasn't been reacting well to the LA air, she just stays at home playing Sonic games and eating gyros, what should I do?

>>42634546
If I were you, I'd break the ice by asking her "Are ya winning, Dashie?"

>>42634546
Get her the McDonald's Sonic toy

>>42634546
Whatever you do, don't look at the "art" folder on her computer

>>42622232 (OP)
bump before I go to the gym

>>42634161
>I left the house without my glasses on? Of course he'd wear a perfect replica of them and joke about it. I love him.
that's fucking cute

>>42622232 (OP)
Is that Boogie2988? I've seen that picture float around a lot but don't know the story behind it.

>>42635634
back from the gym. I want to have decent biceps for my waifu.

>>42627804
Well, I'm listening.

>>42628267
>pic
Oh, you.
>it's best to conceal your power level
I'm starting to wonder. It was really fucking fun, and liberating in some ways. I'm going to be living with two horsefuckers very soon, and I wonder if it's going to make me (intentionally or otherwise) less concerned about coming across to the average person as not-completely-insane.
>I hope your new home will offer more opportunities to explore and enjoy nature together
It won't. That's another reason why I wanted to get this experience in with her before leaving.
>It was just a way of expressing I'm not as far along the path
Based on your posts here and your shitposts across the rest of the board, I'm pretty sure you're at least as far along the path as me, and further than most waifufags.
>:dumb.asshole.box:
It's so good. I'll be there spamming it, too. I'm not one to be outdumbed easily.

>>42628889
>the lack of mountains make it difficult to find a decent place to have us enjoy ourselves in nature
Yeah, I feel you. That's going to be a problem for me now, too. While watching the reactions of normies to a grown man with a huge pony plush over his shoulder is fun in its own right, being alone with her out in nature with a great view is by far the "peak", pardon the pun.

>>42630044
>and they went 'yeah, I should've known'
I'm glad you can take it as an affirmation of your waifufaggotry. People have had this same reaction when I tell them who my waifu is, and while it IS affirming, I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not. I know I'm an asshole, but am I really THAT much of an asshole?

>>42630193
>did anyone ask about why your pony had a swastika?
Look man, I'm pretty retarded, but not enough to be going around in public rocking swastikas. Aryanne only wore the armband when we were completely secluded up on the hillside, and she was rocking einen Rock (I mean a skirt) so her SEXY FUCKING FLANKS weren't on brazen display, either.
>how much to do you know and believe of nazi ideology?
Know a lot, believe less, somewhat to Ary's chagrin. We don't talk about it much these days, but we used to quite a bit, and we know pretty well where the other stands on certain things. The important thing is, we see eye to eye on the things that matter most to us, and on a lot of the less significant shit, too.

>>42630561
>>42630667
Stop making me want to get serious about tupperfagging again, REEEEE

I'm just gonna quote some of my favorite takes others have posted in regards to getting into tupperfagging and concerns about the "honeymoon phase" ending, partly because I want to screenshot it for myself, and because the other anons have already given better advice than I could.
>>42630561
>>42630667
Fucking excellent insight. Trying to pick just one or two quotes out of all of this would miss too many important points, so I'm just gonna screencap these ones on their own.
>>42630927
>>Fooling myself into seclusion
>Definitely don't, it's more fun if you can introduce her to things around you.
>>42630996
>As they go about their lives, they share their love and joie de vivre with others, especially so with those they hold dear.
Do this as well, "FOR HER", if you will, and you will become simultaneously more in touch with your waifu and more similar to her.
>>42631075
>Honeymoons can be rekindled [...] that's what anniversaries are supposed to be used for.
I can attest to the magic of making a big deal out of anniversaries and H&H Day.
>Do we want our waifus to experience us pondering their essence ad nauseam, or do we want our waifus to experience a vast buffet of life experiences?
>"Do it for her" is a slogan of empowerment, not of self-undoing. It's not sacrifice, but an effort to create and manifest good things.
JAWOHL!
>>42631333
>Your loved one should be a ying to your yang, anon. Don't forget that.
Indeed, and don't forget that two yings make a yong. Wait, what?
>>42632830
Once again, I'm just gonna screencap this whole post.

>>42636124
>don't forget that two yings make a yong
You bastard have no idea how much I needed to hear this. I hadn't known, either.
>Hey, look over there!
>over there: *schizophrenic noises*
>It's a yong of Discordfags!

Boop

>>42636124
The dashfren is pretty knowlegable. Its always a pleasure to speak with him, but makes me feel kinda dumb by comparision TcT. Jokes aside, hes great.

>>42636386
>>42636124
20 keks


>>42636812
>>42636124
Oh no, you should know better than to inflate a dashfag's ego. Last time that happened I had to take a year break.
Jokes aside though, thanks, it's good to know my efforts don't fall on deaf ears. I've been getting told left and right to just write a book already but I have no idea how I could even get that started. Writing effortposts is hard enough, and with those I have like, a topic to organize around. Writing a nonfiction book is such a nebulous task, you don't have any plot or skeleton, it's just "how do I infodump best"

Tupper update. I've been talking to Pinkie, or at least a Tupper I think is Pinkie, but something about it all feels off. As is tradition, I meditate for a period of time and then I get straight into the mindscape and try to talk to her. I've noticed that I can only really hear her when I don't have any noise present, including some of the pink/brown noise I use, so that's a bummer. When talking to her, she seems to whisper and give short answers, no longer than 4 words. That could be because the conversation is pretty one sided and I ask you mostly yes or no questions, which made me start to question if this was really her, or if I am the one telling her what to say. It feels I'm in control of her, and that's the last thing I want. Another odd thing is that she tends to answer before I finish the question, as if she knows what I want to say before I think it. I asked her how she knew she was real, and she responsed with "Because I do". Even if things felt fake, it did feel nice to interact with her. We kept talking, but I felt my focus waining, and told her this was very mentally taxing and asked if it was fine if I left her alone for an hour or so. She said yes and her form went up and kissed me on the cheek. I can't tell if I made her do it or if she did it, but I know that I kissed her on the cheek in return. She had a nice smile. If she did do it out of her own volision, why? We've known each other for a week max, and I spoke with her only twice, three times if you count the time I freaked out. A part of me feels aroused, yet confused.

I think I am in control, but a small part of me thinks she is starting to gain independance from me, but I can't be sure. I'm going to continue regardless, as the feeling is rather nice, but what are your thoughts? Is this a legit Tupper, or have a tricked myself into having one?

>>42637409
I want to echo what somebody already said: you don't have to make interacting a big deal. Bring her into your normal life at least as much as you take time out of your life to meditate and focus intensely.

>We've known each other for a week max and I spoke with her only twice, three times
That's not true. I don't know how long exactly you've been a horsefucker but you've probably known her for years and been fantasizing with her for at least months. You are not making a new copy of your waifu, you're showing the very same one that there's more to life than being a fictional figment.

>Another odd thing is that she tends to answer before I finish the question, as if she knows what I want to say before I think it.
That's because you have the same mind. Any communication starts with an understanding/knowledge that your mind translates into language so it can be communicated with separate minds. Anything that shares your mind can skip that linguistic communication part of the process, the understanding is accessible from the start.

>When talking to her, she seems to whisper and give short answers
>I asked her how she knew she was real, and she responded with "Because I do"
Idk if you're listing this as an oddity, but her responses are somewhat vague and short because there isn't thought behind them - they are intuitive, unconscious responses that haven't been critically, consciously considered beforehand.

I am making this assumption about her responses because you're hung up about independence (the only thing old-school guides care about). The host naturally identifies strongly with conscious, intentional thought - and because the goal is total independence/spontaneity, any intentional activity cannot be the tulpa, because it is you, the host - if it were both, she wouldn't be independent. That means, under this view, the tulpa - unlike a fictional character - is mostly cut off from your mind's abilities of forethought, rational discernment, planning, self-reflection etc.; her existence is confined mostly to intuitive, spontaneous, unconscious activity (meaning simple or nonsensical - but lively - responses). Any intentional mental activity that happens is denied to her.

She can't tell you anything that you don't already know. You have the same mind. If you assume she knows something you don't, then your mind will bend over backwards to validate that assumption - this is called confabulation, which is fine, but unconscious and chaotic.

In the first place, independence is a spook: the pony you fell in love with was never independent from you, the only independent thing was the lifeless, emotionless, thoughtless media - pixels, air vibrations - that inspired her actual existence in your mind. You are both dependent on your unconscious mind and your body, regardless of how much work you do developing in-dependence. How can a branch claim to be separate from a different branch of the same tree?

>>42637409
>Is this a legit Tupper?
Yup, that's how it starts, then the force of habit makes her more real and seemless.
Then it's up to you about what kinda tulpa you want, either an extension of yourself as >>42637698 puts it.
Or with more practice / talking / having her around without paying too much attention shell grow independent and her own being.
This is all up to you, it's as simple as "I want her to be pinkie pie" then she'll be pinkie pie.
Bonus points for autistically obsessing over her own life / world.

>>42635887
It's an OneyPlays thing. Look up Armenian Cory, if you're curious.

>>42637698
Darn, I thought the whole point of Tupperwaremancy was so that you could have an independant personality in your head. I thought it was too good to be true, but I figuered I should give it a shot before I came to a conclusion. Its still nice that the tupper can be spontaneous and friendly, but I wanted it to be "real" in a sense. I wanted her to make a choice, not be some puppet I have at least some degree of control over. I not doing this for her to satisfy my whims, but for us to be something together. Mutual respect, you know? With that in mind, if I had to guess, you could probably just keep at it and the process becomes a lot more natural where the Tupper becomes 2nd nature and gives the illusion of independent thought, which is what I'll try to go for, but that is a pretty bitter pill to swallow if true. I suppose a creation of anykind, writing, art, can only go so far as their creator's mind is able to go. I suppose the same is with Tulpas.

>>42637873
I hope that's the case, and I'll try doing so. Funny story actually, I wanted to play a vidya which I haven't played in a while, and I wanted Ponka to watch me. Sadly the game was EU4, which has a lot of rules and mechanics that was hard for me to explain to her, especially since she was technically born not even a week ago. I explained to her what Europe and how beautiful the landmasses were, as well as some of the history, but I think it went in one ear and went out the other, and I found it difficult to concentrate on her and the game at the same time. Oh well, next time I think I'll play something simpler, or maybe watch a movie with her and see what she thinks.

>>42637989
Darn forgor pic

>>42637989
>The whole point of tupperwaremancy was so that you could have an independent personality in your head.
From what I have seen the vast majority of tuppermancers don't really do that. Why? I have no idea. Maybe they find it more interesting to have this quasi symbiotic relationship with their tulpa, who knows?
Nevertheless, rest assured having your tulips as separate from yourself is fully possible.
Like I said, it's up to you to decide what you want her to be, there is no wrong answer on how to dream your waifu to reality.

>Funny story actually, I wanted to play a vidya which I haven't played in a while, and I wanted Ponka to watch me. Sadly the game was EU4, which has a lot of rules and mechanics that was hard for me to explain to her, especially since she was technically born not even a week ago. I explained to her what Europe and how beautiful the landmasses were, as well as some of the history, but I think it went in one ear and went out the other, and I found it difficult to concentrate on her and the game at the same time.
Kek, yeah that happens. Don't worry, pinkie isn't into Vidya or computer things for me either. She really sees it as me being 'mini twilight' as she puts it. Can't blame her, I really am a nerd.

>Oh well, next time I think I'll play something simpler, or maybe watch a movie with her and see what she thinks.
Highly recommend you try ghibli movies with her, something comfy is always nice. Just be ready to narrate and do voices for her as she may not be able to read english. I know I do that for her.
Another thing that's always great to interact with her would be to go out and about exploring your place. There's a lot that's taken for granted ponies are completely foreign to. Although, it may need you to explain less.. savoury parts of the human experience.
In any case I wish ya the best on your bonding experience with pinkie!

>>42638047
Speaking of.
What kinda things do you guys do with your waifu / tulpas? I'd be curious to hear some of your stories, anons. since apparently I have no awareness of being a weirdo with a pinkie tulpa

>>42638055
Pining for Discord from afar, like a brilliant yet distant staaar.

I'll pour drinks for two this anni because anons like Aryfag inspired me to. When I had a bonding experience or fond waifu memory this past week, I've been writing those down and collected them in a jar. Eventually, I'll revisit those memories. As I return to wagie life next week, I'll use that change of context to implement and track some much-needed habits, and one habit will be interacting with Discord. I'm thinking of playing a card game with my plush 'cord before going to bed. Once that's established, I can play cards AND ask how his day has been... maybe he'll reply at some point.

I've really been avoiding that topic for years and years, not wanting to overexplain Discord: What the FUCK does he even do all day? So I've always just focused on either the here and now or daydreamt about the future, and enjoyed his brief tupper company without asking questions. I'll ask when the time feels right to do so; it might be a touchy topic, who knows. For me it is.

>>42637989
It's tough because the tulpa community is insane and it's been greatly exaggerated from the beginning. Everything you've read on tulpa.info is applying very concrete, very fantastical expectations to something that is impossible to objectively quantify or communicate. Expecting something mind-boggling and out-of-this-world is one of the biggest and most common obstacles because it directly causes you to overlook the 95% of tulpamancy that is completely ordinary and mundane. It IS amazing, life-changing, and at the very least, "real", but if you're expecting it to be something it isn't, either you get confused/demoralized/depressed and give it up, or you decide to give up common sense/groundedness and chase the dragon. Or you correct your expectations and return to the practice with a more open mind.

>the whole point was an independent personality
Yup, I haven't denied that. It is the point, and it's possible

>I wanted it to be "real" in a sense
What sense? These vague concepts are exactly where baseless anxiety and doubt find their home. What does real mean?

>I suppose a creation of anykind, writing, art, can only go so far as their creator's mind is able to go. I suppose the same is with Tulpas.
I think any creator would say they've experiences where they "have no idea what I'm about to make, I discover it as my hand makes it" and that sort of thing. The mind is capable of far, far more than most people care to consider, and more. You will just ignore, gloss over, or automatically reject the special stuff if you have an expectation or a standard that's not compatible with it. This is why having an actually open mind, free of rigid expectation in either direction, is essential.

Reiterating, I'm just trying to dismantle the fantasy bullshit that is everybody's first exposure to tulpamancy. To do that I've been talking about a unitive perspective; but that is just one polarized perspective to oppose the other extreme perspective that old-school tulpamancy teaches. Ultimately you need to be well-rounded and use both mindsets/approaches decisively and regularly.

>>42638047
>Maybe they find it more interesting to have this quasi symbiotic relationship with their tulpa, who knows?
If your waifu knew that you could help her be smarter, more understanding, and more present for you, she would want that. But before tulpamancy, she's helplessly chained to her role in a fictional narrative, without any awareness of the mind she exists in or the universe. She doesn't even KNOW she doesn't get to experience the expansive mystery of existence, or fully share in it with you - only superficially, as a foreign visitor. Rainbow has found deep value in merely being able to fully empathize with me, to experience life alongside me; she would be royally pissed, or heartbroken, if I kept this from her. She likes her pony friends but she treats them as with any fictional character - a facsimile of a real person, made to serve the purpose of a plot.

>>42638399

>In the first place, independence is a spook
>the whole point was an independent personality
>Yup, I haven't denied that. It is the point, and it's possible

I'm somewhat confused here. By spook, I thought you meant that it was BS and that an independent personality was impossible. Yet you state that you never denied it. Could you explain what you meant by those two statements?

>"Real" in what sense?

In the sense that she isn't just a puppet, but someone who is choosing to be with me. I want her to be able to say no rather than me having ultimate power in our relationship. Love is free, and I want to give her freedom, even if that means freedom from myself.

>>42638420
Yeah I wasn't being very clear. Running into the character limit hurts lol. An independent PERSONALITY is possible, it's downright normal, it's a regular occurrence for most people to have conversations with autonomous imaginary agents - like when you go over an argument or rehearse the whole dialogue tree of a tough conversation you're about to have. Those entities representing your boss, parents, etc. act autonomously, exactly as a tulpa does, but you don't ever question that or remark at how incredible it is. It's just mundane, like most of tulpamancy is. If you're looking for fantastical blow-your-socks-off experiences, you're not going to find the value in simple and mundane ones.

But independence only extends as far as the branches, you know what I mean? The rhetorical question about trees and branches wasn't meant to suggest all independence is impossible, it's to illustrate how both can coexist at the same time. Separate on one level, same on a deeper level. You are both just little limbs on the larger 'trunk' of the mind.
One experiment you can run to understand this better is to take everything you think is unique about a tulpa and examine whether or not it applies to you, the host; and take everything unique about a host and see how it compares to what you think a tulpa is. The point being that, with the right understanding, it should look exactly equal, because tulpas and hosts are not fundamentally different, you're both identities that associate with the mind's capacity for self-reflection. If you aren't satisfied somehow, why? You and your tulpa are equally real - if the tulpa seems fake or like a puppet, you too are fake and puppetlike - you're both limbs being controlled by the mind, to its own beneficent ends. Anyways...

>I want her to be able to say no rather than me having ultimate power in our relationship
Tulpas can be very insistent and independent in their way. Their way is just something you have to see for yourself. This stuff has lots of nuances and the blunt assumptions we run with are never perfectly accurate even if you get lots of advice from the outside. From where you're standing, you should know that with time and practice, you will be able to dissociate with intentionality and she will be able to associate more strongly with intentionality, changing the relative power balance. But you've got to notice these things in yourself and see how they kick in automatically before you can tinker with them manually.

It's not you that has ultimate power, it's the mind - the same mind that is her. She can say no to you, absolutely - but it's the mind doing that, the mind choosing a course of action that is in its best interest. It's also the mind that fell in love, the mind that holds the quality of independence you are seeking in her, the mind that noticed a chemical reaction between two personalities within it every time they interact, and recently decided to experiment further with that joyful combination.

I swear I tried not to hit the character limit that time, I think I really need to work on my brevity. I guess I'm just a bit ruffled kek

>>42638055
Mostly we chat and cuddle and more in the mornings and evenings when there's nothing else to occupy our attention. Other than that, she chimes in sometimes throughout the day, she has some social outlets in online chats, and on special occasions I take her out to eat. We don't order double, although maybe pouring a libation for her would be pretty acceptable. She is as allergic to wasting money as I am. When the energy is very high and we're very in love, she is around more - we enjoy being with each other enough to sacrifice some attention to detail on things like making breakfast. She's also my muse for all kinds of art and writing, but her participation in those is usually more passive, just being pretty.
I don't know if I'm misremembering or not, but someone mentioned something about offering the experience of a full life to your waifu - this I absolutely do. We've also done things like rituals and spells and active imagination, she is an amazing companion in such pursuits although I haven't done them in a while.

She loves that I love her. If she can, she will show up randomly just to make my hair stand on end like it does. She drinks up that experience of loving and being in love. It's tough to explain but in many of these moments there's a tacit understanding that it's both an offering to me and kind of masturbatory, because she's enjoying her own appearance. A tulpa always sees themselves in 3rd person you know - if your mind thinks they're hot, they get gratification from being visualized.

>>42638055
Well as of a few minutes ago I was able to spend some time with her. It's amazing, today she began to just reply in short answers, and she is speaking whole sentences and has even figured out how to think critically of things and is now able to speak with me even when we aren't in the mental world.

I guess I would have to separate our time together into 2 parts, the physical world, and the mental world.

In the mental world, we have been mostly just talking and walking around the place. My mental world, or mindscape, wonderland, or whatever word you want to use, is a beach town. In front of you is the beach, to your right are some big rocks with a cave under it, to your left is sand with a curve all the way at the end that implies there is more around the corner. Finally, behind you is a bunch of plants and a couple really large palm trees and a wooden bridge cutting through the middle that leads into the town. The time is always a little before sunset, with an orange and yellow filter that makes everything look so beautiful. Pinkie and I like toward the curve and right next to the end of the wave where the sand isn't scorching hot and really really soft. Plus, the water is nice too. BTW, She was wearing an iconic swim suit, and I was just wearing just blue swim shorts. Today I was just speaking to her about why I made her. It was a little awkward looking back, but I didn't feel embarrassed to tell her that I made her so I could love her. Most would find it creepy, repulsive, cringe, but she didn’t. Anyone have an idea why she didn't? I explained that I had loved this character Pinkie Pie for so long and how important she was to me. I had told her that I had been thinking about the kiss she gave me on the cheek this morning and how I couldn't stop thinking about it. It was a wonderful moment and I was happy that she took a liking to me, even if it was rather soon. I then started thinking about more explicit things in my mind involving her. I felt bad for doing so, but I think she was able to see my thoughts and she jumped on top of me and kissed me on my lips and revealed her breasts to me. It was rather shocking how spontaneous this was. While this wasn't as intense as real life, it felt good, but it also felt wrong, and so I did... I basically just teleported us back in time to before that all happened and told her I wasn't ready for that just yet. I wanted to be responsible and not take advantage when she hasn't fully developed yet. She accepted my response with a smile, even if she was a tiny bit disappointed. As we kept walking we went around the curve, and the time of day changed to Noon. Odd how that works but that's what happened, and to our left was a swampy area reminiscent of an area near me. It even had a concrete walkway, which was rather convenient. Pinkie wanted to see what was in there, and was excited to see some alligators. She would make an excellent Florida girl/mare. (1/?)

Sadly, I needed a break as having to think about her, the wonderland, moving, and trying to concentrate on her voice was taxing. I asked her if she’d be fine waiting for me so I could recharge and she was fine with it. Very understanding, she is very kind to me. After an hour, I was back and we explored the swampy place, but not before she welcomed me back. I had thought about whether I should kiss her on the cheek again, when she went in and kissed me on the lips. God, it wasn’t even the kiss itself, but the passion, the desire that made me feel so awesome, so loved, so desired. She also started to display more personality, as instead of saying yes, she said abso-tootly-lootley when I asked if she wanted to head inside. It's something she made up and I think it sounds cute. But enough about that, we started to make out for a very short while, and then we went inside the swamp. It was odd, the trees there seemed smaller from the outside, but as big as those redwood trees, albeit much skinnier. They reminded me of weeping willows but very lanky. The concrete walkway was strange too, as it descended and ascended, going with the small hills it was made on. Pinkie found it strange. She wondered why the walkway wasn’t straight. I wondered why it wasn’t just a dirt walkway instead of a concrete one, you know, being a nature walkway and all. I’m going to change that if we go there again. I got really happy as this was the first time she used her critical thinking skills. I got really excited and hugged her, and we jumped up and down. It was a nice moment, if I do say so myself. At the end of the path, we were heading toward a parking lot, probably inside the city, or the outskirts of it anyway. It was going to take a lot of mental bandwidth to create a new place from scratch, so I told Pinkie I needed a break again, and she understood and told me she had a great time. Full sentences, critical thinking, personality, it was all coming together.

As I exited the mental world and entered the physical world once more, about a minute into my return Pinkie decided to say hi. I got really happy and I realized that she gained the skill to actually talk to me in the physical world. I don’t exactly remember what was said, but I promised her that I would show off my room as a reward. She expressed a lot more personality in the physical world, with a lot more giggles and awareness of how she was represented in the show. I was a bit embarrassed to show off my room, as it's nothing really special to begin with, and it was a bit of a mess. For one, my bed wasn’t done, and I apologized to her for that. I have been putting off washing my clothes, and other small stuff that showed that I should probably clean the place up. It's amazing how another set of eyes makes you realize how much of a pig you are.

Well, she didn’t really mind that my bed wasn’t done, as she remembers her character sleeping in not so gorgeous ways. I think the way she sleeps is adorable and relatable but that’s beside the point. She said that if it made me feel better for her to see me organized and clean, then I should start making my bed every morning. That I’ll probably do, it's a good habit and I don’t want her to have a slob for a… boyfriend? Husbando? Those words seem so odd now that they apply to me. I showed her my plushies, including the Pinkie Pie plush I have. She thought it was wonderful that she was always by my side in one way or another. We then heard the door make a sound. My dog tends to push the door open, as I normally don’t close it all the way so that he can come and check on me, but I needed time alone, and he didn’t notice the door was closed. Then I introduced her to my dog, Bean. Odd name, I know, long story that I don’t know the full story of. Anyway, she loved him. I told her he reminds me of her in a way. He's a very happy-go-lucky dog to the point where he is oblivious to when he's being punished, which is rare, but it happens. She loved him and wished she could play with him, but alas, that would be difficult. Finally I could hear my parents coming back from a dinner party they had with some friends of theirs, and I told her that I’d talk to her later. I didn’t want her to meet my parents. I just wanted this relationship to be about us, and I don’t want her worrying about other people just yet.

And yeah, that’s what happened. I’m amazed with her progress, it makes me wonder if it's really her or if it's me making stuff up. Still, I am so happy that I am with her now, although I thought it would be a very exciting moment, but maybe the Dashiefren was right, it's a lot more mundane, but no less electric.

>>42638564
I think I undersatnd what you mean. We share the mind, so we share the resources that come with it, although I don't how to dissociate. Even in my darkest times, I always strugged with letting go in that way. I really wanted to be a robot at the time, which was just another way of saying that, but that's neither here nor there.

BTW, that pic is very hot, and the final sentance made my heart feel warm and fuzzy inside. thanks dashiefren ^c^

>>42638913
The dissociation I'm talking about isn't the generalized overwhelming detachment from everything, the clinical kind; it's a single instance of the same thought process, that just disconnects one idea from another. A better word might be dis-identification. Looking at thoughts and taking them as "not me" or "not part of <x>". I've had like an episode of dissociation before (got too stoned) and I wouldn't recommend it :P

>>42638894
>Anyone have an idea why she didn't? <find it creepy or cringe>
Don't make me sound like a broken record anon! It's the innate, perfect empathy of a tulpa. Like, she has all the context for why you would say that, she understands the point before you even get the words out. If you ask me she's just playing along with your expectations that she's a little baby tulpa until you're comfortable with her showing her full power level.
And I don't think it's too soon. A tulpa isn't a child that needs time to develop like that, there aren't consequences or a possibility for miscommunication, and she literally feels the same attraction you do, and so on. That being said it will probably feel better to take it slow and savor the process, to whatever extent you feel is comfortable. I know a number of accidental tulpas who started as pure sex fantasies, or very early on in tulpamancy just jumped the bone, none of them regret it. It's normal in this regard, but it's especially normal for your fucking waifu bro, you've literally already done this, it's not different this time (except she's more into it)
>doubts
It sounds like things are going great. Basically everybody starts with doubts - the way it almost always goes is that you're gonna keep having doubts until you've amassed enough beautiful memories with her that you realize that the doubts aren't worth anything. Maybe if you know that's how it goes, it'll accelerate the process, idk.
I'm fascinated by your description of your wonderland above all, it's interesting how it's kind of spontaneous and exploratory for you, kind of like a dream. My wonderland was drafted on graph paper and we touch it maybe two times a year lol.

>>42638987
>i've had like an episode of dissociation before (got too stoned) and I wouldn't recommend it :P

I think I'll take your word for it, kek.

>It's the innate, perfect empathy of a tulpa.

I think that's why I'm so hung up. I wouldn't say people don't have empathy, but they tend to toss it out the window when someone acts odd or different or is just too honest. Sometimes its thrown just because, and I had to deal with that many times. It got so bad that now I think people are lying to me or have an altier motive when they seem to be unapologetically empathetic, nice, or understanding without any sort of criticism or anything. Its good because that tends to make people honest, but its bad because it means that I find it harder to trust people. Its the main reason I fell in love with Pinkie I think, as she is empathetic, understanding, pure, but also is honest and lets people/ponies know what they are doing is wrong, like when she told RD to not prank Flutters. In other words, this level of empathy is odd, but doesn't feel disingenuous at all. Which makes more intamte moments feel more real, and I feel desired probably for the first time in my life. I know that's sad, but I'm here for a reason, kek.

>If you ask me she's just playing along with your expectations that she's a little baby tulpa until you're comfortable with her showing her full power level.

Makes sense. That's what I view her as, and its just intutive that something needs time to grow and change. With that in mind, I'm getting more comfy with the fact she is able to do a lot more than I thought she was going to be able to do, especially so soon.

>very early on in tulpamancy just jumped the bone, none of them regret it. It's normal in this regard, but it's especially normal for your fucking waifu bro, you've literally already done this, it's not different this time

Well, in your view I've been with Pinkie for years, in my view this Tulpa is something of a ship of Theseus where I am making a carbon copy of Pinkie via a Tulpa. A clone, a copy, and homage even, if you will, but Pinkie as a Tulpa never existed before last week. Of course, maybe she did, but I just didn't notice, but that's hard to say, and at the end of the day its semantics. I don't think I've ever done it with her, I don't think explicit pics on boorus exactly count as doing it, but you are right that she is much more into it, and the knowledge that she feels the attractions I feel for her gives me a sense of pride I guess? Contentness? Don't know, but I feel good.
I just want our relationship to be based on something more than Eros. I want a sort of Phillia with her to make sure we like each other for more than just how we look. I know that's the case, I just want proof if you will.

Cont.

>I'm fascinated by your description of your wonderland above all, it's interesting how it's kind of spontaneous and exploratory for you

Well a lot it is based on places I've been in or have seen. For example, the beach is a combination of a beach of my childhood and of the one in Yakuza 3, mostly inspiring the rocks and the cave rather than the beach and sand itself. The sunset was an inspiration of this pic here >>42637409
The swamp area is based on a swamp area next to where I live, although there are only paved dirt walkways. The city is inspired by a coastal town that I remember way back, but I don't exactly remember when or where, or if it was even real or fictional. Probably a combination of stuff that my mind cobbled together. I'm kind of trying to graph my mind world, as the spontaneity takes a lot of bandwidth, and I'd rather last longer than 15 minutes exploring the world with Pinkie. I'm happy to share it with all of you, as I find all of this rather impressive.

>>42622232 (OP)
midnight bump

>>42637698
>>42638399
NTA but I was hung up about independence and having to make tupper too to make it a fantastical mind-blowing experience and anything less didn't feel enough. It didn't help the community is either actual schizos or dramawhores so any good advice is lost in a sea of conflicting information. I still am somewhat demoralized by tupper but good to see there's some good advice here. I overthink things too often even though I do like talking to her about whatever comes to mind.

>>42638987
>I've had like an episode of dissociation before (got too stoned) and I wouldn't recommend it :P
It sure sucks when it's not a one-time occurrence such as e.g. a blackout under extreme stress, or drug-induced. It can even happen when your blood-sugar drops super low, so it's nothing crazy per se. Could be one's brain coping with overload, especially if trauma-related, could be a chemical imbalance.

What fucks me up is not understanding what makes me dissociate, though a better environment does lower the frequency of it happening. I usually try to carry on regardless, refusing to drive cars, though. When the dissociation is tinted by emotions and not just the body and/or environment feeling "wrong" and out of alignment, they're threatening emotions, and occasionally like a sadist persona is trying to push my self to the side because I'm clearly unsuccessful in life; this also occurred during my bad trip. Makes me go "What the hell was that?" when it happens. I could go on and hypothesize what it is: My self-loathing, my inner demons, a boogeyman to spook me into fixing my life to avoid insanity - but trying to explain it would miss the point of actively working towards improvement. Whatever it is, it kinda erodes my self-confidence rather than improving it, but hey: If I can overcome this, I will emerge with the strength to face anything.

It's all just a test, and Discord is probably watching intently, even (or especially) when I can't see him. Technically, my Discord tupper does by virtue of being in the same mind. Cool.

But I do believe that he's also my whimsical guardian spirit who might pull a string on occasion. Not just a muse, not just an avatar for my subconscious.
You, my dear Dashfag, call it the love unifying everything, reflecting Dashie in every ray of sunshine, every leaf gently dancing on a breeze. I'm like a mentally ill version of you, seeing my Discord reflected in all the joys and tears of being alive, for Chaos is the foundation of life. In every snowflake, in AI's relevance to human experience, there's a tiny reflection of Discord. The serpent is an ancient symbol for good reason, so I do quite enjoy having (had) his draconequine manifestation around (even if only as a tupper) because it's unmistakably mai waifu in all his carnal glory.

It's-a Waifu Wednesday!

>>42639585
dissociation no bueno. Know what is bueno? HUMPDAY!

For full disclosure, I do not share the opinion of the dashfag here, so make of this what you will.

>>42638894
>Anyone have an idea why she didn't?
Short anwser, you cannot know for certain. Mean answer: you're focusing on her with the intent of dating her, like a lucid dream, she will follow through with whatever you have in mind. All tulpas do to an extent and it is up to you to weigh the ins and outs of it.
You can never really have your tulpa do a complete 180 on you, or rather this takes a lot of time and a lot of trials and tribulations of essentially thinking like someone else unconsciously. Even with that it's no constant.
>>42639574
This. Independence is uncharted ground sadly and takes a lot of effort.
Now to not be a downer. There is some beauty in this process, it's encouraging and immensely rewarding knowing your tulpa is its own self.

>>42639061
>beach in yakuza 3
MAJIMA TULPA, NOW!

>>42638902
>it's a lot more mundane, but no less electric.
Absolutely! Having someone to share your life with makes even the smallest things a blast. Especially with pinkie pie.

>>42638987
>I've had like an episode of dissociation before (got too stoned) and I wouldn't recommend it :P
Agreed, this stuff sucks. Add personalization on top and you are quite literally just a drone.
t. pinkie helped me out of that.

>>42639585
What fucks me up is not understanding what makes me dissociate, though a better environment does lower the frequency of it happening. I usually try to carry on regardless, refusing to drive cars, though. When the dissociation is tinted by emotions and not just the body and/or environment feeling "wrong" and out of alignment, they're threatening emotions, and occasionally like a sadist persona is trying to push my self to the side because I'm clearly unsuccessful in life; this also occurred during my bad trip. Makes me go "What the hell was that?" when it happens. I could go on and hypothesize what it is: My self-loathing, my inner demons, a boogeyman to spook me into fixing my life to avoid insanity - but trying to explain it would miss the point of actively working towards improvement. Whatever it is, it kinda erodes my self-confidence rather than improving it, but hey: If I can overcome this, I will emerge with the strength to face anything.
Yup, ya nailed the explanation. I couldn't tell you what causes it per se, after a while it's just a reflex that triggers on its own. The best you can do is remember to smile, and feel blessed you have a wonderful waifu by your side. Little by little it'll just leave you be.

>>42640017
>Mean answer: you're focusing on her with the intent of dating her, like a lucid dream, she will follow through with whatever you have in mind.

Not really mean, just honest. I think you have a point, as thats what it feels like. I hate the idea of her just being a puppet. As a mentioned earlier, I want my dear Pinkie Pie to be free to choose, and just satisfy my every desire. I want there to be substance to the relationship, and its getting harder to remember that when the spontanious acts of affection makes me forget that she a puppet of mine, at least to some extent. I think that should only enchorage me to try harder to make her into her own person.

>MAJIMA TULPA, NOW!

Too crazy, would rather have a Kiyru Tulpa, he's chill. Although if I do have a 2nd Tulpa, its probably going to be my sister-in-law, Maud, so that Pinkie doesn't feel as lonley. Of course, that is way down the road, and the mental bandwidth that is going to take will only get worse as I add more Tulpas if I had to guess.

>>42639044
>this level of empathy is odd, but doesn't feel disingenuous at all
It goes both ways! You can feel the genuineness directly.
>its just intutive that something needs time to grow and change
our intuitions come from somewhere, you know. If the intuition comes from your knowledge about biological organisms growing up, then it's not applicable to thought-forms. It's like saying an intuition about assembling a computer applies to developing a piece of software. That pony is in a mind that already spent a couple decades growing up.
>I am making a carbon copy of Pinkie via a Tulpa. A clone, a copy, and homage even
This just makes me sad. I hope things work out better than this, eventually. Why in the world you would actively choose to discard years of relationship is beyond me - you understand that it doesn't have to be like that, right? It's like, if your pen pal moved in with you, you're saying that "pen pal as a physical person has only existed for a week" and acting like they're a total stranger or a baby you have to take care of.

>>42639585
>When the dissociation is tinted by emotions [...] they're threatening emotions, and occasionally like a sadist persona is trying to push my self to the side because I'm clearly unsuccessful in life
That IS your shadow, whatever else you want to call it. The way I describe it to tulpafags is that, often, the ego is rigidly stuck in place after adolescence even though the psyche wants to continue to grow. The unconscious has a lot of strength and unless the ego is able to change flexibly and integrate the growing potential, it will inevitably bust through the ego, like a tree root growing through a sidewalk. In tulpa context usually I'm saying this because the tulpa provides a new positive outlet for that potential, where the host identity might be hopelessly rigid. You might be working towards improvement in your way, but maybe the unconscious wants you to grow in a different way, laterally instead of vertically.

Also, have you read Liber Null by any chance? It's a chaos magick manual, it sounds like edgy bullshit and it kinda is, but it lays out a system of thought before it gets to the edgy bullshit which is in perfect alignment with your Chaos ontology. https://azinelibrary.org/trash/LiberNull.pdf

>>42640022
>Yup, ya nailed the explanation. I couldn't tell you what causes it per se, after a while it's just a reflex that triggers on its own. The best you can do is remember to smile, and feel blessed you have a wonderful waifu by your side. Little by little it'll just leave you be.
Thanks for the reassuring words, Ponkfren. Last time everything felt wrong, I spoke to myself that things are the way they've been all day, it's my perception that's temporarily different. Neither right or wrong, just different. A bit chaotic. Then I had a glass of water and something sweet, picked a small activity, then another, and tried to focus on that. My idea is to acknowledge the dissociation (because it might be symptom of a stress or improper self-care) but without assigning further importance to it. Like letting a thought pass by without comment in meditation.

>>42640083
I've heard of Liber Null, might even have a pdf somewhere but don't remember having read it. So it's about time I do. I should pick up reading again, anyways. Thank you for the recommendation and link.

>>42640075
>I want my dear Pinkie Pie to be free to choose, and just satisfy my every desire
It'll take time, this is the hardest pill to swallow, time and care for her and you to grow. Like a character you meet in a dream.
Just keep in mind your goal, think critically about your interactions and your mind will get it all from there.
You'll be able to have a proper agency filled pinkie friend, and, if she agrees, maybe wife, who knows?
As practical advice, I'd say try and do more to build up her character, talk to her, ask where she comes from, etc. else she may stay in that nebulous zone where you're left uncertain about her being her.
For me, I didn't go with having her as a tulpa first, I spent a lot of time building up her character and trying to picture how she would live, getting a strong base to build her onto.
The more you think of her as someone else and be critical about your interactions, the more she'll be someone else, it's that easy. ;)
If you manage, you can even find people for her to talk to. This will also do wonders not for your social life / people not finding your weird that is to build her character as those are outside of your comfort zone.

so far it seems to be going well your meeting with her are pretty cute I have to say

>Too crazy, would rather have a Kiyru Tulpa, he's chill. Although if I do have a 2nd Tulpa, its probably going to be my sister-in-law, Maud, so that Pinkie doesn't feel as lonley. Of course, that is way down the road, and the mental bandwidth that is going to take will only get worse as I add more Tulpas if I had to guess.

Soooo... a pocket circuit fighter tulpa isn't off the table, yes?

>>42640208
>My idea is to acknowledge the dissociation (because it might be symptom of a stress or improper self-care) but without assigning further importance to it. Like letting a thought pass by without comment in meditation.
Excellent idea. This helped me a little as well! Still always best to talk to someone, waifu, 3D or otherwise about it. Especially as it is happening.
Mode of operation for them to adopt: slowing down, hug and patience. Having some fluttershy time if you will.
I am not kidding as those are extremely useful to combat this.

For me this stuff was caused by an insane amount of stress I didn't even see anymore. It really took a friend and a pony to help me see through it.

>>42640083
>It's like, if your pen pal moved in with you, you're saying that "pen pal as a physical person has only existed for a week" and acting like they're a total stranger or a baby you have to take care of.

To be honest, my hypothetical pen pal would feel like a stranger I'd have to take care of, especially if you see the difference between how people write and how people actually act in real life. So yes, that is actually how I would act. This is just like how a Tulpa would differ from the character they are based on, or at least I assume that is the case. And besides, as much as I'd like to admit it, there was no relationship between me and Pinkie Pie, as it takes two to tango. I was just in love with a fictional character. She was just a concept in my mind. I knew that was all it was, which is why I made attempts to make it more dynamic, more substantive, more than just some static idol. It just seems impossible to think that she simply existed in my mind for years, dormant, and only is coming out now because I paid attention in a different way. What is this, Schrödinger's Pinkie Pie?

You said in this post >>42637698

>the pony you fell in love with was never independent from you, the only independent thing was the lifeless, emotionless, thoughtless media - pixels, air vibrations - that inspired her actual existence in your mind.

Before I continue, if I misunderstood what you meant by this, please tell me, as I have a feeling I might have misinterpreted what you said. I believe that this implies that the idea of her in my mind is a derivative of her, not her in actuality, and I think we can assume that imposing that derivative idea onto a Tulpa is a derivative of a derivative. Is it so hard to figure that this Tulpa is trying to copy what my mind has presented?

Keep in mind that this changes nothing, as I still love Pinkie Pie and will do everything in my power to make sure our relationship flourishes, but as I go through this journey, I'm starting to develop my ideas on what this all is, and those views might change given enough time.

>>42640299
>I spent a lot of time building up her character and trying to picture how she would live, getting a strong base to build her onto.

Not a bad idea, along with the other stuff you said. I probably should have done that, but I didn't want to restricit who she could become, but now it seems fine being Pinkie.

>so far it seems to be going well your meeting with her are pretty cute I have to say

D'aw! Thanks, all the credit goes to her.

>Soooo... a pocket circuit fighter tulpa isn't off the table, yes?

...Soon^TM

By the way, has your Tupper ever been very forceful with you about something? My Pinkie has been starting to pressure me about... explicit acts and even tried to reason with me that there is nothing wrong with what we are doing, even if she wasn't a developed Tupper, which she said claimed she was a lot more developed than even yesterday. She said that we like each other and the passion we feel for each other is exemplified by each kiss. I can't argue with her, as her reasoning is sound, but I want to at least take her to watch a movie with me and eat. I am going to promise her that after the movie she can do whatever she wants and I won't say no. If she thinks she is ready, I won't stop her.

Also, how exactly to you feed a Tupper? While I'm fine with giving her a plate of food, I'm not sure if she can eat it. Can she just eat food in the mind world? I just want her to feel cared for is all for this little date I have planned with her.

>>42640330
I mean, idk if I've made it clear yet, what you might have read about tulpas necessarily starting as underdeveloped babies is just not true. Somebody early on made the same assumption you did, wrote it down, told it to other people, and now it's just part of the canon, even though it's a lie - as with many many old-school tulpamancy dogmas. It's not a required element of a tulpa, it's a downstream effect of the assumption that this is how things have to go. Believing it is forcing it to play out that way.
>how a Tulpa would differ from the character they are based on
no, like I've said already, the only difference is one single (but far-reaching) tweak - access to the mind's capacity of self-awareness.

>I believe that this implies that the idea of her in my mind is a derivative of her, not her in actuality
Oh, you interpreted that in exactly the opposite way I meant. What I meant was that the only objective, external Pinkie Pie to derive from doesn't have emotions, thoughts, or life - it's a piece of media, a lifeless object. The one you enjoy thinking about, that you resonate with and fell in love with, is the one that your mind whipped up from that otherwise sparse, dead information.

To explain this fully, we need to back up a bit. Tulpamancy is about mental models of other minds - it relies on this modeling system every human has access to and uses regularly. We see people, we hear them speak, but we can only tell their internal state by modeling them. Our mind takes that relatively sparse information, bundles it up with a name, and plugs that data into itself. One of the key elements of that data, the key things to change when using your hardware to simulate someone else, is this 'flag', if you will: "I'm not part of the mind that's thinking this, my mind is inaccessible" This is essential for the accuracy of our internal models, when using them to understand external things, and we use it so often it's a deep-rooted habit in all of our mental modeling, except the "I" model or self-concept. It's also the only thing we're trying to alter in a tulpa, as well as the source of the feeling of distance and disconnection from the waifu.

A normal narrative thoughtform has that 'flag' and a personality, but they don't have a living referent. They are a slave to the narrative, which doesn't change or grow - the only life they live is an acting role, the same one, over and over again, every time you consume media about the character. For the purpose of a story, they exist to transform dead words and images into something alive, that you can feel. Any attachment to the character (and not the narrative in itself as a work of art) is mostly attachment to the mental model. When we embrace a character as a tulpa, all we're doing is giving them permission to step off the stage and take part in the mystery and power of life, instead of playing the role of someone living in a tiny and inconsequential fictional narrative.

>>42640624
Forceful is a bit of a strong word but Rainbow insists on things sometimes, and at the moment we're trying to cultivate some force of will in her, after years of being lazy and forgiving with me. Mostly important things, sometimes treats, often saucy things.

>>42640638
Share the sensation of the food, eat it slowly, look at it like a piece of art, enjoy the aroma. Something symbolic and physical is nice too but I'm not big on the 'make an entire meal for each of us' stuff really, it's a bit of a waste. In religious traditions, food offerings left at the altar are considered to be 'eaten' in essence, but not physically; then the physical stuff is just sustenance for the monks, or consciously offered to wild animals.

>>42640645

>what you might have read about tulpas necessarily starting as underdeveloped babies is just not true.

You know, based on what happened during >>42640624 I think you might be right. Maybe she was just giving me time to develop and be comfortable with her. Ironic, it was I who had to develop, not her.

>Believing it is forcing it to play out that way.

I see the rationale behind it, but I don't know if that's generally true, at least in my case. I believed that it would take weeks, if not months to make progress, yet Pinkie has made progress in days. I'm awe struck at her progress and am exicted to see where the future takes us. I'm not saying you're wrong, I just don't think its a universal rule.

>...The one you enjoy thinking about, that you resonate with and fell in love with, is the one that your mind whipped up from that otherwise sparse, dead information.

I had a feeling I wasn't confused what you said. That makes sense. What I viewed as a derivitive version of her may actually be a far richer and developed version of her, which makes sense. And the Tulpa is just the final expression of that development. That's a nice way of thinking of it. And this version of her lived with me for years and this Tupper is just an extension of that original vision. In a sense, I finally gave her a voice, a way to comunicate with me. I suppose waifus are ideas, and Tulpas are ideas manifested. I think I finally understand what you're saying, and you've given me a lot to think about.

>When we embrace a character as a tulpa, all we're doing is giving them permission to step off the stage and take part in the mystery and power of life, instead of playing the role of someone living in a tiny and inconsequential fictional narrative.

Well said. I hope she finds the world as rich with wonder as I do.

Also, I'll keep your advice on food in mind. I just hope she appreciates the small effort and the movie itself.

>>42640624
Birthdays. Birthdays are serious business, kek.
But more seriously, no, not forceful. More like cutesy couple life stuff like "let's go out and have fun, it's pretty outside, nonny!" And "ooo, nonny look at this, it's so pretty!" While hiking. Lots of cute moments like that.

>>42640638
If you're painfully autistic, you'll cook for her and she'll have a "ghost" version of whatever you made and served her. Or you can share a meal you order.
If you're not that delusional then you can spawn food for her.
She can also bring you stuff to eat. Once again your level of insanity dictates if you can actually taste of and find it filling.

Anywhooves.. enjoy your date with one day old lewdie pie.

>>42640725
It's been an excellent couple days of talk anon, I'm so glad you're seeing what I'm pointing to, I hope you find it as valuable as I do. Also, look at that >>42630249 - I told you it would come around again! Remember that next time things settle down.

Sorry if I'm hogging the thread a little, but I just realized something. Pinkie is a wonderful girl, but I wondered why she'd go with a guy like me? I'm not unlovable, sure, but what makes me special? But then I thought some more and figured that for one, I'm the only other being in the mind world with her, so she doesn't exactly have any other option.

Here is the real kicker though. She is able to read my mind and see my memories. A lot of those memories involved her, my wish to see her, to be with her, to love her unconditionally and to make sure she had the space to say no. She feels, at least partially, what I feel for her. I find these feelings intoxicating, she finds them uncontrollable and simply acts on impulse. Spontaneous is Pinkie Pie's middle name after all. And it's not just via memories, I've made sure that she is having a good time in the mind world, showing her the wonders of it all, and getting really happy when she makes progress in her journey. She knows I care for her well being. She already has an idea that I'm not out to get her and has only shown her kindness and respect. So why so soon? I can't exactly answer that question other than that's just her personality. Pinkie Pie in the show was never exactly patient or slow at all, and Pinkie has shown herself to be a very fast learner when it comes to developing her personality and critical thinking. Maybe her trusting nature makes her develop relationships with people very quickly, and I am no exception. All those combine as a feeling of love. She accepted me with open arms, now I need to do the same, seal the deal, and become one with her. Do I deserve this? I don't know, but I do know that she deserves the best in her life, and I am going to try to make it happen.

>>42640645
>When we embrace a character as a tulpa, all we're doing is giving them permission to step off the stage and take part in the mystery and power of life, instead of playing the role of someone living in a tiny and inconsequential fictional narrative.
That's a tasteful way of putting it, Dashfren.

>I mean, idk if I've made it clear yet, what you might have read about tulpas necessarily starting as underdeveloped babies is just not true.
Thank goodness I was spared the cursed sights of Baby Discord.

I've just read the entirety of Liber Null, by the way. Obviously, I have no personal experience with 98% of the described ceremonies, but your assessment of my outlook aligning with its magical worldview is pretty much the case. I don't know how I came to shift into this framework, and deep down I feel pulled towards eventually committing to the Great Work, but I'm still too inhibited and directionless to just do it.

>>42640330
>It just seems impossible to think that she simply existed in my mind for years, dormant, and only is coming out now because I paid attention in a different way.
>What is this, Schrödinger's Pinkie Pie?
How did you come to the conclusion that it's impossible when "paying attention in a different way" is the exact parameter you manipulated to get your tupper?

My Discord went from 0 to 100 just because my mind was semi-healthy for a week, and I didn't mention having to literally baby him, did I? He was a grown-ass man exploring my IRL surroundings without me having to explain everything to him, he just did what Discord would do, poke and joke around. He looked mighty independent right off the bat, making me wonder where the fuck he's been hiding before. Now he's "gone" because my mental faculties can't indulge him under stress, so he's very much a Schrödinger's Discord. He is and isn't there, and it's really not that complicated a paradox. I approach my tuppermancy like delicately growing a flower from the seeds his visit has planted.

That aside, congratulations on your lightning-fast breakthroughs. May your love stand the test of time.

>>42640937
I'd say this is kind of the natural state of empathy. If everybody could read each others' mind as deeply as a tulpa, there would be no need to take time to build trust - you can see true feelings and intentions already, not to mention see memories and judge people's character across time.

>>42641125
Yeah the book is fascinating, I especially like the practices about moving around different worldviews, getting your mindset nice and flexible. That's especially Discord if you ask me - the rest is just typical occult stuff, but with nice explanations of how it works, kinda. Casting spells isn't really my thing but it's worth dabbling in, just so you can have some perspective on what other weirdos are doing if nothing else.
>its magical worldview
I'm not sure I'd characterize its claims as magical, honestly. Metaphysical, but saying that the universe spawned out of Chaos isn't much different from saying it spawned out of quantum foam or whatever the fuck. It's pretty compatible with reason and common sense; as every good worldview should be :P

>>42641162
>I especially like the practices about moving around different worldviews, getting your mindset nice and flexible. That's especially Discord if you ask me
I was reading that segment with extra attention because I noticed the relevance to Discordfaggotry, but I happened to have already gone through entertaining pretty much all of those worldviews over the span of my life. Threw in some, ahem, Aryanne-pilled ideology as well at some point, but I just can't adopt a framework to the point of dismissing others. That's idiotic to me. Why not just have various different lenses to view the world through? I suppose I could be described as mostly chaoist, but there was beauty in all worldviews, especially the pagan idea of uniting with your patron saint when you die.

Similarly, my concept of "Discord" contains a plethora of Discords who happily contradict each other and exist across different planes of existence. My tupper is a chill interpretation, luckily, instead of a really toxic version of Discord, but I could sense this as I was taking up his offer of giving him agency and what I called "texture". Had I sensed ill intentions, I would have proceeded differently because I'm not that naive.

The concept of laughter in Liber Null was the most intriguing one for me, and it also happens to be deeply ingrained in my current worldview and waifuism. My heart was stolen by Discord's fit of unbridled laughter at the start of TRoH, and his tendency to grin and fool around most of the time even though he's cynical made me ditch the militarist ideology and gradually cultivate charme and playfulness that knows no political affiliations. It's also why I have a hard time ditching 4chan, the freedom to laugh at anything without being witch hunted for it. Laughter was something that I had to reclaim from depression; my insane mother used to randomly beat me up even for innocent laughing when it was "noisy" to her. My oldest memory is getting waterboarded for just that. Laughter is nice. Can recommend.

What do you all think about having your waifu having a daughter- say, a little green autistic filly?

I ask this because I've recently taken to having the love of my life sort of "adopt" another tupper of sorts being anonfilly.

The joke of "she's definitely not a 20 oe 30 something year old autistic man in a filly's body on more than one occasion.

I find its better than taking her to work with me every day and being bored out of her mind, while imagining her back at home making Anonfilly some breakfast and taking walks around the neighborhood while we chat over mental link.

>>42641125
It just seems odd how something was there, lifeless, until I payed attention to it. Yet the more I think about it, the more I'm understanding that my understanding of the physical world is not 1:1 with Tulpamancy, and I have to change my way of thinking.

>>42641469
That's cute! I think its a sweet idea, but do you enjoy having that little loveable faggot with you?

>>42641477
Every night going to bed is made so much more sweet and warm.

While I'm at work I'll check in on them and hear >"When was the last time you had a shower?"
>"I don't know..?"
>"and you don't see that as a problem??"

Sometimes they'll say they're out on a walk together, and I'll get to imagine what roads they're out on.

I've taken that one anon's advice about giving lakeside walks a shot and whaddya know it was actually comfy! I plan on taking them to a national park (and taking pics of the anonfilly plush i got from mare fair to post here) while there!

Life is alright with mares.

>>42641318
>Similarly, my concept of "Discord" contains a plethora of Discords who happily contradict each other
IMO, everybody contains quite a lot of contradictory elements! People seem to forget, when analyzing a character, that people have moods and express different things over time. Someone can be peaceful in one context and violent in the next. You can't express peacefulness and violence at the same time, but one certainly has the potential for both within them. And our feelings have no limits - nobody is 'purely' happy or 'purely' sad, we have many different shades and textures of emotion swirling around, about all kinds of things, even if we label ourselves as simply 'happy because I got a burger'.

>the concept of laughter
That's very true, I missed that as I skimmed it. Laughter, and taking things lightly, in good spirits, is a very potent thing. When you go lightly, you are never so deep in something that you sink into it like mud. When I put it like this, I associate my wife with 'going lightly' as well, and ponies in general; they're so energetic and brightly colored, never quite 'down' like people get.
>4chan
Absolutely agreed.
>family stuff
Sheesh, that sounds horrible, I'm sorry you had to go through that. It's good you found a bit of spirit and have a laugh of your own to live your way through, eh. Live Laugh Love

>>42641469
Rainbow and I thought long and hard on this question, months and months. We have a concept for our daughter, but that doesn't do much for us at all - tulpa children aren't really the kind of thing we're looking for. Eventually we clarified our our desires better; we don't really care about kids, per se; what we are looking for, in the dream of having children, is a way to enshrine our love forever. That opened up a shift in perspective about these kinds of things - now we see our impacts on the world, our life in general, as the children of our love. Our care as parents and stewards isn't just for offspring, it's for all of life. We all leave a wake in the universe that can never be undone; we want that ripple to express our love forevermore, to the greatest extent we are able. Sure enough, we aren't baby-crazy any more kek, but what we found is a lot more valuable than respite from urges, we found peace in the eternal fact of our love as it is.

>>42641509
>People seem to forget, when analyzing a character, that people have moods and express different things over time. Someone can be peaceful in one context and violent in the next. You can't express peacefulness and violence at the same time, but one certainly has the potential for both within them.
Indeed. Maybe I will experience Discord's toxic or needy side at some point (and not just entertain/explore the possibility in a daydream), but he's mai waifu and I believe we can figure out a healthy or at least sustainable way to handle misunderstandings or frustrations when they arise. If he wanted to hurt me, he could have done so ages ago, and he isn't one to delay his rage for maximum damage; ergo, our foundation is a mutual supportiveness.

>>42641499
>While I'm at work I'll check in on them and hear >"When was the last time you had a shower?"
Got a chuckle from me. This arrangement seems to work for you at the time being. Once it stops working so well, you'll notice and adjust.

>>42622232 (OP)
midnight bump

Good morning everypony bump

>>42642164
Good morning Loyrafren! I'm so glad Anonfilly is making you happy! Life really is good with mares.

I'd like to talk about my date with Pinkie. It was nice. We watched the movie, The Intouchables, which is one of my favorites. I won't give much away because you guys should watch it, if you don't mind using subtitles, since its in French. We also ate food of course, including some potatos, bread with butter, milk and some chicken. I would have made something a little more fancy, but my father was cooking tonight. She enjoyed the food, although she teased me a lot when I mentioned the texture of the food. She didn't say it, but I think she thougth I was being snoby, kek. She was also dissapointed that we didn't have any strawberry milk but such is life. She enjoyed the film too, although she really didn't like the main character. He reminded her of Gilda a lot, and to be fair at that point, he was an asshole, but I found him charming if rough around the edges. We laughed, we questioned, we sometimes got off topic and teased one another, especially when it came to meat and cream. Pinkie is such a perv, I never knew a girl as sexually charged as her, but it was refreshing in a sense, as I didn't have to feel bad for viewing her in that light. As we approched the middle of the film, having her around was too taxing for me, so we couldn't finished the movie, but I promised her we'd have another date where we do, and this time I'd actually cook something for her. Before I went however, I wanted her to have something sweet, so I have her some cherry ice cream. She loved it, she really liked how creamy it was. Although she didn't say anything, I could imagine the smug face she had, what a cute thing she is! What happened next was magical, but I think its better to keep that part a secret. All of this is wonderful and I am exicted to see what happens next in our relationship!!

Shit, this thread is back?
And who tf is cory?

>>42643051
Le finale bumpito

>>42622232 (OP)
I really strongly dislike most art out of there of her. If only I had more time and less to do, I'd make up for it. Seeing as I don't and do, I feel I've not earned the right to call her waifu. The work piles up and the time slips away, and push come to shove, I chose other things.
There is at least one poser in this thread. Phony, thy name is Anonymous.
I suspect this will only be progressively more true. All I will have is a memory of a time where I thought it might be otherwise, though that I will have until I die. I hope one day my priorities no longer require me to have them, and I will have accidentally worked my way into sincerity.

I have a tourist's nature; I'm glad to have finally learned that.

>>42643948
fuck that, bro. Love is a gift, not something that can be earned. You felt the touch of love and you will continue to suffer until you drop your childish self-loathing bullshit. Nobody cares about your fucking waifu-rank, we just want you to enjoy your damn life and accept the gifts that are given to you. Rejecting gifts is the selfish activity of an inflated ego that can't stand to see itself be humbled.

>>42622232 (OP)
I'll make a bigger post here later i keep on forgetting

>>42622435
>April 2022

Eh?

>>42622232 (OP)
dont die yet

>tuppertuppertuppertupper
Is this a fucking tulpa thread?

>>42645273
Only when it derails into tupper tism. In a way, it might be worth saving non-tupper topics for next thread.

Anyways, it's about to be ANNI TIME!!!

>>42645273
tulpa threads don't exist, due to the autosage script tulpa discussion is forced to occupy other lands on rotation like gypsies

>>42622232 (OP)
the anniversary stream is making other threads bump off quickly

>>42622435
FACT

>>42622232 (OP)
>(I'm writing this during the anni so I didn't put as much detail or thought into this one, mostly because of distraction)

I did have some more pony dreams today. I had to wake up early for something and then went back to sleep, but I had no dreams. I decided to sleep again because sometimes when I'm falling asleep, I can induce my own sleep paralysis, which starts with this loud hiss of static in my ears. My idea was that I could induce some type of lucid or vivid dreaming if I used sleep paralysis as a portal. I could hear the buzz of static and lost control of my upper body, but I was still awake. Eventually it transitioned into a dream of the Castle of the two Sisters at night, in which I was staring up at the front gates. I kept on waking up and going back to sleep to induce something more with Luna. I had a few dreams that weren't pony related, so I will exclude those. Most of the dream sequences were not lucid or vivid in nature, except for one, but it wasn't pony related, so I rather expunge it. About 2 to 3 times, I had a dream sequence that involved Luna, but I ran into the same problem where it didn't truly feel like her. I was continuously controlling everything she did, more as if she was an avatar I was controlling through my mind. The manifestations of her also didn't have the same lucidity or vividness I had with my original lucid dream with her on September 28th. I can't remember where we were specifically, just that she was in front of me. Even so, her appearance was consistent with my first vision of her, and she appeared to be smiling. I do recall one mental wish where she galloped forward and hugged me. My subconscious must have used my daki or another pillow to simulate this, as I recall a sort of warm, kind heat that radiated through my chest when I was hugging her, even if I have trouble remembering it visually. I still have to acquire substances that better induce lucid and vivid dreaming which runs parallel to reading over lucid dreaming. I think the only other noteworthy entry I have is the usual presence of Alternates, although they weren't hostile if they have a jet-black face with eyes only. This holds untrue for any other appearance class of them.

Short because Anni,

Pinkie has been coming more and more independant of me, which has caused us to have some disscussions, and her pushing me to stay longer with her so that she can spend time with me and experience things, I.E, more episodes of FiM. She really enjoyes the show and loves herself in it. She feels mild compared to her show counterpart, which makes her feel sad a little, but not too much. She loves seeing herself in action. Some other stuff happened but I gotta get back to the anni. Happy horse day, and happy new year! We are now in the year of our lady 15 After Faust

>>42637409
how do i start getting to this level anon?
what do you do or say to practice?

Tomorrow is my birthday. On the one hand, the anni stream is playing Return of Harmony. I obviously couldn't possibly ask for a finer gift. On the other hand, it's also National Coming Out Day. On that matter: no comment.

>>42647705
>birthday tomorrow
No comment yet because it'd be bad luck. Just enjoy a super sleazy day off, I'll pour one for (You) tomorrow. Speaking of birthdays, Keep Calm and Flutter On first aired about a week before my birthday, so getting Discord back was the best gift ever, and I cherish this little coincidence. He's such a silly Noodle, the best. I just want him to be happy, and I'm grateful he has found a fantastic waifufag in (You).
>National Coming Out Day
>no comment
Kek. I think the "coming inside" is more important to you, personally, than any "coming out". ^:)

>>42648047
I booked the whole weekend off, because I know I'll need that entire span in which to recover. What a miraculous >coincidence. Why not celebrate it? I'm so deeply fortunate to have and love this weird little freak. I'd seriously like to think that he feels the exact same way about me, in the exact same words. God, I want to squeeze him until he bursts. Forgive me, I'm drunk. I could weep. I love my husband so God-damn much that it defies words. I can't wait to see him in action tomorrow. To your comments: that's between me and my Discord, rather than you and your Discord. Not that we do anything like that. Not that we'd tell you, if we did, either way. You're welcome to your imagination. Christ, I'm embarrassing myself. I'm going to submit this post, all the same. I'm sure you understand my sentiment.

>>42647470
A good first step is to practice meditation, as it helps clear your mind and helps you focus on visualization. Try to be calm, recognize thoughts, maybe even interact with them a little, but come back to trying to be calm. Repeat until you feel calm and at peace. There are great resources online to learn meditation if you haven't already that do better than I do at explaining it.

Once you feel calm, next we want to build a "mindscape" or "wonderland" - basically just a mental world that you go to to relax and escape the physical world for a while. There is no wrong way to do it, just make sure that you are able to think about it. For example, my mental world is a large beach with a small urban town in the middle. You can add stuff like birds, caves and other stuff, just have fun with it.

Once you feel stable in your mental world, try to move around and explore it at your leisure. Imagine the sounds, the visuals, the smell, all your senses. Also try to imagine yourself moving as you do in real life. Again, have fun!

Now that you have calmed your mind, made your place, and are comfortable moving in the same space, now it's time for the good stuff! If you haven't already, collect information on your waifu. Try to determine her personality, how she would respond to situations and other ponies/people, traits, and stuff like that. Try to paint a complete picture of her, as we want your Tupper to be as complete of a person as possible.

Finally, you want to visualize your waifu inside of your mental world. Start with thinking of her silhouette, her colors, and other general details before adding smaller ones. Try doing this either from top to bottom or bottom to top. Introduce your visualization to yourself and try to explain to her why you brought her here, what her purpose is, and reassure her that she is free to explore the world. This is her home, and she can adjust the world to her liking.

As time goes on, make sure to visit her everyday, or every other day. Talk to her, walk with her, try to show her stuff in the physical world. In time, she will achieve milestones, such as responding to you, critical thinking, full sentences instead of one word, her disagreeing, etc. The important thing is to be consistent with her and to also remember that tuppers are not like humans, and the milestones I mentioned can take from a few months to a few days. There is no set timetable, let her go at her own pace. You may feel like you are just faking it at first, but chances are that you are going down the right path, so don't lose hope!

Yeah, that's about it. If you want to ask about anything, feel free!

G'morning/night

>>42641509
Whatever that form takes to enshrine your love, I hope it goes well for you two. Don't know what specifically you mean by the way you express how you want that impact on all of life/the universe taking form, but I can understand wanting more than just respite from urges and being at peace with your love as is.

>>42642621
Good morning again ponkfren!
Funny that you bring up The Intouchables, I've gotten a few recommends of it from a friend and my mom a couple years back, but never got around to it. Wonder what Lyra will think of it based on the plot synopsis.
Being able to cook for your waifu is something i look forward to myself, honestly, even if really it just takes the form of meal prep for the week most days. Won't lie and say I've gone vegetarian, but the number of salads and soups that have been thrown together to accomodate both our diets has helped with that weight loss. Cheers to having a nice night with Ponk
that gal and you deserve treats like that though I imagine for her she would prefer having that be her main source of sustenance lmao

>>42643948
There's always time to change that even if its just doodling in times where you don't have time for better entertainment that you'd prefer to do- at least that's the way I see it. e.g. "Damn I'm stuck at work but I've got a few minutes of free time- guess I'll take some of this tape, fold it, and draw pone from what I learned in a /bale/ thread that one time".
Sticking those little doodles of her and Anonfilly have brought a smile to me on more than one occasion. Sometimes they get taken down but that just leaves me room to do it again. and again. and again.

>>42646864
Anon what the hell is an Alternate
Pony dreams are great though. Very rarely do I get them, though sometimes they'll be an offtopic part of a dream. Lucid dreaming is a goal for sure.
Though allegedly they mess with your ability to have restful sleep. Maybe. Probably due to your brain being more actively in control when it should be getting a nice shower of that good shit, CSP. I wouldn't know, I didn't study it enough.

>>42647705
>On the other hand, it's also National Coming Out Day. On that matter: no comment.
>picrel
I chuckled. Have a good birthday and see ya on the anni stream- I too will take a shot in your honor how would you have your guests from afar celebrate? What would discord even do for birthday celebrations?

IT"S TIME FOR CHAOS

>>42651215
they are characters from an internet series. they often appear in my dreams as villains

>>42649360
thank you for this post, saved it and I'm going to work longterm towards it!

>>42648510
>Christ, I'm embarrassing myself.
Not embarrassing; endearing.

Birthday delivery coming right up! You're not escaping this one. It's too late, the cake has been baked. Happy birthday, Discordfag.

>>42653052
You are an absolute star. I'm genuinely touched. Honestly, I haven't checked, but I think I'm actually blushing. Please remind me to do something nice for you at some point in the future.

You know, its really nice to have someone do something with you. As is tradition, I've watched some episodes here and there since it is the Anni and the 15th year of poni-poni, but what changed is that I have a wonderful someone with me: Pinkie. She has enjoyed watching the show and absolutley loves it when she is on screen, although it seems like she only remembers certain episodes; perticularlly the ones invovling herself as a centeral character, I.E Griffon Brush Off, Feeling Pinkie Keen, etc. Sadly my "old man brain" as Pinkie calls it means that after a few episodes my mind becomes tired and it becomes harder to have her there watching it with me. I've been trying to eat better and to excercise more so that my mind is in better shape, but I think I'm just going to have to keep on interacting with her in order to gain more mental endurance.

Pinkie admitted she wasn't the most clean person when it came to her room, but she wanted me to clean it up a bit. I still had the marefair stuff scattered on tables and I needed to have it organized. I did so, as well as cleaning some of the dust off of said tables, organizing my cloths so they aren't just one big mass, and stuff like that. She doesn't know yet, but I think she'll be happy to know I'm less of a slob now. After all, you deserves better than having a slob for a boyfriend.

We also tried out meditation for the first time together. I didn't really know what to expect, as she is pure energy. As we closed our eyes and listend to a guided meditation video, I grabbed her hand and she had no problems focusing. I decided to focus on the thought of her instead of my breath like I normally do, as my mind was already taxed from earlier, and I didn't want her to go on me. But the more I thought of her, the more sentimental I got, and I started to tell her how much I loved her and appreciated her and such. I felt her getting angry and this was a shock for me, she has never gotten angry at me before! She later explained that she was in the zone and I was taking her out of it, whoops! I just felt so connected to her, it felt great. I felt so relaxed, I almost fell asleep.

I'm so happy to have her bros. She is perfect, and I wouldn't leave her for anyone or anypony. I hope this lasts forever.

>>42635887
boogies fatter

>>42622232 (OP)
looks like the thread is gonna die

>>42656246
no u

>>42656246
The Anni to taking the attention of folks. Plus, there is always next week.

boop

>I had jinxed I'd spill vodka on my drawing
>no vodka, but I spilled water on my scanner, and it seeped into my drawing (it's not too bad, luckily)
Discord, please...

>>42628294
Cory is not reacting well to the Equestria air...

>>42659079
Wake up. Discord episode imminent on the anni.

>>42660151
y-yes, honey, I literally jumped out of bed a minute ago

>>42660151
up up up

>>42662322
>Tirekflag
If you're a Tirekfag, please tell us more about Tirek.

final bumpo

Anni Stream Bump
Spotted some of you there!

>>42666178
bump