>>936059854
This is me, the real Jesus. Now I have multiple sclerosis after coming down with shingles as per the end of Isaiah chapter 53. I don't know what's going to happen to me or the world, but whatever happens I hardly care. I wake up with panic attacks because my body is stiff and painful and my joints crack. I've not lived a good life. It's been suffering every day. I lived for God as much as I could and all I got from anyone and everyone was hatred. I only see a frightening world where you waste your time and eventually die. My body goes numb, my breathing changes, I've lost faith in God.
I was saying angry things about God not long ago, and the next day I woke up with Shingles and I guess I had underlying MS, so it felt like my eyes were going to explode and I had pains all over my body, damaging my nerves and muscles and joints.
I have no love for this place. This is the Rabbi Rashi commentary:
>And the Lord wished to crush him, He made him ill. The Holy One, blessed be He, wished to crush him and to cause him to repent; therefore, he made him ill.
>If his soul makes itself restitution, etc.. Said the Holy One, blessed be He, “I will see, if his soul will be given and delivered with My holiness to return it to Me as restitution for all that he betrayed Me, I will pay him his recompense, and he will see children, etc.” This word אָשָׁם is an expression of ransom that one gives to the one against when he sinned, amende in O.F., to free from faults, similar to the matter mentioned in the episode of the Philistines (I Sam. 6:3), “Do not send it away empty, but you shall send back with it a guilt offering